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Suzieanna

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I may have got the Pizza Hut app mixed up with Grindr.

 

Either way, there’s a 10-Inch Vegetarian on its way and I’m not sure what to expect.

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My wife says sex is better when you’re on holiday.

 

To be honest that’s not the nicest postcard I’ve ever received.

Edited by Tothesunset

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If you hold half a coconut shell to your ear you can hear the sound of a one-legged horse standing still.

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At work we aren't allowed to do any product testing on animals any more.

 

Fair enough, i suppose. I work in a hammer factory.

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Apparently Boo is the Australian Aboriginal word meaning return or come back.

 

After all, when you throw a normal meringue....

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Apparently Boo is the Australian Aboriginal word meaning return or come back.

 

After all, when you throw a normal meringue....

 

Grooooooaaaaaan

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

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I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

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Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another.

 

Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom.

 

“Tom what’s going on?” Mark asked.

 

“It’s my wife Beckie,” Tom replied. “She ran off with my best friend!”

 

“Hey wait a second! Said Mark “Aren’t I your best friend?”

 

“Not any more,” Tom said with a happy smile.

 

“He is!”

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A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender tells him to get out.

The mushroom says, “why? I’m a fun-guy.”

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A man walks into a bar obviously stone drunk, and asks for a drink. Sorry the bartender but you obviously already had a little to much to drink. Fuming mad the drunk walks out the front door and walks into the side door. “Can I have a drink please.” “Sorry” the bartender says “but you can’t have a drink here.” The drink walks out and goes in through the back door. “Can I please have a drink.” “Enough!” The bartender screamed “I told You No Drinks!” The Drunk looks at the bartender closely and exclaimed “Darn! how many bars you work at.”

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