IS Seabourn chauvinistic?

My better half has also kept her own name and she is usually called by it on Seabourn.

 

It has happened that she has been called by my name and it has also happened that I have been called by her name. It doesn't bother either of us.

 

I don't think it is chauvinism. Rather it is a crew member trying to get it right without actually knowing and making an assumption which, in 95% of cases, would be the right one.

yes my husband spent two weeks being called my name as i had booked the holiday....but I suppose it happens more to me...and it is an assumption that people are married ....and that someone has given up their name...

i think i would call it chauvinistic as mostly does happen to women..... especially when someone is looking at a cards or room details with two names and make the decision to call you by the man's name.....to me MRS always implies MR'S Property....

when someone now calls me MRS XXX - i usually look blankly at them and tell them they have my cabin/room confused with someone else as that is not my name.

its also a security issue - the name on the passport is the name on the card and not to be changed by staff cause they feel like it....your card is your passport getting on and off ports....so it's correct...

but sounds like seabourn won't do this ...so i'm hopeful..

yes my husband spent two weeks being called my name as i had booked the holiday....but I suppose it happens more to me...and it is an assumption that people are married ....and that someone has given up their name...

 

i think i would call it chauvinistic as mostly does happen to women..... especially when someone is looking at a cards or room details with two names and make the decision to call you by the man's name.....to me MRS always implies MR'S Property....

 

when someone now calls me MRS XXX - i usually look blankly at them and tell them they have my cabin/room confused with someone else as that is not my name.

 

its also a security issue - the name on the passport is the name on the card and not to be changed by staff cause they feel like it....your card is your passport getting on and off ports....so it's correct...

 

but sounds like seabourn won't do this ...so i'm hopeful..

My point is - at least on Seabourn - I don't think it happens because of chauvinism. I think it is inadvertent because the crew member doesn't know both names.

My point is - at least on Seabourn - I don't think it happens because of chauvinism. I think it is inadvertent because the crew member doesn't know both names.

but why would they know one name.- the man's- ..and not bother with the other...so the idea of maybe not bothering to use or call the female by her name as in their minds 'sure we can just use the man's name' ....seems blatant chauvinism to me ......

in my experience - when the names of a room/cabin occupants are on your booking screen/system in front of you or on a card....and you still insist on calling me by a name you made up....based on my husband's name....seems chauvinistic...

but i wait with baited breath to see no chauvinism on seabourn.....:halo:

I started this thread and I am satisfied now that my issue is a result of a glitch. However, we ran into another issue in the printed list of guests on our last Ovation cruise.

My name had been listed as (an example) Lisa Smith Jones. Smith is my family name before marriage. In the guest list, I was listed as Mrs. Lisa Smith-Jones and alphabetized with the Ss.

My husband's name as (an example) John Martin Jones. HE was listed in the guest list as John Martin-Jones--under the Ms.

We both have the (example) last name Jones and should have both been alphabetized under the Js.

I started this thread and I am satisfied now that my issue is a result of a glitch. However, we ran into another issue in the printed list of guests on our last Ovation cruise.

 

My name had been listed as (an example) Lisa Smith Jones. Smith is my family name before marriage. In the guest list, I was listed as Mrs. Lisa Smith-Jones and alphabetized with the Ss.

 

My husband's name as (an example) John Martin Jones. HE was listed in the guest list as John Martin-Jones--under the Ms.

 

We both have the (example) last name Jones and should have both been alphabetized under the Js.

so they hyphenated both - which is unusual enough - and went with the first half of the hyphenated name....

in belgium they used to insist that children take the fathers name if known...in 2006/2005 case was taken by a spanish belgian couple as spanish tradition would be mothers name and fathers name.( belgium had a lot of weird laws like this- after living their for some time....)

this became eu law.- and belgium changed it's legislation.....so changing people's names in many cultures is insulting to their culture and companies should use the name customers have given....not changed/ shortened etc....

I wonder if these errors are being done because of information that people’s TA’s are giving Seabourn. I do all the travel planning myself and my husband comes along for the ride, plus I don’t use a travel agent, so Seabourn gets all their information directly from me. I have never been called by my husband’s name in any of our three Seabourn cruises (we have different last names), and on our most recent cruise I noted that all written correspondence to us has my name first on the cards/letters. Now the order could be because I go by Dr Jones and he goes by Mr Smith, and their programming may state that Dr goes before Mr, but they also seemed to not be thrown off by it when greeting us.

The only time Seabourn staff got confused and thought we had the same name is on our first cruise when we were on our honeymoon. I think they assumed that we would go by the same name since we wouldn’t have had time to update our travel documents with our recent marriage. The funny thing is that because I did the travel arrangements, they thought we were Mr and Dr Jones (my name) rather than Mr and Dr Smith (his name). He never corrected them the entire time because he was really amused at getting called Mr Jones by everyone!

I wonder if these errors are being done because of information that people’s TA’s are giving Seabourn. I do all the travel planning myself and my husband comes along for the ride, plus I don’t use a travel agent, so Seabourn gets all their information directly from me. I have never been called by my husband’s name in any of our three Seabourn cruises (we have different last names), and on our most recent cruise I noted that all written correspondence to us has my name first on the cards/letters. Now the order could be because I go by Dr Jones and he goes by Mr Smith, and their programming may state that Dr goes before Mr, but they also seemed to not be thrown off by it when greeting us.

 

The only time Seabourn staff got confused and thought we had the same name is on our first cruise when we were on our honeymoon. I think they assumed that we would go by the same name since we wouldn’t have had time to update our travel documents with our recent marriage. The funny thing is that because I did the travel arrangements, they thought we were Mr and Dr Jones (my name) rather than Mr and Dr Smith (his name). He never corrected them the entire time because he was really amused at getting called Mr Jones by everyone!

i can see your husband being entertained and mine was too....but then thats maybe because it doesn't happen too frequently .....when it happens more often than not ...less entertaining

but we never use a TA and in fact most documents/booking systems you never announce your relationship to the other person.....names of travellers are requested....so no reason to assume married....

another gentleman was on here saying when travelling with his husband... people would ask where their wives were......

so just seems part of a culture thats very narrow minded....we all need to fit into an 1920's narrow minded box ....

i can see your husband being entertained and mine was too....but then thats maybe because it doesn't happen too frequently .....when it happens more often than not ...less entertaining

 

but we never use a TA and in fact most documents/booking systems you never announce your relationship to the other person.....names of travellers are requested....so no reason to assume married....

 

another gentleman was on here saying when travelling with his husband... people would ask where their wives were......

 

so just seems part of a culture thats very narrow minded....we all need to fit into an 1920's narrow minded box ....

Oh I totally agree that the reason he was entertained was because it doesn’t happen often. The two of us have had multiple discussions about how it’s funny when his name gets changed by accident but extremely irritating when mine gets changed (even my own family tries to call me by his name because they are upset that I never changed my name).

But the only time that I noticed Seabourn staff try to call us by the same last name was the one trip I specifically told them we were celebrating a special occasion (in the special occasion comments section when we booked we stated that we were going on a honeymoon). The other two cruises the staff all called us by our correct names.

I was wondering if some of the errors were because of TA issues because some of the name problems other people were noticing (hyphenating names that shouldn’t be hyphenated for example, or selecting a different person as the main contact person of the group). As far as the underlying culture of Seabourn being chauvinistic, I have not noticed any of the things described (from the staff at least) and I usually am very sensitive to this issue.

Oh I totally agree that the reason he was entertained was because it doesn’t happen often. The two of us have had multiple discussions about how it’s funny when his name gets changed by accident but extremely irritating when mine gets changed (even my own family tries to call me by his name because they are upset that I never changed my name).

 

But the only time that I noticed Seabourn staff try to call us by the same last name was the one trip I specifically told them we were celebrating a special occasion (in the special occasion comments section when we booked we stated that we were going on a honeymoon). The other two cruises the staff all called us by our correct names.

 

I was wondering if some of the errors were because of TA issues because some of the name problems other people were noticing (hyphenating names that shouldn’t be hyphenated for example, or selecting a different person as the main contact person of the group). As far as the underlying culture of Seabourn being chauvinistic, I have not noticed any of the things described (from the staff at least) and I usually am very sensitive to this issue.

the funny thing is i am perfectly happy for staff - especially when they are so many people and changing every 2 weeks- not to know my name hello sir/ madam i think is fine.... its when they try and make me a mrs.....making up a name for me...i find it annoying...

but people seem to be saying seabourn is better than usual on this......so high hopes....

apologies SLSD - took your thread on a MR's tagent....

I have not noticed this as an issue at all. I’ve traveled on Seabourn alone, with friends, with family, and with my partner.

In my experience, both of us have always gotten the post-cruuse survey and invitations were addressed to both. My partner did get called by my last name a couple of times (and me by his) but we are used to this and don’t generally care unless it is important somehow that they have our names right.

My only funny mangling of relationships occurred when I was traveling with my mom and one night they did the full-on romantic room turndown with our single beds. Rose petals everywhere, heart shaped arrangement, the battery-operated flicker candles, love songs playing. We chalked it up to getting the wrong room until the suite stewardess asked us the next day how we liked it. 😳

I have not noticed this as an issue at all. I’ve traveled on Seabourn alone, with friends, with family, and with my partner.

 

In my experience, both of us have always gotten the post-cruuse survey and invitations were addressed to both. My partner did get called by my last name a couple of times (and me by his) but we are used to this and don’t generally care unless it is important somehow that they have our names right.

 

My only funny mangling of relationships occurred when I was traveling with my mom and one night they did the full-on romantic room turndown with our single beds. Rose petals everywhere, heart shaped arrangement, the battery-operated flicker candles, love songs playing. We chalked it up to getting the wrong room until the suite stewardess asked us the next day how we liked it. 😳

i think that turn down sounds very forward thinking of them.....like you were going to have your glass of champagne or whatever and then get into your singles beds....very doris day....

funny that some staff would go the other way and assume all people together are a couple....it's like they trained for the Arc.......

i do remember - on celebrity standing at the bar ordering and the man next to me who was waiting for his card back...getting a very rude waiter - he asked for his card as they hadn't given it back- and the rude waiter starts shouting he had given it to his wife and the man said no- his wife wasn't there - and the waiter starts shouting he gave it to me....( which he hadn't) and when the man told him i wasn't his wife.....the waiter shouts - of course she is :rolleyes: he kept shouting at the man that's your wife - and then his colleague found the man's card.

talk about american politician's not being able to have dinner with a woman....the waiter here married us off for standing together...

They can call me anything they want. I'm sailing Seabourn so I don't care. I'm on the ship! Yahoo!

Once got a letter from the IRS that I hadn't filed my taxes. Seems my W-2 from my employer had my professional name, whilst my husband and I filed jointly as Mr and Mrs His Name. No biggie.

They can call me anything they want. I'm sailing Seabourn so I don't care. I'm on the ship! Yahoo!

 

Once got a letter from the IRS that I hadn't filed my taxes. Seems my W-2 from my employer had my professional name, whilst my husband and I filed jointly as Mr and Mrs His Name. No biggie.

oh absolutely each to their own.....but i don't have a married name in any context ....work or personal....so think it's rude of companies to make one up for me....because they have a limited cultural viewpoint...

in context...if my name was in a language too difficult for them... is not acceptable for to make up a name for me .... as culturally the company believes it should be that way......no problem not using any name....but don't make one up cause your company have a narrow mind on certain matters....

the people who say they don't notice sexism/ racism ...........are usually the worst offenders

Oh dear ..... (I think that is a generalization)

Oh dear ..... (I think that is a generalization)

well unless you've met every single person in the world - everything is a generalisation to some degree.

it is an observation based on my experience - a bit like the noisy neighbours who say they never hear anything.... cause they ARE the ones making the noise....

people who say theres no .xxxxx-ism in our company - but all the staff look very similar and there is an easy profile for management vs junior roles...

people who benefit from sexism and racism etc ...usually do not see any problems as they are benefitting....directly/indirectly ......so ARE the worst offenders..

1. You are not alone in your experience, SLSD, though I doubt SB as a company has a chauvinistic policy. I book all our cruises, deal with the TA, pay on my solo credit card, and do the surveys and evaluations. But for the first couple years on SB all correspondence and emails were addressed to DH . It could have been chauvinism by someone who did the data entry, rather than SB’s policy, but it was not important enough to waste my limited time complaining about it.

As I get older, I am more likely to attribute such things to old habits, computer glitches, or minor incompetence than malevolence, nastiness, and sexist scheming. Also note SB is now run out of ultraliberal Seattle.

I like the old saying that when you hear the galloping of hooves, it is more likely a horse than a zebra. When I was young, starting out in what was a male dominated and often overtly sexist profession, I had different opinions because things were indeed very different. They have changed a lot, even if things are not perfect. How much, is a topic best reserved for a non-CC thread, however.

Lately stuff has shown up in both names from SB, don’t know why it changed.

2. Where I do get irritated at times is with a few on-board lower level male crew on cruises, who try to patronizingly make stuff up about what is wrong with something so they can get out of work, pretending all is fine instead of fixing it. When I travel solo, or with another woman, I often get lip, even from male staff in luxury hotels, as they seem to assume they can snow me with nonsensical made-up technical gobbledygook. When I am with DH such men, who come from different cultures than feminism focussed America and western Europe, seem to be more polite and respectful and just do the repair. It is not because DH is more assertive than I am as he is not, he lets me do the talking. It is easier to get things that go wrong dealt with in a timely manner if traveling with DH, or any man, even if my 90-year-old friend, than without, in my experience.

3. DH has been called Mr. Catlover54 and I have been called Mrs. DH. We both agree waiters can call us by any name, even Mr, and Mrs. Doglover54, (!) as long as we get our wine refilled without having to wait a half hour. :)

1. You are not alone in your experience, SLSD, though I doubt SB as a company has a chauvinistic policy. I book all our cruises, deal with the TA, pay on my solo credit card, and do the surveys and evaluations. But for the first couple years on SB all correspondence and emails were addressed to DH . It could have been chauvinism by someone who did the data entry, rather than SB’s policy, but it was not important enough to waste my limited time complaining about it.

As I get older, I am more likely to attribute such things to old habits, computer glitches, or minor incompetence than malevolence, nastiness, and sexist scheming. Also note SB is now run out of ultraliberal Seattle.

 

I like the old saying that when you hear the galloping of hooves, it is more likely a horse than a zebra. When I was young, starting out in what was a male dominated and often overtly sexist profession, I had different opinions because things were indeed very different. They have changed a lot, even if things are not perfect. How much, is a topic best reserved for a non-CC thread, however.

 

Lately stuff has shown up in both names from SB, don’t know why it changed.

 

2. Where I do get irritated at times is with a few on-board lower level male crew on cruises, who try to patronizingly make stuff up about what is wrong with something so they can get out of work, pretending all is fine instead of fixing it. When I travel solo, or with another woman, I often get lip, even from male staff in luxury hotels, as they seem to assume they can snow me with nonsensical made-up technical gobbledygook. When I am with DH such men, who come from different cultures than feminism focussed America and western Europe, seem to be more polite and respectful and just do the repair. It is not because DH is more assertive than I am as he is not, he lets me do the talking. It is easier to get things that go wrong dealt with in a timely manner if traveling with DH, or any man, even if my 90-year-old friend, than without, in my experience.

 

3. DH has been called Mr. Catlover54 and I have been called Mrs. DH. We both agree waiters can call us by any name, even Mr, and Mrs. Doglover54, (!) as long as we get our wine refilled without having to wait a half hour. :)

i would wear the title of ms. doglover/catlover with pride - but the hospitality doesn't give me that option. :)

Good morning, I have yet to sail Seabourn but I am a solo person.....no mate, partner, etc......for the past couple of years I continue to receive mailings from several cruise lines (some I have never sailed with)…….and although I am female, somehow, someone, somewhere decided to change my gender and my name on these mailings:eek:

My name is Lois...…..the brochures ALL say MR LEONARD but they do spell my last name correctly...

I have never really thought the brochures were trying to be chauvinistic.….just some stupid person or computer deciding to key in something totally wrong:mad:

And I have called each of the cruise lines who have been doing this and told them to just take me off their mailing lists…….waiting to see if this will happen on a permanent basis.

Good morning, I have yet to sail Seabourn but I am a solo person.....no mate, partner, etc......for the past couple of years I continue to receive mailings from several cruise lines (some I have never sailed with)…….and although I am female, somehow, someone, somewhere decided to change my gender and my name on these mailings:eek:

My name is Lois...…..the brochures ALL say MR LEONARD but they do spell my last name correctly...

 

I have never really thought the brochures were trying to be chauvinistic.….just some stupid person or computer deciding to key in something totally wrong:mad:

 

And I have called each of the cruise lines who have been doing this and told them to just take me off their mailing lists…….waiting to see if this will happen on a permanent basis.

You (and the fictitious Mr Leonard) got on a mailing list(s) that has been sold several times. Even if an individual line updates it, it will not change the original. It may even be bought by the same lines again. So, recycle...

The only thing that will change it is when you finally book with a line. Then you will get mailings in your own name, but Mr Leonard may still be getting mail at your home!

All of the cruise lines that I've been on (all premium or luxury), have been like that. I am the female half of a regular married couple, and I have always made all the bookings and payments myself. But the tickets mailings, etc., always come in my husband's name. Even our rebate cheques. In the last couple of years I've noticed we both get brochure mailings, since we do each have a distinct 'personna' on at least two lines, but still.

It used to infuriate me, now I just shake my head. They have managed to get it right, I believe, for gay couples.

You (and the fictitious Mr Leonard) got on a mailing list(s) that has been sold several times. Even if an individual line updates it, it will not change the original. It may even be bought by the same lines again. So, recycle...

 

The only thing that will change it is when you finally book with a line. Then you will get mailings in your own name, but Mr Leonard may still be getting mail at your home!

I figured as much.

I have NEVER gotten my own survey and so I don't see this as a planted review. My husband does none of the planning or interface for the cruise, but yet he gets all the communications from SB when they do have my email address as well. Perhaps they think its a generational thing?

I’ve been on two Oceania cruises and the moment we board, I become an appendage to my male traveling companion.

In everything from corporate, I am passenger 1 in their database, because I booked both cruises. (This is how it is actually labeled in their online booking system.)

Prior to the cruise, my name is first in any joint communication. Emails and calls come to me.

Onboard, I am always listed after my male suitemate, if I exist at all. (Some things come addressed solely to the man.) Offboard, if there is any follow-up, I’m back to being an equal.

What gets me about this is that they clearly didn’t just import the data to the onboard system. Somebody went to the trouble of either manually moving the female name after the male, or set up the system to do so. Would they swap names around if it were MF, MM, or FF? I doubt it...

I was not impressed.

Recently we became Gold Loyalty Club Members we are happy to reach

this milestone.

However Panda ( male/ husband) is totally miffed as I, Koala (female) have received my new Gold Loyalty card and he has not. Mind you the card is rarely required but nice to be recognised. It is not a big deal but topical.

Recently we became Gold Loyalty Club Members we are happy to reach

this milestone.

 

However Panda ( male/ husband) is totally miffed as I, Koala (female) have received my new Gold Loyalty card and he has not. Mind you the card is rarely required but nice to be recognised. It is not a big deal but topical.

At least Seabourn is consistent with us, neither of us have ever received a loyalty card (and we're Diamond):rolleyes:

I am a male married to a male. I plan , book and pay for all of our cruises. Yet, everything we get is addressed to him. I have never gotten one mailer. Even onboard, he is listed first on any mailers we get. So, I can assure everyone that Seabourn is not chauvinistic lol

Michael