suesings Posted October 23, 2016 #101 Share Posted October 23, 2016 A special thank you to cml4958 for cleaning up my prior post and reposting it. I don't know what got into me, perhaps it was the horror of recollecting those soul scarring events, or perhaps it was the Goslings Black Seal rum that I purchased here in the states as opposed to Bermuda... Day 3 The Manhattan Room: After watching the cyclic on-board events played on the Breakaway Channel, I got ready for dinner at the Manhattan Room. I was aware of the restaurants location at the aft of the ship and, considering my admiral ranking membership in my local Star Fleet chapter, I should have anticipated the turbulence at the rear. We arrived dressed casually smart expecting to be immediately seated as per our prior reservations. Instead we were met by yet another line. Several people were clothed as though they were coming from a wedding! I felt a bit under dressed with my short sleeved button up shirt and "suns out buns out" tie. We patiently waited, but soon saw that there was a second line forming to our starboard side. A flock of elderly woman rudely pushed past and demanded their reservations be honored by the hostess working the front of the house. Seeing this, I too moved ahead. The young woman soon seeing that she was quickly being overcome by those who had the forethought to reserve quickly found tables for the elderly group. Shortly thereafter we too were seated...at the very rear beside the stage. As we sat awaiting our server, I felt the ship rising and falling acutely. I made the mistake of looking out the aft window to the rocking dusk touched ocean and became suddenly ill. I knew i needed to reach the nearest public rest facility as surely I could not not make it to the cabin, not with the outrageous elevator delays. I didn't say a word to my family, for there was no time, as I backed out and rolled as fast as I could to the exit. In doing so I struck a nearby table, spilling a fancy looking drink complete with a skewered baby gherkin, celery and an olive. The couple sitting there were blessedly understanding. I made it to the nearest bathroom without further incident just in time. For the first time during the trip I was without appetite. I decided to go out on deck eight for some air, it was dark and I crashed into the giant chess set. Thankfully I was alone when it happened. I breathed deeply as I rolled away from the toppled pieces, hoping that Rock of Ages would turn this day around. (To be continued) Happily still following!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NH Cruisers Posted October 23, 2016 #102 Share Posted October 23, 2016 I have tripped over them pawns in the dark too. Only my laughing 22 YO son looking on! Pow! too the Moon I felt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gershep Posted October 24, 2016 #103 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Enjoying your review, following!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fineaswine Posted October 24, 2016 Author #104 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Day 3 Rock of Ages:We had made reservations for the 9:30 pm Rock of Ages performance. This reviewer would like to stress the importance of arriving early to events taking place in the creatively titled Breakaway Theater. We chose to attempt entry at 9 pm exactly one half hour prior to curtains up. I had to park my mobility scooter before entering the theater. I walked down the narrow steps to the third row center. My wife and three children entered before me so that I could have access to the aisle should there be a bathroom emergency. We tucked in, I loosened my tie as my neck was beginning to sweat profusely with anticipation. I was very excited to see this show as I was certain it would provide the quality family entertainment that until this point, was sorely missing from our vacation. The lights lowered and a booming voice came on speaker, it was one of the performers giving pre show rules about not taking recordings during the show and the the usual pre show flash photography speech. I paid it little mind, as I had become obsessed with a new bottle flipping app and tuned out the specifics. I made it to my max of 12 flips by the time the show began. The music started and lights swirled, it was show time at last. I would like to say that if you have children, or any sense of decency, that YOU SHOULD NOT go to see Rock of Ages. Pole dancers in a Broadway show aboard a cruise ship!! References to abnormally large "body parts", and that hungry hungry hippos joke at the end was just shocking!!! I stared, first chin atop my second at the nearly pornographic spectacle taking place. And the music!! It was billed as Rock of Ages, but the only ages that I witnessed were between 1980 and 1989. The performances of said limited era music were, I must admit, exceptional. This does not however excuse the lewd displays!! Norwegian should have been far more proactive and forthcoming in stating the raunchy nature of the show and, that if one had children that they should at least consider leaving them with the guppies and or entourage. The show ended on the ship yes, but the echos of those performances lived on. I received a phone call at work from my children's school saying that my two oldest were emulating some of the scenes witness during RoA. Namely tossing invisible, over sized "body parts" over their shoulders and walking about awkwardly much to their classmates amusements, and their teachers displeasure. After the "performance" we returned to the cabin and called it a night. The ship would be arriving in Cape Canaveral the next day. Hip hip Hooray... (to be continued) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter48 Posted October 24, 2016 #105 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I was on this cruise and the OP's description was accurate. What was not mentioned was NCL gave a $200.00 cabin credit for the change in itinerary, that was a joke and insulting. We, who were aboard paid for three night in Bermuda, one of the reasons the Bermuda loop is so much more expensive is the port fees. NCL changed the itinerary to a Bahama's trip. Port fees are much less in Nassau as the Breakaway is homeported/registered there. Port Canaveral's fees Don't even approach the Bermuda fees. BTW Both Ports were still recovering from Hurricane Matthew. Nassau's shops weren't open for the most part and Port Canaveral had just gotten their light/power back the day before we arrived. When we boarded on Sunday we were told there MIGHT be an Itinerary change and were never given the opportunity or option to reschedule or rebook our cruise. It's my feeling we're entitled to a refund of Bermuda Port Fees and perhaps a cruise credit for a future cruise. Our travel agent is of the same opinion. so we'll see what pans out. The Breakaway is overcrowded and under staffed. The crew makes the best of what they have but the ship itself is enough to put you off on cruising on "MegaShips" ever again, and considering the direction NCL is going perhaps not on NCL again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane123boys Posted October 24, 2016 #106 Share Posted October 24, 2016 but I think we were all just a bit bitter inside after dishing out a lot of money to sail to Florida, the Johnson of U.S. Sorry but being a Johnson (by "marriage" ) I must say I am a bit insulted by this!! I guess , Smith or Jones werent available at your finger tips? :eek: And by the way? I LOVE Florida but maybe its because I live in Northern NH :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newmexicoNita Posted October 24, 2016 #107 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Any post with vulgarity. Disguised or not is automatically removed thanks Star. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeyetlse Posted October 24, 2016 #108 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Sorry but being a Johnson (by "marriage" ) I must say I am a bit insulted by this!! I guess , Smith or Jones werent available at your finger tips? :eek:I think you should have maybe run this by your husband before posting it… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montecarloss Posted October 24, 2016 #109 Share Posted October 24, 2016 "I think you should have maybe run this by your husband before posting it…" LOL:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocklinmom Posted October 24, 2016 #110 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Fineaswine, thank you for continuing my morning entertainment. And thanks for the warning about Rock of Ages, I would have freaked with my thirteen year old daughter in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroozbuddy Posted October 24, 2016 #111 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I was on this cruise and the OP's description was accurate. What was not mentioned was NCL gave a $200.00 cabin credit for the change in itinerary, that was a joke and insulting. We, who were aboard paid for three night in Bermuda, one of the reasons the Bermuda loop is so much more expensive is the port fees. NCL changed the itinerary to a Bahama's trip. Port fees are much less in Nassau as the Breakaway is homeported/registered there. Port Canaveral's fees Don't even approach the Bermuda fees. BTW Both Ports were still recovering from Hurricane Matthew. Nassau's shops weren't open for the most part and Port Canaveral had just gotten their light/power back the day before we arrived. When we boarded on Sunday we were told there MIGHT be an Itinerary change and were never given the opportunity or option to reschedule or rebook our cruise. It's my feeling we're entitled to a refund of Bermuda Port Fees and perhaps a cruise credit for a future cruise. Our travel agent is of the same opinion. so we'll see what pans out. The Breakaway is overcrowded and under staffed. The crew makes the best of what they have but the ship itself is enough to put you off on cruising on "MegaShips" ever again, and considering the direction NCL is going perhaps not on NCL again. I was also on that sailing, and we were all given $29 of refundable credit given back for the port fees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jpcdds6 Posted October 24, 2016 #112 Share Posted October 24, 2016 (edited) Now THAT is funny. (The comment about the Johnson). Edited October 24, 2016 by jpcdds6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare blackwing Posted October 24, 2016 #113 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I was on this cruise and the OP's description was accurate. What was not mentioned was NCL gave a $200.00 cabin credit for the change in itinerary, that was a joke and insulting. We, who were aboard paid for three night in Bermuda, one of the reasons the Bermuda loop is so much more expensive is the port fees. NCL changed the itinerary to a Bahama's trip. Port fees are much less in Nassau as the Breakaway is homeported/registered there. Port Canaveral's fees Don't even approach the Bermuda fees. BTW Both Ports were still recovering from Hurricane Matthew. Nassau's shops weren't open for the most part and Port Canaveral had just gotten their light/power back the day before we arrived. When we boarded on Sunday we were told there MIGHT be an Itinerary change and were never given the opportunity or option to reschedule or rebook our cruise. It's my feeling we're entitled to a refund of Bermuda Port Fees and perhaps a cruise credit for a future cruise. Our travel agent is of the same opinion. so we'll see what pans out. The Breakaway is overcrowded and under staffed. The crew makes the best of what they have but the ship itself is enough to put you off on cruising on "MegaShips" ever again, and considering the direction NCL is going perhaps not on NCL again.It sounds like you did get your port fees back, according to another poster. I sympathize about the unexpected change in itinerary, but you chose to book a cruise during hurricane season. Your cruise departed New York on Sunday October 9 and if you had followed any of the news in the days leading up to your departure, wouldn't you have been aware of a major hurricane that hit the Caribbean and Florida? I believe by Sunday the 9th it had moved up to North Carolina. It's not unexpected that it would have caused some issues for Bermuda. I guess one option would have been for you to cancel and reschedule your cruise... isn't that what trip insurance is for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fineaswine Posted October 24, 2016 Author #114 Share Posted October 24, 2016 (edited) Day 4 Cape Canaveral part 1: We sailed into Cape Canaveral in the wee hours of the morning. I was up early, a new tactic in my unending conflict with the Garden cafe. It seemed to have paid off, for at 7:30, most of the drink package lushes were still sleeping off the night before. I had full prechild access to the eggs Benedict and the delightful bite sized salmon mousse morsels, of which I seized a full plate of each. I filled a mug with Norwegian Joe and rolled forth to see our new itinerary destination. I was, i must say, aw struck. Tankers of sea water? Oil? Who knows?! For Cape Canaveral is a place of many mysteries. The air was saturated with the unmistakable scent of...Florida. I sipped my coffee slowly and looked on with squinting eyes and a solemn heart, for the dream of Bermuda was at last dead. Yes I knew that we had changed coarse, yes I knew that I would not swizzle in nor swizzle out as I had done in my youth. No, this moment was when the grim totality of the situation was laid bare. Atop this realization I looked to the horizon and saw the darkened clouds. I finished my plates, too disheartened to collect a third, let alone fourth, and drank down the last of my cup of NoJo. I rolled on back to the cabin to collect the family and await our brief shore excursion. Low on options and desperate, I, like many others sought to make use of the laughable 200 on board credits through the altered shore excursions. The possibilities were endless, get driven to the gates of Disney, Universal, the space museum (tickets sold separately) or the beach. I did the math, the time constraints versus the money out put was far beyond what 200 credit could buy 5 full paying passengers. We chose the beach, grabbing our towels, snorkels and spf. The announcement for debarking came over the PA. We made our way to the line. The expressions on the faces of our fellow passengers said it all...and then it began to rain... (to be continued) Edited October 24, 2016 by Fineaswine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Don Posted October 24, 2016 #115 Share Posted October 24, 2016 NoJo, :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sotermarler Posted October 25, 2016 #116 Share Posted October 25, 2016 "And then it began to rain...". Oh no! That sucks, sorry. Sent from my iPhone using Forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason82 Posted October 25, 2016 #117 Share Posted October 25, 2016 (edited) This thread has completely made my day! I would like to think it is for satire and entertainment, but I doubt it. ETA: I do not delight in the misery of others, but the way this is written is entertaining and provides great visuals. Edited October 25, 2016 by Jason82 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgdesign Posted October 25, 2016 #118 Share Posted October 25, 2016 (edited) Cape Canaveral is a place of many mysteries... the grim totality of the situation was laid bare... NoJo... and then it began to rain... Simply priceless :) Edited October 25, 2016 by lgdesign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fineaswine Posted October 25, 2016 Author #119 Share Posted October 25, 2016 Cape Canaveral Pt 2: The rain began to fall, as though the heavens themselves wept on the receiving end of 200 on board credits with a scant few hours to spend them. The words "Its raining" carried through the line from front to rear like a crowd wave during a rugby match, minus the joy. I looked at the man in charge of debarking. He looked quite sad to deliver the self evident news to the unwashed masses. Many turned back, shaking their heads in disbelief, faces contorted by the tang of sour grapes. My wife asked if we should do the same. I looked at my youngest, who just stared off, too broken to summon a tear. I shook my head and shouted "No!" which drew the attention of nearby cruisers. I quickly lowered my voice before continuing. "We will make the best of this day, it may not be Bermuda, but it is still vacations." We waited in line a little longer, until we were directed off of the ship. The transition into the sunshine state was at least relatively easy. We were soon at a terminal and on a bus to Cocoa Beach. The ride was very stimulating. I was kicking myself the whole way as I had left my Iphone back on the ship and was thus unable to take shots of the surrounding land marks such as Mc Donalds, Super K-mart and a beautifully maintained Sunoco. I was also kicking myself for missing the port shopping consultation with Shannon, as without professional guidance I would surely flounder. At last we arrived at a bus stop... Getting out, the family and I braved the high winds on our way to the beach proper. There we saw many towels of Norwegian make. I could see that the families and the young and unburdened couples tried to make the best of things as we did. The rain came and went, the sand blasted and buried our towels, but not our spirits. However, I was still removing it from my folding regions for days to come. A few hours later, we had saw as much of Cape Canaveral as we did, and that was more than enough. Setting a course for the bus stop we waited a short time and where whisked back to the Breakaway; sand encrusted and slightly burnt. (to be continued) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ottoflash Posted October 25, 2016 #120 Share Posted October 25, 2016 I totally understand that this is supposed to be a satire review, but I want to say one thing. I can't tell you how many times it is announced that Rock of Ages is for adults and those under 18 are not permitted. It is even posted as you enter the theater. Both times we went to the show, there were young kids who, of course, the parents had to take out during the show, disturbing those around them. As a parent you should know what you are taking your kids to see. I also think that NCL should not allow the kids into the theater in the first place, if they say no one under 18 allowed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NH Cruisers Posted October 25, 2016 #121 Share Posted October 25, 2016 And to think I went on a week vacation to FLA and spent a day in Cape Canaveral willfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pe4all Posted October 25, 2016 #122 Share Posted October 25, 2016 The rain came and went, the sand blasted and buried our towels, but not our spirits. However, I was still removing it from my folding regions for days to come.(to be continued) OMG - I didn't think your review could get any better, but it just did! DH just came into the room to see what I was laughing about! More, more, more!!:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistimeplease Posted October 25, 2016 #123 Share Posted October 25, 2016 I've been following this review and have to stop. I find none of it amusing other than the fact that the OP finds that NCL is responsible for everything they didn't enjoy about the cruise. Maybe cruising isn't for the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pieshops Posted October 25, 2016 #124 Share Posted October 25, 2016 I've been following this review and have to stop. I find none of it amusing other than the fact that the OP finds that NCL is responsible for everything they didn't enjoy about the cruise. Maybe cruising isn't for the OP. Please lighten up, this is tongue in cheek and very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocklinmom Posted October 25, 2016 #125 Share Posted October 25, 2016 OMG what a stick in the mud! If you don't like it, don't read it. Let the rest of us enjoy it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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