Jump to content

Decisions are Hard!


JamieLogical
 Share

Recommended Posts

Well, in any case, we are pretty much resolved to NOT doing the cruise in September with my sister. As much as I love her and her husband, I am not convinced a cruise is the right way for us to enjoy time together. Her husband is a recovering alcoholic so partaking in the UDP around them might be a bit awkward. Also, they are both heavy smokers and will often be restricted to areas on the ship where smoking is allowed, which are exactly the areas my partner and I try to avoid! I have done vacations with them in the past which were more better suited to that (like staying in a cabin or townhouse with a balcony they could pop out onto to smoke).

 

I am personally still going back and forth on whether or not to do the cruise on the Escape in October by ourselves. I really *want* to do it, but I am still filled with guilt at the prospect of skipping out on my parents. I think the ideas about doing a cruise with my partner and then doing the vacation with my parents on my own aren't bad, so I will put some thought into how I might make that work. Thanks for all of the advice, everyone!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the ideas about doing a cruise with my partner and then doing the vacation with my parents on my own aren't bad, so I will put some thought into how I might make that work. Thanks for all of the advice, everyone!

 

 

That sounds very sensible to me. If your partner only gets three weeks holiday per year then he has to be more selective about how he uses it. I think it’s quite reasonable for them to say that they’d rather do other things than go with your parents especially if it doesn’t effect your ability to do so.

 

I think that if I were in their position, I would be saying that I’m not using up a third of my holiday every year on that.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That sounds very sensible to me. If your partner only gets three weeks holiday per year then he has to be more selective about how he uses it. I think it’s quite reasonable for them to say that they’d rather do other things than go with your parents especially if it doesn’t effect your ability to do so.

 

I think that if I were in their position, I would be saying that I’m not using up a third of my holiday every year on that.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Actually, he is all for just doing the vacation with my parents. I am the one with my heart set on cruising again! But, of course, I am far less likely to go on a cruise without my partner than I am to go on vacation with my parents without him. I definitely don't think cruising alone and then *both* of us going on vacation with my parents is in the cards. :p

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with those who have said let the sister and husband do their first cruise solo. Go on a future one with them. I know you said you have already decided on this, but I do not think couples get to vacation alone enough without extended family, kids, etc. Just my bias though. As others have said I would use some of your extra vacation time to go on the vacation with your parents and still do the cruise with your significant other. In my own family I would say the healthy and active older people started to decline a year or 2 after 80 years old. It does happen suddenly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Something I haven't seen anyone else mention: My thoughts would be to avoid any Bermuda/Caribbean cruises during hurricane season!!! :o

 

The odds are ever in your favor.....I live in a hurricane zone. I readily cruise during that time as well. Best prices, great temps...

 

To the OP—as a mom I say go do the timeshare!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You already have lots of great responses on this and decided not to go with your sister on the cruise. Which I think is the right decision. My husband and I are doing a Med cruise in 2019 and will not tell anyone until a few weeks before we go. How we are going to get away with this I don't know. But we are both sworn to secrecy. Except for this board of course!

 

He has family and I have friends that would be more than happy to jump on board. We did one other cruise a few years ago with friends and it was good, but we just want to be alone this time and be on our own schedule. We haven't had a vacation in 10 years and want it to be just us.

 

As for the parents, all 4 of our parents are gone and we'd give one more day to be with them. You will never have to regret passing up that time with them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

I am personally still going back and forth on whether or not to do the cruise on the Escape in October by ourselves. I really *want* to do it, but I am still filled with guilt at the prospect of skipping out on my parents.

 

As you SHOULD be!

Put your selfishness aside and spend as much time as you can with your parents while they are still here. You're lucky your folks still want to spend time with you, too! There will always be thousands of opportunities to cruise, but only one week a year to gather with them at the time share!

 

It might sound harsh, but you asked...and you can't just keep reading until you hear what you want to hear....or you wouldn't be feeling guilty about your plans.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do spend a lot of time with my parents. I don't want to give you guys the impression that I only spend this one week a year with them! I go spend time at their house in PA with them many times a year. I was just there on Memorial Day and we are going down there for the 4th of July. I am sure we will go there for Labor Day as well. Almost every long weekend we go down there. Plus, they come up here and stay with us several times a year. Always at Christmas and usually 2-3 other times a year, though usually we are working some of those days and they go hang out with my younger sister (the one who lives here, not the one mentioned in earlier posts) and her kids. I also usually go with them to their timeshare in Gatlinburg, TN every spring.

 

I am pretty resolved now to trying to work out a way to do a cruise with my partner AND go by myself to VA for at least part of the week they are down there. Thanks again for all the advice. I love my parents very much and I am mindful of the fact that I should NOT take time with them for granted!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll just throw this out as well. If you decide to do the timeshare solo with your parents in November, why not see if your sister might could join y'all for a few days. You stated you don't get to see her very often and I know, as a mother myself, while I absolutely adore my children's spouses, there is something really special about being able to spend time with just them on the rare occasion. It's quite a while until November so maybe that would give you and your sister plenty of time to try and see if it would work out. That way, you hopefully get that fall cruise with your partner, your sister and her husband get their week and you get to spend time with your parents and maybe even your sister. Just a thought....

P.S. Saw your last post regarding having a younger sister living nearby. See if she can be added to the mix in Nov at the timeshare. What a joy that would be for your parents to spend time with all three of their girls outside of a holiday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We booked on the Escape for October. The plan is that I will go to my parents' timeshare for most or all of the week with them by myself (depending on what I can wrangle with time off). I will definitely have the vacation time available, but with only being back at work for two weeks between the two trips, I want to be sensitive to my boss and coworkers and be flexible about maybe not taking the entire week to go to VA. I'll see how it plays out. I think my parents won't have any issues with me cutting it a bit short if necessary. Back when my mom was still working and my dad was retired, there were several times when my mom would only come for part of the week and that worked out fine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We booked on the Escape for October. The plan is that I will go to my parents' timeshare for most or all of the week with them by myself (depending on what I can wrangle with time off). I will definitely have the vacation time available, but with only being back at work for two weeks between the two trips, I want to be sensitive to my boss and coworkers and be flexible about maybe not taking the entire week to go to VA. I'll see how it plays out. I think my parents won't have any issues with me cutting it a bit short if necessary. Back when my mom was still working and my dad was retired, there were several times when my mom would only come for part of the week and that worked out fine.

Sounds like you found the perfect solution.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My spouse gets a lot less vacation time that I do (I teach and get summers off). In your situation I would go on whatever cruise you and your partner want to go on together, then go on your own to see your parents -- either during the week at their time share or during a different week. We do this a lot. A few times I've taken my son to visit my parents at a beach house for 2 weeks and my spouse has flown in for a long weekend in the middle that only meant taking 1-2 days off of work. I've even taken my son to visit my in-laws by myself before!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

  • Forum Jump
    • Categories
      • Welcome to Cruise Critic
      • New Cruisers
      • Cruise Lines “A – O”
      • Cruise Lines “P – Z”
      • River Cruising
      • ROLL CALLS
      • Digital Photography & Cruise Technology
      • Special Interest Cruising
      • Cruise Discussion Topics
      • UK Cruising
      • Australia & New Zealand Cruisers
      • Canadian Cruisers
      • North American Homeports
      • Ports of Call
      • Cruise Conversations
×
×
  • Create New...