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tennboy1981

Unfriendly gays on cruises

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I wish the OP would be a bit more specific.

In what way were the other gay passengers standoffish?

Did the OP approach them, say hello, and not get a response?

Is it possible, as the OP is single, that some of the other gay passengers didn't perceive him to be gay?

Is it also possible, since there were so many "rednecks", that some of the gay passengers felt a bit uncomfortable and perhaps not as outgoing as they otherwise may have been?

 

My husband and I have sailed on a number of Carnival, Cunard, and Oceania trips (as well as a few other one-offs).

We never find that other gay travelers are more or less standoffish. We do tend to say "hi" to or smile at pretty much anyone we pass in a corridor or sit next to on a deck, restaurant, or bar. But we don't go out of our way to introduce ourselves to other gay people. Maybe it's because we live in NYC and encounter gay people pretty much every 10 seconds.

In our regular lives, more than 90% of our friends are straight. So I wouldn't expect that the people we end up hanging out with on a ship would be any different.

All that said, we did have an amazing experience on a Cunard Panama Canal crossing a few years ago. We had a gigantic wraparound aft terrace and ended up meeting over 20 people at a FOD party in the days before the crossing. On crossing day, every one of them (and a bunch of non-FOD types) ended up on our terrace for hours and we did have an amazing time. It was a perfect mix of gay and straight with lots of fun and zero judgment!

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Mark, Could it be, if you don't introduce yourself, that you might come across as standoffish? Not suggesting you talk to everyone. Not sure if OP but there was a good example shared of how people come across that way.

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Hi everyone... We are avid cruisers (36/35 cruises) and my husband of 34 years (I was so young when we met :D) tells me I could have a conversation with a brick wall...:D

 

We usually travel on Princess or Celebrity (Hi keithm - good to see you). They have always been excellent lines (treated us really well - now Elite in both) and we usually meet straight and gay - couples and singles. We have run across gay people that are a "bit" snobbish and keep to themselves. We are always are a bit surprised by that. We do agree that placement of the LGBT meetings should be at a quiet out of the way bar, as some people might be shy or afraid (i.e. "straight husbands") to come if it is in an open area.

 

We are there to have a good time, so it never causes us a problem. As I know many gay people like NCL, we went once and the food and service left a lot to be desired (that must be the snob in me :cool:). The stateroom and entertainment was very good on NCL. We have not returned since.

 

We all usually find our niche. We were on Oceania last summer for 16 days TA from MIA to Rome and we had a wonderful time, but we had been on one Oceania cruise previously and were very disappointed. It was several years until we returned. Everyone has different experiences - we just try to go with the flow.. Happy cruising and holiday season to all!!!

Hi, Neil& Jerry! Good to hear from you! We're on the Riviera Jan.12-23 & on the Reflection for a 14 day trip Jan. 4(2019) as the Eclipse will no longer be doing the Caribbean 14 day trips.Richard wanted something different, so we're giving Oceania a try. Still like Celebrity's itinerary. The 14 day cruises they offer are a nice sweet spot for us. We hope they don't discontinue that. Food this past Jan. was a real let down. I blame a new head chef. The Maître D forced him to go into the MDR(Eclipse) & explain the overall poor quality of the food.

I do find Celebrity could certainly do more for the LGBT as a whole. This past Jan. we didn't link up with anyone. We saw other couples, but they were not too social. Then again we're there for ourselves as well & not necessarily to find friends. Though it's nice when you do. The Regal Princess in 2016 had a great FOD the second week. The first week was a Trailer Trash Jamboree. There was a huge amount of Carolina Panther fans on board the first week.(Super bowl week) We've met couples who've tried NCL & say the same about the food. Plus, we like to dress up & NCL is certainly not noted for stylish dress.

Edited by keithm
correction

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I wish the OP would be a bit more specific.

In what way were the other gay passengers standoffish?

Did the OP approach them, say hello, and not get a response?

Is it possible, as the OP is single, that some of the other gay passengers didn't perceive him to be gay?

Is it also possible, since there were so many "rednecks", that some of the gay passengers felt a bit uncomfortable and perhaps not as outgoing as they otherwise may have been?

 

My husband and I have sailed on a number of Carnival, Cunard, and Oceania trips (as well as a few other one-offs).

We never find that other gay travelers are more or less standoffish. We do tend to say "hi" to or smile at pretty much anyone we pass in a corridor or sit next to on a deck, restaurant, or bar. But we don't go out of our way to introduce ourselves to other gay people. Maybe it's because we live in NYC and encounter gay people pretty much every 10 seconds.

In our regular lives, more than 90% of our friends are straight. So I wouldn't expect that the people we end up hanging out with on a ship would be any different.

All that said, we did have an amazing experience on a Cunard Panama Canal crossing a few years ago. We had a gigantic wraparound aft terrace and ended up meeting over 20 people at a FOD party in the days before the crossing. On crossing day, every one of them (and a bunch of non-FOD types) ended up on our terrace for hours and we did have an amazing time. It was a perfect mix of gay and straight with lots of fun and zero judgment!

 

 

 

Very well said.

 

I don’t think most gays on cruises are snobbish, I just think, they are like us and don’t wont to be put in that situation the OP was and always have to talk to a weirdo like he specified.

 

My BF and I have been on about 40 cruises and 8 different lines and when we can and especially feel like it will attend those LGBT meeting.

The problem with those meetings is you might have that person that is just looking for people to hang on with on vacation no matter what.

While your only looking to have a drink with people that might have the same interest in life as yours.

Not because we are gay necessarily means we all think alike.

 

Also OP don’t forget those other gays you see on cruise might just want time on their own or are with family or friends already and don’t need more people in the group.

 

The most important thing is like on land a nice hi and acknowledgement gets you always further gay or not.

 

 

 

 

 

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Very interesting read! I would say that our limited experience is in line with most of the rest of you... Meh... We may see other couples but haven't interacted with them. we went to a FOD meet-up on HAL a couple years ago. We (two lesbian couples) walked up to a group of guys and said "hi" . Couple guys said "Hi" back but they all basically stopped talking and none offered to move their chairs so we could join them so we were under the impression that it was a "closed" group or that they just didn't want to include Lesbians... either way, we walked on...

 

I think that in the last 5-10 years, LGBT is more mainstream and there is less of a need for community. I miss community of the old days. Where we fiercely loved and encouraged each other...

 

A few years ago, we moved to a very redneck community (for work) and we realize how dear our old friends are to us. We work harder to stay close to them to this day!

 

I hope we meet LGBT or Straight couples on our upcoming cruise in January (Costa) that will just enjoy our company and not be obsessed with how "different" we are! (ever notice how some straights always want to talk about your "gayness" when you are around?? Ha! Gets old!! Ha!!!)

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Very interesting read! I would say that our limited experience is in line with most of the rest of you... Meh... We may see other couples but haven't interacted with them. we went to a FOD meet-up on HAL a couple years ago. We (two lesbian couples) walked up to a group of guys and said "hi" . Couple guys said "Hi" back but they all basically stopped talking and none offered to move their chairs so we could join them so we were under the impression that it was a "closed" group or that they just didn't want to include Lesbians... either way, we walked on...

 

I think that in the last 5-10 years, LGBT is more mainstream and there is less of a need for community. I miss community of the old days. Where we fiercely loved and encouraged each other...

 

A few years ago, we moved to a very redneck community (for work) and we realize how dear our old friends are to us. We work harder to stay close to them to this day!

 

I hope we meet LGBT or Straight couples on our upcoming cruise in January (Costa) that will just enjoy our company and not be obsessed with how "different" we are! (ever notice how some straights always want to talk about your "gayness" when you are around?? Ha! Gets old!! Ha!!!)

 

I hope if we met on a cruise, we would get along. But there are so many straight couples, it's not surprising if you meet more of them.

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I hope if we met on a cruise, we would get along. But there are so many straight couples, it's not surprising if you meet more of them.

Me too!!!!

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In my years of cruising, we find straight couples more interesting and chatty. Gay couples just have too many Hang-Ups for me.

 

I don't see how you can make such a blanket statement.

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NCL have tended to have a bigger gay group, the meeting place is usually a quieter bar, so not swamped with other passengers meeting for a pre-dinner drink etc. RCL & Celebrity tend to be half hearted, a meeting point in the main bar at 7pm, the tables are taken up by straight passengers so there’s no chance to get chatting to fellow LGBT guests. Probably more likely to meet up in the sauna than in the bar!

 

If they hold a meeting at a place where everyone else can go, how do you know which people are there for the LGBT get together? Do they designate a special section of the bar?

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If they hold a meeting at a place where everyone else can go, how do you know which people are there for the LGBT get together? Do they designate a special section of the bar?

 

You don't know the secret handshake? :')

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You sashay into the bar, hands on your hips, and scream in a very high piercing gay voice, “Who here is a friend of Dorothy?!”

 

 

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We cruise quite a bit and have seen most of the things commented on above. A lot does have to do with the cruise line and the cruise and ship itself. And the itinerary . Some promote LGBT meetings, but have them between dinner services or at heavy traffic times where private spaces aren't available. Others don't promote at all. Much has to do with the cruise director. One thing we have noticed on many cruises that do have LGBT events is that gay people will walk by a small group but do not stop by to say hello. Just like in a gay bar or other event. And there are gays who do not socialize with others, just like with the straight crowd. Do you think 'gaydar' is real? Step up and say hello to someone. You may find you have it. or may find a nice straight friend. Doug

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My cruise buddy and I often get hit on by younger, single guys on Carnival when the gathering is held late night. Carnival often lists the gathering at 10 PM when most guests are at a show or gaming. We've also been part of lively before dinner gatherings on Princess when up to 30 men of divergent backgrounds came together for some story swapping and laughs.

Cheers!

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Kailua-Kona; Wow! Sure miss my home away from home! Now at my 2nd home in Santa Fe.

Next cruise is on the Star in Feb 2018 Miami to Los Angeles.

I can go solo or with friends, and have always felt comfy at FODs with straights that happen to be present by mistake or gays that are there intentionally.

 

Our experience has been positive on NCL in terms of meeting other gay couples and solo travelers, but this was facilitated by the posted LGBT (FOD) get togethers, occasionally hosted unofficially by someone from the CD staff. We had some fun impromptu events and dinners grow out of it.

 

On Azamara, we’ve met and talked to other gay couples... but on a smaller ship, it was more like, “hey, there’s another gay couple in the neighborhood.” However, friendly hellos were the norm.

 

On Crystal, most everybody was snooty, the other gay couples seemed especially standoffish when we would smile or nod.

 

On Avalon, there were no other gay couples were on our cruise, but we quickly became the sought after table mates for several straight couples, maybe for our brilliant and witty table conversation. It was so funny, even the entertainment they brought on seemed to gravitate toward us for drinks after their act... one singer even called us out in her act saying, “hey, my boys are here!” LOL.

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"I think that in the last 5-10 years, LGBT is more mainstream and there is less of a need for community. I miss community of the old days. Where we fiercely loved and encouraged each other... "

 

I agree with this statement. I noticed that on my last 2 NCL cruises the "Friends of Dorothy" gatherings were now simply listed as "LGBT Meet Up" or something similar. No longer any reason to hide behind the FOD code word.

 

We've done 7 cruises, 6 of them on NCL and for the most part do not go to the LGBT gatherings. Usually because we often find the times conflict with other things we want to do. I meant who puts Movie Trivia at the same time as the LGVT meet up! I think in general, a lot of gay people just play it safe when travelling. If approached in conversation, we find most to be friendly. We probably seem standoffish as we are a bit on the shy side until we get going!

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"I think that in the last 5-10 years, LGBT is more mainstream and there is less of a need for community. I miss community of the old days. Where we fiercely loved and encouraged each other... "

 

I agree with this statement. I noticed that on my last 2 NCL cruises the "Friends of Dorothy" gatherings were now simply listed as "LGBT Meet Up" or something similar. No longer any reason to hide behind the FOD code word.

 

We've done 7 cruises, 6 of them on NCL and for the most part do not go to the LGBT gatherings. Usually because we often find the times conflict with other things we want to do. I meant who puts Movie Trivia at the same time as the LGVT meet up! I think in general, a lot of gay people just play it safe when travelling. If approached in conversation, we find most to be friendly. We probably seem standoffish as we are a bit on the shy side until we get going!

 

What would you do if I walked up to you and said hello?

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What would you do if I walked up to you and said hello?

 

Most likely have a nice chat. If you or the conversation made us feel uncomfortable in anyway we may make a polite excuse to cut it short. Once we get started we're fine. Have met some wonderful people, gay and straight on cruises.

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I wish the OP would be a bit more specific.

In what way were the other gay passengers standoffish?

Did the OP approach them, say hello, and not get a response?

Is it possible, as the OP is single, that some of the other gay passengers didn't perceive him to be gay?

Is it also possible, since there were so many "rednecks", that some of the gay passengers felt a bit uncomfortable and perhaps not as outgoing as they otherwise may have been?

 

My husband and I have sailed on a number of Carnival, Cunard, and Oceania trips (as well as a few other one-offs).

We never find that other gay travelers are more or less standoffish. We do tend to say "hi" to or smile at pretty much anyone we pass in a corridor or sit next to on a deck, restaurant, or bar. But we don't go out of our way to introduce ourselves to other gay people. Maybe it's because we live in NYC and encounter gay people pretty much every 10 seconds.

In our regular lives, more than 90% of our friends are straight. So I wouldn't expect that the people we end up hanging out with on a ship would be any different.

All that said, we did have an amazing experience on a Cunard Panama Canal crossing a few years ago. We had a gigantic wraparound aft terrace and ended up meeting over 20 people at a FOD party in the days before the crossing. On crossing day, every one of them (and a bunch of non-FOD types) ended up on our terrace for hours and we did have an amazing time. It was a perfect mix of gay and straight with lots of fun and zero judgment!

 

Sure.

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I will cross my fingers and hold my breath, hoping that I meet some nice people. I hope they have the meeting at a decent time. I can always reschedule dinner.

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I will cross my fingers and hold my breath, hoping that I meet some nice people. I hope they have the meeting at a decent time. I can always reschedule dinner.

CCL LGBT activities usually don't start until 1030PM or later. Our last cruise we showed up at 1030.....waited until 1100 and not a single person showed up. Long past my bedtime. As usual, "gay time" is usually two hours later than regular time....vbg!

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CCL LGBT activities usually don't start until 1030PM or later. Our last cruise we showed up at 1030.....waited until 1100 and not a single person showed up. Long past my bedtime. As usual, "gay time" is usually two hours later than regular time....vbg!

 

Vbg? My bed time is 10.30. My partner isn't into dancing so we don't stay up late or go to clubs, even though it's how we met. Probably won't stay up late on the cruise, won't go dancing etc. I'd stay up late for the meetup but maybe not if I have to stay up til midnight.

 

A CC meet up will be planned, I'm sure. But maybe I should step up and organize the LGBT one? I have no idea how to check if someone else is already working on it.

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We usually meet some nice gay couples on cruises. On the one we took earlier this month on the Royal Princess, there were just a few who showed up for the LGBT meetings. We enjoyed talking with them at the meetings and seeing them about the ship at other times. But we also made friends with others on the cruise.

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We usually meet some nice gay couples on cruises. On the one we took earlier this month on the Royal Princess, there were just a few who showed up for the LGBT meetings. We enjoyed talking with them at the meetings and seeing them about the ship at other times. But we also made friends with others on the cruise.

 

So, you said meetings, how often were the meetings, every day maybe?

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So, you said meetings, how often were the meetings, every day maybe?

 

Princess usually schedules them daily, which consists of nothing more than putting a notice in the daily Patter. Sometimes a staffer shows up for the first one.

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It was interesting to read the OP. We were on a Celebrity cruise last year, and the LGBT cocktail hour was always in the Martini Bar area. It typically is a very busy area in the evening, as most of you that have cruised Celebrity would know. Most nights during the LGBT hour it seemed like any other evening at the Martini Bar- crowded with just about everyone on the ship lined up for a drink [emoji23][emoji23] BUT there was one particular night that we saw several other gay couples there, and none of them were socializing with each other. I sat and observed for a few minutes, but it definitely caught my attention- or I should say, the lack of conversation struck me as odd. There was one couple who came over and started to chat. We all ended up having dinner together that evening, but interestingly enough, they shared the same thoughts on what we saw that night at the cocktail hour.

 

 

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Hi Everyone - Like some of the other commentators, it really depends on how much you want to engage with others. My husband is extremely shy and I am a chatty but he wants to relax and have a quiet vacation and I'm happy to do the same. He works in a stressful environment and needs quiet time. We wouldn't go out of our way to be rude or anything but if we don't want to engage with people (straight or LGBT) that's our choice. We have met some lovely LGBT cruisers on our cruises. We have had people come up and say hello which is kind and welcome but I've also had a young guy tug at my clothes from behind to get my attention which I didn't really appreciate but I didn't make a fuss or anything...my husband was a bit perplexed by it though.

 

I also agree with some of the commentators that the cruise line may influence interaction. We cruised twice on Carnival and while we didn't have any major issues I'm not sure we would pick them in the future but we have enjoyed HAL, RCL and Celebrity.

 

I think I would be careful about interpreting little or no engagement as "snobbish" etc. I think it's just likely that the people are just minding their own business while they enjoy their holiday. I'm sure if they want to engage they will. Happy cruising!

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Hi Everyone - Like some of the other commentators, it really depends on how much you want to engage with others. My husband is extremely shy and I am a chatty but he wants to relax and have a quiet vacation and I'm happy to do the same. He works in a stressful environment and needs quiet time. We wouldn't go out of our way to be rude or anything but if we don't want to engage with people (straight or LGBT) that's our choice. We have met some lovely LGBT cruisers on our cruises. We have had people come up and say hello which is kind and welcome but I've also had a young guy tug at my clothes from behind to get my attention which I didn't really appreciate but I didn't make a fuss or anything...my husband was a bit perplexed by it though.

 

I also agree with some of the commentators that the cruise line may influence interaction. We cruised twice on Carnival and while we didn't have any major issues I'm not sure we would pick them in the future but we have enjoyed HAL, RCL and Celebrity.

 

I think I would be careful about interpreting little or no engagement as "snobbish" etc. I think it's just likely that the people are just minding their own business while they enjoy their holiday. I'm sure if they want to engage they will. Happy cruising!

 

If you say to me that you want to be alone, then I'll leave you alone. But it sounds like you are ok with meeting strangers. We can't know everyone's issues before saying hello. I guess it's unreasonable to expect everyone to be outgoing.

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If you say to me that you want to be alone, then I'll leave you alone. But it sounds like you are ok with meeting strangers. We can't know everyone's issues before saying hello. I guess it's unreasonable to expect everyone to be outgoing.

I understand what you mean but I don't think it's that simple. I highly doubt most cruisers would say "leave me alone", they might be brief in their response but I don't think most would outright rude. I personally don't mind saying hello and chatting while my husband prefers not too but does that mean I want to spend some or any of my vacation time with a stranger... probably not. Others may want to find friends and that's perfectly ok but it's ok not too either.

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I understand what you mean but I don't think it's that simple. I highly doubt most cruisers would say "leave me alone", they might be brief in their response but I don't think most would outright rude. I personally don't mind saying hello and chatting while my husband prefers not too but does that mean I want to spend some or any of my vacation time with a stranger... probably not. Others may want to find friends and that's perfectly ok but it's ok not too either.

 

I do understand your point. It just seems strange to surround yourself with thousands of other people, while expecting to be left completely alone. :confused:

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I’d be interested to see if we would be considered unfriendly when we cruise. We pretty much keep to ourselves. We are not about socializing with others. We will acknowledge a hello and we will say hello, but we have no desire to strike up conversation just for the sake of it.

 

Not that everyone else doesn’t, but we work very hard and deal with people every day at work. When we get away, it is our time. We do what we want when we want. We go about our day, go to the spa, sit in our cabana and relax. That’s what it’s all about for us. If that makes us unfriendly, then I guess it does.

 

 

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I think people should have to wear signs that say friendly/unfriendly, straight/LGBT and a number indicating how long they'll talk to you. Lol. :p

 

/s

 

This thread has me thinking that I'm not going to meet any LGBT people on my cruise!! Too many people want to keep to themselves. Where are all the social LGBT folks?? :confused:

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My husband and I are going on our first cruise in 9 days.

 

We are typically anti-social, we were big into the club scene as 20-somethings but as we have progressed in age and tied the knot we have grown more and more anti social. I can also see the "I talk to strangers all day, don't want to do it on vacation" argument but at the same time it would be nice to mingle and meet new people, we maybe have 2 or 3 gay couples that we actually hang out with.

 

But other than that what do we do? Look for rainbows, follow the trail of glitter to the meet up spot? lol

 

Like I said, first cruise and we are doing it alone.

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My husband and I are going on our first cruise in 9 days.

 

We are typically anti-social, we were big into the club scene as 20-somethings but as we have progressed in age and tied the knot we have grown more and more anti social. I can also see the "I talk to strangers all day, don't want to do it on vacation" argument but at the same time it would be nice to mingle and meet new people, we maybe have 2 or 3 gay couples that we actually hang out with.

 

But other than that what do we do? Look for rainbows, follow the trail of glitter to the meet up spot? lol

 

Like I said, first cruise and we are doing it alone.

 

Wait. I'm confused. You are antisocial, but you want to meet people? Huh? :confused:

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We act antisocial but we really aren't. We have friends but we really don't do anything. We are like 2 old men who sit at home and watch TV, read and have a beer with dinner and think that is a fun filled night. I would like nothing more than to be more social and meet & mingle while on the cruise. At the same time I would be perfectly fine sitting on my balcony with a book and just watch the water. I don't know yet. Haven't been on a cruise so don't know what to expect.

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We act antisocial but we really aren't. We have friends but we really don't do anything. We are like 2 old men who sit at home and watch TV, read and have a beer with dinner and think that is a fun filled night. I would like nothing more than to be more social and meet & mingle while on the cruise. At the same time I would be perfectly fine sitting on my balcony with a book and just watch the water. I don't know yet. Haven't been on a cruise so don't know what to expect.

 

When I say hello, don't run in the opposite direction, LOL. :')

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When I say hello, don't run in the opposite direction, LOL. :')

 

I will definitely say hello to anyone that says hello to me during my cruise. :cool:

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We act antisocial but we really aren't. We have friends but we really don't do anything. We are like 2 old men who sit at home and watch TV, read and have a beer with dinner and think that is a fun filled night. I would like nothing more than to be more social and meet & mingle while on the cruise. At the same time I would be perfectly fine sitting on my balcony with a book and just watch the water. I don't know yet. Haven't been on a cruise so don't know what to expect.

Uhhh, Mom,Dad. Is that you? Sorry, you remind me of my parents(at least at home)when out & about they were really very sociable, though.

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Princess usually schedules them daily, which consists of nothing more than putting a notice in the daily Patter. Sometimes a staffer shows up for the first one.

On our 2016 Regal Princess B2B, the first week nothing. The ship was full of Carolina Panther fans.(super bowl week)Worst low class group of pax I ever saw. We thought the cruise was going to suck. The excursions were fine, so that helped. Most of that group(and it was a majority of pax)left the ship on Valentine's Day. We then had a whole new group of pax. The LGBT meetings were well attended & we dined frequently as a large group of about 15 at Sabatini's & Crown Grill. One of the best times was that second week. Real great group of people.

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Uhhh, Mom,Dad. Is that you? Sorry, you remind me of my parents(at least at home)when out & about they were really very sociable, though.

 

Its ok we are the grumpy old couple in our group of friends. I am in my early 30s, husband is late 20s. We just enjoying relaxing is all. We met in a club 7 years ago, left that scene and just have done our own thing since then. It is going to be exciting to hang out with like minded individuals. We live in a very rural, very old fashioned, very small texas town so not much to do anyways except watch the grass grow.

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