Transgender cruising without a name change

Does anyone have any experience with a transgender person cruising whose appearance and presentation don't match their ID?

I'm cruising with my transgender wife (MtF) early November on Carnival. She has not yet been able to get her name and gender marker legally changed and is not optimistic about being able to get it done in the 10ish weeks before we cruise. (Worst case scenario would be to start the process and not finish it since she'll have to send out both her passport and her birth certificate for revisions)

I'm mostly concerned with embarkation, where while she's still recognizable as the man on her driver's license and passport, she will be clearly presenting as a woman. Assuming embarkation goes okay, she'll have a cruise card with a male name and a female picture, which may cause issues whenever getting on or off the ship in port. On board, we can avoid any concern about the male name on her card not matching her appearance by my using my card for expenses.

I'm going to call Carnival to discuss the situation with them, but I know sometimes personal experiences don't match a company's stated position.

Hope all goes well for you both! Personally wouldn't bother me at all and I doubt very much if it would bother the staff onboard either, however I do understand getting on & off the ship in ports.

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There's a bit of information in this earlier thread: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2048154&highlight=transgender

Particularly post #6. I hope all goes well for you.

I thought I would post an update here in case anyone was interested and if this helps anyone else.

In an initial call with Carnival, the representative told us there wouldn't be a problem. I thought I would contact them again to see if I could get something in writing just in case the check-in agent was uninformed. Upon contact them again and ultimately speaking with a supervisor, we were told in no uncertain terms that my wife absolutely MUST present herself as male in appearance at the port to match her identification documentation and that if she appears as a female, she will be denied boarding until she changes her appearance accordingly.

The supervisor stated that this is due to customs and border patrol requirements and not Carnival itself, though I can't find anything to verify this and nothing on the TSA website mentions anything of the sort for international travel.

Needless to say, this has put a significant damper on our enthusiasm for this trip, especially finding this out just days before our departure. I'm particularly disappointed to be hearing this from Carnival which has a diversity statement that among other things promotes its partnership with the Human Rights Campaign.

In an initial call with Carnival, the representative told us there wouldn't be a problem. I thought I would contact them again to see if I could get something in writing just in case the check-in agent was uninformed. Upon contact them again and ultimately speaking with a supervisor, we were told in no uncertain terms that my wife absolutely MUST present herself as male in appearance at the port to match her identification documentation and that if she appears as a female, she will be denied boarding until she changes her appearance accordingly.

 

The supervisor stated that this is due to customs and border patrol requirements and not Carnival itself, though I can't find anything to verify this and nothing on the TSA website mentions anything of the sort for international travel.

That is not good news. You may want to call again and likely will get another supervisor who may have a different response. One often gets wrong information calling the cruise lines. And if you get a good response, insist on something in writing.

Contacting TSA may be worth a try too.

Good luck.

That's appalling! I'm so sorry. I'm hoping you didn't have a horrible experience with it. I can't believe they would do that.

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All I can offer is emotional support. I do hope this all works out for you. And I sincerely feel for you and your challenges. All I can suggest is some ambiguous costuming (think Judy Garland) while getting through the TSA/boarding and disembarking. I am not very clever in this area...you and your wife are probably far better at this than I am. But please know that you have support from many of us. Bon chance and please have a lovely cruise.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. My wife presented herself as a male to board the ship and we had no problems getting on board. Once on board, though, she returned to her usual female presentation and we had no problems with anyone on the ship. All onboard purchases were made by me using my card to eliminate any possibility of anyone questioning her identity.

Unfortunately, this meant she also needed to present herself as a male to disembark the ship while we were at port.

Overall it was disappointing and did put a damper on things, but we didn't let it get us down too much.

Glad you enjoyed your trip overall despite the challenges [emoji1]

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Given the recent election it is a good time for your wife to get her IDs updated. Social Security and a passport are straight forward once you have a name change done. Hopefully you live in a state where the DMV only requires a doctors letter to change gender. Once all that is done travel will be much easier. Best wishes.

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Given the recent election it is a good time for your wife to get her IDs updated. Social Security and a passport are straight forward once you have a name change done. Hopefully you live in a state where the DMV only requires a doctors letter to change gender. Once all that is done travel will be much easier. Best wishes.

 

 

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This is a great message sent in solidarity. We have entered dangerous times. I am not trans, but do identify as sort of queer. I am scared, and we need to stick together. Bon chance a tous. Solidarite!

This is a great message sent in solidarity. We have entered dangerous times. I am not trans, but do identify as sort of queer. I am scared, and we need to stick together. Bon chance a tous. Solidarite!

What are you really afraid of?

Hi Gashly Crumb.

I'm afraid I have only just read about your concerns and the experience you had in November. It sounds like it was very unsatisfactory.

A couple of years back I carried out a survey of cruise lines' attitudes to transgender passengers, and the ones who came out on top were P&O and Cunard.

I am in a different situation (and potentially more problematic) in travelling on a male passport but presenting as female - and I have not transitioned and have no intention of doing so.

P&O were very cooperative in helping me with any issues, I presented throughout as female, and was even given a second cruise card in my female name for use on board.

I have been on three P&O cruises as Elaine, and am about to try Cunard. Hopefully they will be equally supportive.

Hope you have better times ahead.

All the best.

Elaine

Hi Gashly Crumb.

 

I'm afraid I have only just read about your concerns and the experience you had in November. It sounds like it was very unsatisfactory.

A couple of years back I carried out a survey of cruise lines' attitudes to transgender passengers, and the ones who came out on top were P&O and Cunard.

I am in a different situation (and potentially more problematic) in travelling on a male passport but presenting as female - and I have not transitioned and have no intention of doing so.

P&O were very cooperative in helping me with any issues, I presented throughout as female, and was even given a second cruise card in my female name for use on board.

I have been on three P&O cruises as Elaine, and amabout to try Cunard. Hopefully they will be equally supportive.

Hope you have better times ahead.

All the best.

Elaine

YOU GO ELAINE !!! YOU GO GIRL!!!

Ive been on The Queens before when we have had several TG and Cross dressing passengers and all in all I think they had a good experience, in fact there is a regular on the World Cruises who is quite the character.

Security personnel on the ships are very supportive, if you have any problems - which I'm sure you wont go and see them. Cunard is very accepting.

Welcome onboard.

Hello everyone, I;m a transwoman (MTF) and will be going on a TA from Rome to San Juan. I just got off the phone with RCCL, they told me to come as I wish to be known as, but my name will have to stay male on my sail pass since that is what is on my passport. They told me that I should have nothing to worry about at the ports. My other question that they could not answer is how I should fly, should I fly as male to make everything easy especially traveling from USA to Rome.

Thanks for all the help

Hello everyone, I;m a transwoman (MTF) and will be going on a TA from Rome to San Juan. I just got off the phone with RCCL, they told me to come as I wish to be known as, but my name will have to stay male on my sail pass since that is what is on my passport. They told me that I should have nothing to worry about at the ports. My other question that they could not answer is how I should fly, should I fly as male to make everything easy especially traveling from USA to Rome.

Thanks for all the help

I am a woman with a trans history. :-) Before I transitioned fully I did fly domestically once with a "wrong" name and gender. It worked out OK but I didn't like it. Just too stressful wondering what might happen. Given where you are going you probably would be OK. It most likely won't be an issue on the ship no matter how you show up. If you are planning on transitioning at some point a legal name change and new passport with correct gender is the best route. My job and cruising have taken me around the world and I have had no problems. Of course, I avoided the middle east just in case and as a matter of principle. :-)

One more thought. From your signature it looks like you may be married. If so, ask them how they feel about traveling with document mismatch before you decide.