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How much pain will you live with for a dress shoe?


lasparrot
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I have a very wide foot and have trouble buying any shoes that fit well. I do have 2 pairs of black, strappy sandals that are perfect for formal nights. They are too thin on the sole and the balls of my feet hurt and usually my pinky toe. So not wearing either pair anymore. If my shoes hurt I will wear for pics and through dinner then back to the cabin to change shoes and or complete outfit.

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None, zippo, nada.

 

Granted I'm in my 50's now. In my 20s, I would have put up with the discomfort to look good.

 

I agree (altho I'm I'm my early 60's).....I wore uncomfortable shoes (altho they looked great!) up into my 40-50's.

 

Headed on a cruise in a week, ditched the most uncomfortable ones in favor of some older (but less uncomfortable) ones.

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I understand the dilemma. And wanting to look good, or cute, or whatever word you prefer, but I question how good anyone looks when their feet are uncomfortable. Our bodies respond to the pain and will compensate and do things without our knowledge to try to move or stand or do whatever it takes to lessen the pain...and in the end...when our bodies do that...or our faces have a slight pinch to them because of being uncomfortable, well...we don't really end up looking cute or good, or whatever positive word we want to use, at all.

 

I'm still in the dilemma a bit because I ruptured my ACL a few years ago now. With conservative treatment, I have had no surgery and live without an ACL, so footwear is something that I take very seriously. Especially on a cruise...which is full of shiny, easy to clean slippery surfaces...and stairs...and slick decks...and just lots of steps in general...all of which occur on a moving vehicle which can experience "turbulence" and so I opt for comfort and safety above all.

 

But I do strive to find style in the midst of that. Keep looking, I'd say. And get creative in your thinking. I found a pair of sleek bronze oxfords that I wore on formal nights...with dresses...and they were fabulous. I was so happy to have happy feet.

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My feet have never been happy in heels or any shoe that's uncomfortable. Luckily I'm tall, so I never really felt the need to "go high". As I've gotten older, I feel like I'm on a constant hunt for shoes that are comfortable, well-made, supportive, and also look good. It ain't easy...! ;)

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If you have "problem" feet, you should not buy online...takes too much time to receive and return. Go to a shoe store and TRY SHOES ON! Wear them for a long time...walk around....fast and slow. Dance a bit! Do the things you'd likely do in them. If they don't feel good after 15 mins...they are not the right shoe for you. Shoes don't "become more "comfortable" if they don't start out comfortable!

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I must be comfortable, but I also choose to wear heels all evening, every evening. The solution for me is to wear only heels with a strap (mary janes). Then they don't have to be overly snug, or stiff, to stay in place. No platform style, as they don't flex with my feet. Think ballroom dance shoes, but more attractive.

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This is only the second time I've ordered online - I figured, what the heck, I'm not going to get to the shoe store before they arrive anyway. I do have problem feet and am learning what type of shoe works. Anything the an edge along the upper toe line is usually out: no ballet flats for me :-(

 

For some reason these are only moderately uncomfortable and not particularly painful. I've decided to keep them (and thanks for everyone's input!!!), even if only to wear on a date night at home. It is a rare LBD that looks great with flats! They were only $40 so not a big loss if I barely wear them. I MIGHT bring them on my next cruise for one of the formal nights, but I'll have flats as well. I am taking a suitcase as well as my carryon so I should have room/weight.

 

The rest of the time my shoes will be my ultra comfortable keen sandals, and I'll be thinking of you ladies when I slip them on ;-)

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If you have "problem" feet, you should not buy online...takes too much time to receive and return.

Um, no.

I live 1-2 hours from good shoe stores. Some stores or brands I like aren't available in my state in a brick & mortar store at all. It is FAR easier for me to order a bunch (typically brands I know well, even if I'm trying on different styles that might not work as well for my feet) and try on at home than to drive hours around all over the place. You do you, but that is NOT the only way or the easiest or the best way to get shoes.

As for how much pain I will endure- none. If a shoe isn't comfortable, I keep looking.

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I wear uncomfortable shoes when I know I'm going to be sitting. Usually church or restaurant. I'm 62 and I will put up with a lot to look nice

 

 

Same here! I have "dinner shoes"! Which means; from the car - to the restaurant - seat & eat - back to the car and home. :')

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I go for comfort but if the only problem is a tight spot around the outer toes or a pinch at the vamp I try out the shoe stretchers. They come with movable plastic pegs to stretch those areas that pinch most often. It normally works well although I normally buy leather only.

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Thanks for everyone's feedback. Yes, it is crazy to wear something uncomfortable... I usually wear blundstone boots or keen sandals, neither of which are good with a dress. It is tricky for me to find a shoe as anything that presses over the joint of my right big toe is uncomfortable. I was stomped on by a horse years ago and that joint has some arthritis. Something strappy is way out.

 

The heel is a good height and I find them very easy to walk in (even did 1/2 mile on the treadmill with them on), but they do press a bit on my big toe.

 

Maybe I have to take them back :-( or at least leave them home for our next cruise... or bring them and wear them one night for formal night and give all you helpful ladies an opportunity to say 'I told you so'!

 

I am another huge advocate for the WEDGE sandal! I especially love Michael Kors wedge sandals, you can find them at Macy's and other places. They are super comfortable and come in all sorts of colors. I picked up a pair of gold ones for the cruise I'm going on this October :)

 

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/michael-michael-kors-damita-platform-wedge-sandals?ID=779791&CategoryID=13808&swatchColor=Black#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D315%26ruleId%3D132%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%7CBOOST%20ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D1

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Several random thoughts:

 

First, there's discomfort, then there's pain. I won't put up with any pain from a shoe, but I will accept a bit of discomfort -- for a short time. If the shoe is actually painful, it's not for you.

 

I'm with those who say they have "dinner shoes" or "church shoes". If you're going to walk in them only 15-20 minutes, who cares if they're not all that comfortable? You can put up with discomfort for that bit of time.

 

Having said that, daytime shoes /shoes that're worn for walking or for a long period of time MUST be 100% comfortable. I have trouble with Plantar Fascitis, and I have several "rules" that I MUST follow (at least most of the time), or I pay the price later.

 

If I were in a situation where I needed to look good AND needed to walk more than a bit, I'd opt for a long skirt so I could wear very casual sandals and no one would know.

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I have a very wide foot and have trouble buying any shoes that fit well. I do have 2 pairs of black, strappy sandals that are perfect for formal nights. They are too thin on the sole and the balls of my feet hurt and usually my pinky toe. So not wearing either pair anymore. If my shoes hurt I will wear for pics and through dinner then back to the cabin to change shoes and or complete outfit.

I'm in the same boat. I have extreme trouble finding shoes as I wear a 5EE and I prefer heels higher than 1.5in.

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Yesterday I found what real pain was wearing a pair of shoes. I have a flat that has a criss-cross toe creating a peep toe. They are really cute but I have only worn them a couple of times.

Well, I was going to watch a choral competition and figured I would be sitting all afternoon. These adorable, cute shoes killed my feet, even when I wasn't walking. They hurt the top of my toes and squeezed my toes. I was in agony for about 8 hours. If we had been close to home I would have changed them but we were about a 20 minute ride. Ugh. Never again. I am so glad I didn't take them on a cruise.

Live and learn.

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Most sandals with a strap across or that end on my toes are uncomfortable. I just bought a new pair with a short wedge heal. I liked the shoes and put a piece of mole skin at the toe area. Made them much more comfortable.

 

That's actually a good idea. But the shoes I was wearing Saturday are going in the trash. Next time.

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I purchased a really cute pair of patent 'non-leather' slingbacks that I totally love, however, like any shoe with a heel they cause me pain due to a swollen knuckle on my big toe.

 

I've been wearing them around the house to see how bad it is and have found that while the pain isn't huge, they are uncomfortable. I would wear them with a dress to dinner on the ship and probably change into flats after supper. Is it worth it to look good for a little while? How much discomfort do you endure in the name of fashion?

 

Thanks - I look forward to hearing your answers! Laura

 

I used to wear painful shoes. It isn't worth it. I just recently minimized my footwear closet, getting rid of some shoes I was holding onto, just in case I wore them again, even though there were painful. They are gone and I am relieved I don't have to see them in the closet anymore.

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Ugg makes strappy wedge sandals that are really cute. And they use a nice leather that can stretch. I know, I was surprised, too.

 

As to the opening question -- I never wear uncomfortable shoes. Even my heels fit well, have a nice arch support, and I can wear them for hours. I have a narrow, flat foot with arthritis starting in my left big toe. Lousy shoes leave my ankles and knees hurting, never mind my feet screaming at me. I own fewer, really good, shoes so that I don't hurt.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I wear uncomfortable shoes when I know I'm going to be sitting. Usually church or restaurant. I'm 62 and I will put up with a lot to look nice

 

I'm 61 and it's all about looking great for me. I buy high end dress shoes, so they are more comfortable than most. A tip...take along flesh colored bandaids. If your shoes start to rub, a bandaid stops that.

Our last cruise I wore 3 inch cage sandals with my dinner dresses and we never used an elevator the entire 8 days. I am pretty adept at getting around in a pair of heels though. Gotta look good , always!

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