You mention that "the AF regulation for retirees says unless you are on the cruise (or whatever event it is) or invited only because of your military service - the "Mess Dress" is not approved." But in a "sense" we are being invited by the cruise line to join them on this or that cruise, correct? See ads that say "You are invited...." or "Come join us....." or "Come and be part of.....", so as I said, you or we are being invited to join them. Of course, it is not an open, free invitation, but we pay for the privilege of being invited. Just saying.