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Harmony of the Seas Review - Western Caribbean (7/29/17 - 8/5/17)


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Day 2 (Continued) :

 

After getting dressed for dinner, we made our way down to Deck 3 to the main dining room for our first formal night dinner of the cruise. Now I've been a Cruise Critic member for many years, and I'm quite familiar with the age-old debate of "what is acceptable formal night attire"? Note: I will not cover that here....However if you would like additional information on this thought-provoking topic, a quick "search" under the CC forums for the subject returns exactly 17,488,372 results. You're welcome. With that in mind, tonight's selection of passenger garments were basically the norm: an eclectic collection ranging from a woman in a $23,000 Swarovski crystal-embellished white satin Valentino designer gown -- to a guy in camouflage cargo pants and a faded black 1980 Motorhead "Ace of Spades" concert tour t-shirt.

 

We sat down at our table, and were promptly greeted by our outstanding waiter, Frances. He had something special prepared for us every evening -- along with the normal bread selections, Frances regularly had a "bonus" bowl of berries or a sliced fruit plate awaiting our arrival. Tonight was no exception -- a refreshing assortment of melons and pineapple. Dinner was excellent, and I ended the meal with yet another slice of New York-style cheesecake. The cheesecake in the MDR is available every night, and is made with a graham cracker crust, topped with strawberries. Perfect.

 

We walked up the two floors to the promenade, where the Captain's Welcome Aboard Reception was in full swing. It was pretty packed -- (In fact, I should mention here it was announced multiple times during the week that the total number of passengers on this sailing was 6,460 -- including 1,775 kids. I know that must sound daunting, but there were only a few instances all week when it actually seemed crowded). Anyway, we made a beeline across the promenade to one of the waiters carrying trays of complimentary champagne. I don't particularly enjoy any type of alcohol -- including champagne -- but it's always our tradition to partake in this event, so I invariably have a couple of sips, immediately recall how much I detest the taste, and then begin the challenging task of locating any available flat surface where I can somehow inconspicuously dispose of the glass flute containing 98.9% of it's original contents.

 

After returning to the cabin to change into more comfortable clothes, we made our way down to On-Air for trivia -- specifically "Music TV Theme Song Trivia". A little about me: I love trivia, and I am basically a self-proclaimed TV theme song expert -- with the one caveat that the show in question must originally have aired prior to the year 2000. So we make our way inside, and it is jammed. All seats occupied, standing-room-only, an unnerving amount of competition. But this is after all, TV theme song trivia, so essentially, GAME ON. They start out with some classics like Bewitched, Dallas, and Cheers, and everything is clipping along according to plan. Then a few more songs that at least one of the four of us immediately recognize, and we jump out of the gate at a rock-solid 8-0. Then....the host makes a critical adjustment, and opts to pull out what I refer to as the "newer stuff". He announces "Song Number 9" with enthusiasm and vigor. The track kicks in, and the expression on my face immediately shifts from "smug confidence" to that same dumbfounded look "white shirt guy" had when informed how the age-old system of a "sign-up" sheet works. Not only did I not recognize most of these tunes, I sincerely wasn't aware that many of the corresponding shows were actually ever produced. Over the final 7 questions, our score proportionately morphs from a jovial "8-0" to a rather bitter "I hate $#@% trivia".

 

We still had an hour or so before our scheduled 10:30 pm Comedy Show, so we donated some additional funds to our newest favorite charity: The RCCL Harmony of the Seas Casino Trust Foundation. Afterwards, I spent the brief stroll over to the comedy club trying to sell my wife on the idea that our modest donation to RCCL was truly money well utilized, as they do so many great things for so many people all around the world.

 

The comedy show takes place in The Attic on deck number 4. It's a much larger space than the dedicated comedy clubs on Oasis or Allure, and they actually utilize it as a "multi-purpose" venue. Various events, including Bingo, take place there during the daytime hours. We were the first to take our place in the "Have Reservations" line. (If you do not make reservations online through RCCL, you are relegated to the "Standby" queue, which basically resembles the line for the Dumbo ride at Disney World on a 4th of July weekend -- but this one doesn't move for an hour. You. Do. Not. Want.). Being the first to enter, we were able to meticulously cherry pick the optimum seats: Dead center and close enough to see everything, yet strategically far enough back from the first two rows so as not to end up becoming the comedy club fodder equivalent of the heavy bag at the Kronk Boxing Gym. The two comedians on this sailing were Simeon and Troy Thirdgill. Both were excellent, doing some of their best work when just interacting with audience members. We have seen Simeon before, but his material is always brand new, and always entertaining. We had the pleasure of seeing our first show featuring Troy Thirdgill, and he likewise, was outstanding. A very fun show all the way around.

 

We finished the evening watching some late night karaoke, then over to Sorrento's for a few slices. We carted those iconic red plastic plates stacked with pizza over to my favorite spot on the ship: The small tables just outside the pub. There is simply nothing better in this world than bathing in that late-night purple-blue glow of the Promenade, watching people stroll by, all while surrounded by family, and yes, I'll say it -- eating Sorrento's pizza. Boy, what I would give to be there now.....

 

A quick stop at The Cafe Promenade for a Cranberry White Chocolate cookie or four and a tall cup of ice water, then off to bed. A fantastic Day 2 was officially in the books. Tomorrow, Labadee....

Edited by NaplesGoBlue
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Harmony is a GREAT ship.....you will have a fantastic time.

 

I'll be on this same trip in 15 days. Can't wait!

Do you remember any party themes? I've read about a 90's party; any other party themes I should be aware of?

Looking forward to reading about the rest of the trip.

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Day 3:

 

Monday, day three, saw us dock in the port of Labadee at around 8:00 am. Of course, due to being hunkered down deep in our sarcophagus, we had no idea that we were actually in port at this point, as that type of information (i.e. anything taking place outside said sarcophagus) is not readily available due to the lack of balconies, windows, portholes, or any other visible access to the outside world. So just to be certain, I checked the TV channel that displays the ship's 24/7 camera. Confirmed. We were officially in Labadee.

 

We hopped on an elevator and made our way to breakfast in the main dining room. There was no need for me to peruse the menu, as I was absolutely having the long-anticipated two inch high french toast. There are three breakfast options in the MDR. They are: (a) order from selections on the menu, (b) choose from items in the buffet area, or © a combination of both a & b. I elected to go with ©. After placing my order for french toast, my son and I took a quick tour of the buffet. They had the usual fare -- fruit, cheese omelets, sausage, scrambled eggs, cereals, hash browns, etc. They also have french toast at the buffet -- however, it is the standard 1/2" thick slice of bread variety -- which a quick math calculation reveals is exactly 4 times inferior to the premium 2 inch thick french toast available on the menu.

 

Still reviewing the many buffet options, I paused at what could only best be described as a metallic "bucket o' bacon". This is essentially a trough-like metal receptacle overflowing with a gargantuan pile of bacon slices. On a plate adjacent to the receptacle, they provide you with an awkwardly large pair of tongs. With these lumbering tongs, you are expected to surgically remove one or two pieces of bacon from what resembles a convoluted wad of tangled Christmas lights - made up entirely of bacon. In essence, a pork-based version of the game "Operation". But instead of activating an annoying buzzer and lighting up a red nose if you are slightly too aggressive, you just end up with a nest of 34 slices of bacon in your tongs. Shaking the tongs at this point is futile. Fried bacon slices are apparently the culinary equivalent of industrial grade Velcro. Alternating from an up and down shaking motion to more of a side-to-side approach accomplishes absolutely nothing. Opening the tongs ever-so-slightly in order to release just a few pieces, immediately drops the entire 34 slice-of-meat bird's nest directly back into the trough. Soon, an eye-rolling line of impatient diners forms behind you, only adding to the immense overall pressure of the situation. Finally, I surrender, and toss the whole $#@% pile of bacon on my plate, work up my best contrived smile, return to our table, and gleefully announce to my family that I brought everyone some extra bacon.

 

After breakfast, we walk down to the gangway, exit the air-conditioned ship and head out into the scorching heat of Labadee. If you've never been to Haiti at the end of July, it can be difficult to describe. I live in southwest Florida and it gets hot. But Haiti gets HOT. Imagine Death Valley. Only hotter. With high humidity. And no breeze. So we jump on the ferry boat that shuttles guests directly over to Columbus Beach. We've never been to this side of Labadee, as we usually opt for Adrenalin Beach. Adrenalin offers the best area for snorkeling, but it features a minefield of jagged rocks lurking just below the water's aqua blue surface. TIP: If you are planning in advance on going to Adrenalin, you can begin training for the experience by simply purchasing a bucket of Lego's, scattering them throughout your home, and walking around the house barefoot. The soles of your feet should build up a sufficient level of resistance in just a few short weeks.

 

We spent a while relaxing in lounge chairs under the shady cover of a group of palm trees. I've read that Columbus is one of the least crowded beaches on Labadee, but there were a quite a few people there on this particular day. Lunch started being served at the tiki huts at 11:30, so I walked over and grabbed some ice waters and strawberry/kiwi drinks for everyone. We shared a few small snacks and some fruit, but decided to wait and have lunch back on the ship.

 

Before leaving, I wanted to pick up some trinkets for my staff back at the office, so we took our chances and set out for the main store in Labadee. (There is one larger store located there which offers a pressure-free shopping experience. However, if you are walking there from Columbus Beach, you will need to run the virtual gauntlet through the open vendor area housing multiple booths and a LOT of very aggressive "sales people"). It's a lot like being trapped in post-apocalyptic Atlanta on "The Walking Dead", but instead of pursuing your flesh, this horde is solely interested in the contents of your wallet. The gauntlet is about 1000 feet long or so, and in that stretch you'll find yourself saying "no thank you" approximately 275-300 times. We observed one vendor leaning over a railing and dangling a woven bracelet just out of the reach of an 8 or 9 year old boy in an attempt to get him to walk up the stairs to his booth. The kid's dad turned around and saw this, ran back, grabbed his son's hand, and continued briskly down the trail. (Reminded me a bit of Rick and Carl in season # 3). We found some pretty cool stone-carved items in the main store, and began our hike back to the ship.

 

After showering and changing, we headed to the Windjammer for lunch. The selection of items was great, and they also had the "Chocolate Bar" dessert thing available again -- so another good day at the 'Jammer. We played some table tennis, then went back to cabins for a quick nap, as I guess all that fresh air at the beach really took it out of us.

 

We had some time before dinner, so we went down to the Promenade, where we entered and promptly lost yet another Regalia jewelry raffle, leaving us now just 8 consecutive losses short of the current world record. Dinner in the MDR was excellent, highlighted again by the impeccable level of service, and of course, the cheesecake.

 

We were scheduled to see The Fine Line Aqua Show at 8:30 pm, but when we arrived at the aqua theater, there was lightning in the distance, winds were picking up, and light rain was falling. For the obvious safety of the performers, the show was canceled moments later. The attendant indicated that the event would likely be rescheduled for later in the week, (which it indeed was).

 

With our schedule now wide open, we spent the remainder of the evening playing in the casino, watching some karaoke, and going to the arcade. The Cafe Promenade had both oatmeal raisin and Coconut Ranger cookies, so I went ahead and added a piece of banana bread and just completed the trifecta. We checked out some of the 50's and 60's dance party on the promenade (which went on until midnight) then headed back to the cabins. My sons went down to the gym to workout, and my wife fell asleep while I sat up in bed, eagerly reviewing the Cruise Compass for Day # 4. Tomorrow we would arrive in Falmouth......

Edited by NaplesGoBlue
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Really enjoying your review. Lots of useful information and entertaining! I have a loooong wait before my family is on Harmony in December 2018. There will be 9 of us, me, my four kids and their spouses.

You mentioned that Adrenaline Beach is rocky. What about Columbus Cove? Did you go in the water and was it also rocky? Would you recommend water shoes if we spend a lot of time in the water?

Thanks for taking the time to do a review; can't wait for more.

Gail

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Really enjoying your review. Lots of useful information and entertaining! I have a loooong wait before my family is on Harmony in December 2018. There will be 9 of us, me, my four kids and their spouses.

You mentioned that Adrenaline Beach is rocky. What about Columbus Cove? Did you go in the water and was it also rocky? Would you recommend water shoes if we spend a lot of time in the water?

Thanks for taking the time to do a review; can't wait for more.

Gail

 

The Cove Side is not really Rocky at all; what I noticed during our June visit on Allure, at Barefoot Beach is the Grass/Sea Weed that is growing in the water, the Sand is very nice, (not St Marten nice, but nice enough). The Grass doesn't consume the entire area, but you'll likely notice and run into some. I don't know if it's as prevalent at Columbus Cove.

 

As far as Water Shoes, you don't really need them on the Cove Side (at least not in the Water or trekking from the Beach to the Water).

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Day 4:

 

The morning of day 4 saw the Harmony of the Seas docked in the port of Falmouth, Jamaica. We started our day by having yet another excellent breakfast in the main dining room. I went with the tried-and-true french toast off the menu, and made my way over to the buffet for some scrambled eggs and my daily morning wrestling match with the infamous Velcro bacon. Just a note: When ordering from the menu, your server will offer you orange juice, apple juice, and water. A word of caution on the regular dining room and Windjammer version of orange juice: the stuff is extremely strong. Kind of like citrus flavored turpentine. There is evidently some type of major miscalculation with the RCCL concentrate-to-water ratio, resulting in a citric acid level of 12.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. So you may want to go ahead and pre-order a water chaser to go along with your juice.

 

The gangway was opened at 9:45 am, and we exited the ship at around 10:30 am. We were in no real hurry this morning, as we have been to Falmouth a few times before and are pretty familiar with the place. If you've never visited this port, here's a quick synopsis of the set-up: Royal Caribbean built a sort of Walt Disney World "Main Street U.S.A." utopian safe zone right at the pier. There are rows of pristine shops constructed all along the small peninsular port, which is separated from the "real" Jamaica by a tall iron gate constantly manned by two or three armed guards. Now I know the Cruise Critic boards have a long history of discussion regarding the general feeling of security -- or lack thereof -- outside the gates of Falmouth and I will leave you to decide that for yourself. I will state that our one-time only venture past the gates ended abruptly after we turned to walk down one particular street right off the main strip a few years ago. We were immediately approached by two policemen who asked if we knew where we were going. We nonchalantly replied that we were just looking around, and they retorted with a sudden and rather emphatic "You don't want to go this way". So after a quick 180, it was right back through the gates for us. The castle wall style gates give the place a quaint "Lord of the Rings" vibe, and I can only speculate that their primary purpose was not intended to keep cruise passengers from getting out of the Walt Disney side....

 

Now if you plan on visiting the shops inside the safe zone, I may be able to assist you with that as well, with some time-saving tips. The shopping basically consists of two major types: (a) Jewelry shopping at all the usual cruise port suspects like Diamonds International, Tanzanite International, Effy, etc., and (b) your normal Caribbean souvenir type stuff -- with just a slight twist. The unique thing about Falmouth is that 99.4% of all souvenirs consist entirely of one of three basic themes: (1) Stuff with "Jamaica" on it, (2) stuff with images of Bob Marley on it, and (3) stuff with marijuana,/weed/cannabis/pot/Mary Jane/etc. on it. And every item is designed with the same mandatory quad-color combination of red, green, black, & yellow. In literally every store, you can purchase T-shirts, mugs, pens, aprons, wallets, jewelry, key chains, hats, shot glasses, towels, mouse pads, candles, oven mitts, pet toys, automotive floor mats, salt & pepper shakers, baby clothes, and much much more, with the exclusive condition that said item has either "Jamaica", Bob Marley, or a picture of weed on it. So if you've got that hard-to-buy-for special someone back home who is a pot-smoking fan of Jamaica's own Bob Marley -- AND who looks great in red, green, black, and yellow -- you can really put a serious dent in your Christmas shopping.

 

After taking a quick tour of the safe zone, we decided to head back on board. Because, as nice of a job as Royal Caribbean did on designing and constructing the Falmouth port area, there is simply nothing on that property that is better than anything on the $1 billion Harmony of the Seas.

 

We arrived on board just in time for my wife and I to catch a game of trivia in the On Air lounge, while our sons went down to the gym to work out. The theme of the trivia was "Famous Couples", and I figured we had a decent chance of winning when the only attendees were just us and two older couples that teamed up as a group of four. Two teams battling it out "1 v 1" for some coveted RCCL swag. Count me in. The trivia material was a wide ranging mix across all genres and generations, and at the end, we walked away with some genuine Royal Caribbean zipper pulls. Now living in southwest Florida, I almost never wear a jacket, and I honestly can't think of a single thing I can actually attach a zipper pull to, but I discounted all of that minutiae, and proudly added those little trophies to my original prize stash from the Meet & Mingle of day 2.

 

After a great lunch at the Windjammer, we played some table tennis, then decided to try out the Ultimate Abyss slide. The disclaimer sign posted at the entrance to the slide has all the usual warnings regarding rider safety, and lists the specific types of acceptable clothing. The sign strictly indicates the restriction of no skirts and and no shorts above the knee. My wife's shorts were above her knee, so we asked if she would be allowed to ride. The attendant replied that her shorts were fine, but that her sleeveless shirt would not be permissible. (Though we couldn't remember seeing that sleeve lengths were addressed on the actual sign). It was no big deal at all, as my wife just ran down to our cabin and grabbed a long sleeve shirt, but you will probably want to clarify the policy before standing in line, as a couple of women were wearing swim suit tops, and were turned away.

 

The slide was a lot of fun, but I think I spent too much time concentrating on not rubbing my knees or elbows against the tube on the way down, as I recalled all of the horror stories on Cruise Critic of people suffering cases of "Abyss road rash". I was able to make it to the bottom with my entire body free of any beet-red welts, but I really don't remember much more about the actual ride. The positive part of all this was that I did not have to spend the remainder of the cruise looking like I'd had some type of massive allergic reaction to the seafood salad at the lunch buffet.

 

We had reservations for the "Escape the Rubicon" puzzle room at 3:30 PM, so we worked our way over to the area just outside Adventure Ocean. There were 12 people registered for our group, but only 9 actually showed up (Our family of 4, and a group of 5 women that I think were a combination of friends and family members). Without giving anything away, the room itself and it's special effects are extremely well done. The puzzles are definitely challenging, and group cooperation is almost a must. Our RCCL attendant was a girl from England -- I don't recall her name -- but she was an exceptional host and guide during the game. It was about $8.00 or $9.00 a person to participate, and we all felt it was certainly worth the price. The whole thing has a one hour overall time limit, and our group made it out by solving the puzzle in about 53 minutes.

 

After another great meal at the MDR, we returned to the cabin to change out of our dinner clothes, and headed down to the promenade. Tonight was the Designer Handbag Sale. Now I have no interest at all in handbags -- designer or non-designer -- but these events are some of the most entertaining and captivating exhibits on the high seas. Here's the situation: The RCCL marketing staff first cordon off a circular area of tables in the very center of the Royal Promenade with a series of ropes and barricades. Inside that circle, they strategically place a cache of discounted designer wallets, purses, and handbags from coveted makers such as Coach, Michael Kors, and Kate Spade. Then they wait.

 

Within minutes, the crowd begins to form. Slowly at first, but continuously it builds. And it builds. Soon the promenade is a writhing mass of humanity pushing in on its inner core, which is only held together by those ropes, those barricades, and those handbags. Oh, those wondrous handbags.

 

Finally, a man emerges in the very center, and emphatically begins the countdown to when the ropes will fall and the throng will be released to converge on their prey......those leather-clad pouches bearing some of the most sought-after logos and names in the retail industry. 10............9..............8............7...........6............5............4............3...........2.....................1. In a solitary second, the Royal Promenade of the Harmony of the Seas is transformed into a merchandising rendition of The Hunger Games. Every contestant races to attain that one special item they've been fixated on since they took their initial position behind the ropes. But others want that same piece too. At the RCCL Designer Handbag Sale -- as if by some deliberate type of cruel economic joke -- the demand inevitably far exceeds the supply. And for a spectator watching safely from the periphery, that is where the fun begins.....

 

After the handbag-induced carnage, we headed down to deck 4 for the Headliner Show at the Royal Theater. The show featured nationally known ventriloquist Ronn Lucas, who was very entertaining. Our past Headliner Shows on our Royal Caribbean cruises have been almost exclusively individual singers or singing groups, so this was a welcomed variation for us. A great show.

 

We ended the night on the promenade in our usual way -- seated in front of the pub -- people watching, eating pizza, and sampling cookies from the Cafe Promenade. Our cruise was officially past it's half way point, but I tried to erase that thought from my mind as we looked forward to another activity-filled day at sea on our upcoming day number 5..............

Edited by NaplesGoBlue
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I'm loving your review! :D

 

Your bacon story brought back fond memories of my DH's run in with what must have been more of that same batch of bacon. He came back to our table with what must have been a full pound of the greasy mess. Since there were just two of us, and I'd already had my share of bacon, he felt obligated to eat the whole mess, something he would never normally do. Needless to say, it did not set well with him, especially during our catamaran snorkeling excursion later that afternoon. On a side note, I think some of the fish liked bacon. :eek: We then had to convince the ship's medical staff that his problem was bacon, not noro! He accomplished that by demanding, then eating a hearty but far less greasy dinner. Definitely not our best ever cruise day, but lesson learned. :cool:

 

I haven't stopped laughing since I read your post! :')

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I found your review yesterday and am thoroughly enjoying it, the only problem is I'm already all caught up so now I have to wait for the next installment. lol

We are on HOTS June 2018 so we have a pretty long wait ahead of us but your review is definitely shedding some light on this ship and its itinerary.

You talked about Jamaica here and our kids (20,18, 16 at cruise time) are already talking about an excursion to the caves or the blue hole, my guess is that guided excursions are safe beyond the gates??

Thanks again for taking the time to write such a detailed and insightful review; my 15 year old has already put the French toast on his list of things to do, okay okay, so have I.

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You talked about Jamaica here and our kids (20,18, 16 at cruise time) are already talking about an excursion to the caves or the blue hole, my guess is that guided excursions are safe beyond the gates?

 

We've been to Jamaica a few times and have always found it to be safe, especially on the guided excursions. DH even went exploring outside of the marketplace gates on his own (which I don't recommend going alone but that's me). Maybe they had some kind of crime activity at that particular time and were extra vigilant.:confused: Excursions to the caves and/or the blue hole was a lot of fun for us a few years ago!:D If anyone in your group has shoulder length or longer hair, the local Jamaican women will offer to don your pretty locks with braids fairly cheaply and then your hair is done for dinner that evening and maybe for the rest of the cruise!:rolleyes: However, if you take a tour bus up into the hills with very narrow roads, you may want to practice the well-known Jamaican phrase, "No problem mon!!!" I remember closing my eyes a few times!!:eek:

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Sailing on Harmony on October 14, 2017, so enjoying your review. I'll join the chorus, good fun to read! Thank you for taking the obvious time to write all this for the rest of us!

 

I only have one question so far, what's wrong with 34 strips of bacon on your plate? I'm missing the problem here.....lol

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Sailing on Harmony on October 14, 2017, so enjoying your review. I'll join the chorus, good fun to read! Thank you for taking the obvious time to write all this for the rest of us!

 

I only have one question so far, what's wrong with 34 strips of bacon on your plate? I'm missing the problem here.....lol

 

 

Sure wish I was going back on board Harmony in October......You will have a fantastic time.

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