Rhapsodyized, my Review

I am back from the Rhapsody of the Seas, sailed Oct 1 thru Oct 8. We had 5 in our group, 2 friends (J and S), Mom, Dad, and me. Names withheld, to protect the innocent. This is to be a week long birthday party for Dad, turned 90 the week before. This is our zillionth cruise and 4th time on Rhapsody. Our first had us hooked.

Day One, Sunday

We leave Dallas at 7 am with an overly packed van, bulging at the seams. S’s screen name is Paxalot!! Need I say more? J is driving and is determined to smash the land speed record from Dallas to Galveston. He believes his method will prevent any bad things from catching up to us and causing disasters. Potty stops are not on his agenda! Excellent results through Houston but I see Mom has tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying, Mom?" "I’m not crying. I gotta go and it’s starting to back up!" We pull up to the port terminal at noon, and S is actually smiling. No, wait, that is a grimace. The gals head to the ladies room while the macho guys unload the van. No way I’m the first fella to head to the men’s room (it’s a guy thing, you know).

We four wait next to the metal detectors while J takes the van to the parking. I figure this will be a very entertaining area, while we wait for J to return. I am not disappointed. First, a tall, handsome, "Marlboro" man, with a Stetson and a gold beltbuckle larger than a dinner plate, unloads his coins and keys in the little plastic tray. Security guy says "hey, take off the buckle before walking though the detector." Without hiding his Brooklyn accent, Cowboy says, "don’t worry, it’s plastic." I know there will be 1000 REAL Texas cowboys on this ship, and this Yankee is already on thin ice.

Next a cute young lady arrives in an outfit that is obviously, a cover top to swim wear. Covered with sequins and do-dads, it sets off the alarm. Security guy just points at her top. She promptly removes the top, revealing a mico-miniature version of a bikini. The crowd of pax begin applauding (well, the guys do, anyway).

Another lady with, shall we say, large top proportions sets off the alarm. Security lady says, "just come on through and I’ll wand you. I’m pretty sure it’s the metal in your bra." Hubby shouts, "hey lady, those are all natural!" Other pax are falling to the floor in hysterics. Oh, yeah, this is gonna be a fun group!

J gets back and security lets us through the side door to get a hand search. Mom and I have pacemakers, and S is in wheelchair. Miss Security does Mom and S and then calls over Mr Security for me. I say to her, "That’s ok, you can do me". "Oh, no. I’m not allowed", she says. I give her a big hug as security guy walks over. She says to him, "He feels ok, to me!" Mr. Security waves me on.

We’re on our way to get our boarding docs, with our Set-Sail passes in hand. Wheel chair folks get sent to the head of the line. Uh, yes, we are with her (pointing at S). RCI rep looks at Dad’s birth certificate and says she has never seen one hand written in beautiful script. Dad says, "Well, that’s how they did it 90 years ago. It’s older than most countries."

We now have our SeaPass cards and stop for the obligatory boarding photo. Yeah, like we look real great after driving for five hours, holding excess fluids!! Those pictures will never sell!

Onto the ship at 1 pm and the rooms are available. Drop off carry-on’s and meet up with S’s sister and her husband from Corpus Christi. Head for the Windjammer for lunch. Hmm, plates seem a little larger than last year. Nah, I’m just hungry. Crowd is medium, find a couple of tables next to each other. Food is pretty good. Catfish really tastes like catfish. Some people frown on fishy tasting fish. For goodness sakes, people.…it’s FISH!! The sirloin tips and noodles are pretty good too. I go to my favorite spot on the whole ship. The chocolate ice cream machine. They must have added audio to the thing. I swear it said, "Oh, it’s YOU again!"

The 7 of us have noticed our supper seating arrangements are not together. Who goofed? Who cares! We go to the matri…matir…marti…the guy who runs the dining room. "We would like to sit together, please." With a few strokes of a magic marker on our SeaPass cards, we now have a table for 8, second seating, upper level, starboard side, next to the window. This is deck 5, Prominade, with a great view of the outside deck. "This is great. We get to eat and people watch, at the same time."

Time to run up to the Viking Lounge and greet some Cruise Critic friends before Mustard Drill. I meet a couple who live just 10 miles from me. Small world, ain’t it?

Mustard Drill. Now folks, many people tend not to take this very seriously. Not very long ago, there was a fire on a cruise ship. Literally, thousands of passengers saved their own lives by going to their proper muster stations. The quicker you gather at your proper station, the less time you will mumble and groan. Besides, this is a great opportunity to see people who look a lot more stupid in a bright orange life vest than you!

Time for sail-away. Dump life vests in room and scramble up to deck 10 to meet up with more Cruise Critic friends. Band is playing, foo foo’s are flowing, and ship is moving away from dock. Even the dolphins are jumping out of the water. Ship stops moving out, band quits playing, and ship starts moving back to dock. What the hay? Ship gets back to dock and lets off two people. Found out later they are stowaways. NICE TRY PEOPLE !!! Band starts playing again, ship moves out again, and more foo foo’s. How about that. Royal Caribbean gives two sail-away parties for the price of one. How dare they!

Go to room, bags are there. Unpack and put everything in cubby holes you didn’t think existed in a room this small. Inside cabin, Cat L, 3 people. Bathroom the size of a phone booth. Don’t worry about falling in the shower. It is physically impossible. Think of a cigar falling over inside of its tube. Besides, the shower curtain is guaranteed to stick to your body, not allowing any vertical sliding.

Welcome Aboard Showtime in the Broadway Melodies Theater. Dan Whitney is cruise director. He was good and corny last year. This year he is gooder and cornyer. He really does have a lot of energy. The Singers and Dancers give a little prelude and out comes the comedian, Hal Saperstein. I give him a 6.5 on the funny scale, but I will grade him again for his adult show in a few days.

Supper time in the Dining Room. We are greeted by our waiter, Amal, and he takes time to ask our names. I notice he is mumbling our names to himself as he takes our orders, sets up the table, and as he brings the food out. I have the prime rib and the sea bass. Best prime I’ve had in a year. (On Rhapsody one year ago). I knew I wasn’t going to go wrong with the choices. When Amal takes our dessert orders, he is now calling us by name. I have a chocolate pecan pie with rum swirls on top. Excellent, but I ask Amil when the Flourless Chocolate Cake will be served. He says, on Thursday. The Head waiter swings by to check on things and I ask him the same question. "On Thursday". I pull on a nose hair to cause my eyes to tear up, and ask if there was anything he could do to get us some FCC. He said, "I’ll see what I can do". I’m pathetic, but I do love the FCC. Dad has the lemon cheesecake and I notice he is frozen with the fork halfway to his mouth. His eyes are as big as saucers. I turn around to see what he is looking at (my back is to the window). It is a giant whale in a string bikini. Too late, my retinas have been vaporized. I just say, "Sorry, Dad. Consider her as your diet coach!" If we have "window dressing" like this every night, I will need a white cane.

Take Mom to the casino and introduce her to the slot machines. Yeah, like, they aren’t already, well acquainted!! I heard one of the machines say, "welcome back mamma!" I go to the blackjack table and begin my ritual of throwing away money. The dealer remembers my name from last year. Rotten little winch! (but cute). I give up and go give Mom a few more bucks to maintain her wheel of fortune adrenaline.

Bedtime. Beds are turned down, chocolates on the pillows, and Cruise Compasses for tomorrow. Fresh ice in the bucket and new towels in the bathroom. Invitations to the Cruise Critic Meet and Mingle for tomorrow are on the vanity. Royal Caribbean Gold coupon books are on the beds. Stewart is doing a fine job, even if we don’t see him.

Next addition, Day 2, Monday.

Glad you made it with all luggage intact ;) , can't wait until day 2!!!!

Scotty, you're off to a good start! :)

I'm holding out for when the luggage went skipping down the highway. I mean........ shoot, we still have the return trip home! ;) :D

Oh God! I really wish I had taken you up on the offer to join you guys on this cruise. And we haven't even gotten to the 2nd day yet.

Thanks for the entertaining review! We're going on our first RCI, Rhapsody cruise in Dec.

.....what cool review....hope we meet people like you on our Rhapsody cruise in April!!!

Thanks for the review which included a few laughs for us.

Dec will be our first time on Rhapsody and first for a Junior Suite. Did JS passengers get priority boarding? There are many threads discussing this topic, but it seems to vary by ship and port. Can't seem to get a positive answer; just lots of guesses. Only our third RCI cruise so we are still gold level.

:D :D :D :D

Great start .... I WANT MORE;)

I am back from the Rhapsody of the Seas, sailed Oct 1 thru Oct 8. We had 5 in our group, 2 friends (J and S), Mom, Dad, and me. Names withheld, to protect the innocent. This is to be a week long birthday party for Dad, turned 90 the week before. This is our zillionth cruise and 4th time on Rhapsody. Our first had us hooked.

More please, we leave in 8 days and I am always enjoy reading reviews of Rhapsody (sniff, I sure am going to miss her). This will be hubby's first cruise and I am just dying for us to get out there! We have friends who return tomorrow from Rhapsody and plan on making them share all about it over the next week to tide us over until we arrive in Galveston.

Thanks for the review which included a few laughs for us.

Dec will be our first time on Rhapsody and first for a Junior Suite. Did JS passengers get priority boarding? There are many threads discussing this topic, but it seems to vary by ship and port. Can't seem to get a positive answer; just lots of guesses. Only our third RCI cruise so we are still gold level.

We were in a JS on the 9/3 sailing - "yes" to priority boarding. We were asked by an attendant as we walked in if we were elite or had a suite. I asked if JS was considered a suite, and she said "of course, right this way". Have a great cruise.

Thanks for the review. Looking forward to reading more. :)

Day One, Sunday

Next addition, Day 2, Monday.

Oh, God, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time....this is absolutely priceless. Can't wait for more. Can I save them, Scotty? I think I'll read one to the next Board meeting at the church. Paper towels and screen cleaner at the ready.

I want to cruise with you....any chance you could get on the Briliance TA in December 2007? A Christmas cruise with Selectone.....thought boggles the mind.:eek::eek:

Fran in Toronto

We were in a JS on the 9/3 sailing - "yes" to priority boarding. We were asked by an attendant as we walked in if we were elite or had a suite. I asked if JS was considered a suite, and she said "of course, right this way". Have a great cruise.

Thank You TexasMom. I knew a recent Rhapsody cruiser could give us a straight answer. We now have one more thing to look forward to.

Scotty!

You crack me up. It's like I was there again! I remember thinking when we were pulling back to dock that it was one of my dreams that I had... I had so many dreams that the cruise was sooooo short and I didn't get to do half the things I had on my to do list. I've heard that people say that the week would go by fast, I just didn't think that fast! LOL Boy, was that deja vu! Don't forget to post about our M&M and all that fun!!!

Miss you,

Dona :)

Looking forward to the next installment although you have given yourself some tough competition. 2005's review is hard to beat. I hope you didn't have to throw money overboard again.

The whale in a bikini was the straw that broke my camel's funny bone! :D:D

I'm looking foward to the rest of your review.

Cheers,

Laurent

Day 2, Monday. Day at sea.

I messed this post up. See next one.

oops, tried to modifiy above post and it broke.

Day 2, Monday. Day at sea.

Since we are on deck 3, inside, we are referred to as "bottom dwellers". No sunlight will wake me, so I get up when I have had enough sleep. Today, it seems to be 6 am. I dress and go to deck 9 for coffee (aka, paint remover). Windjammer is not even open yet. Meet up with other early risers from west Texas and see the beginnings of a sunrise over the ocean. Breathtaking. Lady in pajamas, walks up to the table and says, "Herold, how come you’re here?" "Because you were snoring and it’s quieter here. Go back to bed, I’ll see you for lunch". Glad I don’t live close to her!

Breakfast in the Dining Room with our group, plus three ladies from England. Rhapsody lovers are split on breakfast in the Dining Room or Windjammer Buffet. Windjammer is certainly fast and convenient, and the selection is more varied. I just happen to prefer the wonderful service and the fine white linens in the Dining Room. Treats this morning, are a Ham, cheese, onion, and mushroom omelet, along with a side of Freedom Toast. Sorry, still haven’t quite forgiven the French. Orange juice and paint remover rounds it out. The Brits are praising the extremely thin cut, crispy bacon. They ask if they could please have a little more. Waiter brings them a large plate, stacked high. As they scarf it down, I’m wondering if the Rhapsody infirmary has a cardiac ward.

A little time to walk the ship before lunch. Just like last year, the hallways are several shades of the same color, due to constant re-carpeting. However, they look very clean. Plenty of Henry’s parked around. For the uninformed, "Henry" is the vacuum cleaners used on all the RCC ships. The cleaning crew is tackling the windows and glass in the Atrium. Rhapsody has more glass than many ships twice her size. I wish I had the Windex contract for this ship. I get lots of smiles and hello’s from the crew members as I wonder around. The brass and marble are polished to brilliance. You could eat off the floor. Reminds me, lunch will be delayed a bit, while we go to Meet and Mingle.

Meet and Mingle is in the Moonlight Bay Lounge. Royal Caribbean has set up a very nice arrangement of horse dovers and finger sammaches for us. We had about 35 people show up and it was a pleasure to meet everyone. Assistant cruise director is there to give everyone a Royal Caribbean token momento, and to raffle off a few other door prizes. Hat, T-shirt, key chain, etc. Many of us bring goodies from home to add to the door prize fun. I contribute a windsock, a little shaving kit, and a beanie baby stingray. Others bring books, home made greeting cards, decorations, T-shirts, blinky lights, and many more items than I can remember. What a Hoot! Everybody won something except, well, ME !!! Lezlie felt sorry for me and gave me a couple of flashing lights to hang on my shirt. Perfect, like, should I attract more attention to myself with portable strobe lights ??

Late lunch in the Dining Room. We are joined by an energetic threesome who are doing the Mystery Cruise and are dressed up as a gangster and his two molls. This is a separate, private event where the members solve a "who-dunnit". What a great way to add fun to a cruise! Today’s lunch, for me, is the hot pasta mix the chef personalizes, for individual tastes. I choose shrimp, mushrooms, garlic, and onions. Delicious, except now I smell like a swamp in southern Italy.

This afternoon is the Wine Tasting. Free coupon in the Royal Caribbean Gold book for returning guests. I never pass up an opportunity for free booze. Ten bucks for those without coupons. Delighted to sit with some people who know no more about wine, than I do. I call him redneck, and his wife, rednekkid. We have fun impersonating the Wine Steward’s gestures, as he expounds upon the "genteel" aspects of the different wines. We three agree (in whispers), "shut up and pour the wine!" By the third tasting, we are getting a bit tipsy. All goes well until the Steward describes the last bottle of wine as being a "woody" variety. Miss rednekkid speaks loudly, "Oh yeah, I KNOW I’m gonna like that one!" My strobe lights aren’t helping me hide from the neighboring laughter.

This is formal night with Captain’s reception. More free booze. After the afternoon’s wine tasting and these 3 glasses of champagne, I can only hear Captain Ingebrigtsen’s speech like it was in a Charlie Brown classroom. "bla, bla, bla, 16 pax from China, bla, bla, bla, 11 from England, bla, bla, bla, 2 from Australia, bla, bla, bla, 1940 from Texas." Cheers, applause, and yahooo’s. Yep, there are a lot of Texans here, just as snockered as I am.

Formal Supper in the Dining Room with scallop chowder, strawberry soup, tiger shrimp, and tenderloin on rice. Multiple berry parfait and cream cake for dessert. However, the Head Waiter stops by with a large plate of Flourless Chocolate Cakes for our table. See, it pays to whimper at the right time. Dad is looking out the window again. Oh, no. Is the whale back? Nope. It is a woman, pointing at our FCC and obviously screaming at her husband, "we didn’t get any FCC in the first seating!"

I go to bed tonight, not happy that I made that poor lady miserable……..well, not really! :rolleyes:

Next, Day 3, Tuesday.

What an awesome review! What do you do for a living? You should be a writer of comedy. We willb eon the Rhapsody in two weeks. Driving over from San Antone, but I think we will take it a little more leisurely and amke some pit stops. Our 7 y.o. son requires them. I can't wait to hear about the rest of your trip.

Sam :D

Have to get this back on page one.......... too funny! Can't wait for the next installment! :D

OMG! I'm ROTFLMAO! Thanks for such an entertaining review! :D

I've sailed on the Rhapsody twice and love both the ship and the itinerary! I am going to miss her when she leaves Galveston. :(

Can't wait for the next installment. Keep 'em coming!

I want more !!!

I want more !!!

I want more !!!

....

Scotty: I am loving your review!

One day in the theater Mark & I sat next to three ladies from England. I wonder if it was your same three ladies? I noticed they kept looking at us a little funny. Finally one of them leaned over and said that they were wondering why so many of us were wearing plasters behind our ears. They wanted to know what they were for or if we all belonged to some secret club together and that was how we identified each other. I was happy to explain to her that they were to prevent motion sickness and that it was a club it was better NOT to belong to.

At the end of the week I still had a nice little stash of blinking lights left over. On the last day we passed them on to Janet from Another Planet of the CD Staff. She seemed really tickled to get them. It made me feel good to know that even though we had to leave the ship, others would still be blinking on the following week. :)

Hey Scotty:

Loving every installment. You about knocked me off the chair onto the floor with the whale remark... ROFLAMO. Oh, just to let you and Lezlie know, (I'll call her later today), but those blinking lights, if you wear them in Vegas, you actually could be mistaken for a prostitute! Oopss... who would have known.. Flashing red light never came to mind. :eek:

Dona :)