First time cruiser any advice appreciated

Hi everybody I've recently joined the community and I'm trying to find as much helpful information as possible. I have sort of been freaking out a little bit about a cruise in a few months to the point of wanting to call the whole thing off, but I know that it will really upset my family and so I'm trying to be a good sport. If anyone has some good advice maybe on what I can expect or tips for traveling with small kids I'd appreciate it immensely.

So my inlaws planned a trip that they've wanted to do for like a lifetime. They are celebrating my father-in-laws retirement and taking the family (paying for a lot, but not all) on a Mediterranean cruise out of Barcelona in July.

So I'm 29 and a single dad now. At the time of sailing in July my 4 children will be 6, 4, 3, and 13 months. I've never taken a trip alone with all 4, none of us have been on a cruise and this is my first attempt at even flying with them. On the cruise itself it is my inlaws, their 2 other daughters and their respective spouses and they each have 2 kids between ages 15-10. I know they all have been planning excursions and are all excited for this big trip and I'm worried that me with all for little ones is just going to be really hard and I don't want to be detracting from the others vacation with help with my ones.

So has anyone sailed as a single parent and have any tips on how I can best survive a cruise ship with them all? Any tips on activities or really any travel advice in general. I'm sorry that this maybe is all over the place. I just don't know if it's realistic for me to attempt this. I'm just trying to go along with it to help my inlaws out because they wanted the family together.

i'm hoping other people will come into this post and offer advice...

there are a lot of experienced cruisers on this board...

are you flying with your in-laws, or alone?

are you flying in from the USA to Barcelona?

do you have your transfers from the airport to the port arranged? that is, have your inlaws arranged all those little details like that?

if you're flying alone, and even if you're not flying alone - with 4 very young children, i would notify the airline that you're going to need assistance in the airports...

i know delta provides help, and i would think other airlines do as well..

they'll help you get the baby on board and all your stuff that you have to take on the plane with you...

but if it were me, i would try to fly with the other families so that you have help..

especially if you're coming from the USA to barcelona..

i've flown across the atlantic a zillion times, including with babies and toddlers, but the thought of attempting that on my own with 4 children under the age of 6, gives me the willies....

that's assuming we're talking about getting to barcelona from the US...

actually, after thinking about it a bit more, though i don't want to sound negative...

personally, if i were you, i wouldn't take this trip...

unless the inlaws fly with you and agree to take complete responsibility for at least two of the kids, i can't see this turning out pleasant for you in any way...

but maybe i'm being too negative?

i hope some others on this board will join in here..

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You'll be totally fine on the cruise.

The flight will be tough though. I'd go for one that flies while they're sleeping, and go ahead and let them knock themselves out on electronics. Bring snacks and brand new small toys and coloring books and stuff.

actually, after thinking about it a bit more, though i don't want to sound negative...

 

 

 

personally, if i were you, i wouldn't take this trip...

 

 

 

unless the inlaws fly with you and agree to take complete responsibility for at least two of the kids, i can't see this turning out pleasant for you in any way...

 

 

 

but maybe i'm being too negative?

 

 

 

i hope some others on this board will join in here..

 

 

 

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Thanks for honest advice. I don't think you are being too negative. Honestly I feel like this will be a vacation for anyone but me now that I'm going to be the only adult for my immediate family.

The plan was for me to fly from the US to Barcelona, but now my inlaws have changed their flight so I have to get the kids and me from the D.C. Area to NY to meet their flight. So for the big international flight I would have 2 extra adults.

I expressed that I was stressed by the whole trip and considering canceling and my inlaws, more my mother in law, have guilted me a little that they want the whole family there, want to be in the kids lives especially now that their daughter, my wife, is no longer with us. I get how they feel and They say they will help and do this and that but then some of the excursions they've discussed I'm like yeah because my 4 little girls can handle that. I don't want to ruin things for them, but I don't feel like maybe they understand how hard it is having 4 little kids so normal even at home and I think I hope it isn't a disaster. I guess I need to more clearly talk to them about how much I may need them to really help and follow through with that promise.

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Having 2 extra adults will make a huge difference on the flight. The DC to NY flight is only about 1.5 hours so not bad at all.

This sounds good. Yes, I agree more communication on how hard it will be with just you and 4 little kids is needed. Then, them seeing how hard it is in person should be helpful to you later on as well. The flight should be an eye opener for them. :) They can always adjust the excursions once on the trip if the flight to Barcelona opens their eyes. You might get more help out of them after this trip once they see how hard 4 kids is for them, let alone a single person.

I've done the single parent bit forever. Yes, as you know, it has stresses. There are ways to make it easy.

I don't know what your in laws have booked or what they are paying for. I would strongly recommend flying in a day before the cruise. Of course this means that you have to house and feed the crew for that extra day, but it also means that you'll be relieved of a lot of the "what if" stress. The easiest, but also most costly way to handle things is thru DCL. Let them book a seriously overpriced hotel for you and use their transportation to the port. If you are arriving in Barcelona on the day of the cruise, definitely do DCL transportation. It isn't quite as easy as Florida, but still pretty simple.

You have to claim the bags and go thru immigration (if you don't all have passports, get on that now). Then, if using DCL transportation, you hand them your checked bags and you are good to go--you'll see the bags on the ship.

If you are staying at a non-DCL hotel, I'd recommend that Tryp Aeropuerto (or similar spelling). They have a complimentary shuttle to the hotel and will arrange a paid shuttle to the port. I'm guessing that you have no interest in taking 4 kids out to see the city. We had pizza delivered to the hotel for dinner. Easy. Your other alternative in the morning is to take their free shuttle back to the airport and catch the DCL shuttle to the ship, but why?

You'll be fine once you are on the ship. I have no idea what sort of cabin arrangements the in laws made for you, so won't comment on that. The ship makes life easy. Your cabin steward will have a pack and play crib in the room for the baby as well as a diaper genie which he will empty twice a day. Babysitting in the nursery for kids under 3 is $9 per hour. You can pre-book time on line or wait till you are on board. The programming for ages 3 and up is included in the cruise fare. Mine went thru various stages of loving and hating the programming, but yours are all at the age where she loved it. They can spend as much or as little time there as you'd like--the programming is open till midnight on most nights and the kids can fall asleep watching videos at night. Of course you will need to claim them and take them back to the room.

Packing...get a bunch of one gallon zip lock type bags. Place a complete outfit, including socks and underwear in each bag. That way, "choosing" clothes is easy--each kid gets a bag each morning. When they undress, decide what is dirty and toss it in the laundry location you designate; if something can be worn again, have a drawer for it. I would pack one bag for child for each day of the trip. Of course you'll also need PJs, swimsuits, etc. but the bag system made mornings easy. There is self serve laundry on the ship if you decide you need to do some, you can also send it to be done (which gets pricey).

I honestly would not plan excursions. I love the Med, I love the things we did, but I honestly can't see dragging 4 kids. Let the others go; you stay on the empy ship and enjoy it. Kid programming IS available on port days and you can leave them on the ship while you go off if that fits with your definition of parenting.

This wouldn't be the cruise I would choose with 4 young kids, but that's obviously not your choice. It will work and it can be a lot easier than you fear....all except for the flight. There are easier and more difficult ways to do most things--choose easy, even when it costs more!

i honestly cannot believe what other people have posted here...

do any of you have 4 children under the age of 6 ????????????????????????

thats frigging young even if there are two parents available...

i'm sorry, but i can't in good faith recommend this trip....

let your inlaws bring themselves to wherever it is you live and spend time with your kids..

it's not all about your inlaws......they seem to be terribly self-centered if they're guilting you over this trip..

you have enough on your plate just getting through a regular day in your life..

just say no...

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I thought about asking if there was any way that the baby could be left at home with someone....but thought grandma would probably not like that at all.

My take was that it didn't sound like you felt that you had a choice and the post was about how to make the trip as easy as possible. Again, I posted that this was not a cruise I would recommend with 4 young kids.

If you do have a choice--stay home! This will be work for you, especially the "in transit" days. Do a cruise out of Florida or New York. But if you really feel that you can't refuse to go, know that the ship part will be far easier than the travel days.

6 hours of occupying little kids on a plane is not fun. Can you assign each kid to one of the teens? Or is that interfering with their fun? Grandma needs to understand how much she is going to need to help on this trip. Honestly, I think they'd enjoy the trip more with just the older kids!

I cannot contribute to this at all, but I just wanted to say, sorry for your loss. 29 is way too young and I feel for the children for the loss of their mother.

I am not sure what the rule is on which airlines you will be flying, but most airline rows have 3 seats and 4 oxygen masks, and one will be an infant in arms for a long 9 hour flight. Even if you have an infant on your lap, and two girls in the seats that is all 3 seats. That leaves a child of 6 alone even if it is across from you. Some seats have 3 O2 masks on certain planes in certain rows so you will have to arrange all of this with the airline and have it very precise. Perhaps you can take a flight which has the 5 seats across? There have been some interesting suggestions here, I don't have children so I have no idea how it would be to be responsible for so many little ones. But perhaps a nanny would help. If the in-laws want you there badly then perhaps they will have no problem understanding the difficulties and will be fine with hiring a nanny to help. Just my opinion but the teens will likely not want little ones encroaching on their vacation. They are teenagers after all. I hope you can figure out a way for everyone but mostly you and your girls to try and have the best trip possible, if you have to take the trip.

Firstly, so sorry for your loss.

Next, how much are you paying for? You don't need to tell us the amount, but if this trip ends up as hard as you think or is even just neutral on fun and "worthiness" will you think that was money wasted? Could you have a lot of easier, shorter vacations with the kids?

I have 4 kids within 6 years of each other, so I can understand what your concerns are. I've traveled with 3 on my own when one was 9 mos and the twins were 4, but going with dh or grandma was always much, much easier.

I'm torn on this. I think the trip could be done, but with help from another adult or two. If you don't have a firm and realistic commitment from the grandparents, I'd consider bowing out.

If you well and truly know that grandma or grandpa will be there for you, then it might be fun. The ship really is a contained environment. Setting up nursery time and club time might actually get you a little adult alone time.

For the airport, I'd consider wearing the youngest, and perhaps a double stroller for the next two. The 6 yo can pull/carry a small carryon for activities, lovies, etc. You won't need the stroller on the ship, but it could be useful for going out in ports. I used to pack a small backpack for each kid filled with new little toys, small play dough, stickers, crayons, a little notebook, snacks, etc. Long flights are not the time for daily standard rules. Do whatever it takes to make it thru sane.

Excursions will be hard. There is almost nothing that your kids will like that the rest of the 15+ crowd will want to do all day and vice versa. If you get pushback from the grandparents about that, then I'd say they really don't know what they are getting into and I might not believe their offer of helping to make it easier on you. If you decide to go, let us know which ports you'll be going to and we can probably help with things to do with the littles, if you decide you want to get off the ship.

Will you be the only person over age 6 in your room? Will that room connect with family members? If so, that can help manage getting dressed, bathed, napped, etc. If you do nap time, what will you do? What about early bed times? Will someone sit there for you, or will everyone else be out while you sit in the room? Will that bother you?

I think you are right to be concerned, but I don't think it will automatically be a disaster. Hope that helps some.

Is there any way you could bring along a babysitter or friend to help with the kids?

regarding the flights - keep in mind that you will have to bring many diapers and changes of clothes for the baby..

you will also need to carry on with you changes of clothes for the other 3 children - potty accidents, vomiting etc

on that 'very short' flight from DC to NYC - if you're alone, what happens if you have to take one child to the bathroom?

can you leave the other 3 alone in their seats - obviously not...

and if you're flying into NYC to fly overseas, are you flying into kennedy, the most user unfriendly airport on the planet?

as for those wonderful kids clubs on board the ship - what if your children don't want to go to them (not every child is comfortable there) - so then you're stuck again...

yes, i'm a worst case scenario sort of person, but if you're planning you need to plan for the worst and hope for the best...(or not go at all, as would be my choice)...

To add to my post, I told dh about your situation. He has been a SAHD since our first two were born while I was still in training. He said no way would he have done a cruise by himself with 4 little ones.

I think a frank discussion with the in-laws is in order to let them know exactly what you would need and for you to get a feel for how they would actually help. Good luck.

I would decline taking this trip, and I’ll explain why.

With all due respect to your in laws, I think that this trip is an enormous burden on you and it will pose some very tough challenges. While I understand their desire to get the family together and to celebrate a milestone, the way that they have chosen to do so places some unrealistic expectations on you, and it doesn’t seem like they’ve taken into consideration or given much thought to your current situation.

Just for the purpose of qualifying myself, I’m a married airline pilot with two children aged 8 and 6. They have been flying since they were months old and have already traveled internationally to 10 countries at such a young age. We fly multiple times a year and they are little pros at it. I have taken a few trips with the kids where we’ve left the wife behind, but they’ve been simple trips, usually involving one flight to go visit my parents.

With that said, I’m now placing myself in your shoes (single young dad, 4 kids, including one that’s a baby, never flown with them, never cruised before, traveling to one city to catch up with the rest of the group , to then fly across the Atlantic to embark on a Mediterranean cruise, with all of the complicated logistics that go with a trip of that nature) and personally, I would gracefully decline the invitation from the in laws. The scope of this trip is big enough to make a seasoned traveler’s head spin and I can only imagine what it’s like for someone in your situation.

If the in laws’ main reason for this trip is because they want to get the family together and celebrates milestone and life, then you could suggest a different trip that takes into account the multiple challenges that you face. Maybe an easier cruise from a port close to home where you don’t need to fly (Baltimore or New York City). Then your in laws could take their Mediterranean cruise at a later date by themselves.

But to summarize, I believe that this trip is an enormous undertaking, and one where you don’t want to find yourself in. I’m sure that the in laws mean well, but I don’t think that they’ve thought things through.

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I'm very sorry for your situation. And I agree that this is just not a feasible trip. It already sounds like your in-laws will not be as helpful as you would need. And there are so many additional people on the trip that it's not like they would be able to give your kids all that much attention anyway. They will guilt you, but it will pass. I think it would be more stressful than anything for your children as well, considering their ages and that itinerary, so no need to feel bad for depriving them.

If you haven't found it already, there's also a Family forum here that will have many more people, including single parents who have cruised before.

I would decline taking this trip, and I’ll explain why.

 

With all due respect to your in laws, I think that this trip is an enormous burden on you and it will pose some very tough challenges. While I understand their desire to get the family together and to celebrate a milestone, the way that they have chosen to do so places some unrealistic expectations on you, and it doesn’t seem like they’ve taken into consideration or given much thought to your current situation.

 

Just for the purpose of qualifying myself, I’m a married airline pilot with two children aged 8 and 6. They have been flying since they were months old and have already traveled internationally to 10 countries at such a young age. We fly multiple times a year and they are little pros at it. I have taken a few trips with the kids where we’ve left the wife behind, but they’ve been simple trips, usually involving one flight to go visit my parents.

 

With that said, I’m now placing myself in your shoes (single young dad, 4 kids, including one that’s a baby, never flown with them, never cruised before, traveling to one city to catch up with the rest of the group , to then fly across the Atlantic to embark on a Mediterranean cruise, with all of the complicated logistics that go with a trip of that nature) and personally, I would gracefully decline the invitation from the in laws. The scope of this trip is big enough to make a seasoned traveler’s head spin and I can only imagine what it’s like for someone in your situation.

 

If the in laws’ main reason for this trip is because they want to get the family together and celebrates milestone and life, then you could suggest a different trip that takes into account the multiple challenges that you face. Maybe an easier cruise from a port close to home where you don’t need to fly (Baltimore or New York City). Then your in laws could take their Mediterranean cruise at a later date by themselves.

 

But to summarize, I believe that this trip is an enormous undertaking, and one where you don’t want to find yourself in. I’m sure that the in laws mean well, but I don’t think that they’ve thought things through. From experience with my in laws, a lot of times grandparents plan fun activities, but they kinda forget what it was like when they were the parents.

 

 

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I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm a single mom and my x-husband passed away unexpectedly a year ago. While we were no longer married, we were still friends and I ended up being the executor of the estate. It was a hard year so I can only imagine what you are going through.

I echo what the others have said and I would try to get out of this trip. I understand your in-laws wanting to be involved in your kid's lives but there are many other ways they can do this.With that being said my daughter and I are doing the Med cruise on June 2 and if you are going I'd be happy to answer any questions that I can about the cruise itself after I return.

If none of the 6 other adults have volunteered themselves (or at the very least 2x 15 year old daughters) to meet you in DC to help get your brood to NYC; if none have volunteered to share a connected cabin on the ship and allow at least one of your chicks to bunk in their room; if none have told you they will absolutely entertain all 4 of your sweet and I'm sure never ornery children all the way across the Atlantic so you can have a well-deserved rest before you tackle the next part of your journey; then just no. No. NO.

I would have to say this sounds overwhelming and it doesn’t sound like the inlaws are really wanting to help. We took a cruise with our then 2 and 5 yo, we had a grandma and aunt and uncle plus 2 parents and it was very hard. This wasn’t DCL so there was less fun stuff for the kids, but I feel there’s no way to get to Barcelona on your own with 4 small kids. If they wan5 family time they should think about renting a beach house or something more relaxing!

have you made any decisions after all of this advice?

I'm sorry for your loss - and can understand you wanting to stay connected with your in-laws for your children. I do agree that this sounds very difficult for you as a single person - so much to take care of and think of all while your main priority is keeping your four little ones safe. It's a lot without a full person to help. I would wish for you a person that is full time with you - do you have a sister or family member you could recruit? Better yet, could you leave the two little ones home with a family member (they will not have memories of the cruise) and just take two? You could help your MIL understand it's you and two or no one makes it........It's not an easy destination for you. Best of luck to you.