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Leaving Children alone on Board


sotong
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I'm thinking of cruising with my 13 yr old DD and as she won't want to do the sightseeing shore trips thinking of leaving her on board whilst I disembark for a few hours.

 

Looking for some advice / information on the different cruise lines policies on leaving children on board alone, do they have to be in the clubs, do I have to sign something extra?

 

Thanks, Gillian

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I would ONLY leave my child IF they were IN THE CLUB! And yes...you can do that!It's up to you and how much you can trust your child....at 13, they are allowed to sign themselves in and out of the club.

I wouldn't want my 13 year old girl wandering the ship on her own.

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I would have left my two sons onboard by themselves at age 13 (although I never did). Both were mature for their ages. Even if the kids are in the youth program, at age 13 they don't have to sign in and out of the club. It's probably not even an option. Most of the clubs by age 13 aren't even monitored by an adult. It's free play during the day with some activities here and there. It's a personal decision for the parent.

Edited by rebeccalouiseagain
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As I understand it, P&O (UK) don't let you leave a child on board. Though how effectively they can police it, I don't know; though I suspect if a solo child misbehaves after you've deliberately broken the rules, you're at risk of walking home!

 

Other lines do allow children to stay on board alone. I'd check the specific boards for details. A general question on this board may well turn into a general discussion of whether it's a good idea, and whose children are fit to be left!

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The key word is "supervised". On all the cruise lines, by age 13 the youth program is loose. There is no sign in or sign out sheet. The kids come and go as they please. As far as I know, they do not offer to babysit a 13 year old at all. So it depends on the maturity of the child and whether the parent trusts said child to behave responsibly. I never allowed my children to swim without a parent being present. There are no lifeguards and teens can and often do things by the pool that isn't safe- I've seen it and cringe. More than not, IMO, kids play off each other. So if other teens are hanging out with them and there is zero supervision from parents- that's a concern. Again, my two boys were very well-behaved and not risk takers. I have left my teen onboard at age 15 and had no qualms about it.

Edited by rebeccalouiseagain
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I'm thinking of cruising with my 13 yr old DD and as she won't want to do the sightseeing shore trips thinking of leaving her on board whilst I disembark for a few hours.

 

Looking for some advice / information on the different cruise lines policies on leaving children on board alone, do they have to be in the clubs, do I have to sign something extra?

 

Thanks, Gillian

 

The answer is really cruise line specific, so if you can tell us what line you are sailing, you will get better answers.:)

 

If you are sailing Royal Caribbean, your 13 yr old would be old enough to be in the Teen Club and on port days, that Club is unsupervised until later in the day. Your child would not be allowed off the ship, she would be stopped when they saw she wasn't with an adult.

 

We left our son on the ship a couple times when he was 16. One time, he was still sleeping when we went into port to go shopping for a couple of hours prior to an afternoon excursion that he was going on with us. Another time, we brought him back to the ship after a morning excursion and then went back off the ship to do some shopping in the port area. Neither time were we gone for more than a couple of hours and all aboard was hours after we got back to the ship.

 

I would leave her for a couple of hours but with very strict instructions on what she could do and not do. We also left our son with a cell phone that he could reach us with, just in case we needed to return immediately.

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But just to show what children are capable of, my brothers were 13 and 11 when they were put on board at Newcastle and were met at Esjberg next day, 18 hours later. They were well able to cope. (This was 1972 - opinions of what children can do have been much lowered, so I doubt it would be allowed now.)

Edited by dsrdsrdsr
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That's a tough question that I'm struggling with myself. I've got two girls, seven and almost 13. The seven year old is easy, she'll be in the club, but the 12 yr old not so much. She's super responsible and I leave her home alone for an hour or two, but I don't want her wandering the ship alone while we are off the boat. Haven't decided yet if I'm comfortable with it, but leaning towards no. If she were to hang in the room and not leave, maybe, but that's not much fun.

 

 

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As long as a child is out of diapers (I know this isn't an issue for you but am including it for others), NCL will allow you to leave a child in the kids club while you are ashore.

 

Just wanted to add on to this since we just got off the jade and ran into a little problem. Here is the guidelines via NCL's website.

 

Can I leave the ship on a port day while my child is in Splash Academy?

 

 

Yes, unless you are given a handy phone or pager for the following reasons*:

 

  • Your child is in diapers
  • Your child requires 1 on 1 care
  • Your child has a sever special need and /or medical condition

For the safety of your child and to not cause any inconvenience, please reach out to the access desk prior to sailing at accessdesk@ncl.com for any inquiries. If you are not reachable within 15 minutes of the page, a $75.00 USD fee will be applied to your account and your child will be dismissed from program. Handy phone and pagers do not work ashore.

*You or one of the authorized pick-up-people must remain onboard.

 

 

No diapers/special needs but she was considered as needing one on one care due to them having to page us multiple times on the sea day on the way to the ports. Our Daughter was three when we took her and was just not feeling the splash academy from day 1. Its not that she is some wild child, I think it was just way to much to take in for her on the first day. By day 4 she was fine and actually asked to go back a couple of times but the damage had been done and she was not allowed to stay while we got off (completely understandable I don't think the wife would have left her anyway). I feel NCL really does have a great kids program but I wanted to post this because it was a little strain on our vacation not being able to do certain things with our kiddo. Still a great trip though!

Edited by TheTAinSA
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That's a tough question that I'm struggling with myself. I've got two girls, seven and almost 13. The seven year old is easy, she'll be in the club, but the 12 yr old not so much. She's super responsible and I leave her home alone for an hour or two, but I don't want her wandering the ship alone while we are off the boat. Haven't decided yet if I'm comfortable with it, but leaning towards no. If she were to hang in the room and not leave, maybe, but that's not much fun.

 

 

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That's a definite no. You can't go on holiday to enjoy yourself and leave your child (practically) locked up. If she's fit to be left, then leave her; if she's not, then don't. There are no other options.

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How about waiting and see how things are going onboard. She might meet some other kids, and you might feel more comfortable leaving her. My 13 year old have the run of our town, but are rarely alone, and there are eyes on them at all times. If my child made a new friend, and I wasn't leaving the ship, I'd be happy to be the adult for someone else's child. If I left my 13 year old onboard, there would be strict rules, like no swimming (and going into other cabins, but that's a rule anyway). I'd also make sure we could keep in touch.

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How about waiting and see how things are going onboard. She might meet some other kids, and you might feel more comfortable leaving her. My 13 year old have the run of our town, but are rarely alone, and there are eyes on them at all times. If my child made a new friend, and I wasn't leaving the ship, I'd be happy to be the adult for someone else's child. If I left my 13 year old onboard, there would be strict rules, like no swimming (and going into other cabins, but that's a rule anyway). I'd also make sure we could keep in touch.

 

 

Thank you, for the great advice. My fiancée has said the same thing :).

 

 

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Edited by Jennybear2299
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That's a definite no. You can't go on holiday to enjoy yourself and leave your child (practically) locked up. If she's fit to be left, then leave her; if she's not, then don't. There are no other options.

 

 

There are usually other options, thank goodness, as we can see from the helpful advice of the person who posted after you. Posts like yours make me shake my head. Let's try to help each other rather than spend so much energy judging.

 

 

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There are usually other options, thank goodness, as we can see from the helpful advice of the person who posted after you. Posts like yours make me shake my head. Let's try to help each other rather than spend so much energy judging.

 

 

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The poster after me wasn't giving another option. The poster after me was giving suggestions on how to judge whether your daughter can safely be left on board. Not giving suggestions on how to leave her on board when she's not fit to be left.

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  • 1 month later...

Call me an evil and awful parent... I have left my 9 year old on board while I went snorkeling (because I wasn't sure he was up to it.) On a 7 day, 4 port cruise. He wasn't into the kids club, and only went 2 times during the whole trip. The first time was embarkation day to check it out (with me) the second time was for 20 minutes when I promised him if he didn't like it he didn't have to go. He went, stayed 20 minutes and left. I never made him go again. On that cruise we did excursions together at the first three ports and had the best time!! The fourth port, I told him I wanted to go snorkeling, and I wasn't 100% sure he was ready for it. His eyes got huge when he thought he had to go back to kids club. I told him he didn't. He suggested that he'd stay in the room. My son is a late sleeper, we had an interior, and there was a TV in the cabin. We went to breakfast, he brought lunch back for himself from the buffet, and he went back to the cabin. While I was gone, he slept, ate a rediculously large number of chocolate chip cookies, and watched tv. When I got back, we went back off the ship and did some souvenir shopping for our loved ones, then got back on board. I don't think he felt cheated. He's now 14 (15 in Sept) and he's already complaining he's a rising sophomore and he's going to be "stuck" with middle schoolers (Carnival) if he goes to the youth programs. I told him same will apply. Check it out, but I won't force him. But this time, we have excursions planned for all 4 ports (same intinery as the 9 year old trip) but now he can do anything.

 

All this to say, you know your child and what they are capable of. I knew my kid wasn't going to go wild on the ship. I knew he wasn't going to freak out. I knew my kid wasn't going to go up on deck and harass someone with small talk like some kids have done to me. I once went for a pedi and the shop owners grand daughter (5ish) talked incessantly and kept showing me stupid YouTube videos!!! I knew he wasn't going to feel abandoned, and I have no insecurities about whether my son and I spend enough quality time together. If he'd rather stay on the ship and eat cookies for a morning.. He's on vacation too!

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  • 2 weeks later...
I'm thinking of cruising with my 13 yr old DD and as she won't want to do the sightseeing shore trips thinking of leaving her on board whilst I disembark for a few hours.

 

Looking for some advice / information on the different cruise lines policies on leaving children on board alone, do they have to be in the clubs, do I have to sign something extra?

 

Thanks, Gillian

 

Since you are the one paying for the cruise, how about you make going on the shore trips just a part of the experience for everyone? Maybe sit down together and look at what trips are offered, and choose ones that you both will like? I personally would never leave a 13 year old girl alone to wander on a cruise ship. Probably nothing at all would happen, but could you really enjoy your shore trip wondering if she was ok? Would there be any way to contact you if there was a problem?

I have found that kids on cruises become 'best of friends' super quick. This can be problematic if the 'new best friend' decided to encourage her to participate in questionable activities.

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I really think it depends on the kid. If my child was a daredevil, rebellious or a risk-taker by nature, I would say no. But, I am blessed with 2 basically good kids who are used to structure and understand they must follow the rule. Yes - they only need 1 rule: would you do it if mom were watching? This nice and tidy rule eliminates running, elevator play, cursing, throwing, doing dangerous stuff or going into a strangers room. And they are aware of consequences for a broken rule - grounded to cabin for remainder of day, at a minimum. Only once have I imposed this, when my 15 year old did not show up to dinner until dessert (family dinner and shore excursions are our family requirements).

 

We usually cruise carnival and both my kids have had sign in/out since they were 9. But, they were only allowed to do that by keeping in touch and either being in camp, the room, or with us. And, they were required to be in the room at 10pm, and we checked. As they have moved into their tween and teen years, and now have 10+ cruises, under their belt, they have more freedom, and can stay out for late night activates if they want. We often are in bed by 10, and don't see them until we wake them in the morning.

 

The reason I say all that, is leaving them on board and going ashore for a few hours without them, that much different from the daily freedom of a cruise ship (I'm not sure I would do it at a tender port as there could be problems returning)? The only logical difference is when we are on board, it is likely we will pass our boys or see them at a distance; the ships really aren't that big, and they know we can find them pretty much anytime. If they know you are ashore...well...if the cat is away, will the mice play? Only you can know your kid....

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I think 13 year olds don't really know what they will enjoy ahead of time. I can't believe she just wouldn't enjoy seeing other places and things. Sure they like to act all "who cares", but usually are pretty impressed when they do. Went to Italy with a 13 year old boy, who thought that way ahead of time, but we had a great time. Still talks about that trip and he's 27.

 

I agree I'd let her help pick the excursion or else just go shopping. What young lady doesn't like that. And a cute restaurant to boot!

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Another things to consider, aside from the maturity of the kids is how reliable is the off ship activity and how sure are you that you'll get back on board.

I say this because we missed our ship in St. Thomas and watched the ship pull out of port. Sickening feeling without having your kids on board - can't imagine what it would be like if your kids were on the ship! Just saying that we will now only take ship sponsored excursions for that reason - they will guarantee your return to the ship. If you are out on your own and something unexpected happens out of your control, you are powerless. Oh, and P.S. - bring your passport! We found out the hard way.

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When we went on a Caribbean cruise about 14 years ago my daughter was then only 5 and we left her in the kids club as the excursion wasn't of any interest to her. We were late back from the trip as stuck in terrible traffic and all I could do was worry about her, (thank god it was a ships excursion) I would never do it again with my other child who is now 8, no way, I would worry what if something happened to me whilst off the ship then who is there for her all alone on board. My daughter was fine and the kids club staff had taken her for an early dinner with a few other kids left alone but I just wouldn't do it again!

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When we went on a Caribbean cruise about 14 years ago my daughter was then only 5 and we left her in the kids club as the excursion wasn't of any interest to her. We were late back from the trip as stuck in terrible traffic and all I could do was worry about her, (thank god it was a ships excursion) I would never do it again with my other child who is now 8, no way, I would worry what if something happened to me whilst off the ship then who is there for her all alone on board. My daughter was fine and the kids club staff had taken her for an early dinner with a few other kids left alone but I just wouldn't do it again!

 

Of course, you could make a similar argument against leaving her at school while you go somewhere else. Especially if there are no grandparents living round the corner.

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  • 1 year later...
Of course, you could make a similar argument against leaving her at school while you go somewhere else. Especially if there are no grandparents living round the corner.

 

Do you have children? If so, do you really believe your statement?

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