Passport for a child when father is nowhere to be found

[Cre]

Thanks for the info.

[emcamm]

See I dont have that problem. My son has our last name now and it shows on his passport. So really they have no reason to ask for a letter of permission.

I cross the border multiple times a month and my older daughter has my last name. In the past 7 years I've been doing this I think I've been asked for a permission letter maybe half a dozen times. Having the same last name really helps out! I got married but kept my maiden name (same as my older daughter's) and my younger daughter has my husband's name. I get asked about her quite frequently because she has a different name than my older daughter and I. I just explain that I didn't take my husband's name. I always carry a copy of my custody papers for older daughter and a note from my husband saying I'm allowed to cross whenever I want with the younger one.

So all in all you won't have a problem if you ever vacation with your husband as you all have the same last name. If you vacation alone with your son then have your husband write a letter and have it notarized. Glad to hear that you got his passport without much trouble.

[Envoy2010]

I'm glad I came across this because this has been stressing me out ever since I read on here some where about the "absent parent letter". I am a first timer so I had no idea that this would be needed. I thought everything would be fine once I obtained a passport for my son. His father and I were never married but my 12 year old son has his father's last name and his father's name appears on the birth certificate. His father has not been in the picture in 9 years. Like the OP, I never did anything legally in regards to obtaining full legal custody because I knew he would never try to gain custody of my son even in the event of my untimely demise. I know where his father lives but I know that he will not be willing to do anything to help. My question is, do we need the letter to board the ship or just when we are at port?

 

Any information or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[imsulin]

I'm glad I came across this because this has been stressing me out ever since I read on here some where about the "absent parent letter". I am a first timer so I had no idea that this would be needed. I thought everything would be fine once I obtained a passport for my son. His father and I were never married but my 12 year old son has his father's last name and his father's name appears on the birth certificate. His father has not been in the picture in 9 years. Like the OP, I never did anything legally in regards to obtaining full legal custody because I knew he would never try to gain custody of my son even in the event of my untimely demise. I know where his father lives but I know that he will not be willing to do anything to help. My question is, do we need the letter to board the ship or just when we are at port?

 

Any information or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

Does your son have your last name or his father's last name on his Passport? You could have a potential problem either way, unless you have court papers stating you are the sole custodian.

[Envoy2010]

I don't have any legal papers as of yet, and yes, he has his father's last name and since we were never married...our names are different. I am laughing to myself (laughing to keep from crying :() at the pure irony of this whole situation. I promised myself that I would NEVER call him for anything. I thought I was done with his man once and for all but OOOO no...SMH. I emailed my TA and she is supposed to check with her resources tomorrow and find out what my options are if I have any. Meanwhile...I will be preparing a letter to mail to him requesting his help. I am sure, however, that his wife will intercept it and not think twice about tossing it before he even gets home. :mad:

[RoadTripFanatic]

I don't have any legal papers as of yet, and yes, he has his father's last name and since we were never married...our names are different. I am laughing to myself (laughing to keep from crying :() at the pure irony of this whole situation. I promised myself that I would NEVER call him for anything. I thought I was done with his man once and for all but OOOO no...SMH. I emailed my TA and she is supposed to check with her resources tomorrow and find out what my options are if I have any. Meanwhile...I will be preparing a letter to mail to him requesting his help. I am sure, however, that his wife will intercept it and not think twice about tossing it before he even gets home. :mad:

 

Send it certified mail. When you mail it send it with restricted delivery. This means that only he can sign for the letter. You can also request for a confirmation of the letter and a copy of the signature of the recipient. If you want to really throw it off ask your attorney or TA to send it for you that way they don't know who it is from. :)

[imsulin]

You might want to go to court (I know - not fun) to get an emergency order from a Judge allowing you to take your son out of the US. It really is all about one parent taking a minor child out of the country without the other parent's written permission. Parental kidnapping, and all that. Different last names will be an issue for you. It also depends on who checks you in and how observant they are. I saw this several times when I worked as a TA, and it's not easy. The suggestion to send a certified restricted delivery letter (I think RoadTripFanatic posted this) is a good one, and include a permission letter to take your child out of country that must be signed and notarized and returned to you by certified mail. If this letter is returned to you unopened, you have a very good case. You may have to get an attorney. Good luck to you!

[sbhdmh]

I like the idea of the TA sending the letter - a neutral third party makes it look less like he is doing Mom some kind of favor. I would have it sent first by regular mail maybe with delivery confirmation and then by certified mail. I would also go a step further and make it seem like a standard form, almost like he is going on a school trip rather than on a vacation with mom. Nothing false, of course, just vague. Maybe something like:

 

"_____ is scheduled to travel on such and such dates. US immigration requires that all travelers under the age of 18 have written permission of both parents in order to leave the country. Please sign the enclosed form and return it to my office by such and such date."

 

If he does not sign then you have the paperwork, with proof of delivery and either signature or refusal for certified letter, to show a judge if you need to go to court. If you have not had contact for 9 of the child's 12 years and he refuses to respond to such a simple request I assume you will be able to get a court order pretty easily. Just an idea. Good luck!

[goose30]

The passport isn't the hard part - its the permission to leave the country. Even if a parent gives permission to get a passport, they still have to give permission each time to travel abroad.

 

Why do you think that would be a problem if they all have the same last name?

[Envoy2010]

@ Roadtrip and Imsulin, I don't know why I didn't think about that. Good suggestions, thanks.

 

@ Sbhdmh, this was a great idea. Very plain and simple and to the point. I typed up the letter today using your suggestions and will be putting it in the mail on Tuesday. I gave him until April 15th to respond. (I'm even sending a self addressed/stamped envelope so he really has no excuse) If I don't get a response from him I will submit a motion to have permission from the courts to travel with my son. So for now....its a waiting game. :(

 

Thanks for all of the helpful suggestions!!!

[beachchick]

Why do you think that would be a problem if they all have the same last name?

 

Because parents and children having the same last name does not equal one parent allowing the other to take their child out of the country. Even parents who are married should have a notarized letter from the other parent. Why, you ask? Because Immigration agents and other officials can (not will, but can) require a parent traveling alone with their own child to prove that the other parent is allowing the travel. That proof can be a notarized letter from the other parent (married, divorced, separated, never married--doesn't matter); court papers showing the one parent has sole physical and legal custody; court orders allowing the travel (for example, the other parent cannot be found or refuses to allow the travel for no other reason than to be punitive); a death certificate if the other parent has died.

 

A passport does not equate to permission to travel because each trip is treated separately. Signing off on a passport application is signing off only on that one thing.

 

There are many parents here who have reported first-hand experience with being required to show proof that they have the authority to take their children between countries. Some of the stories are pretty scary, such as married parents figuring, "Those rules don't apply to us because we're married," but then the one parent who is traveling with the kids being required to show permission from the other and then a veritable circus of calling the parent who is staying home to get a letter written, notarized, and faxed in time for departure. Sadly, there are members here who write things like "Well, I've been traveling alone with my children for years and no one has ever asked me for such proof, so it's not needed." Just because they have never been required to show proof doesn't mean they never will be and it sure as heck doesn't mean that no one is ever required to show proof.

 

beachchick

[beachchick]

I'm glad I came across this because this has been stressing me out ever since I read on here some where about the "absent parent letter". I am a first timer so I had no idea that this would be needed. I thought everything would be fine once I obtained a passport for my son. His father and I were never married but my 12 year old son has his father's last name and his father's name appears on the birth certificate. His father has not been in the picture in 9 years. Like the OP, I never did anything legally in regards to obtaining full legal custody because I knew he would never try to gain custody of my son even in the event of my untimely demise. I know where his father lives but I know that he will not be willing to do anything to help. My question is, do we need the letter to board the ship or just when we are at port?

 

Any information or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

First, I strongly urge you to go to court as soon as you can and get those legal papers with you as sole guardian. It's important for more than this cruise. There are jurisdictions where, if something happened to you, your son's father would be granted automatic custody, even if he doesn't want it, because he is the legal father and has rights. The rights exist unless legal paperwork says otherwise. In this scenario, the person or people who you choose to be your son's guardians would be forced to go to court to get custody. It could be a mess with your son in the middle.

 

Second, you can be required to show the letter both at boarding and at the various ports. Mexico is particularly strict about this, so if you have a port stop in Mexico, you'll want to make sure you have a copy of the letter with you. Although you may not be required to show it, the agents will not (and should not) take your word for it that your son's father is not in the picture and has no contact with him. The agents require proof, which is in the form of the consent letter or court documents.

 

I suggest that you mail a letter along with the permission letter for his father to sign and have notarized. That way if he refuses to sign it and have it notarized, you have evidence for the courts that you tried. You'd take everything to a family lawyer to get a judge's emergency order allowing the travel. That would do for this trip, but then you really do need to go to court and have custody and guardianship made legal. It is for your protection and your son's protection and best interests.

 

Have a wonderful time.

 

beachchick

[Onessa]

Send it certified mail. When you mail it send it with restricted delivery. This means that only he can sign for the letter. You can also request for a confirmation of the letter and a copy of the signature of the recipient. If you want to really throw it off ask your attorney or TA to send it for you that way they don't know who it is from. :)

 

You will want to have someone verify the contents as they are placed into the envelope so that they can "swear" as to what was in the envelope. I once had a case where someone sent three blank sheets of paper "certified" with return receipt requested -- in court she claimed it was the paperwork that she had promised. With the counter arguement (that she had sent blank paper), the arbritator ruled (correctly) that Certified mail and/or return reciept only "proves" that an envelope was sent and received.

 

Ooo, but the law is an evil place:D!

[kaiiak]

I'm glad I came across this because this has been stressing me out ever since I read on here some where about the "absent parent letter". I am a first timer so I had no idea that this would be needed. I thought everything would be fine once I obtained a passport for my son. His father and I were never married but my 12 year old son has his father's last name and his father's name appears on the birth certificate. His father has not been in the picture in 9 years. Like the OP, I never did anything legally in regards to obtaining full legal custody because I knew he would never try to gain custody of my son even in the event of my untimely demise. I know where his father lives but I know that he will not be willing to do anything to help. My question is, do we need the letter to board the ship or just when we are at port?

 

Any information or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

I'm in a similar situation w/ my now 14 yr old. I got a passport for him under the special circumstances when he took his first cruise w/ us when he was 9. Got the passport w/ no problems.

 

My main problem is he has my maiden name and I now have a different last name. Last cruise on HAL (he was 12 then) they asked for the "letter" and I gave them a notarized letter that explains the situation of no contact w/ father since 6 mos old, whereabouts unknown, etc. They let us onboard no problem. Actually, I seriously don't even think the girl at the counter read the letter, she just wanted to see if I had a notarized letter. HIs first cruise on Princess they never asked for the letter. I guess it is hit or miss, but I would have SOMETHING notarized for sure just to be safe.

[MMsteffey]

I'm the annoying person who reminds friends traveling with their kids, without both parents, to take a notarized letter. I took our 12 yo daughter to Curenavaca MX a few years ago and for some reason did not even think about it. Yep - was asked for it. When checking in at Mexico City to return home in the US.

 

Since my DH and I are flying separately on our next vacation, and I'll have the kids on my flight, I'm taking a letter in case his flight is delayed so that our travel can continue without him until he catches up. Probably over-doing it but the minor effort now beats hours in the immigration office any day.

 

Out of curiosity is this a requirement for people traveling from Europe or the far east to North or South American countries?

[Envoy2010]

Kaiiak, thanks for your posting for you reminded me of something that I had forgotten about. Back in 2002 we did go to court for custody but he threw such a hissy fit in court and after throwing such a temper tantrum the judge informed him that legally he had to take what I offered given the circumstances. He stormed out of the courtroom, so the judge ruled in my favor. Hence me not taking the custody issue any further because I thought that was all that I needed to do unless he filed another motion, which he never did. Well, I go down town to the clerk of court office today and after about an hour of searching tediously through our court records, I found the two page document that should be suitable for this occassion. It stated that the judge did in fact advise him that he did not have any rights such as a parent with joint legal custody might have since he has not legitimated the minor in question. So, I had a certified copy made for me plus I will also be getting a letter notorized that states the fact that after that hearing he was never heard from again. I contacted the CBP and the Port and was advised that this would be all that was needed. In fact that CBP stated that I shouldn't have any problem anyway as long as there are no court orders restriciting my son's movement and that the officer's at the port can verify the information if needed. I'm only sharing that part because it was told to me but PLEASE don't take that for gold. I would HATE for someone to be detained based on information they may have found here. :o

 

So it appears that I am good to go....for now. I will be going to apply for our passports on Monday!!! I can now go back to being EXCITED :D

[sailinglisa]

 

Out of curiosity is this a requirement for people traveling from Europe or the far east to North or South American countries?

 

Yes, it is.

[Vianky]

Because parents and children having the same last name does not equal one parent allowing the other to take their child out of the country. Even parents who are married should have a notarized letter from the other parent. Why, you ask? Because Immigration agents and other officials can (not will, but can) require a parent traveling alone with their own child to prove that the other parent is allowing the travel. That proof can be a notarized letter from the other parent (married, divorced, separated, never married--doesn't matter); court papers showing the one parent has sole physical and legal custody; court orders allowing the travel (for example, the other parent cannot be found or refuses to allow the travel for no other reason than to be punitive); a death certificate if the other parent has died.

 

A passport does not equate to permission to travel because each trip is treated separately. Signing off on a passport application is signing off only on that one thing.

 

There are many parents here who have reported first-hand experience with being required to show proof that they have the authority to take their children between countries. Some of the stories are pretty scary, such as married parents figuring, "Those rules don't apply to us because we're married," but then the one parent who is traveling with the kids being required to show permission from the other and then a veritable circus of calling the parent who is staying home to get a letter written, notarized, and faxed in time for departure. Sadly, there are members here who write things like "Well, I've been traveling alone with my children for years and no one has ever asked me for such proof, so it's not needed." Just because they have never been required to show proof doesn't mean they never will be and it sure as heck doesn't mean that no one is ever required to show proof.

 

beachchick

 

In my case both my DH and myself will be cruising...so its not a problem...

[navigator0709]

Vianky,

 

Just wanted to say, I'm so happy things worked out for you. I hope you and your family have a fantastic cruise!

 

Sally

[Vianky]

Vianky,

 

Just wanted to say, I'm so happy things worked out for you. I hope you and your family have a fantastic cruise!

 

Sally

 

 

Thank you Sally!

 

We are so excited!! I was just looking over the menu we will have and Im getting fat just reading about it! only 97 more days left!