Unfriendly gays on cruises

[Kosh III]

Cruise is mid-November. 

Worried, but hopeful it won't get cancelled. 

[barry1984]

Just spent the last hour reading through this thread and it’s been fascinating reading about everyone’s experiences!

 

My partner and I have been on a few cruises across a handful of lines - RCL, CCL, Princess, MSC - and have always had positive experiences. We like to cruise as it gives us some quality together time. We both have hectic jobs and don’t always have time for that back home (although COVID has changed that the last few months, but that’s a different story!)..... so we tend to keep ourselves on holiday but whilst we don’t actively seek out other gay passengers, we don’t ignore people either. If someone takes the time to chat/smile/wave to me then I’ll more than happily return the gesture. We’ve met some wonderful people on cruises from all walks of life, but if we don’t invite them to dinner with us, it’s absolutely not because we’re being unfriendly! I’d feel bad if I knew someone thought that.

[zitsky]

39 minutes ago, barry1984 said:

Just spent the last hour reading through this thread and it’s been fascinating reading about everyone’s experiences!

 

My partner and I have been on a few cruises across a handful of lines - RCL, CCL, Princess, MSC - and have always had positive experiences. We like to cruise as it gives us some quality together time. We both have hectic jobs and don’t always have time for that back home (although COVID has changed that the last few months, but that’s a different story!)..... so we tend to keep ourselves on holiday but whilst we don’t actively seek out other gay passengers, we don’t ignore people either. If someone takes the time to chat/smile/wave to me then I’ll more than happily return the gesture. We’ve met some wonderful people on cruises from all walks of life, but if we don’t invite them to dinner with us, it’s absolutely not because we’re being unfriendly! I’d feel bad if I knew someone thought that.

 

It's nobody's business what you do.  I find it makes the trip more enjoyable getting to know people (straight or not).

[Rotterdam]

We need to hear from more drag queens to lighten up this thread👠👡💄📿🛍👝👜👙👗👄💅👭👬💃🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️💁‍♀️💇‍♀️🏃‍♀️🧖‍♀️👯‍♀️❌🅾️

 

[MishelleMcc]

🥰

[zitsky]

1 hour ago, Rotterdam said:

We need to hear from more drag queens to lighten up this thread👠👡💄📿🛍👝👜👙👗👄💅👭👬💃🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️💁‍♀️💇‍♀️🏃‍♀️🧖‍♀️👯‍♀️❌🅾️

 

 

OMG!!! Reddit and Cruise Critic have merged?!

Edited July 30, 2020 by zitsky

[MishelleMcc]

😆🤣

[CalgaryMac]

We experienced our first homophobic interaction on a cruise in February 2019. The woman sitting behind me in a restaurant  hit my chair and apologized (or I hit hers and apologized). We exchanged a few pleasantries and then she stated (not asked) about our being gay. It turned out that she was a religious fanatic and started to quote Bible verses and then referred to us as sinners. I told her that we don't believe in religious fantasies so her quotes were wasted on us. She suggested that we had chosen our lifestyle and in response I told her that the day I accepted myself and came out was perhaps one of the most exciting and memorable days of my life. I asked her what it was like when she chose to be heterosexual. She became confused - to her being married was the only choice she was aware of. Precisely! The saddest part of it was that she has a gay son who is a professor at a university. His being gay was her focus rather than his achievements. She said that she never has conversations with him about his being gay - smart son to avoid the diatribe.

 

We might be perceived as unfriendly but it is because we are generally a quiet couple content to do our thing. I love to talk to anyone while my partner takes time to open up. To his chagrin he thinks that I talk too much and wishes that I would stay quiet. Not likely to happen in this lifetime!

 

We don't know the stories of the other passengers so what we see as unfriendly might relate to something totally different. We can send then positive energy and wish them well - quietly if that is best.

 

Take care everyone and let's hope COVID gets figured out sooner than later. We are eager to go on another cruise - Panama Canal!

[MishelleMcc]

I am sorry for your experience.  We've experienced similar questions in the past but not recently.  It sounds like you two handled her well.  Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I may be the only openly gay person some people will meet so I try to be open, honest and kind.  It sounds like you were all of those things.  Her son may be the beneficiary of her experience with you leading to a better understanding (or not) of him.  So good for you! 

[Rotterdam]

You could of introduced this lady to DAME EDNA who's son is also gay🤗🍸💄👠💃

[Kenito]

I'm going to bump this because the thread has been around for a long time, and I guess it deserves to stay alive!

 

I really don't see how one can blame a cruise line (I sail on CCL Corp Lines) because it's passengers are unfriendly.  Some people just don't know how to communicate unless it is on Facebook, a text, or something anonymous.  Face to face?  Horrors!  I can't claim always, but I tend to be pretty gregarious on a cruise and will cajole most timid souls into a conversation or plain old bull crap!  We can say the others are stuck up, but if we don't try to overcome their shyness or inability to break the ice, we can't say it's all their fault.  And it certainly isn't the cruise line's fault.

 

I've gone to the Cruise Director and suggested a different time and location for the LGBT gathering and it's always been accepted.  If it's in a bad location or time, it was usually because a previous group had a reason to request it and the CD isn't going to go out of their way to change it every cruise... unless requested.  I survey locations and suggest someplace, a bar,  right before a dinner seating and it always works.  They want to sell drinks.

 

We need to play a part in improving this situation if we want to improve it.  Bon Voyage cruisers... 😉

[zitsky]

Oh this thread will stay alive if we keep posting.  I guess many of us are not cruising so this thread has been quiet.

 

I'm an introvert who is sarcastic so that makes for interesting times when socializing.

[MishelleMcc]

I don't think I posted to this thread after our last cruise in December but I want to say that my Wife and I had the BEST experience on the Grand Princess last December 3rd!  I agree that it's probably not a reflection of the cruise line brand but maybe more to do with the demographic that a particular cruise attracts.  Our cruise was a 15 night Hawaiian cruise out of San Fransisco and I think that the Embarkation port and length of cruise may have been the contributing factors.  We had 26 in our Group!  We met every night for 15 nights in the Wheelhouse bar!  One night we all had lobster dinner (reserved in the "anytime" dinning room!)  Sue & I are still in regular contact with two gay couples and another lesbian from that cruise!!!!  They ALL were amazing!!!  And as you all probably know, the crew love the gays & lesbians...  So we were treated like royalty!!  So I recommend a longer cruise out of a more gay-populated port.  It was magical!!!  ... can you tell, we miss cruising right now... Stay safe everyone!  We will all cruise again!!!

[ScottC4746]

On 12/6/2017 at 3:26 AM, tennboy1981 said:

I don't want this to sound like a rant, but it kinda sorta is. Has anyone noticed the influx of unfriendly gay couples on cruises? I mean I can sort of understand why a lot of gay couples are unfriendly or maybe dismissive. Maybe they are on a honeymoon, or just want a vacation together without any other men in the way, but it just sucks when you try to interact with other gay men on a "straight" cruise, and they just put their nose in the air at you.

 

Maybe it has to do with the cruise line? I was on a Carnival cruise about 2 weeks a go out of Jacksonville, FL. I saw very few gay couples, but the ones I did see, they were just all snobbish and dismissive. I just thought to myself "Umm guys this is a Carnival cruise, don't know where the snobbish attitude is coming from". Who knows, maybe I booked the cruise for insecure gay couples? Maybe Carnival specializes in a different type of gay? It was a shame. The LGBT get together, NO ONE showed up except me and one other gay man. Of course we were both single and we chatted for a while, but he turned out to be a weirdo....Im guessing there just isnt a lot of gay men who travel with Carnival....and of course its easy to figure out why.....

 

I went on a Norwegian cruise in 2015 and I met the coolest group of gay people. We had a group of us who got together every night, a couple times for dinner, it was the coolest thing ever. No one felt insecure or stuck up....it was awesome....but idk, this last cruise, just was bad.

 

So I'm probably going to be told its Carnival...and Im sure thats a big reason why.

I think it depends on the line.  The last Princes cruise we did was a repositioning and while the service needed just a light dusting, someone in the Friends of Dorothy group stated quite blatantly he would never sail Princess again and came across a super high maintenance.   The last LGBT group we hung out with was on HAL's Eurodam and we had a blast sitting in the crows nest on sea days between meals, shows, or after dinner just visiting.  It was great.

[cardygans]

We are always friendly and will say "howdy", but depending on the time of year you won't be hanging out with us.  We both are in the Tax prep business and if we're onboard in May - we've just finished Tax season and we don't wanna talk to ANYONE straight, gay or otherwise. We rarely see many unfriendly gays on Oceania, it's Carnival booze cruise (LA to Ensenada) that seems to bring out the most uppity gays, c'mon guys you're only  paying $300 for a 3-4 day cruise and you're gonna throw attitude?

[zitsky]

1 hour ago, cardygans said:

We are always friendly and will say "howdy", but depending on the time of year you won't be hanging out with us.  We both are in the Tax prep business and if we're onboard in May - we've just finished Tax season and we don't wanna talk to ANYONE straight, gay or otherwise. We rarely see many unfriendly gays on Oceania, it's Carnival booze cruise (LA to Ensenada) that seems to bring out the most uppity gays, c'mon guys you're only  paying $300 for a 3-4 day cruise and you're gonna throw attitude?

Maybe you could wear a T-shirt that says “don’t talk to me” because otherwise how do we know?  I’m worried about accidentally saying hello to you.  😂

[cardygans]

Maybe you could wear a T-shirt that says “don’t talk to me” because otherwise how do we know?  I’m worried about accidentally saying hello to you.  😂

 

How about a seasonal  "recovering tax preparer - I bite!" t-shirt...otherwise I'm pretty friendly and might hit on you after drink or two...😉

Edited May 2, 2023 by cardygans
typo

[zitsky]

2 minutes ago, cardygans said:

Maybe you could wear a T-shirt that says “don’t talk to me” because otherwise how do we know?  I’m worried about accidentally saying hello to you.  😂

 

How about a seasonal  "recovering tax preparer - I bite!" t-shirt...otherwise I'm pretty friendly and might hit on you after drink or two...😉

We can talk about the tax accounting class I took as part of my MBA program.

 

Do you look like an older Tom Holland?  If yes, you can hit on me.

[Pinboy]

14 pages---

Ok, So you are on a cruise-- gay folks, straight folks, and those who " now " think they're a pussycat.

So, you try to strike up a conversation, and the person ignores you or chats for a minute or so-----the regular " stuff " ( Where ya from , Oh, cold up there, how many cruises etc ) and moves on.

So, you are embarrassed , head straight back to your cabin and post it on CC---- Why ?

Seriously, the tables are so close together and easy to make eye contact --- sometimes yes, sometimes no--- nothing to post about--- no embarrassment---no " big deal".

 

 

 

[CruiseMsclDad]

This thread is quite a read! So right off the bat I was closeted most of my life up to and including the first couple of years of my marriage. I threw myself into all sports, got hooked on wrestling, bodybuilding, basically anything that I could do to be with guys while closeted.
 

The only reason I brought this up is I have been into cruising for awhile, and I have been the "straight dude" while an aggressive gay man was hitting on me as well as other drunk passengers who like to use my biceps as their squeeze toy. In my experience on a ship with a couple of thousand people, you are going to run into all types, from people just being friendly in their own way, who might seem to come on a bit aggressive, to outright jerks. A cruise ship literally is a slice of humanity.

You cant control the actions of others, you have 100% control over your reactions. Encounter someone rude, just brush it off, don't take it personal. I can remember me trying to chat with other guys on cruises, and I probably came across as a jerk or a cool guy would talk to me but I was secretly into him so I was probably not friendly. Lets face it gay men have baggage, it is not an excuse, it just is what it is.

I cruise now with my son, and I tell him just try to be yourself, smile, listen. A cruise is even when it was awkward for me a great chance to meet so many different people all in a short time. Also give people some space to get to know you, they might be feeling exactly what you are feeling, and as I tell my son, you do not have to always be talking, people appreciate listeners.

As a general rule of thumb I will admit I am partial to European cruises, for friendliness factor. Except for some aggressive smokers and drinkers, I find on those cruises I make the most amazing connections and always have a great time. I also and I am not sure why but similar to the one gay cruise I was on, the crew on my European cruises seemed more friendly?

Mitch

[zitsky]

11 minutes ago, CruiseMsclDad said:

This thread is quite a read! So right off the bat I was closeted most of my life up to and including the first couple of years of my marriage. I threw myself into all sports, got hooked on wrestling, bodybuilding, basically anything that I could do to be with guys while closeted.
 

The only reason I brought this up is I have been into cruising for awhile, and I have been the "straight dude" while an aggressive gay man was hitting on me as well as other drunk passengers who like to use my biceps as their squeeze toy. In my experience on a ship with a couple of thousand people, you are going to run into all types, from people just being friendly in their own way, who might seem to come on a bit aggressive, to outright jerks. A cruise ship literally is a slice of humanity.

You cant control the actions of others, you have 100% control over your reactions. Encounter someone rude, just brush it off, don't take it personal. I can remember me trying to chat with other guys on cruises, and I probably came across as a jerk or a cool guy would talk to me but I was secretly into him so I was probably not friendly. Lets face it gay men have baggage, it is not an excuse, it just is what it is.

I cruise now with my son, and I tell him just try to be yourself, smile, listen. A cruise is even when it was awkward for me a great chance to meet so many different people all in a short time. Also give people some space to get to know you, they might be feeling exactly what you are feeling, and as I tell my son, you do not have to always be talking, people appreciate listeners.

As a general rule of thumb I will admit I am partial to European cruises, for friendliness factor. Except for some aggressive smokers and drinkers, I find on those cruises I make the most amazing connections and always have a great time. I also and I am not sure why but similar to the one gay cruise I was on, the crew on my European cruises seemed more friendly?

Mitch

In the closet?  Body building?  Wrestling?  Ding ding ding sister.  😂😂😂

[CruiseMsclDad]

21 minutes ago, zitsky said:

In the closet?  Body building?  Wrestling?  Ding ding ding sister.  😂😂😂

Hey it was a journey of several mistakes a long they way, and ya I definitely checked every closeted gay box out there 🙂 I could have been a poster boy for every closeted gay stereotype:) 🙂

[zitsky]

8 minutes ago, CruiseMsclDad said:

Hey it was a journey of several mistakes a long they way, and ya I definitely checked every closeted gay box out there 🙂 I could have been a poster boy for every closeted gay stereotype:) 🙂

All I had as a kid were USA football games to look at.

[CDNPolar]

I don't care, gay, straight, or somewhere on a fluid spectrum, if you are snobbish or angry or whatever, then I just discount you and move on.  I don't feel that anyone needs to, or must be nice with me and especially because of both of us are gay.

 

My husband and I likely come across in poor light because we will "interact" if you approach us but we are not necessarily warm and fuzzy about it.  It has nothing to do with you, and it has everything to do with us, in that we are not overtly social people in this kind of scenario.  We just like to do our thing and we are not on a cruise to make lifelong friends - although we have done that before...

 

We have never made gay friends on a cruise, but we have met some nice solo travelling women and a straight couple from the USA.  We are good with chatting on excursions and maybe sharing a dinner table together, but that is the extent.

 

We have seen lots of gay couples on our cruises, but we never signal them out and approach and we have never been singled out and approached either.

 

Just and opinion and observation.

[CruiseMsclDad]

18 minutes ago, CDNPolar said:

I don't care, gay, straight, or somewhere on a fluid spectrum, if you are snobbish or angry or whatever, then I just discount you and move on.  I don't feel that anyone needs to, or must be nice with me and especially because of both of us are gay.

 

My husband and I likely come across in poor light because we will "interact" if you approach us but we are not necessarily warm and fuzzy about it.  It has nothing to do with you, and it has everything to do with us, in that we are not overtly social people in this kind of scenario.  We just like to do our thing and we are not on a cruise to make lifelong friends - although we have done that before...

 

We have never made gay friends on a cruise, but we have met some nice solo travelling women and a straight couple from the USA.  We are good with chatting on excursions and maybe sharing a dinner table together, but that is the extent.

 

We have seen lots of gay couples on our cruises, but we never signal them out and approach and we have never been singled out and approached either.

 

Just and opinion and observation.

Great post! Vacation should be about what YOU want, some people want to be social others just want to enjoy the sea and air and are happy alone.