Unfriendly gays on cruises

[love to sail - brian]

3 hours ago, zitsky said:

We were on Norwegian.  Walked into the restaurant for lunch.  Saw two other gay couples that we had talked to before.  Said/waved hello.  No one offered to sit with us or waved us to their table.

did you see them again during the course of the cruise...uggggg, rude people.  not acknowledging someone is simply uncalled for

[zitsky]

1 hour ago, love to sail - brian said:

did you see them again during the course of the cruise...uggggg, rude people.  not acknowledging someone is simply uncalled for

 

I might have seen them here or there...  I guess some people want privacy.

[zitsky]

1 hour ago, love to sail - brian said:

did you see them again during the course of the cruise...uggggg, rude people.  not acknowledging someone is simply uncalled for

 

I might have seen them here or there...  I guess some people want privacy.

[Pinboy]

On 2/13/2020 at 4:09 PM, zitsky said:

We were on Norwegian.  Walked into the restaurant for lunch.  Saw two other gay couples that we had talked to before.  Said/waved hello.  No one offered to sit with us or waved us to their table.

So What ????  It's all part of cruising . 

We were on Celebrity several times, saw two other couples that we had talked to before , etc, etc.  So, big deal-- We had already answered the " Where ya from and is it really cold up there " ? question.

We took a table and answered the same questions with the people next to us , and, within 10 minutes-- out it came--- pictures of their grandchildren. 

 

 

[zitsky]

The topic of the thread is unfriendly gays so the story seemed relevant.

[Bigmike911]

On 10/21/2019 at 12:41 PM, Big Timber said:

Thank you for the information on your Queen Mary 2 transatlantic.  I have just completed my booking (NYC to Southampton) leaving May 31,2020 and am also traveling solo in the Queens Grill as I got a very good deal.  I hope I have as pleasant a voyage as you had.  I will check out the "Friends" gathering.  I am older than you so I will really bring up the average age in the group.  Thanks again for your mini review.

Big Timber, I think you will enjoy QM2 very much. Not only for the food and the ambiance, but also the speakers they have. One particularly memorable one was a Lady Professor who spoke on the creation of the universe, and why we have the elements on earth that we do. If she could make me understand such concepts she is a very good teacher indeed. I learn something new every crossing. 

[Big Timber]

Thank you for the additional information "Bigmike".  I am looking forward to my first time on Queen Mary 2.  I did a short cruise on the Queen Elizabeth last year and enjoyed that very much.  Perhaps one day we will end up on the same cruise.  

[HillBilly Bob]

Moral of the story....cruise Atlantis.   

[zitsky]

2 minutes ago, HillBilly Bob said:

Moral of the story....cruise Atlantis.   

 

Are people on Atlantis any more friendly than another cruise line, in your experience?

[HillBilly Bob]

3 hours ago, zitsky said:

 

Are people on Atlantis any more friendly than another cruise line, in your experience?

Highly recommend Atlantis....the gambit of cruisers runs from characters trying to sun tan their nostrils to good old boy ordinary gays....liberals to conservatives.  Their cruises are like going to a gay bar with 5000 guests.  

[Bigmike911]

On 2/17/2020 at 12:03 PM, Big Timber said:

Thank you for the additional information "Bigmike".  I am looking forward to my first time on Queen Mary 2.  I did a short cruise on the Queen Elizabeth last year and enjoyed that very much.  Perhaps one day we will end up on the same cruise.  

I am sailing QM2 this summer westbound from Hamburg on 22 July, and again the same route on 22 July, 2021. So you never know. Mike. 

[Big Timber]

21 hours ago, Bigmike911 said:

I am sailing QM2 this summer westbound from Hamburg on 22 July, and again the same route on 22 July, 2021. So you never know. Mike. 

I just saw your post on the Cunard board re: recommendations for cabins.  I have 9067 on my transatlantic and it appears that this is one that you highly recommend.  Now I am looking forward to the cruise even more.  Thank you.  Tom.

[Bigmike911]

27 minutes ago, Big Timber said:

I just saw your post on the Cunard board re: recommendations for cabins.  I have 9067 on my transatlantic and it appears that this is one that you highly recommend.  Now I am looking forward to the cruise even more.  Thank you.  Tom.

I had that penthouse on a cruise a few years back in November. It was west bound and there wasn't much sun, but I did sit out on the balcony with a lap robe and read until my hands got too cold to turn the pages. I don't remember if you were going east or west bound. East bound you would be in the sun. I had 9060 on my crossing from Hamburg last September and will be in 9076 on my July crossing also from Hamburg. Next summer 2021 I am in 10092 directly above 9076. The penthouses were refreshed in 9017 and now there is a divider between the sitting area and the bed room, which I like a lot. There are flat screen tvs or either side and a dvd player in the sitting room side. The concierge has a nice selection of DVDs to borrow.  The balcony is large enough to have a dining table (teak of course) so it is a good place for breakfast if you want to have it in suite. Over the years I think I have been in all six of the penthouses and a couple of times was offered the Holyrood Suite as an upgrade. It was nice, but the smoking area is right below the balcony, so it is almost un-useable most of the time. Now I just book a Q4 pick one on the Port side, and have done with it. No more Q4 guarantees with the hope of getting an up boost. 

[Whiskey Tango Foxtrot]

On 5/5/2019 at 9:05 PM, movie buff said:

My husband and I are currently sailing on the Celebrity Millennium 14 night from Tokyo to Vancouver BC. Quite a few gay couples on board.  Really only met one couple that wanted to be social and we had dinner with them one night. The others do not want to give you the time of day.  On the other hand we have met and made good friends with several different straight couples. Even had invites to stay in their homes that are in a different locations in the world.  I still do not understand why so many gay couples have a hair up their ass.  

Cusp79 - Answer to your statement is... That is because they have their heads up their foxtrotting A holes just like some of the gays on the cruise we just departed.  - W T F  

Edited February 22, 2020 by Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

[Big Timber]

On 2/22/2020 at 12:15 PM, Bigmike911 said:

I had that penthouse on a cruise a few years back in November. It was west bound and there wasn't much sun, but I did sit out on the balcony with a lap robe and read until my hands got too cold to turn the pages. I don't remember if you were going east or west bound. East bound you would be in the sun. I had 9060 on my crossing from Hamburg last September and will be in 9076 on my July crossing also from Hamburg. Next summer 2021 I am in 10092 directly above 9076. The penthouses were refreshed in 9017 and now there is a divider between the sitting area and the bed room, which I like a lot. There are flat screen tvs or either side and a dvd player in the sitting room side. The concierge has a nice selection of DVDs to borrow.  The balcony is large enough to have a dining table (teak of course) so it is a good place for breakfast if you want to have it in suite. Over the years I think I have been in all six of the penthouses and a couple of times was offered the Holyrood Suite as an upgrade. It was nice, but the smoking area is right below the balcony, so it is almost un-useable most of the time. Now I just book a Q4 pick one on the Port side, and have done with it. No more Q4 guarantees with the hope of getting an up boost. 

Thank you so much for this additional information.  I hope we don't get in trouble for posting on the "unfriendly gays" place as our communication is all about friendly stuff!  lol.  Fortunately I am traveling east and my cabin was the only one left in that class so I felt fortunate to get the sunny side.  I just saw that our second night has the "Royal Cunard Ball" function.  Is that significantly different from a regular formal night?

Tom.

[Bigmike911]

1 minute ago, Big Timber said:

Thank you so much for this additional information.  I hope we don't get in trouble for posting on the "unfriendly gays" place as our communication is all about friendly stuff!  lol.  Fortunately I am traveling east and my cabin was the only one left in that class so I felt fortunate to get the sunny side.  I just saw that our second night has the "Royal Cunard Ball" function.  Is that significantly different from a regular formal night?

Tom.

You lucked out on the accommodation. There is really no significant difference between any gala (formal) night unless you plan to dance the night away with some one. The usual way this goes, is that the start of the night is some kind of party in the Queens room. I dress in my Tux,  go to the party. If you have met 'friends' at the 5 pm gathering. you might sit with them and have a drink. If you park your self near the entrance to Q32, you can ask the waiter to bring you your drink of choice and pass up the cheap stuff the waiters pass. After a bit of time, and there is usually something happening, and some snacks to graze on,  I will exit the Queens Room via the starboard side, go to dinner and if you like it, and have requested it by noon, have the caviar as my starter.  There is one little issue with the aft penthouses.if there is a strong wind, you might get a bit of sea spray off the back of the balcony because there is a slab of solid steel that projects and you might get the mist. If that is the case sit on the bow side of the balcony.

[Big Timber]

21 hours ago, Bigmike911 said:

You lucked out on the accommodation. There is really no significant difference between any gala (formal) night unless you plan to dance the night away with some one. The usual way this goes, is that the start of the night is some kind of party in the Queens room. I dress in my Tux,  go to the party. If you have met 'friends' at the 5 pm gathering. you might sit with them and have a drink. If you park your self near the entrance to Q32, you can ask the waiter to bring you your drink of choice and pass up the cheap stuff the waiters pass. After a bit of time, and there is usually something happening, and some snacks to graze on,  I will exit the Queens Room via the starboard side, go to dinner and if you like it, and have requested it by noon, have the caviar as my starter.  There is one little issue with the aft penthouses.if there is a strong wind, you might get a bit of sea spray off the back of the balcony because there is a slab of solid steel that projects and you might get the mist. If that is the case sit on the bow side of the balcony.

You have a wealth of information.  This is very helpful and makes me even more eager for the cruise.  I promise, this is my last question:  One of the special nights is the "roaring 20's".  Is the usual formal dress the same then.  I expect from reading on the Cunard board that some people will be attired in the 20's garb, but mine has worn out.  lol.  Thanks again for your responses.

[Bigmike911]

On 2/24/2020 at 11:51 AM, Big Timber said:

You have a wealth of information.  This is very helpful and makes me even more eager for the cruise.  I promise, this is my last question:  One of the special nights is the "roaring 20's".  Is the usual formal dress the same then.  I expect from reading on the Cunard board that some people will be attired in the 20's garb, but mine has worn out.  lol.  Thanks again for your responses.

BT, I just wear my Tux. When I want to spice it up, I wear my Tartan Trousers (McDonald of the Isles) which I had made in Edinburgh with my tux jacket and my matching tartan cummerbund and tie. Are you impacted by the recent announcements of Cunard pausing their voyages for 30 days? mye is my name at aol.

Edited March 14, 2020 by Bigmike911

[jules181]

It seems like this thread will never die, I want to just give some perspective that I thought was missing. 

 

I've been on 4 cruises so far, 3 different Cruise Lines, and only on my most recent cruise did I visit the FoD meeting. 

 

The main reason for this, the timing just didn't work out, or I was with a group and didn't feel the need to socialize with anyone outside the group.  

 

I did go to the FoD on my last cruise on the Norwegian Epic (my first FoD meeting).  It was in a nice accessible location, the sign on table said "LGBT Support Group" (I thought that was pretty funny...but they obviously tried). 

 

There are a few things that made me uncomfortable at the meetup, so uncomfortable that I really didn't want to (and didn't) go back. 

 

1. Please don't talk politics.  If you do feel the need, please do so in a respective and objective manner.  I'm a policy geek, I love an intellectual discussion on the merits of one proposed framework or ideology over the other.  What I don't love is bashing a person because you don't like him.  LGBT people voted for Trump too, so please don't think that every gay you meet wants to join in on your Trump bashing session.  
2. Just because you're also gay doesn't mean I want to sleep with you.  Enough said.
3. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I want to be part of a threesome or orgy back in your cabin.
4. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I watch RuPaul, go to drag shows or clubs, do drugs or have a sense of fashion or design.
5. Please don't complain about perceived homophobia everywhere.  Haters gonna hate, so surround yourself with positive people.

Honestly, if it was just a chill group shooting the sh!t it would be awesome.  But it seems like that's too much to ask for. 

 

I'm an early 30s guy, single, but grew up in a very accepting environment and never felt the need to surround myself with gay people.  My friends are my friends because they're good people, not because of who they sleep with.  It's a biological characteristic I didn't have any say in.  There are many characteristics which are choices, that I take great interest in, and love to chat about.  It's about similar interests and comfort.  I also realize that it's because of what the older generation did that I'm able to live this life openly.  However, we're now at a point where for the most part, we can.  We should rejoice in this fact, not hold a cloud of shame and victim-hood hanging over us.  

 

I just booked a HAL cruise solo (my first solo cruise), I will be attending the FoD meetup on the first days to see if I can make cruise friends, (and I don't care how old you are, how fat you are, how black you are, how poor you are etc...) but there needs to be some common interest.  I will also be attending other non-gay events and activities in the hopes of making cruise friends. 

 

I'll know within 5 minutes of chatting with you whether I want to spend any more time with you, and if I don't, I won't be rude or standoffish, I'll politely decline any invitation and if pressed will be completely honest. 

 

I'm pretty picky about who I spend my time with.  Time is the most valuable commodity we have, I'd rather not waste it in a situation where I don't feel totally comfortable. We should all be free to experience our vacation in the way that makes us happiest, without judgement.  Sometimes it involves being alone, sometimes it involves surround oneself with people. 

 

But let me be clear, just because we're both gay, doesn't mean I owe you anything.  And I mean this with the utmost respect.

 

(And by the way, I always give a polite nod to anyone I pass in the corridors who makes eye contact or acknowledges me.  I'm never the one to initiate)

[zitsky]

@jules181 thank you for that interesting post.  I'm glad this thread hasn't died yet. 

 

I cannot judge people in 5 minutes.  For me it takes longer.  My turnoff is hitting on my husband while I'm standing there.

[MishelleMcc]

Good Morning fellow land locked cruisers!  I think I've be subscribed to this thread for years and it is indeed a long one!  I think I've posted here years ago...

 

But I wanted to post this morning about our wonderful experience on Grand Princess in December!  It was a 15 night Hawaiian Cruise out of San Fransisco. 

 

The FOD meetings are now referred to as LGBT gatherings in the daily planner.  (On Princess - "Patter")  We had a Group of about 25 meet up EVERY night in the Wheelhouse Bar.  We also all went to dinner together on one of the formal nights!  If any of us saw other "family" during the day we'd invite them to the group and we grew as the days passed.

 

There were 3 women and the rest were men and they all were wonderful!  I am old enough (60) that I still crave "community" and my wife and I were welcomed with open arms!  I don't recall any political talk but rather the usual cruise "banter"...  what each of us did that day... the wonderful food we had ...  where we were from.... 

 

This was my 8th cruise and the BEST cruise!  I am still friends with 4 of the gentlemen from the cruise!  We are missing one of the others that had stayed in touch with us and fear they've been taken by the COVID19. 

 

As one of them said "We are sad to think we may have lost one of our Sea Family"

 

So even if you don't think you "need" community, Please don't pass up an opportunity to meet up with amazing people that you may not have otherwise met! 

 

Mishelle & Sue

[Ken_W]

On 5/14/2020 at 5:11 AM, zitsky said:

@jules181 thank you for that interesting post.  I'm glad this thread hasn't died yet. 

 

I cannot judge people in 5 minutes.  For me it takes longer.  My turnoff is hitting on my husband while I'm standing there.

Some people are more guarded when meeting strangers because they've been burned in the past and don't wish to repeat the experience, but do open up as you get to know them. And your turnoff is my turnoff, I once experienced a nitwit who not only hit on my husband while we were all standing together (and we'd introduced ourselves as married) he actively insulted me more than once. My husband, bless him, put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Pardon, there are some people over there we'd like to talk with" and off we went to a large circle of strangers and introduced ourselves while Mr. Nitwit looked puzzled.

Edited May 16, 2020 by Ken_W

[Daytona_MAc]

On 5/14/2020 at 12:58 AM, jules181 said:

I just booked a HAL cruise solo (my first solo cruise), I will be attending the FoD meetup on the first days to see if I can make cruise friends, (and I don't care how old you are, how fat you are, how black you are, how poor you are etc...) but there needs to be some common interest.  I will also be attending other non-gay events and activities in the hopes of making cruise friends. 

 

I'll know within 5 minutes of chatting with you whether I want to spend any more time with you, and if I don't, I won't be rude or standoffish, I'll politely decline any invitation and if pressed will be completely honest. 

 

I'm pretty picky about who I spend my time with.  Time is the most valuable commodity we have, I'd rather not waste it in a situation where I don't feel totally comfortable. We should all be free to experience our vacation in the way that makes us happiest, without judgement.  Sometimes it involves being alone, sometimes it involves surround oneself with people. 

 

My husband and I have been on several HAL cruises and have found some interesting cruise companions at some of the meetups. If the timing matches your schedule, they can be an interesting cocktail hour. But I agree with you - there at least has to be some common interest.

[Kosh III]

We've had mixed experiences. We are b&w couple in late 60's been together over 40 years. 
 

Our first cruise was Elation, we were the only people to show up at the FOD on the first two nights and we didn't go again.  We saw almost no gay people around the ship. 

Next cruise was Liberty, the FOD attendance was quite good even though it was at a popular. 

Three cruises on Royal but those have been with Arno's Bear group.

4 cruises on Celebrity. On the first, Reflection, a very good turn out for the FOD. 
On the Solstice the meetup was at a pricey bar and the few that showed up were not inclined to socialize. Saw only a few around the ship.
Our two on Infinity had few at FOD but lots of friendly gay folks around the ship. 

We have fun no matter what. We've got a Carnival and Princess cruise planned. 

[zitsky]

8 minutes ago, Kosh III said:

We've had mixed experiences. We are b&w couple in late 60's been together over 40 years. 
 

Our first cruise was Elation, we were the only people to show up at the FOD on the first two nights and we didn't go again.  We saw almost no gay people around the ship. 

Next cruise was Liberty, the FOD attendance was quite good even though it was at a popular. 

Three cruises on Royal but those have been with Arno's Bear group.

4 cruises on Celebrity. On the first, Reflection, a very good turn out for the FOD. 
On the Solstice the meetup was at a pricey bar and the few that showed up were not inclined to socialize. Saw only a few around the ship.
Our two on Infinity had few at FOD but lots of friendly gay folks around the ship. 

We have fun no matter what. We've got a Carnival and Princess cruise planned. 

 

How soon are your cruises?  Are you worried about covid-19?