Dress for Cunard

[harpy3]

What I don't understand is why people insist they want to sail on Cunard, but don't care to follow the traditions of dress that make it different and want it changed to suit them.  Are they just determined to  be perverse.  There are hundreds/thousands of cruise ships out there all the time that do not have the great traditions--and wonderful opportunities to "dress to the nines"-- that make Cunard a special event crossing.  Or are these folks just trolls.

[navybankerteacher]

6 hours ago, harpy3 said:

What I don't understand is why people insist they want to sail on Cunard, but don't care to follow the traditions of dress that make it different and want it changed to suit them.  Are they just determined to  be perverse.  There are hundreds/thousands of cruise ships out there all the time that do not have the great traditions--and wonderful opportunities to "dress to the nines"-- that make Cunard a special event crossing.  Or are these folks just trolls.

It is simply a matter of self obsession.  People generally want what they want when they want it. They may like 90% of what they understand a Cunard sailing to be - but if that other 10% does not perfectly jibe with what they want - they will do what they want.  After all: “it’s my vacation - nobody is going to tell me what to do” is the theme song of cruisers everywhere.

[Se1lad]

I've been lucky on my 3 recent Cunard cruises, and (in terms of the formal non gala nights) have never really seen anyone flouting the dress code.  There may have been some people in ancient dinner jackets that have seen better days, but everyone adhered to the spirit of the code.  The worst 'transgression' I witnessed was where people in the Commodore club had to be politely reminded that it had gone 6pm and it was time to change for dinner.

 

Regarding the theme nights, I went to fix my neighbors computer last night.  She goes ballroom dancing occasionally, but has never done a cruise with any line.  I showed her all the information on the Cunard website on dress codes, and the descriptions of a few of the theme nights and asked her what she would wear.  For Roaring Twenties she said that she didn't have any art deco or vintage ballroom wear and for Black and White that she disliked wearing all black as it made her think of going to funerals and her complexion didn't really suit white.  As the Cunard website said that the theme was optional she presumed there would be no problem wearing one of her regular ballroom gowns.  She did say that if it was mandatory she would adhere to it and probably buy a 2nd hand gown that would cover both themes.   This is in the line with how I would think too (though obviously I never wear ballroom gowns lol!)

 

On my last few cruises at the world club party the captain said that round half the cruisers were new to Cunard.  Its probably not unreasonable some of them will think similar.  I don't think that's being selfish or self obsessed - that's just working with the information available on the website.  Some experienced cruisers may think that this not in line with the great traditions of Cunard, but if Cunard themselves don't mandate it then I presume its not a top priority to them.

 

In any case I hope other people's choice of attire doesn't spoil anyone's holiday - after all we are all lucky to be able to have the resources and opportunity to sail on Cunard, and there are so many more important and worthwhile thing in life to get upset about.

 

[Underwatr]

That's one of the things I appreciated about the old Chart Room on QV and will miss. Its location near Britannia meant there was some place one could go before first seating dinner where most of the people had changed into their evening clothes. The Commodore Club is still too casual at 5:30 PM especially on a formal night.

 

[Se1lad]

1 hour ago, Underwatr said:

That's one of the things I appreciated about the old Chart Room on QV and will miss. Its location near Britannia meant there was some place one could go before first seating dinner where most of the people had changed into their evening clothes. The Commodore Club is still too casual at 5:30 PM especially on a formal night.

 

You raise a good point - whilst 5.30 may be a little early for those on a late sitting,  it is when those on early dining would be coming down for an aperitif.  Maybe the solution would be to make one of the bars (like the chart room) formal from 5.30 for those dining early?

Edited May 26, 2019 by Se1lad

[BobBranst]

3 hours ago, Se1lad said:

 

She goes ballroom dancing occasionally, but has never done a cruise with any line.  I showed her all the information on the Cunard website on dress codes, and the descriptions of a few of the theme nights and asked her what she would wear.  For Roaring Twenties she said that she didn't have any art deco or vintage ballroom wear and for Black and White that she disliked wearing all black as it made her think of going to funerals and her complexion didn't really suit white. 

 

Perhaps your friend needs to watch the old Audrey Hepburn movie  "My Fair Lady" to see how beautiful (and non-funeral like) black and white dresses can be.   Today's dress designers continue to make evening gowns in black & /or white that stand out in a crowd without resorting to garish colors.

 

Prior to our first crossing on the QM2,  DW had never even owned a long evening gown nor learned ballroom style dancing.   We started taking ballroom dance lessons at our local ballroom and went shopping for evening wear .  We found her a moderately price black sequined gown suitable for dancing by Adrianna Papell at Macy's.  The sales lady told us that black dresses never go out of style and that appears to be the truth.    Now, years later, she takes a black gown along with a different gown for each of the other Formal (I hate calling it "Gala") nights.  They don't take up much space in the suitcase.   However, shoes...  

Edited May 26, 2019 by BobBranst

[BobBranst]

1 hour ago, Se1lad said:

You raise a good point - whilst 5.30 may be a little early for those on a late sitting,  it is when those on early dining would be coming down for an aperitif.  Maybe the solution would be to make one of the bars (like the chart room) formal from 5.30 for those dining early?

The most logical thing would be to change the entire ship to formal at 5:30.   

[Se1lad]

10 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

The most logical thing would be to change the entire ship to formal at 5:30.   

There are still some daytime events going on 5-6 though, that's why I thought my idea was a good compromise.  For example if I am dining at 8.30 and want to attend the LGBT drinks at 5-6 in the Commodore Club I don't really want to get dressed for the evening at 4.30pm for the 5pm drinks.  Going to the cabin at 6 pm to start getting ready for dinner at 8/8.30 works much better.  Fully support having one bar formal only for the early diners - even at 5pm,  seems like a reasonable compromise to me.

[Se1lad]

30 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

 

Perhaps your friend needs to watch the old Audrey Hepburn movie  "My Fair Lady" to see how beautiful (and non-funeral like) black and white dresses can be.   Today's dress designers continue to make evening gowns in black & /or white that stand out in a crowd without resorting to garish colors.

 

Prior to our first crossing on the QM2,  DW had never even owned a long evening gown nor learned ballroom style dancing.   We started taking ballroom dance lessons at our local ballroom and went shopping for evening wear .  We found her a moderately price black sequined gown suitable for dancing by Adrianna Papell at Macy's.  The sales lady told us that black dresses never go out of style and that appears to be the truth.    Now, years later, she takes a black gown along with a different gown for each of the other Formal (I hate calling it "Gala") nights.  They don't take up much space in the suitcase.   However, shoes...  

I didn't mention garish colours anywhere - (unless everything except for black and white is considered garish!)  The point I was trying to make was that if you are a first time cruiser on Cunard, based on the information available on the website you wouldn't have to be self centred or obsessed to decide not to pack for the optional theme nights. 

You are right though - there are some Adrianna Papell  bargains to be had in the UK too - just looked on John Lewis and you get gowns for under £75.

Edited May 26, 2019 by Se1lad

[3rdGenCunarder]

2 hours ago, Se1lad said:

You raise a good point - whilst 5.30 may be a little early for those on a late sitting,  it is when those on early dining would be coming down for an aperitif.  Maybe the solution would be to make one of the bars (like the chart room) formal from 5.30 for those dining early?

 

I have wished for this since my first crossing on QM2, and I agree with your suggestion of the chartroom.. The Chart Room on QM2 is near Britannia Restaurant, so it's easy to go there for cocktails before dinner. We always liked to get there just as the first music set of the evening was starting, and when that finished it was time for early dinner. On formal nights, there would always be a mix of people who hadn't left to change and those who were already dressed for dinner.

 

[3rdGenCunarder]

1 hour ago, BobBranst said:

 

Perhaps your friend needs to watch the old Audrey Hepburn movie  "My Fair Lady" to see how beautiful (and non-funeral like) black and white dresses can be.   Today's dress designers continue to make evening gowns in black & /or white that stand out in a crowd without resorting to garish colors.

 

Prior to our first crossing on the QM2,  DW had never even owned a long evening gown nor learned ballroom style dancing.   We started taking ballroom dance lessons at our local ballroom and went shopping for evening wear .  We found her a moderately price black sequined gown suitable for dancing by Adrianna Papell at Macy's.  The sales lady told us that black dresses never go out of style and that appears to be the truth.    Now, years later, she takes a black gown along with a different gown for each of the other Formal (I hate calling it "Gala") nights.  They don't take up much space in the suitcase.   However, shoes...  

 

Yes black is always in style. I do have black evening gowns for B&W night, but I like to wear colors other nights. I live near NYC, and nearly all gowns and cocktail dresses in the department stores are black. A few red, a few beige. Blue or green are hard to find. It's true what they say about New Yorkers, "We're only wearing black until someone comes up with a darker color."

 

[BobBranst]

13 minutes ago, Se1lad said:

I didn't mention garish colours anywhere - (unless everything except for black and white is considered garish!)  The point I was trying to make was that if you are a first time cruiser on Cunard, based on the information available on the website you wouldn't have to be self centred or obsessed to decide not to pack for the optional theme nights. 

You are right though - there are some Adrianna Papell  bargains to be had in the UK too - just looked on John Lewis and you get gowns for under £75.

 

I did not mean to infer that you mentioned garish colors.   I was just trying to point out that a black &/or white gown can be quite stylish and would not be out of place on ANY night.   If a lady is limited to only one gown, B &/or W would be a good choice, whereas brightly colored dresses are of questionable taste for a Black & White Ball (on the Queens Room dance floor) even if the website does say "optional" and not "mandatory".

[Host Hattie]

 
I did not mean to infer that you mentioned garish colors.   I was just trying to point out that a black &/or white gown can be quite stylish and would not be out of place on ANY night.   If a lady is limited to only one gown, B &/or W would be a good choice, whereas brightly colored dresses are of questionable taste for a Black & White Ball (on the Queens Room dance floor) even if the website does say "optional" and not "mandatory".

In your opinion ....

Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk

[BobBranst]

20 minutes ago, Host Hattie said:

In your opinion ....

Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk
 

Correct.... In my opinion..   Every post here is that person's opinion.

[Host Hattie]

32 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

Correct.... In my opinion..   Every post here is that person's opinion.

 

Not really, most posters here try to answer questions based on Cunard's policy, not their own opinion of what is "respectful".

At the end of the second decade of the 21st century I had hoped we'd moved men feeling they could tell women how to dress.

[navybankerteacher]

15 minutes ago, Host Hattie said:

 

Not really, most posters here try to answer questions based on Cunard's policy, not their own opinion of what is "respectful".

At the end of the second decade of the 21st century I had hoped we'd moved men feeling they could tell women how to dress.

Neither gender should be in a position to “tell the other how to dress”   —- still, there is a certain something about people wanting to dress attractively - and hoping that others would feel the same —— particularly when they choose an environment (like Cunard) where traditional dress is expected —- and which is chosen by many precisely because of that expectation.   Flouting such expectation can only be seen as disrespectful.

[BobBranst]

41 minutes ago, Host Hattie said:

 

Not really, most posters here try to answer questions based on Cunard's policy, not their own opinion of what is "respectful".

At the end of the second decade of the 21st century I had hoped we'd moved men feeling they could tell women how to dress.

 

In your opinion...  

 

I had hoped that people (both men & women) would continue to respect the historic Cunard traditions that are one of the main reasons so many people continue to chose Cunard even as Carnival whittles away at those traditions.  

 

I don't know of anyone who can actually "tell" a woman what to do or wear.  One can point out reasons why they should wear something, but everyone who has ever been married knows, todays women can't be told to do anything they don't want to do.   And yes... that is my opinion.

Edited May 26, 2019 by BobBranst

[naturelovergirl]

The way I see it (and the way that many others see it)... Dress beautifully on the Gala nights-  have fun. Choose formal attire which makes you feel lovely... or handsome... or glamorous... or whatever you are hoping to achieve aesthetically in your formal.

The themed nights (and colors) are merely suggestions if you would like to participate in them.

The dress code is formal- so follow that, absolutely... otherwise, as far as style and colors it is your choice.

Pick a formal you love.

Certainly Black & White was the easiest for me to come up with what I wanted to wear- and yes, I have chosen black and silver because I love black- it is a staple of my wardrobe... I've also had great fun putting together my formal attire for the Roaring 20's evening... AND I am choosing a beautiful formal for the Royal Cunard Ball in a color of my own choosing (instead of following a suggested red, gold, or black) I have purchased my gown precisely for this night, and cannot wait to wear it!

Always remember that a vacation is fun- and having the opportunity to dress up on Cunard can be part of that fun too.

I look forward to seeing my fellow passengers dressed up in their lovely attire too. I shall be admiring the beauty.

[Se1lad]

44 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

 

I had hoped that people (both men & women) would continue to respect the historic Cunard traditions that are one of the main reasons so many people continue to chose Cunard even as Carnival whittles away at those traditions.  

 

So if a new cruiser reads the dress code on Cunard website for the theme nights, and even emails them and is told that is optional, how can they possibly called disrespectful and not respecting the historic Cunard traditions.  Apart from on this or similar forums does it actually say anywhere that it’s disrespectful not to adhere to the optional dress code?

 

note I am not trying to be awkward here - I would always respect a dress code that was mandatory or even one that was recommended to ensure the enjoyment of other guests etc.  It just doesn’t seem to be the case here.

 

on a side note the post the other day someone made about red dresses with flashing lights influenced my dreams last night - I dreamt someone in Queens Grill turned up wearing a bow tie with flashing lights that span round and squirted water!  Now I think that would be disrespectful - especially if it extinguished the flambé ! 

[BobBranst]

If you would kindly go back and read my previous posts #59, #78, and $90, you will see that I have been referring specifically to the ladies dress on the Queens Room Ballroom Dance Floor for the Black & White Ball - not the entire ship.   If you aren't dancing, I could care less what you wear.

[Se1lad]

27 minutes ago, BobBranst said:

If you would kindly go back and read my previous posts #59, #78, and $90, you will see that I have been referring specifically to the ladies dress on the Queens Room Ballroom Dance Floor for the Black & White Ball - not the entire ship.   If you aren't dancing, I could care less what you wear.

My question still stands though - where does it say anywhere on the Cunard site (Or elsewhere else apart from this forum) that its disrespectful to wear anything but black and white on the dance floor during the Black & White ball?

 

apologies if I wasn’t specific enough before 

Edited May 26, 2019 by Se1lad

[navybankerteacher]

1 hour ago, Se1lad said:

So if a new cruiser reads the dress code on Cunard website for the theme nights, and even emails them and is told that is optional, how can they possibly called disrespectful and not respecting the historic Cunard traditions. 

...

1 hour ago, Se1lad said:

 

note I am not trying to be awkward here - I would always respect a dress code that was mandatory or even one that was recommended to ensure the enjoyment of other guests etc.  It just doesn’t seem to be the case here.

 

...

Please: of course you would “always respect a dress code that was mandatory” . If it were “mandatory” you would have no choice.  

 

You would either dress appropriately for the event/venue, or you could not attend.  

 

Failing to comply with a suggested dress code, while possible,  is certainly disrespectful.

 

 

[Host Hattie]

19 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

...

Please: of course you would “always respect a dress code that was mandatory” . If it were “mandatory” you would have no choice.  

 

You would either dress appropriately for the event/venue, or you could not attend.  

 

Failing to comply with a suggested dress code, while possible,  is certainly disrespectful.

 

 

 

Are you confusing the dress codes, Gala, Smart Attire with the themed evenings ?

Ignoring the former would certainly be disrespectful, but I don't agree about the latter.

[Se1lad]

26 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

 

Failing to comply with a suggested dress code, while possible,  is certainly disrespectful.

 

 

The suggested dress code for theme nights is described on the Cunard site as optional.

 

looking up optional in the dictionary I see this:

 

not necessary or demanded but possibleor available; depending on what you decide to do

 

so how can deciding not to follow it be disrespectful as Cunard don’t provide any additional caveats?

 

[navybankerteacher]

1 minute ago, Host Hattie said:

 

Are you confusing the dress codes, Gala, Smart Attire with the themed evenings ?

Ignoring the former would certainly be disrespectful, but I don't agree about the latter.

I do not think so - the portions of the post to which I intended to respond  were concerned with “dress code”  — either mandatory or recommended.     From the direction other lines have taken it is pretty clear that calling a dress code “recommended” rather than “mandatory” is simply the first, essentially irreversible, step  in effectively eliminating that dress code.    

 

Of course, using a hazy term like “gala” in lieu of the more specific “formal” is likely the first step along that path.