Live! The Grouch on the Noordam for 38 days to New Zealand, Sept. 30, 2018

[Charlies Aunt]

Loving your cruise report. Have a fabulous trip.

[ZSandy25]

I’m coming along for the ride, very enjoyable

 

 

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[Love the beach]

Also coming along....thanks for taking us....most enjoyable!

[erewhon]

Thank you for your report.

Am surprised that HAL did not check proof of Australian visas before boarding the ship.

[ToBe]

Tuesday, October 2, 2018, headed towards Hawaii

 

Thanks for the good wishes, good to know people are following along.

 

On deck early again for a relaxing day at sea. Calm breakfast in the dining room and I relaxed until I took time to book an independent tour online. My credit card was declined. The front desk was kind enough to offer a complimentary call to my card provider, but I could do without the faffing about. Enjoyed a relaxing day at sea until I found the form to fill out and show that we had our electronic visas for Australia. Mrs. Whogo's documentation is safe in her computer. At home. Inaccessible from the Pacific Ocean. More faffing about. Holland America gave no indication that we should bring documentation of an electronic visa. If Mrs. Whogo is put off the ship in New Caledonia, she will fend for herself and I will continue the cruise and use the elevator whenever I want.

 

While I faffed, Mrs. Whogo relaxed, learned how to make fluffy omelets and blueberry pancakes at America's test kitchen. She claimed they stole her blueberry pancake recipe.

 

Lunch of fish and chips for me, beef barbacoa for her at a table for two in the dining room. Fun Australian teammates and a beer for afternoon happy hour trivia in the Crow's Nest, did admirably, missed three, couldn't beat the team with a perfect score.

 

At 5:35 we were headed southwest at 18kts, course 227°, position 40°55.22' N, 138°10.75 W. Relative wind was 25 kts from two o'clock, a sailor would probably phrase that differently.

 

Gala night dinner, good conversation and surf and turf made for an excellent meal. Mrs. Whogo looked lovely, I looked adequate. Those who care can grit their teeth about my wearing a sport coat and tie instead of a dinner jacket. To further raise your blood pressure our first dinner table mate wore a tee shirt, this morning's breakfast mate wore a ball cap and tee shirt in the dining room.

 

Arrived late for 1980's music trivia, joined a team of young people who tied for first. It was all the young folks' doing, I contributed nothing and did not claim any part of the victory. Ended the night with a peek in the showroom, a couple of songs in the piano bar and couple more at B.B. King's, my first visit there.

 

Love your comments. We board the Noordam January 4 and will have the orange view too. It will be wonderful to follow your comments. I agree with Mrs. W: no elevators and my DH ignores me. This ship is larger than our last few HAL ships so the climb from 4 to Lido will be more than a challenge.

Thanks again

Temma

[whogo]

Wednesday, October 3, 2018, At sea, headed for Hawaii

 

At 6:30 AM we were headed southwest, 226° at 17.2 knts at position 38°01.69' N, 141°46.59W. The skies have been mostly overcast the entire cruise, there was just enough break in the clouds to redden the eastern sky a little this morning. We are missing glorious sunsets at home in the Midwest, the harvest dust brings on sunsets that color the whole western sky. We also miss the fall colors and cooler temperatures.

 

On the plus side, we will see no political television ads, receive no robocalls from candidates, receive no calls from pollsters, receive no political mail. It is a great time to cruise. Those of you at home are inundated with political stuff and I am not. Neener, neener.

 

The plot of a number from last night's program “All for Love” by the singers and dancers was that three men tried to pick up three women oafishly. Not a subtle number, the men formed a football huddle twice. At one point a man is rebuffed after groping a woman's thigh up her skirt. I had a #MeToo moment.

 

This was finally a lazy day at sea. I read on the promenade deck, attended Phil's 11:00 geology lecture, ate and played trivia. Lunch fell together nicely in the Lido, no trouble getting food or drink. I tried three items from the Asian station, found them all good. For the first time ever a steward poured drinks for me. Halibut looked great, I had a nice slab of rare prime rib for dinner with excellent company.

 

I distributed this official looking note to a few tender view staterooms:

 

“Holland America's Emergency Muster procedures have been revised on the Noordam cruise departing September 20, 2018 and effective October 4, 2018. Steps 1 and 2 are the same. Step 3 has changed for your Ocean View cabin on Deck 4. When other cruisers are told to proceed to their muster station on Deck 3 in their life vests in warm clothing with their medicine, you will be directed to remain in your cabin similarly prepared. In the unlikely event that evacuation by lifeboat is ordered, you are to break your cabin window, climb on the catwalk outside, and remove the canvas from the lifeboat door. This will speed up evacuation of the ship. In return for performing these duties, you have first choice of seats in the lifeboat and will receive 30% off your next Holland America cruise. If you are unable to understand spoken and written English or are unable or unwilling to perform these duties, please contact your cabin steward immediately. Thank you.”

[Alphen]

wednesday, october 3, 2018, at sea, headed for hawaii

 

 

 

i distributed this official looking note to a few tender view staterooms:

 

“holland america's emergency muster procedures have been revised on the noordam cruise departing september 20, 2018 and effective october 4, 2018. Steps 1 and 2 are the same. Step 3 has changed for your ocean view cabin on deck 4. When other cruisers are told to proceed to their muster station on deck 3 in their life vests in warm clothing with their medicine, you will be directed to remain in your cabin similarly prepared. In the unlikely event that evacuation by lifeboat is ordered, you are to break your cabin window, climb on the catwalk outside, and remove the canvas from the lifeboat door. This will speed up evacuation of the ship. In return for performing these duties, you have first choice of seats in the lifeboat and will receive 30% off your next holland america cruise. If you are unable to understand spoken and written english or are unable or unwilling to perform these duties, please contact your cabin steward immediately. Thank you.”

 

 

:') :') :')

[Alphen]

Would you mind sharing a picture of the view looking outside of your cabin?

 

We are looking at booking a deck 4 obstructed view in the near future. I know there are examples on the website that I dare not mention here, but an extra example would be nice. Are you in the forward (lifeboat) or aft (tender) section?

 

 

Thanks in advance, looking forward to the next entry. :')

[Snowbaby369]

Enjoying the read. Thanks for taking the time to share.

[whogo]

Would you mind sharing a picture of the view looking outside of your cabin?

 

We are looking at booking a deck 4 obstructed view in the near future. I know there are examples on the website that I dare not mention here, but an extra example would be nice. Are you in the forward (lifeboat) or aft (tender) section?

 

 

Thanks in advance, looking forward to the next entry. :')

Sorry, can't post a photo. I have a view of a forward tender, pretty much all orange to eye level, maybe white at the bottom (it's dark now) no way to see a drop of ocean. I think some of the cabins have a view between tenders or lifeboats, our doesn't.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Isn't it wonderful to have another sea day just to do whatever you want to do?

Love the Lifeboat drill letter you passed out!! What a great sense of humor you have.

[Alphen]

Sorry, can't post a photo. I have a view of a forward tender, pretty much all orange to eye level, maybe white at the bottom (it's dark now) no way to see a drop of ocean. I think some of the cabins have a view between tenders or lifeboats, our doesn't.

 

No problem, thanks anyway.

[trident]

Wednesday, October 3, 2018, At sea, headed for Hawaii

 

At 6:30 AM we were headed southwest, 226° at 17.2 knts at position 38°01.69' N, 141°46.59W. The skies have been mostly overcast the entire cruise, there was just enough break in the clouds to redden the eastern sky a little this morning. We are missing glorious sunsets at home in the Midwest, the harvest dust brings on sunsets that color the whole western sky. We also miss the fall colors and cooler temperatures.

 

On the plus side, we will see no political television ads, receive no robocalls from candidates, receive no calls from pollsters, receive no political mail. It is a great time to cruise. Those of you at home are inundated with political stuff and I am not. Neener, neener.

 

The plot of a number from last night's program “All for Love” by the singers and dancers was that three men tried to pick up three women oafishly. Not a subtle number, the men formed a football huddle twice. At one point a man is rebuffed after groping a woman's thigh up her skirt. I had a #MeToo moment.

 

This was finally a lazy day at sea. I read on the promenade deck, attended Phil's 11:00 geology lecture, ate and played trivia. Lunch fell together nicely in the Lido, no trouble getting food or drink. I tried three items from the Asian station, found them all good. For the first time ever a steward poured drinks for me. Halibut looked great, I had a nice slab of rare prime rib for dinner with excellent company.

 

I distributed this official looking note to a few tender view staterooms:

 

“Holland America's Emergency Muster procedures have been revised on the Noordam cruise departing September 20, 2018 and effective October 4, 2018. Steps 1 and 2 are the same. Step 3 has changed for your Ocean View cabin on Deck 4. When other cruisers are told to proceed to their muster station on Deck 3 in their life vests in warm clothing with their medicine, you will be directed to remain in your cabin similarly prepared. In the unlikely event that evacuation by lifeboat is ordered, you are to break your cabin window, climb on the catwalk outside, and remove the canvas from the lifeboat door. This will speed up evacuation of the ship. In return for performing these duties, you have first choice of seats in the lifeboat and will receive 30% off your next Holland America cruise. If you are unable to understand spoken and written English or are unable or unwilling to perform these duties, please contact your cabin steward immediately. Thank you.”

 

Really enjoyed your notice about Emergency Muster. We had one of these cabins and that's what I always told my husband we could do! It is quite a shock to come into your cabin after a day ashore and all you want to do is fall on the bed, but, there are men staring into your cabin from the tenders.

[whogo]

Is "tender view cabin" and unfair description?

[Dogstar]

Is "tender view cabin" and unfair description?

 

 

 

Seems reasonable enough ... Category TV . [emoji521]

[Beachfrog]

What fun this is reading your report! I am enjoying your trip with you!

[Copper10-8]

You, Mr. Whogo, are one funny dude! :D And yes, the lifeboats are white colored below the orange, HAL's tribute to the Dutch Royal House of Orange (as opposed to the Royal House of Windsor with the stiff upper lip) ;p

[whogo]

Thursday, October 4, 2018, at sea headed towards Hawaii

 

Warmer today, fewer people wore jackets. Last night's comedian, Jason Neistadt, was occasionally very funny, sometimes a little bluer than I have heard on Holland America. This would be a good time to mention a couple of topless sightings, apparently condoned by Holland America. Some of you may want to consider whether Holland America adheres to your Bible Belt sensitivities. Right there, right outside the main dining room, in full view of everyone, although I quickly averted my eyes, there are definitely topless statues on both deck 2 and 3. Half naked female statues. The images are burned into my retinae, cruise is ruined. Time to write to Mr. Ashford.

 

This was truly a relaxing day. Spent the day reading and eating, the promenade deck was perfect for me, others would have preferred it warmer and sunny. The big excitement of the day was spotting a bird flapping in the distance and diving down near the water, pulse quickening excitement. I am from the prairie, don't have a clue what kind of bird it was.

 

The piano bar is closed Thursdays. Diane said she has never before had a day off on any contract. Enjoyed BB King's late show, they drew a crowd to the dance floor. The ship closed up at at 11:30. Staff had a private party in Northern Lights, saw a number of cruisers disappointed that it was closed. I did not check the Crow's Nest, maybe something was happening there.

[BBQ Lover]

Thursday, October 4, 2018, at sea headed towards Hawaii

 

Warmer today, fewer people wore jackets. Last night's comedian, Jason Neistadt, was occasionally very funny, sometimes a little bluer than I have heard on Holland America. This would be a good time to mention a couple of topless sightings, apparently condoned by Holland America. Some of you may want to consider whether Holland America adheres to your Bible Belt sensitivities. Right there, right outside the main dining room, in full view of everyone, although I quickly averted my eyes, there are definitely topless statues on both deck 2 and 3. Half naked female statues. The images are burned into my retinae, cruise is ruined. Time to write to Mr. Ashford.

It's a good thing that you were able to quickly avert your eyes. Just take a deep breath and try to relax. I'm here to help you. The number one thing you need now is strict adherence to the Billy Graham Rule. Only Mrs W can protect you now so make sure that she is with you every time you are within 2500 feet of the MDR and those lust inspiring statues. It seems a little extreme but it is the only way to make sure that you don't attack those statues and try to steal their virtue.

 

Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

Edited October 6, 2018 by BBQ Lover

[whogo]

Friday, October 5, 2018

Turned our clocks back the third hour of the cruise last night, we are on Hawaii time, now, if my figuring is correct and it may not be. I like being out and about early, before the ship comes alive, just me and the hose guys on the promenade deck.

 

Spent much of the day reading on the shady side of the promenade deck. Did not realize how much salt spray I was catching until I checked my glasses, had to wash them five times today. Salt spray is never a problem back home in the Midwest. Finished Pineapple Grenade by my new favorite author Tim Dorsey and made a good dent in Unbroken by Laura Hellenbrand.

 

Mrs. W sighed deeply this morning.

 

Me: What's the matter dear?

Mrs. W: Nothing.

 

It is a female thing. I have done something wrong and she is communicating that I have done something wrong in a female language I can't understand. Toilet seat up? Toothpaste in the sink? I have committed some offense, don't know what or when. I am walking on eggshells.

 

Realized the lazy days are over, we reach Honolulu tomorrow. Aagh! I don't remember how to do ports. Calmed myself with some garlic, rosemary lamb for lunch in the Lido. I have figured out how to minimize aggravations there.

 

Lost at afternoon trivia. The hose guys chased me off the promenade deck at 6:00 for another cleaning. Lost at evening trivia, have not won yet this cruise.

 

Headed now to Unique3's late show. Will check out the piano bar after.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Thursday, October 4, 2018, at sea headed towards Hawaii

 

Warmer today, fewer people wore jackets. Last night's comedian, Jason Neistadt, was occasionally very funny, sometimes a little bluer than I have heard on Holland America. This would be a good time to mention a couple of topless sightings, apparently condoned by Holland America. Some of you may want to consider whether Holland America adheres to your Bible Belt sensitivities. Right there, right outside the main dining room, in full view of everyone, although I quickly averted my eyes, there are definitely topless statues on both deck 2 and 3. Half naked female statues. The images are burned into my retinae, cruise is ruined. Time to write to Mr. Ashford.

 

This was truly a relaxing day. Spent the day reading and eating, the promenade deck was perfect for me, others would have preferred it warmer and sunny. The big excitement of the day was spotting a bird flapping in the distance and diving down near the water, pulse quickening excitement. I am from the prairie, don't have a clue what kind of bird it was.

 

The piano bar is closed Thursdays. Diane said she has never before had a day off on any contract. Enjoyed BB King's late show, they drew a crowd to the dance floor. The ship closed up at at 11:30. Staff had a private party in Northern Lights, saw a number of cruisers disappointed that it was closed. I did not check the Crow's Nest, maybe something was happening there.

 

 

Love it.

But I am curious why you didn't go back to your cabin and get a couple of robes to cover up those poor half dressed ladies?

[Krazy Kruizers]

Sorry that your lazy sea days are almost over as you approach Hawaii.

Lamb chops for lunch -- my mouth is watering. Love them.

[Charlies Aunt]

Love that view from your window!

 

Thank you for making me laugh.

[knittinggirl]

We did this cruise last year and loved it.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[whogo]

ut I am curious why you didn't go back to your cabin and get a couple of robes to cover up those poor half dressed ladies?

Only Mrs W can protect you now so make sure that she is with you every time you are within 2500 feet of the MDR and those lust inspiring statues.

Mrs. Whogo has taken to guiding me by my ear away from the statues.