Unfriendly gays on cruises

Wait....why just because I am gay...do I have to say hello to others who may(or may not) be gay. Do black people have to say hello to all black people they see on cruises? I suspect that my many Asian friends do not feel any anxiety when they are not greeted by other Asians when passing on the street. It seems that gay guys still have this thing about being noticed...just saying

It's really annoying when the newbies don't read the guidebook. Show me any group that does not clump together.

:)

/s

Wait....why just because I am gay...do I have to say hello to others who may(or may not) be gay. Do black people have to say hello to all black people they see on cruises? I suspect that my many Asian friends do not feel any anxiety when they are not greeted by other Asians when passing on the street. It seems that gay guys still have this thing about being noticed...just saying

Exactly. Thank you!!

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Exactly. Thank you!!

 

 

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I'll remember to not say hello to either of you.

I'll remember to not say hello to either of you.

Ok...and I’m perfectly fine with that because I wouldn’t want someone greeting me unless they truly wanted to greet me. I mean, seriously, do all the straight people always say hello to every other straight person.

We’re all people...it really doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, trans, bi, black, blue, white, yellow, purple or anything else...if I want to say hello to you, I will...and if I don’t, I won’t. I don’t single people out because of what/who you appear to be because honestly, unless I personally know you, I don’t know what/who you are.

I say hello to someone because I want to share a smile or greeting with that person. Maybe we caught an eye, maybe you needed a little help with a door, maybe I just thought I wanted to say hello to you. It’s my choice based on whatever, but I’m not going to say hello to you just because I think you’re gay. That’s just not who I am.

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Ok...and I’m perfectly fine with that because I wouldn’t want someone greeting me unless they truly wanted to greet me. I mean, seriously, do all the straight people always say hello to every other straight person.

 

We’re all people...it really doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, trans, bi, black, blue, white, yellow, purple or anything else...if I want to say hello to you, I will...and if I don’t, I won’t. I don’t single people out because of what/who you appear to be because honestly, unless I personally know you, I don’t know what/who you are.

 

I say hello to someone because I want to share a smile or greeting with that person. Maybe we caught an eye, maybe you needed a little help with a door, maybe I just thought I wanted to say hello to you. It’s my choice based on whatever, but I’m not going to say hello to you just because I think you’re gay. That’s just not who I am.

 

 

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I understand your position. Would you ignore a gay person who says hello to you, just to prove a point? We're talking about basic courtesy and decency here.

I understand your position. Would you ignore a gay person who says hello to you, just to prove a point? We're talking about basic courtesy and decency here.

I would never ignore anyone who says hello to me. I would offer them the same courtesy back.

I’m just saying that I’m not scouting around to search out all the gays on the ship to be sure that I didn’t miss saying hello to them.

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1.I am really confused how people who post here seem to be able to tell that others are gay by simply looking at them. That is a sad commentary on the lack of progress and positive growth in the gay community.

2.Sorry, but when someone says hello to me, the first thing I think is NOT, “oh they must be gay.”

We are not talking about common decency here. What is being proposed is that some suspected gay people are rude because they do not say hi when greeted by a stranger. That is silly, and sounds like a third grader complaining to the recess proctor that kids on the playground won’t play with him.

I would never ignore anyone who says hello to me. I would offer them the same courtesy back.

 

I’m just saying that I’m not scouting around to search out all the gays on the ship to be sure that I didn’t miss saying hello to them.

 

 

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Yes...this.

Yes...this.

??

I’m truly sorry that I ever posted on this topic.

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??

 

I’m truly sorry that I ever posted on this topic.

 

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At the end of the day, no one is forcing you to do anything. You don't have to talk to anyone.

We've had a couple of cold experiences on ships. One (Crystal) where all gay couples snubbed us, and on other lines where just one couple or two coldly refused to respond to our smiles and hellos. I am always shocked when this happens. But...these bad experiences have been far out-numbered by good ones.

Just got back from a princess cruise and met a lot of very friendly folks. That Id as gay and we ended up meeting every night for a drink

Saw others on board who we knew where gay because they had on pride shirts and invited them to join us but they said they had family members traveling with them so .....

However princesss is very gay friendly and posted a meeting in the daily post of events. We even had a few straight folksjoin us but we always indicated that we were a LGBT group and they were welcome to join us

, somevdid others moved along

We've had a couple of cold experiences on ships. One (Crystal) where all gay couples snubbed us, and on other lines where just one couple or two coldly refused to respond to our smiles and hellos. I am always shocked when this happens. But...these bad experiences have been far out-numbered by good ones.

My husband and I had the same experience with the other gay couples on Crystal... outright throwing daggers with their eyes at us in the dining room, like they feared we were going to jump up and scream "Haaaaaaaaay, Girlfriends!!!!!" and throw glitter on them.

Our experiences on other cruises, especially those that have a posted Friends of Dorothy/LGBT gathering have been quite different. We didn't become instant friends with every other gay couple, but it was nice to see that people were comfortable and getting a friendly hello or nod is often nice.

like they feared we were going to jump up and scream "haaaaaaaaay, girlfriends!!!!!" and throw glitter on them.

lmao!

Male half of an 'older' straight couple here - neither of us give a rodent's patootie whether someone is gay, straight, or androgynous. Likewise we don't give a crap about ethnicity; if we enjoy their company and they enjoy ours that's all we need to know.

(After my late wife died, some years ago, I briefly dated a woman with a gay daughter - we met online, and before we met in person she asked me how I felt about gays; I replied that I felt no obligation to like someone simply because they were gay, but other than that it wasn't a factor.)

My general experience meeting fellow gay men on a cruise has been very positive. Especially on Cunard people are very open and friendly. Same experience on Celebrity.

I once cruised on Oceania and the general atmosphere was a bit weird and unfriendly. One gay couple flatly ignored us every time we ran into them. Other ones showed odd somewhat embarassing behaviour.

However in 2016 it was great to be back again in the Commodore Lounge on Queen Mary 2 :-)

This topic definitely strikes a chord with me. Based on a few data points I have observed based on my cruising experiences (mostly gay), the following trends seem to apply... in America, that is:

Unfriendly/Haughty/Boring Gays tend to be:

-younger

-have a lower body fat percentage

-come from NYC and points north and east

Friendly/Outgoing/Fun Gays tend to be:

-older

-less obsessed with body fat/image

-come from the sun belt (FL, TX, CA, etc.)

I once happened to be seated at breakfast with a couple from NYC who literally lived one block from me. Didn't express even a whiff of interest in anything about me. The conversation was all about their fabulous apartment and the fabulous location, fabulous renovation, blah blah blah. And then for the rest of the cruise they didn't even acknowledge my existence. On another cruise, I was seated at the end of a group table (against a wall) next to a couple from NYC, who literally turned their backs away from me. I could postulate on the reasons this happens to me on cruises (ageism, racism, looks-ism, etc.), but this type of NYC gay trash is simply not worth two seconds to ponder over. By stark contrast, I have always had lots of fun with my fellow Palm Springs and Florida cruisers.

Full disclosure: I live in NYC!

This topic definitely strikes a chord with me. Based on a few data points I have observed based on my cruising experiences (mostly gay), the following trends seem to apply... in America, that is:

 

Unfriendly/Haughty/Boring Gays tend to be:

-younger

-have a lower body fat percentage

-come from NYC and points north and east

 

Friendly/Outgoing/Fun Gays tend to be:

-older

-less obsessed with body fat/image

-come from the sun belt (FL, TX, CA, etc.)

 

I once happened to be seated at breakfast with a couple from NYC who literally lived one block from me. Didn't express even a whiff of interest in anything about me. The conversation was all about their fabulous apartment and the fabulous location, fabulous renovation, blah blah blah. And then for the rest of the cruise they didn't even acknowledge my existence. On another cruise, I was seated at the end of a group table (against a wall) next to a couple from NYC, who literally turned their backs away from me. I could postulate on the reasons this happens to me on cruises (ageism, racism, looks-ism, etc.), but this type of NYC gay trash is simply not worth two seconds to ponder over. By stark contrast, I have always had lots of fun with my fellow Palm Springs and Florida cruisers.

 

Full disclosure: I live in NYC!

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in 30 or 40 years when these "PERFECT" specimens are older, pudgy, and losing their hair. They have NO idea!

This is a rather depressing thread but sadly I can agree with many of the experiences.

We shall still cruise, smile and say hello to everyone but especially fellow LGBT guests and hope that they smile back!

NCL gatherings have always been better in our experience and of course the ships sauna is always another good meeting place.

This is a rather depressing thread but sadly I can agree with many of the experiences.

 

We shall still cruise, smile and say hello to everyone but especially fellow LGBT guests and hope that they smile back!

 

NCL gatherings have always been better in our experience and of course the ships sauna is always another good meeting place.

Why is the sauna a good place to meet people? Do you keep asking people, are you gay, until you find someone? :confused: :)

Why is the sauna a good place to meet people? Do you keep asking people, are you gay, until you find someone? :confused: :)

I was wondering that too.

Why is the sauna a good place to meet people? Do you keep asking people, are you gay, until you find someone? :confused: :)

Ha, no you don’t have to, anyone with a reasonably working gaydar can figure it out. The sauna is a good place to chat to people anyway, gay or straight and certainly gay couples become pretty obvious.

Try it out, it’s not a seedy bath house, just guys who like to sweat!

Ha, no you don’t have to, anyone with a reasonably working gaydar can figure it out. The sauna is a good place to chat to people anyway, gay or straight and certainly gay couples become pretty obvious.

 

Try it out, it’s not a seedy bath house, just guys who like to sweat!

Excuse me if I come off as a prude but the LAST place i want to meet anyone is in the sauna!

And are we not supposed to read between the lines in your post " just guys who like to sweat!"?

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me if I come off as a prude but the LAST place i want to meet anyone is in the sauna!

 

And are we not supposed to read between the lines in your post " just guys who like to sweat!"?

 

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely nothing was intended to be read between the lines! Perhaps the sauna isn’t for everyone but there really isn’t anything to be prudish about, we’re all the same at the end of the day. Guess I won’t be bumping into you in the sauna!