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Flying and Cruising with Jim and His Dementia


OctoberKat
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Jim and I are booked on the June 24th Windstar cruise on Star Pride out of Leith, Scotland to Norway to the Faroes to Reykjavik. Jim has mid-stage dementia but we refuse to give up traveling. Others may find themselves in this situation so, herewith, my tips and tricks for flying/cruising with a demented (smile) beloved.

Short-term memory loss, and the great difficulty in making new memories, is a hallmark of dementia. What this means for our travel is Jim's inability to figure out how he got where he is each day.

 

For example, in June we'll fly to London, then take the train to Edinburgh where we board the Windstar (only 210 passengers assuming fully booked) ship sailing over eleven days to Northern Scotland, Norway, the Faroe Islands and on to Iceland before flying home to SFO. For someone with dementia, this is a whole lot of to-ing and fro-ing that could cause confusion and anxiety. We have booked the largest suite which has a good-size balcony which Jim will love, good weather permitting.

 

Truth to tell, our usual travel entails flying non-stop to one destination and staying put for the duration. So the June trip will be challenging. Here's what I will do to forestall / ameliorate confusion for Jim.

 

-- Pack two modest wheelie bags. Make liberal use of laundry service as needed. Check bags on flights, no carry-on nonsense.

 

-- Outline with highlighter on maps our route and all stops. Jim LOVES maps and it orients and comforts him to trace our journey.

 

-- Starting a week before outbound flight, remind Jim every day we will be flying to London on X day; the car service will pick us up at X time to drive us to SFO. Flying itself is pretty straight forward,I'll keep reminding Jim we're enroute to London where he has been many times before. Staying in same hotel he loved the last time.

 

-- I know well the LHR immigration/customs routine upon landing. Because we are flying business class, we will have expedited process.

 

-- Driver meets us upon clearing customs, escorts to car, drives to hotel and, voila, London! We'll have tea and sandwiches and stay awake as long as we can before crashing. Neither of us rests well on red-eyes.

 

-- We have three days in London to recover from jetlag. No activities on Day 1, hang in hotel with room service, sights from our Thames-view suite. Theatre or concert evening of Day 2; Hatchard / Liberty / Fortnum & Mason on Day 3. Remind Jim each morning and evening that we flew from home to London. Show Jim route map morning and evening.

 

-- Next day, noon express train to Edinburgh, settle in hotel, take it easy. Remind Jim we flew to London, took train to Edinburgh. Show Jim map.

 

-- Board ship next afternoon. Settle. Explain itinerary with focus on where we'll be tomorrow. Show Jim map.

 

-- Each day of 11-day cruise show Jim map in the morning. We have booked easy group excursions for each of the six port stops but will skip or arrange private tours as needed. It's FINE to stay aboard and do much of nothing. Flexibility is key; not only for Jim but for me as well. Important I not get worn out and cranky.

 

-- Room service is our friend.

 

-- Morning and afternoon rambles around the ship. Look at ocean and horizon (soothing!), stop by library. Imbibe tea, champers, diet coke, mineral water as desired.

 

-- Show Jim map. Taxi to hotel upon early-morning arrival in Reykjavik. Do something if we feel like it. By now we'll have been traveling for two weeks and will be on short tethers, Danger Time. Next day MAYBE go to Blue Lagoon if we feel like it. Or, should tethers prove too short, fly home nonstop (expensive option but that's OK).

 

-- Next day, show Jim map. Fly home to SFO on flight as originally booked which includes an inconvenient stopover in Montreal of seven hours.

 

-- Pick up Mr. Maggie from cat spa on the way home from airport in limo, then we are well and truly home.

Edited by OctoberKat
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Jim and I are booked on the June 24th Windstar cruise on Star Pride out of Leith, Scotland to Norway to the Faroes to Reykjavik. Jim has mid-stage dementia but we refuse to give up traveling. Others may find themselves in this situation so, herewith, my tips and tricks for flying/cruising with a demented (smile) beloved.

Short-term memory loss, and the great difficulty in making new memories, is a hallmark of dementia. What this means for our travel is Jim's inability to figure out how he got where he is each day.

 

For example, in June we'll fly to London, then take the train to Edinburgh where we board the Windstar (only 210 passengers assuming fully booked) ship sailing over eleven days to Northern Scotland, Norway, the Faroe Islands and on to Iceland before flying home to SFO. For someone with dementia, this is a whole lot of to-ing and fro-ing that could cause confusion and anxiety. We have booked the largest suite which has a good-size balcony which Jim will love, good weather permitting.

 

Truth to tell, our usual travel entails flying non-stop to one destination and staying put for the duration. So the June trip will be challenging. Here's what I will do to forestall / ameliorate confusion for Jim.

 

-- Pack two modest wheelie bags. Make liberal use of laundry service as needed. Check bags on flights, no carry-on nonsense.

 

-- Outline with highlighter on maps our route and all stops. Jim LOVES maps and it orients and comforts him to trace our journey.

 

-- Starting a week before outbound flight, remind Jim every day we will be flying to London on X day; the car service will pick us up at X time to drive us to SFO. Flying itself is pretty straight forward,I'll keep reminding Jim we're enroute to London where he has been many times before. Staying in same hotel he loved the last time.

 

-- I know well the LHR immigration/customs routine upon landing. Because we are flying business class, we will have expedited process.

 

-- Driver meets us upon clearing customs, escorts to car, drives to hotel and, voila, London! We'll have tea and sandwiches and stay awake as long as we can before crashing. Neither of us rests well on red-eyes.

 

-- We have three days in London to recover from jetlag. No activities on Day 1, hang in hotel with room service, sights from our Thames-view suite. Theatre or concert evening of Day 2; Hatchard / Liberty / Fortnum & Mason on Day 3. Remind Jim each morning and evening that we flew from home to London. Show Jim route map morning and evening.

 

-- Next day, noon express train to Edinburgh, settle in hotel, take it easy. Remind Jim we flew to London, took train to Edinburgh. Show Jim map.

 

-- Board ship next afternoon. Settle. Explain itinerary with focus on where we'll be tomorrow. Show Jim map.

 

-- Each day of 11-day cruise show Jim map in the morning. We have booked easy group excursions for each of the six port stops but will skip or arrange private tours as needed. It's FINE to stay aboard and do much of nothing. Flexibility is key; not only for Jim but for me as well. Important I not get worn out and cranky.

 

-- Room service is our friend.

 

-- Morning and afternoon rambles around the ship. Look at ocean and horizon (soothing!), stop by library. Imbibe tea, champers, diet coke, mineral water as desired.

 

-- Show Jim map. Taxi to hotel upon early-morning arrival in Reykjavik. Do something if we feel like it. By now we'll have been traveling for two weeks and will be on short tethers, Danger Time. Next day MAYBE go to Blue Lagoon if we feel like it. Or, should tethers prove too short, fly home nonstop (expensive option but that's OK).

 

-- Next day, show Jim map. Fly home to SFO on flight as originally booked which includes an inconvenient stopover in Montreal of seven hours.

 

-- Pick up Mr. Maggie from cat spa on the way home from airport in limo, then we are well and truly home.

 

 

Good luck with all future endeavors.

Edited by lenquixote66
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Your plan is well thought out but as we know things happen .What contingency plan do you have if you get ill or injured ?

 

Having been a table mate of a couple (he was having heart problems and she was the caregiver) we showed up for dinner one night to find out that wife died suddenly during the day.

 

 

The ship's chaplain and the medical officer were at the table to let us know and pretty much took over the care giving duties.

 

 

It might be a great idea to meet with the Captain (or the Cruise Director) on arrival and make them part of your team. If nothing else they can be very supportive as you progress with all 11 days.

 

 

Jim is very fortunate to have you by his side to ensure that he continues to experience all life has to offer. Good work.

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Hi OctoberKat. Your wisdom will be a great resource for those who are not as experienced as you in dealing with dementia, especially when traveling. You’ve made some very good points and are using Jim’s strengths to facilitate a successful journey:hearteyes: He’s very blessed to have your love and support to ensure a lovely trip. As someone with much experience dealing with this disease, I’d like to respectfully suggest you consider making written note of those things he will need frequent reminders about, certain details regarding the trip perhaps. This with likely increase his feelings of independence as he can reference the info as often as needed without relying as much on you. Seeing the info in print will increase the likelihood that he’s better able to recall pertinent details and should give him an added sense of security and comfort. And directing him to the written information rather than you repeating yourself unnecessarily might reduce the likelihood of increased frustration or weariness on your part at some point. Of course vision might be a factor. I would use simple sentence structure and bullets with slightly large print to accommodate his needs. If Jim has not yet reached the point of needing you to repeat information multiple times you still might want to consider beginning to put some things in print before it becomes a factor. By getting in the habit of him accessing written information now, you are planning for a more successful “tomorrow”. I’m wishing you and Jim a wonderful cruise making wonderful memories!

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Thank you for your kindness.

 

Hi OctoberKat. Your wisdom will be a great resource for those who are not as experienced as you in dealing with dementia, especially when traveling. You’ve made some very good points and are using Jim’s strengths to facilitate a successful journey:hearteyes: He’s very blessed to have your love and support to ensure a lovely trip. As someone with much experience dealing with this disease, I’d like to respectfully suggest you consider making written note of those things he will need frequent reminders about, certain details regarding the trip perhaps. This with likely increase his feelings of independence as he can reference the info as often as needed without relying as much on you. Seeing the info in print will increase the likelihood that he’s better able to recall pertinent details and should give him an added sense of security and comfort. And directing him to the written information rather than you repeating yourself unnecessarily might reduce the likelihood of increased frustration or weariness on your part at some point. Of course vision might be a factor. I would use simple sentence structure and bullets with slightly large print to accommodate his needs. If Jim has not yet reached the point of needing you to repeat information multiple times you still might want to consider beginning to put some things in print before it becomes a factor. By getting in the habit of him accessing written information now, you are planning for a more successful “tomorrow”. I’m wishing you and Jim a wonderful cruise making wonderful memories!
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Thank you, Walt.

 

Having been a table mate of a couple (he was having heart problems and she was the caregiver) we showed up for dinner one night to find out that wife died suddenly during the day.

 

 

The ship's chaplain and the medical officer were at the table to let us know and pretty much took over the care giving duties.

 

 

It might be a great idea to meet with the Captain (or the Cruise Director) on arrival and make them part of your team. If nothing else they can be very supportive as you progress with all 11 days.

 

 

Jim is very fortunate to have you by his side to ensure that he continues to experience all life has to offer. Good work.

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