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When do you let kids explore the boat or stay in the room on their own?


ladyjade3
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I LOVE how adults/parents apply grown up decision making skills to TINY little children with undeveloped, inexperienced, uneducated (in life skills) minds! You can NOT EXPECT a child of 7, 9, 12, 15, etc. to make the 'right', grown up, adult, mature decisions! It is NO WONDER children are snatched so easily. It's heart breaking and sad. If you want a vacation away from your kids .... leave the kids home.

Last time I was in Norway, the student-age guide told us about the education system. Out in the sticks, the nearest high school might by 60 miles away - so the children stop in a flat for the school terms. Not a boarding house, a flat. They do their own cleaning and they feed themselves. They make grown-up decisions.

 

British and American children aren't less capable, just less accustomed to having to make a decision. There is a school of thought that you don't let a child let go of mother's hand until the day he or she leaves for college; whether this creates college students who don't make bad decisions, I have my doubts.

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I LOVE how adults/parents apply grown up decision making skills to TINY little children with undeveloped, inexperienced, uneducated (in life skills) minds! You can NOT EXPECT a child of 7, 9, 12, 15, etc. to make the 'right', grown up, adult, mature decisions! It is NO WONDER children are snatched so easily. It's heart breaking and sad. If you want a vacation away from your kids .... leave the kids home.

I pray you don’t have children, parent is a verb, with a lot of the job being a teacher, with an end goal of putting yourself out of a job in 18 or so years. You don’t grasp the rope, and then shove them out of the nest. There is a reason the term helicopter parent came to be.

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I pray you don’t have children, parent is a verb, with a lot of the job being a teacher, with an end goal of putting yourself out of a job in 18 or so years. You don’t grasp the rope, and then shove them out of the nest. There is a reason the term helicopter parent came to be.

 

Yes, it is good to teach your children and raise them to take care of themselves. But NOT at age 7 and 9! OMG people .... a person can NOT legally sign a contract until they are 18, again NOT 7 & 9 yrs. old. AND IF something happens to these kids ... the parents will be held responsible and charged with child neglect. THAT's reality.

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We brought our 6 yo granddaughter on a cruise this past summer. She made some friends at Splash Academy and at one point came over and wanted her to go with them to walk around, go up the elevator etc (they were 6 and 8). This was a definite no and she had a fit. When she calmed down we explained to her our reasons. These are 4000 plus STRANGERS and it only takes 1.

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I LOVE how adults/parents apply grown up decision making skills to TINY little children with undeveloped, inexperienced, uneducated (in life skills) minds! You can NOT EXPECT a child of 7, 9, 12, 15, etc. to make the 'right', grown up, adult, mature decisions! It is NO WONDER children are snatched so easily. It's heart breaking and sad. If you want a vacation away from your kids .... leave the kids home.

I'm sorry but the majority of child kidnapping are done by relatives during custody disputes, not strangers, that's why if a single parent is travelling with their child they have to prove they are allowed to do so.

As for abuse of children the majority of cases are by know adults to parents (family members, family friends and people who have authority over your child) not strangers. You are more likely to bring your child's abuser on holiday with you then to come to harm by a stranger.

 

The truth is that a 7 y.o. in the western world is the safest they've ever been in the whole of history.

 

The OP is not talking about toddlers but 9/10 y.o.

 

I wouldn't let an under 10 go roaming as they have poor judgement when it comes to personal safety. I remember my sister and I when we were kids used to climb on top of the wardrobe and jump on to the bed😲😲😲

 

If ten to 8 year old wanted to go to the buffet for a snack or wanted to play crazy golf. I would allow that. A time limit and then come back to me. I wouldn't allow them to use pools etc with out me there or roaming without purpose.

 

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Our next cruise is in a few weeks. My kids will be newly 11 and newly 13 plus almost 15, 17 and the other 4 are already adults (20-25). The 11yo is a sweet and trusting boy. I have decided to allow him short trips on his own this cruise. Example ... we are watching a dive in movie together and he may go out of site briefly to make an ice cream cone. Truth is he will probably do this multiple times and deliver an icecream to each of us. The last time he sailed was for his 9th birthday and he had to be either signed into camp or with siblings, if he wasnt with his parents. He has been doing such things here on land for a couple years, in increments. My almost 13yo son is a different personality, not immediately trusting and very savvy for his age. I am OK with him making a trip to the cabin and back, say from the dining room. I would still pay careful attention to the time and follow up if it was a little too long. My 13 and 15yos could have more freedom if they were together because the combo of thier relationship and indivual strengths and weaknesses balances nicely. They would neither run into trouble, nor make any . They cooperate on decisions fairly well. My 15yo and 17yo girls are both required to travel with a buddy and truth is that I request that my 23yo and 25yo girls don't do much solo either . Think Walmart parkinglot at night. Better with a buddy, but if you must go it alone, be alert. The good news is that my kids get along well and have fun together, so its easy to have a buddy. Including new friends is encouraged but the buddy rules dont include new friends. Its got to be a sibling or a friend from home that we traveled with. We ban cabin corridor travel and cabin visiting/visitors. We also stress that our minors not even be near any adult only venues. We operate by the statement "Nothing good happens after midnight" both at home and on vacation, so thats a given that our kids dont even think twice about. No matter how old our kids get, we always have the same talk on our drive to the port. No climbing on anything but stairs, no unattended beverages, no accepting beverages from anyone other than family etc...

 

Cruising with kids is different than cruising as a couple, and you are still parenting the whole week. Working out a plan using your kids strengths and weaknesses as your guide ahead of time puts you both in a position to enjoy your cruise and keep everyone as safe as possible. When you have well thought out plan which your kids understand, kids are safer , parents are more relaxed and everyone has more fun.

 

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How on earth do modern children even get to school? When I was 10, I went to school 15 miles from home and went there on the train. And I spoke to all the passengers on it while getting signatures for a petition to stop the train being cancelled. (I was 11 by then.) Do children really get to double figures without ever having the chance to make a decision - not even whether or not it's safe to cross the road?

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How on earth do modern children even get to school? When I was 10, I went to school 15 miles from home and went there on the train. And I spoke to all the passengers on it while getting signatures for a petition to stop the train being cancelled. (I was 11 by then.) Do children really get to double figures without ever having the chance to make a decision - not even whether or not it's safe to cross the road?
I can only speak for my own children who are very outgoing and both experienced an comfortable with interacting with people of all kinds. My children are homeschooled for various reasons, one being that we can foster a higher level of independence by teaching them at home. It sounds like nonsense, but if you give it some genuine consideration, you can see why it works. Anyway, what most parents in the US have going against them today is both fear and societal expectations. I am sure that even my youngest child, armed with the info he needs, is capable of traveling by train to another city. Odds are that if we did this, my 11yo would be turned in as a lost child and I would be prosecuted. Odds are even higher in his case because he appears younger than he is. Between fear of the system and the fear instilled by media hype, what is a parent to do ? The same dilemma comes into play with discipline. Society doesnt want any part of an unruly, undiscplined child yet they are the first to dial the 1800 when they see a child being disciplined.

 

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I am sure that even my youngest child, armed with the info he needs, is capable of traveling by train to another city. Odds are that if we did this, my 11yo would be turned in as a lost child and I would be prosecuted. Odds are even higher in his case because he appears younger than he is. Between fear of the system and the fear instilled by media hype, what is a parent to do ?

Seriously, has the USA come to that? If an 11 year old child walks into school without an adult, the parents might be arrested? I've heard of a head teacher who threatened to report parents in the UK to social services for letting a six year old walk alone to school; but never at 11 years old. It's insane,

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Seriously, has the USA come to that? If an 11 year old child walks into school without an adult, the parents might be arrested? I've heard of a head teacher who threatened to report parents in the UK to social services for letting a six year old walk alone to school; but never at 11 years old. It's insane,
I dont think an 11yo is banned from walking to school anywhere in the US, but kids never have far to walk.

 

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Seriously, has the USA come to that? If an 11 year old child walks into school without an adult, the parents might be arrested? I've heard of a head teacher who threatened to report parents in the UK to social services for letting a six year old walk alone to school; but never at 11 years old. It's insane,

My kids started walking to school at 8. I live in a walking town (sidewalks, elementary schools all under a mile, middle and high school under 2 miles, no school buses). Elementary students and high school lunch are allowed out for lunch.

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Seriously, has the USA come to that? If an 11 year old child walks into school without an adult, the parents might be arrested? I've heard of a head teacher who threatened to report parents in the UK to social services for letting a six year old walk alone to school; but never at 11 years old. It's insane,

 

The OP said her 11 yr. old 'could' get on a train and travel to a different city! NOT walk to school and enter alone. I think there's a big difference. Yes, I think if a police officer saw this 11 yr. old, who by OP's own opinion, looks much younger, would pick him up and call parents at the very least as a lost child.

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The OP said her 11 yr. old 'could' get on a train and travel to a different city! NOT walk to school and enter alone. I think there's a big difference. Yes, I think if a police officer saw this 11 yr. old, who by OP's own opinion, looks much younger, would pick him up and call parents at the very least as a lost child.

So at what age can a child travel by train without risk of police intervention? 13? 15? 17? 21?

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As you can see this is a personal decision with multiple points of views. I remember as a kid living in a major city walking miles to the grocery store to get stuff we needed without a thought. Times have changed but I agree with giving my kids a little freedom. My 8 year old triplets won’t go out of my sight but my 10 year old son is allowed more freedom to check himself out of the kids camp to get a ice cream cone and meet us by the pool or go back to camp. I think it’s important to teach your kids what not to do (like don’t access your room with an adult in the corridor near your room. I personally won’t allow my son to roam the ship but like others stated if they check in they can go from point a to point b and check in at all times. Mainly my kids are attached to me at all time, they are very sticky with their Mom! It’s my job to prepare them for reality and teach them street smarts!

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So at what age can a child travel by train without risk of police intervention? 13? 15? 17? 21?

We live outside NYC, kids there in elementary school take public transportation to school. The youngest I’ve allowed my kids to take a bus or train in and out of Manhattan is 14. Bus is trickier because Port Authority is huge.

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This is a great idea! Ours are too young right now, but will keeping this on the back-burner for when we feel it's appropriate. Thank you :)

 

My daughter was given privileges to sign herself in and out of the kids club when she was 9. Before we sailed, I drew up a contract with specific conditions for her to follow in order to keep this privilege. One of the biggest points was that she could not go down any cabin-only decks. She always had to walk across the public decks, then take the elevator or stairs that landed her right next to our cabin. She had to prove to me she could get from our cabin and back by herself on the very first day. She also had to notify us where she was going before she left the cabin or the club, and then go straight to her destination (with quick a stop for ice cream while in route, if she wanted.) She loved having this privilege, and one day, hubby and I secretly followed her, just to check up on and also for a little entertainment of our own. (Had to make sure we weren’t spotted in the stairwells!) She did exactly as she was supposed to, and you could tell she felt liberated being “on her own” for the journey. Still, she spent most of the week hanging out with us, rather than roaming the ship. She just liked knowing she could go if she on her own wanted to.

She will be 12 on our next cruise, and the sign in/sign out for the kids club at that age is way more lax. So I’ve drawn up a new contract for her, that includes checking in with us before she leaves any area, and after she gets there. The other rules about cabin-only decks and navigating the first day still apply, but I’ve added a few more stipulations, like not accepting any drinks from anyone other than her parents or crew members.

 

 

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What I find is interested in this issue is. No one has brought up facts. As a consumer , we are all vulnerable at any age look up the assault records , per year and for each cruise line. They have to report these facts. Most sexual assaults are by perpetrated by other passengers. Cameras can’t be everywhere. Make sure your kids are always aware of that. The perpetrators are aware of that. In Europe, children are given more freedom, but publicly there are more cameras, literally everywhere. Just a thought

 

 

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We live outside NYC, kids there in elementary school take public transportation to school. The youngest I’ve allowed my kids to take a bus or train in and out of Manhattan is 14. Bus is trickier because Port Authority is huge.

 

 

 

I grew up in NYC and took the bus starting at 13 and rode the subway at 14 by myself. When I was with friends, we used to take the bus to the mall or to each other’s houses. It was no big deal and I did have to call my mom when I got there.

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How on earth do modern children even get to school? When I was 10, I went to school 15 miles from home and went there on the train. And I spoke to all the passengers on it while getting signatures for a petition to stop the train being cancelled. (I was 11 by then.) Do children really get to double figures without ever having the chance to make a decision - not even whether or not it's safe to cross the road?

 

Having grown up in the U.K and now live in the USA I will say culturally it is very different. I too walked and took buses to school Starting in middle school (9yrs). Here there is no public transportation or school bus system so we drive our child to school and pick her up and drive her to after school activities. The world of today is not the one I grew up in, freedom is very little due to circumstance and the prevalence of crime.

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Having grown up in the U.K and now live in the USA I will say culturally it is very different. I too walked and took buses to school Starting in middle school (9yrs). Here there is no public transportation or school bus system so we drive our child to school and pick her up and drive her to after school activities. The world of today is not the one I grew up in, freedom is very little due to circumstance and the prevalence of crime.

You do realize that crime is much lower than when you grew up, the world is much safer. Because of 24 hour news and internet, you perceive it to be less safe. I walked onand from school alone at age 5, 3/4 of a mile each way, in the 70’s.

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  • 3 months later...

My 13 year old is allowed to walk around our town on his own, which has a population greater than that on a cruise, my 9 year is not yet, though she’s allowed to walk home from school every day with her friend. They are both allowed to stay at home alone under different circumstances..in restaurants and such they are both allowed to go the bathroom by themselves. so I figure I’ll follow similar rules on the ship. My 9 yo just does quite have the level of caution as the 13 year old, so she has not been allowed to do things at the same age.

Edited by KittyloverCA
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So at what age can a child travel by train without risk of police intervention? 13? 15? 17? 21?

 

In that vein, I recently discovered that many airlines now won't allow unaccompanied minors until age 16. We used to fly down alone to spend the summers with our grandparents starting at age 10. I can't afford to just fly down with him and right back again!

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