***Welcome To The New Cruise Countdown Club***

[timeormoney]

Oh Kathy, Bill died this morning.

[Belle]

Haven't read your post in a long time, went on now.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Know your feeling such sadness and your saying what now.

 

My husband passed on March 5th almost 6 months ago.

I feel your pain.

 

Just want to send you my prays, a hug and to know

someone is thinking of you at this time who knows

what your going thru.

Don't let people tell you what YOU should FEEL or what

YOU should DO. Do what you want, your feelings are your

feelings.

 

Again I'm so sorry for your loss.

[3-sheets-to-the-wind]

Sharon, I am not a regular poster but I have been following your thread.

 

I am so sorry to read about the passing of Bill.

 

It's hard to know what to say at times like this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

Again, so sorry for your loss.

 

Lori

Edited August 31, 2015 by 3-sheets-to-the-wind

[mstrc1]

Sharon, I am so very sorry to hear this. I am sitting hear just now at work and I am crying. All my prayers and hugs for you.

 

 

Kathy

[Oppalopa]

Oh I am so sorry. Please try to take care.

[Sea Fan]

Again Sharon, I'm so very sorry, you would think there would be a better word than sorry.

I'm sure things are a mind boggling blur right now, I hope family is stepping up to help.

 

 

Belle said it the best, " Don't let people tell you what YOU should FEEL or what

YOU should DO. Do what you want, your feelings are your

feelings."

 

Belle you really do understand, I'm sorry you have also been through it.

 

Kathy, you have been such a good friend to Sharon, I have followed the posts when I could. I'm sorry your boss is still such a stinker {{hugs}}

 

Dianne

Edited August 31, 2015 by Sea Fan

[Sea Fan]

Sharon, I'm thinking of you.... wish I could help.

[Oppalopa]

Kathy, have you heard from Sharon in the last few days? I hope she is ok.

[mstrc1]

Karen and Dianne, I have not heard anything from Sharon since she posted last of Bill's passing. I have also been checking the death notices everyday and have not seen anything posted.

 

So yes, I also hope she is OK. Perhaps the family is causing her some problems. They have not been respecting her at all.

 

 

Kathy

[Belle]

I hope his family isn't given her a rough time.

That's why I wrote to her..to do what she

wants and feel the way she wants because

I read she was having trouble with them.

 

My sister-in-law not talking to me because

I did what my husband wanted not what she

wanted when he died.

 

Sharon be strong..Hold on Tight.....Thinking of

you.

[timeormoney]

Well everything is almost done, have to go to the cemetery tomorrow and put the ashes in the ground.

 

Last Saturday night, Bill was having great difficulty breathing so I called Hospice and they sent a nurse and said I should call some family. His son and one daughter came over, it was around 11:30 pm. After a breathing treatment and some morphine he got better. Everyone felt great a crisis had been averted and went home. He coughed for about an hour and then seemed to sleep restfully. Sunday morning I got up, counted his breaths because they said if it was over 22 times a minute to give him more morphine, it wasn't, it was only 16. I went to change clothes and about 10 minutes later Bill's son came over. I told him Bill was doing good, opened some curtains and we saw he had passed away. He grabbed him, shook him and called his name but he was gone.

 

My Grandson came up from Louisiana with his "significant other" and her 6 year old son. He was a great help during the funeral.

 

We had the military color guard that came up to the front of the church, around 6 of them and each slowly saluted the remains. Then we a very nice service (at my church, agreeable to all) and at the end we had a Navy general and regular navy guy both in dress whites come to the front of the church, unfold a huge American flag slowly one fold at a time. When it was completely open a bugler played taps. Then the flag was refolded and when it was done it was presented to me on behalf of the President of the United States, Vice President, Sec of State and Commander General in charge of the armed forces. I don't think there was a dry eye in the place. It was a beautiful funeral, Bill would have liked it.

 

My Grandson stood by my side the whole time and put his arm around me every time I lost it. My sister was able to come also, since her next chemo was not until the end of the week. I hadn't seen her for over a year.

 

I thought it was strange though, I stood up the whole time during the wake which was before the funeral and greeted everyone that came to pay their respects. The "kids" all sat together and talked and not once met any of "our" friends only the ones they knew.

 

My Grandson went tonight to visit some cousins and will be back to say goodbye on Sunday. So this is the first night I am alone, it is very quiet and while I think I can do this for a little while, I don't know how in the world I can do this forever without him. His son said, he is peaceful now and he wants everyone to be happy. I told him, I am glad he is peaceful but I am not happy and will not be happy for a long time.

 

I'm sure things are going to get rough with the kids soon, this is the calm before the storm, the son already on Monday wanted me to call about the Trust. I have an advocate in our stock guy and he set up an appmnt with a lawyer next Tuesday for me, just to go over some things.

 

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers they are gratefully appreciated.

[mstrc1]

Sharon, I am so very sorry and I was checking everyday before we left and did not see anything posted in the obituaries. I know how much of a difficult time you will be going through and how lonely you will be. Remember to take the best care of yourself and don't let anyone push you around or give you any crap. I hope all goes well tomorrow with you attorney.

 

All my thoughts and prayers.

 

 

Kathy

[timeormoney]

Miss him do very much! Thinking of all I have lost. No one will care, I mean really care if I don't feel good or get sick. No one will hug me with so much love or worry about me when I go somewhere. No one to laugh with, hold hands with or love. All gone now.

 

Its quiet and lonely here.

[Belle]

Can't say I know how your feeling but

can say I know some what. We're all

different how we deal with our loss.

What we have in common is we lost

our husbands that we loved very much.

 

My husband passed six months ago on

March 5th. I too am so lonely..the house

is empty. I like you was taking care of my

husband.

 

All we can do is take it one day at a time.

Some days are better then others. I still

haven't touch my husbands clothes. I say

what's the hurry.

 

I'm at more of a loss now, I had a friend that

I talked to almost everyday. Had someone to talk

to about how I was feeling, talk about anything.

She just passed away couple of weeks ago.

It was so sudden. I miss that connection and her.

 

So please take care of yourself. Find a friend to talk to

it does help to get everything out. Like I said all we can

do is take it day by day. I know it's hard.

 

I'm thinking of you, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

[mstrc1]

Sharon, I am so very sorry for you, and you are right about his family. But there are those of us here who really feel for you. Belle said it just right. But you do not have anyone there to comfort you and to actually hold on to you. Still just the same, still take good care of you, and Bill will always be close to you, just deep inside of you for always.

 

 

Kathy

[timeormoney]

Thank you Belle, Thank you Kathy, it helps to be able to talk with you.

 

Already had a run in with the lawyer of Bill's trust. He never wanted Bill and I to get married for some reason and has kept that attitude for the 13 years we were married. He tried to tell me that everthing Bill and I had together and everything I had personally would be retitled and 1/2 put in the trust and distributed to Bill's kids and I recieving 1/8 each.. This would include our home, my car, jewelry and everything else, then he told me it was because WI is a community property state. However I have lived in Il all my life and Bill has lived in Il since we have been married and bought our home.This didn't sound right so I talked to my own lawyer today and he is writing a letter straightening him out and telling him to talk to him instead of me from now on. I was also the trustee with Bill's son but am resigning because I'm sure he would replace me anyway. That also will save me from having to get appraisals on everything and gathering all the information. Let his kids do it!

 

So tonight I can sleep better knowing they cannot take away everything from me.

[mstrc1]

Sharon, I am very surprised that Bill did not take care of this with his lawyer long before now, and straighten him out on how he should conduct himself. He sounds like a real jerk. Let your lawyer do everything from now on, as you do not need all of this crap.

 

I would have to say that the key here is that anything over 10 years is good and you were married 13 years. This only sets the stage of what you will be in store of with all of those kids. Be prepared for a battle with them in trying to push you out of everything. This is very sad that people have to conduct themselves this way. I cannot stand people like this. To them, it is all about the money.

 

My prayers and hopes are with you,

 

 

Kathy

[timeormoney]

Talked to one of Bill's daughters tonight and told her I was resigning as the trustee and why. She said she knew her dad would not have wanted for me to be treated that way and really stuck up for me. It was surprising and deeply appreciated. I want to keep a good relationship with them all if I can.

 

My sister had to get hydrated again today, while she was there they told her she would feel worse each treatment. We were hoping for better each time. Hope she can make it through this. She has 2 more to go.

 

Had a friend stop over with some food for dinner, she said 2 of our other friends and her were going to Olive Garden on Monday for one of their birthdays and asked me to come too. I think I might do it.

 

How was your mini vacation over Labor Day?

Edited September 10, 2015 by timeormoney

[Belle]

Do go out with your friends. It will be fine.

You can talk about Bill and everything if you want.

If you cry you cry.

 

I belong to a Bunco group, I went after my

husband died. It's good to be with friends.

Doesn't change how you feel about him and things

but nice to be with friends. It's a first step.

[mstrc1]

Sharon, I did get out early on Friday and we made good time going up. But on Monday, it was a disaster with traffic and we left early. But we did stop at my father's restaurant in MI. It is not open anymore and the place has been for sale for some 6 year now. My dad has been gone for 41 years. I used to work there in my younger years, and we had a place right on the lake.

 

That is good if you can stay good with some of them, but it would be a far stretch if you could stay good with all of them. If your lawyer can take care of most things, then that will take you away of all of the BS that they would put you through. Agreed that Bill would not want you to be going through those things.

 

You should be going out with your friends. If they are there for you, then be there for them as well. Your sister will need her family to help pull her through these last 2 treatments. All you can do is pray for her that she does well.

 

 

Kathy

[timeormoney]

Is the restaurant still in your family and they have it for sale?

I got the trust resignation letters from the lawyer today and got them in the mail to all the beneficiaries. I kept two of them because I think Bill's son and one daughter will be back in town over the weekend. I want to tell them why I am resigning. I told the son that does all the maintenance that he should no longer write checks but rather use his own money and put in the receipts for reimbursement from the trust. He says he is going to keep writing checks as he doesn't want to wait to get his money back. He also pays himself every week and wants to have that keep coming in. Nothing I can do so it will be up to the others to get that straightened out.

 

I think the fun will be starting soon. I went to the farm kind of late yesterday, around 6 or so. Saw a strange car parked there. Was surpprised to see one of Bill's daughters, her daughter and her friend in the house. They were surprised as well to see me. They told me they were reliving memories.

 

Hope all is going well (as can be expected) at work for you.

 

I can't even stand to go on that Pulmonary Fibrosis website anymore and read about everones hope of getting better.

[mstrc1]

Sharon, the house and the restaurant was sold many years ago to the people who own it now. The restaurant was closed about 6 years ago and it has been up for sale ever since.

 

You should get the locks changed there at the farm. I expect some of those daughter's to just move in and think they will live there rent free. But things will really start to get crazy. Let your own lawyer handle everything so you do not have to get yourself upset.

 

Lots of rain today and tomorrow and much cooler. I just have to deal with the jerk and this place as best as I can.

 

Piece,

 

 

Kathy

[timeormoney]

Just a long day and now a quiet long night. Didn't see or hear from the two I thought I would hear from today, maybe tomorrow.

 

yes, cool here today too, have to get some gas for the mower tomorrow, will need to cut again in the next day or so. Luckily the gas is dowm to $3.29 a gal now.

[mstrc1]

Sharon, I do not think that you will be cutting the grass today. But maybe you will, if it is not raining there. We are right in the band of rain and it is raining hard and steady here. Also temps only in the 50's just now.

 

Due to the weather they have canceled the golf outing scheduled today at the club. But they are still having the fish fry as scheduled at 5, and then bingo at 7. So we will do that today. Otherwise, just too wet and damp to be doing anything else outside.

 

So who where you talking about the 2 coming over, your friends or 2 of Bill's kids. I would think that those kids will not be coming around anymore, until it is time to have the reading of the will. That is too bad.

 

Take good care of yourself and always remember, that you are the most important person.

 

 

Kathy

[timeormoney]

The two are Bill's son and daughter. They came today I told them I was resigning as trustee from the trust. The daughter has wanted to get in on it from the beginning so now she can.Only thing is she thinks she is really good and plans to make spread sheets for everything but usually the only gets things half way done. I told them I would show them how the bookwork was done and even offered to do the rents and checks and they could come down and sign them. However they said they do not want me to even go in the farm until they come down on Saturdays. Then I am to help them some more. Its all I can do to be civil to them, the son keeps saying we want everyone to be happy. I'm getting pretty sick of hearing that every 5 minutes. Seems funny all of a sudden they don't trust me to be in the farm house anymore, I'm wondering if all the other kids can trust them if they want to do it all in private.

 

I bet you didn't eat any fish at the club, did you? Nice they have those extra things going on. I did get see ome grass cut today, might finish it up tomorrow, not sure. Everything seems so worthless to do without Bill here.

 

Thanks Belle I did agree to go to lunch Monday with my friends. I have lost around 15 pounds but also look like I have aged 15 years.