Rare aimcat Posted December 8, 2011 #1 Share Posted December 8, 2011 My husband and I have been on a cruise 4 times now. So we love cruises. Ok, so 2 christmases ago I gave my parents and younger sister a gift from my husband and I - a 7 day cruise on Carnival Dream. Long story short my mother and sister were thrilled and my Dad not so much. (he is very reluctant and close minded about the idea of cruises) However 2 months prior to the cruise departing they couldnt go due to some work issues. Well now this is 2 years later and I would like to attempt this again. I am wanting to get my grandfather the trip as well. Basically what I am giving is the deposit plus a little more - them pay rest and excursions, etc. I am buying 7 people's cruise deposits so thats basically the best I can do - Im not made of money! So does this sound like a good present? Or good idea? How do I get my father on board with cruising when he is so close minded about it? He always says - I dont want to be trapped on a ship for 7 days and I dont want to have to conform to all the plans they make for you. Ughhhh. He really has no idea no matter how much you tell him how it all works. My next question is - would this even be good for my grandfather? He is 84 and can get around but cannot handle a lot of steps and cannot handle a ton of walking. I cant really recall but do the cruise ships have scooters or wheel chairs? Just in case? What would your thoughts on this be? Next questions - we have only ever cruised with Carnival. For the money they have always seemed like a wonderful deal. We were thinking of doing the 7 day western caribbean because we have already done the 7 day eastern and this would change it up for us and they have never been so all gravy there. This would be on the Carnival Dream - which we have been on also. I really wanted to do RC but they are so much more? Thoughts? Next is I am sure that my sister will want her boyfriend to go - she is 22 and her and her boyfriend do not stay in the same room together - parents rules. How do we get around getting him a single room and him having to really pay double? To me putting my parents, him, and sister in a room together seems way to cramped? Def do not want the akwardness of him in same room as us and neither my grandfather. Ideas? or no way around this? Sorry know this is long winded! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6rugrats Posted December 8, 2011 #2 Share Posted December 8, 2011 No, this does not sound as if it's a good idea to me. It sounds as if you want to give someone a gift that they don't really want, and that they will have to finish paying for. It's way too complicated. Buy something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddieCruzer Posted December 8, 2011 #3 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Terrible idea. Giving a gift that someone will have to pay thousands to redeem, that is not a gift at all. If you can't afford to pay for the entire cruise you should look to other options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leesie6351 Posted December 8, 2011 #4 Share Posted December 8, 2011 cruising is not for everyone. If you were actually paying for the cruise for your parents, you could try it, but to just pay the deposit and then expect your father/mother and everyone else to pay the balance is frankly very tacky especially when your dad does not want to go. This is not a gift!!! Also, to be honest, Carnival is not the line of choice for older folks. It's great for the younger adults but typically, older adults prefer RCL, Celebrity, princess or HAL. (especially your grandparents). There is indeed a lot of walking on the ships-especially the larger ships and megaships and there are wheelchairs but they have to be requested in advance. If you do go, try to get cabins as close to midship as possible so they would only ever have to walk half the ship to get where they are going. My advice to you is to find another gift and continue showing your dad brochures etc to get him interested. don't expect him to like what you like. Do you like everything he likes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt_83 Posted December 8, 2011 #5 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I hate gifts that require me to pay something down the road or that make work for me. If you want your parents to go on a cruise so bad, plan it with them, not for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitty9 Posted December 8, 2011 #6 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Not a good idea at all. Look at it this way: How would you feel if someone gave you an expensive watch, but required you to pay 80% of the price? Would you be happy, especially if you really couldn't afford it? I sure wouldn't. Plus, it sounds more like you want to take this cruise, and not everyone else? If that's the case, you go on the cruise and give the family different gifts. Seriously, you really can't expect people to pay for something like a cruise when they're not expecting to do it. It's just not fair. Do you know for a fact that the boyfriend even has the money to pay for everything else? But if you insist on still doing this, there's no way to get around the single supplement, and putting four adults in one cabin is a very bad idea, especially an unmarried couple with grandparents. Very uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tetra Posted December 8, 2011 #7 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I'm sorry, I understand wanting to share something you love with your family. But even if you were paying for the entire cruise for all of them, it still wouldn't be a good idea as a surprise Christmas gift, given that one family member is adamant about not wanting to cruise, and one is very elderly and has trouble getting around. Giving them all a financial obligation of thousands of dollars each....that's really not a gift at all. That puts pressure on the recipient to spend a LOT of money (that they may have been planning to use for other things) to avoid hurting your feelings. Not to mention, if they're working, using vacation time that they may have had other plans for. Why make it a gift? Just plan a cruise with your mother and sister. Do the research on cruising with mobility-impaired guests, and then ask your grandfather if he'd like to come along. Make it clear to your father that he's welcome to come along, once he sees what your mother and sister are planning he may change his mind. Or, he may not. As others have said, cruising is not for everyone. I loved my first cruise, I can't wait to take another one. I'm pretty sure my mom would enjoy cruising. I'm absolutely sure that my dad would hate every minute of it. No way would I even try to convince him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb at sea Posted December 8, 2011 #8 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I would get something you KNOW they would enjoy....cruising....even any "vacation" isn't for everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul929207 Posted December 8, 2011 #9 Share Posted December 8, 2011 You tried once and the bottom line is they decided not to go. I agree with the others, find a present they will like. Also, you are paying a couple of hundred per person and forcing them to pay $500 to $1000 or even more each. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare aimcat Posted December 8, 2011 Author #10 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I guess I should have explained better - when I got the cruise 2 years ago I paid for the entire thing and they got very livid with that and only let me pay the deposit. I mean they have money - they are well off parents. So I was paying at least the deposit because I know for a fact they will not let me pay for all of it - which I could for sure but they wont let me. So thats why I was only doing deposits. Even my sister will not let me pay for all of hers. They are just proud in that way I suppose. But, wow, yeah after reading your comments I didnt realize what a dipsh*t idea that was truely. I love love love to be giving so I just felt like this was an awesome gift. Guess not. This was basically all I could give them because they were refusing to take any gifts this year and they really have everything you could imagine. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aohkay Posted December 8, 2011 #11 Share Posted December 8, 2011 I guess I should have explained better - when I got the cruise 2 years ago I paid for the entire thing and they got very livid with that and only let me pay the deposit. I mean they have money - they are well off parents. So I was paying at least the deposit because I know for a fact they will not let me pay for all of it - which I could for sure but they wont let me. So thats why I was only doing deposits. Even my sister will not let me pay for all of hers. They are just proud in that way I suppose. But, wow, yeah after reading your comments I didnt realize what a dipsh*t idea that was truely. I love love love to be giving so I just felt like this was an awesome gift. Guess not. This was basically all I could give them because they were refusing to take any gifts this year and they really have everything you could imagine. :confused: Sounds like you love to cruise and so do I. Sometimes we find it dificult to believe everyone else doesn't love it as much. :) As hard as that is to fathom, not everyone does. Your family obviously doesn't want to spend the money on the cost of a cruise and it sounds like they don't want you to either. What about taking them all out for a really nice dinner, or get them a gift certificate for a nice restaurant and they can go when it suits them. Tickets to a play...gift certificate for house cleaning services. Your heart sounds it's in the right place; good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worm61 Posted December 8, 2011 #12 Share Posted December 8, 2011 No i wouldn't do it unless it was only for a couple of nights & i fully paid for it & they wanted to go .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6rugrats Posted December 8, 2011 #13 Share Posted December 8, 2011 This was basically all I could give them because they were refusing to take any gifts this year and they really have everything you could imagine. :confused: Thanks for coming back and explaining. Can you make them something? Bake treats? Frame a favorite picture? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaldsc Posted December 9, 2011 #14 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Lets see how wonderful your offer is - 1) Some of the people who who are dropping the gift on do not really want to go on the cruise; 2) You are only paying for a small amount of the total cost and will be sticking them for the rest; 3) there are social issues that make the accommodations more complicated. Surely you can see that this is a horrible terrible really lousy idea. DON Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love.II.Cruise Posted December 9, 2011 #15 Share Posted December 9, 2011 So you said they have everything... Sounds like gift giving is really difficult. Sounds like you love to cruise and you think your family might like it. Why don't you suggest that next year all of you go on a cruise together and skip Christmas? Don't do decorations at home and don't buy gifts for each other. The trip is a gift to yourselves (each of you paying their own way). You decide as a group where to go. As for your 22 year old sister who would be 23, I'd be surprised at how long your parents can control her if she is truly on her own and doesn't need their financial or spiritual support. She is an adult and can make her own decisions (whether she decides to battle her parents on it or not about being with her BF). If she is still under the parents, that is a different story and perhaps she shouldn't go on the cruise with you and your parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie51 Posted December 9, 2011 #16 Share Posted December 9, 2011 I agree with the others...bad idea all around. Go on a cruise by yourself if you love cruising and give them something else. Too many complications in your plans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted December 9, 2011 #17 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Personally, I never get pleasure from a gift that forces me to either do something I didn't voluntary opt to do or to spend money in order for the gift to be 'activated'. That, to me, is a burden, not a gift. If you want them (or some of them) to sail with you, simply ask them if they wish to. If they want to, you can all choose what cruise, what price, what date etc and no one will feel 'put upon'. Hope it works out for you in the way you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaskanb Posted December 10, 2011 #18 Share Posted December 10, 2011 How do your parents like to vacation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCC retired Posted December 10, 2011 #19 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Merry Xmas ! Here is your deposit , now you pay the rest yourselves! Throw away this gift idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madelinerose Posted December 11, 2011 #20 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I think you already know that this is a bad idea all the way around! Ugh, "Merry Christmas, Dad, here's your bill." :rolleyes: You want to "give a gift" to someone who doesn't want the gift and to another someone who is physically limited and then ask them to pay for the majority of it? :confused: You would be better off giving them each a sweater. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madelinerose Posted December 11, 2011 #21 Share Posted December 11, 2011 ...they were refusing to take any gifts this year and they really have everything you could imagine. :confused: Not sure why you feel compelled to give them gifts if they don't want them? Gift giving shouldn't feel contrived. Again, their no means no. Skip the gifts. Then, after the 24 hours that is Christmas Day, take them all to an upscale restaurant for dinner after all the holiday insanity has ended and everyone is bored and pick up the full tab, including tip. Mid-January would be great! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookiebird Posted December 12, 2011 #22 Share Posted December 12, 2011 @aimcat: Your heart is in the right place but by now you know your gift idea just isn't a good one. Since, as you say, they refuse to take any gifts this year and have everything one could imagine how about making a contribution to a charity in their name. It's something we started in our family a number of years ago and really is a gift that keeps on giving. Merry Christmas!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Althearose Posted December 12, 2011 #23 Share Posted December 12, 2011 I agree, your heart is in the right place. That being said, I will share with you that my mother booked a cruise for the family that is due to depart on 12/23. It's absolutely blowing up due to family dynamics, and I have decided to stay home. She wishes she had never booked the cruise and I wish I had never said yes. The road to h*ll is paved with good intentions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krazy Kruizers Posted December 13, 2011 #24 Share Posted December 13, 2011 JMO -- it's a bad idea to put down deposits on something that people may not want and may not have the money to pay off the rest of the balance due. Choose other gifts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zookiebird Posted December 13, 2011 #25 Share Posted December 13, 2011 @althearose: Sorry to hear that you've decided not to go on your family cruise. None of my business but wouldn't there be enough "me time" for you to avoid a lot of the dynamics? We've taken 2 family cruises. Our golden rule is that everybody goes their own way during the day. Sometimes our paths cross, sometimes they don't but its our individual choices to do what we want. We all meet for cocktails and dinner. No problems. Maybe we're lucky but it works for us. Hope you can work things out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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