Decisions are Hard!

So, my partner and I have recently become addicted to cruising. We went on our first cruise together on the Escape to the Western Caribbean in February. While on the Escape, we went ahead and booked our "next" cruise on Bliss to the Eastern Caribbean for February 2019. However, a full year until our next cruise proved to be far too long a wait, so we ended up going on the Gem to Canada & New England earlier this month. Now we are faced with another hard choice!

I usually go to my parents' timeshare in Virginia with them the first week of November every year. I have been doing this for probably the past 10-12 years. We are now booked on the inaugural transatlantic on the Encore in November 2019, so we will for sure be missing the trip to VA with my parents NEXT year. The challenge is, my partner only gets three weeks of paid vacation every year (I get five). So, we are now faced with dilemma of choosing to do another cruise this fall (and missing to trips with my parents in a row) OR going with my parents to VA. We can't do both.

I was already sorely tempted to skip out on my parents and do a cruise on the Escape to Bermuda out of NYC. Prices are right, we loved the Escape, and it gives double Latitudes points.

Now I found out that my sister and her husband are going on the Getaway in September. They are doing Western Caribbean out of Miami. Two of the four ports are the same as our cruise on the Escape in February, so the itinerary doesn't have me super excited. It's also pricier than the Bermuda Cruise on the Escape with higher fares AND higher travel costs (we can drive to NYC and park for the week, but we would have to fly to Miami and pay for a hotel the night before the cruise). But, it's my sister's very first cruise and I it would be really nice to go with them! I don't get to see them all that often, since they live about 6.5 hours away from us. Oh, and this particular cruise on the Getaway is one where you get all 5 perks included on a balcony or above if we book before June 21.

I know random internet people might not be able to help me with this decision, but I felt like typing it all out might help me work through it some. And I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts.

How old are your parents? If they are getting on in years skipping the vacation to VA is time with them you will NEVER get back, where as you are young enough to get your cruise fixes for many years to come. Only you can decide.

How old are your parents? If they are getting on in years skipping the vacation to VA is time with them you will NEVER get back, where as you are young enough to get your cruise fixes for many years to come. Only you can decide.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

How old are your parents? If they are getting on in years skipping the vacation to VA is time with them you will NEVER get back, where as you are young enough to get your cruise fixes for many years to come. Only you can decide.

My mom is 67 and my dad will be 77 in November. But don't let number fool you. They are both in great shape and great health. Last year, in VA, my dad went on a 3 hour mountain hike with us! He's in better shape than either of us, honestly. I was huffing and puffing and dying of heat exhaustion and my dad would have kept right on going! Did I mention I had trained for and run in a marathon two months before this? My dad is a beast! But you are right, no matter what, my time with them is finite. I think it would be tough to justify skipping out on time with them for the Bermuda cruise on the Escape with just my partner.

It might be more justifiable to skip out on them to do the cruise with my sister though. Like I said, I only see my sister and her husband a couple of times a year and it is their first cruise. Also, my sister and her husband are in much worse shape than my parents really. They are both around 50 and have smoked their entire lives. My time with them might actually be more precious than with my parents at this point!

My mom is 67 and my dad will be 77 in November. But don't let number fool you. They are both in great shape and great health. Last year, in VA, my dad went on a 3 hour mountain hike with us! He's in better shape than either of us, honestly. I was huffing and puffing and dying of heat exhaustion and my dad would have kept right on going! Did I mention I had trained for and run in a marathon two months before this? My dad is a beast! But you are right, no matter what, my time with them is finite. I think it would be tough to justify skipping out on time with them for the Bermuda cruise on the Escape with just my partner.

 

It might be more justifiable to skip out on them to do the cruise with my sister though. Like I said, I only see my sister and her husband a couple of times a year and it is their first cruise. Also, my sister and her husband are in much worse shape than my parents really. They are both around 50 and have smoked their entire lives. My time with them might actually be more precious than with my parents at this point!

You never know, my husband was 65, fit as a fiddle and diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, he had NO warning signs, 13 months later he was gone.

I think you figured it out miss one vaca in VA to be with your sister and not miss 2 years in a row with your parents.

Has your sister actually invited you to join them on their vacation, or are you being presumptuous in assuming they'd want you crashing? (This varies family to family but something to think about.) I rarely see my older sister, but if she invited herself along when my husband and I have a getaway planned, I'd be devastated.

Has your sister actually invited you to join them on their vacation, or are you being presumptuous in assuming they'd want you crashing? (This varies family to family but something to think about.) I rarely see my older sister, but if she invited herself along when my husband and I have a getaway planned, I'd be devastated.

Good point, maybe sister and hubbie are doing a nice get away for themselves and don't want to be bogged down with other people and their agendas.

Easy solution. You have two more weeks than your husband and it's your family. If he prefers the cruise for his last week, pick a cruise that doesn't coincide with your parents and the time share. Then you use your extra time to go down to the time share solo. You don't miss family time and he gets top vacation how he wants, and maybe he could drop by the time share for a weekend if you're close enough.

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Easy solution. You have two more weeks than your husband and it's your family. If he prefers the cruise for his last week, pick a cruise that doesn't coincide with your parents and the time share. Then you use your extra time to go down to the time share solo. You don't miss family time and he gets top vacation how he wants, and maybe he could drop by the time share for a weekend if you're close enough.

It's fairly amusing that you came up with "husband" and "he" on your own.

It ain't easy being us cruisers!!! Decisions, decisions....and having suffer cruise anxiety until the next cruise! Maybe I'll just give it up. Not!

It's fairly amusing that you came up with "husband" and "he" on your own.

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Speaking as someone who just lost her mom to Alzheimer's and a mother-in-law to cancer and has a dad in a nursing home with ALS, I would say to treasure as many vacations with your parents as you can. They will be gone one day or unable to anything. There's always another cruise. Just my opinion though. Good luck.

Easy solution. You have two more weeks than your husband and it's your family. If he prefers the cruise for his last week, pick a cruise that doesn't coincide with your parents and the time share. Then you use your extra time to go down to the time share solo. You don't miss family time and he gets top vacation how he wants, and maybe he could drop by the time share for a weekend if you're close enough.

 

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This is what I would do if my parents were still here.

It ain't easy being us cruisers!!! Decisions, decisions....and having suffer cruise anxiety until the next cruise! Maybe I'll just give it up. Not!

Right? Why did we have to discover how amazing cruising is?!?! Wish I could just get my parents to come along with us, but despite my many many reassurances, my mom is still afraid she'll get seasick and my dad is a complete cheapskate. I could never get him to pay for a cruise when the timeshare in VA is already paid for.

I was thinking that your parents may enjoy a cruise for a change. You could get your cruise fix, and spend some time with your parents. With certain time share companies you can trade your week for a cruise.

Some timeshare companies have affiliations with cruise lines..... it might be something to look into!

Some timeshare companies have affiliations with cruise lines..... it might be something to look into!

My dad did look into that. Their timeshares are through RCI (not Royal Caribbean even though the acronyms are similar) and he can use banked/traded timeshare value towards cruises. So I had him *almost* persuaded when we found out my mom doesn't want to do it because she is worried she will get seasick. I have had issues with motion sickness my whole life and both cruises I've been on so far, I have just taken a Dramamine each morning with the rest of my pills/vitamins and had no problem at all. I tried to reassure my mom that she could do the same, but she seems thus far unconvinced.

Use your extra vacation time to go visit your parents anywhere they want by yourself.

It's fairly amusing that you came up with "husband" and "he" on your own.

I was thinking the same thing, but that probably is another topic for another time. Partner could mean several things.

I think the only answer is to visit your parents aside from with your partner. As just mentioned, maybe some other time. You do need to spend as much time with parents as you can. Life is short. Though they may be in excellent health they are also getting up in age. So, you see there is a possibility to do both, spend a week with you mom and dad and still cruise.

Jamie’s partner is male according to her other posts so so that assumption was correct. I was assuming a woman so my bad on that one. In any event, is the November time share trip the only time you see your parents. And if so could you visit with them another time solo?

Has your sister actually invited you to join them on their vacation, or are you being presumptuous in assuming they'd want you crashing? (This varies family to family but something to think about.) I rarely see my older sister, but if she invited herself along when my husband and I have a getaway planned, I'd be devastated.

Absolutely.

Not for a second suggesting this is the case here, but I am reminded of a couple we met on a cruise once. They had the cruise all booked, and then a brother decided to join them with his wife. He then went on to start organising excursions, book dining etc for them all together.

They took refuge in the bar, to get some time to themselves, as I don’t think the other couple were drinkers (they appeared a couple of times but didn’t stay), which was where I met them. A really nice couple, and I think overall they enjoyed themselves, but it was very stressful for them and there was an obvious tension between them all week, as the husband wanted to tell the other couple that they should do different things, but the wife refused.

As I say, not suggesting that would happen here, but it shows how these things can go wrong.

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Choose your parents, even if you go by yourself on your extra weeks that your partner does not have. Regret is a terrible thing to live with

Absolutely.

 

Not for a second suggesting this is the case here, but I am reminded of a couple we met on a cruise once. They had the cruise all booked, and then a brother decided to join them with his wife. He then went on to start organising excursions, book dining etc for them all together.

 

They took refuge in the bar, to get some time to themselves, as I don’t think the other couple were drinkers (they appeared a couple of times but didn’t stay), which was where I met them. A really nice couple, and I think overall they enjoyed themselves, but it was very stressful for them and there was an obvious tension between them all week, as the husband wanted to tell the other couple that they should do different things, but the wife refused.

 

As I say, not suggesting that would happen here, but it shows how these things can go wrong.

 

 

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That would definitely not be a concern/issue with us. My partner and I had already talked about how we would likely have zero interest in overlapping shore excursions. First of all, we don't typically do more than one or two excursions per cruise. Second of all, my sister and her husband are interested in far more "adventurous" activities than we are (parasailing, zip-lining, etc.) whereas we are much more of the laid back, bus tour and shopping sorts of excursions.

Likely, if we went on a cruise with my sister and brother-in-law, we would only end up eating a few meals with them on the ship and maybe seeing some of the shows together. That's exactly what we did when we went on a cruise with a couple of friends of ours back in February.

That would definitely not be a concern/issue with us. My partner and I had already talked about how we would likely have zero interest in overlapping shore excursions. First of all, we don't typically do more than one or two excursions per cruise. Second of all, my sister and her husband are interested in far more "adventurous" activities than we are (parasailing, zip-lining, etc.) whereas we are much more of the laid back, bus tour and shopping sorts of excursions.

 

Likely, if we went on a cruise with my sister and brother-in-law, we would only end up eating a few meals with them on the ship and maybe seeing some of the shows together. That's exactly what we did when we went on a cruise with a couple of friends of ours back in February.

Sure, but still... It's their trip, so it's up to them to invite you. Hard to say no when a family member asks, so be wary of putting her on the spot. As I said before, all families are different, but this is kind of a rule for everyone. Just my 2 cents. I mean, it's their first cruise ever. Why not let them have it?