Spouse disliked TA first time- anyone with spouse who liked better later in life?

[Petoonya]

We did a a Rio to Barcelona on O 10 years ago. I loved, dh disliked. There were only three ports, Praia in Cape Verde Islands(very sad place, full of the worst poverty and homelessness), Tenerife and Barcelona. My husband was 62, still working and very active. Although he loves O, that cruise bored him to death. So yesterday I booked another for 2021 (!), 14 day Miami to Rome, stops in Bermuda, Azores, and Malaga. He'd then be 74 years in 2021. We're both avid snorkelers and figure he'd be happy in Bermuda and Costa Del Sol. Plus after the cruise we can spend time in the Sorrento area which he loves. He's till very active, working out heavily 4x week and loves the gym on O. Other than being an avid reader he doesn't partake in other stuff on O. We've done Papeete to LA with stops in Tahiti and Hawaii which he loved even tho lots of sea days, but the ports are heaven.

 

Is it possible for one to get get older, change and love a TA? Anyone have experience with that? He's lukewarm on this cruise but loves TA pricing.

[Hawaiidan]

1 hour ago, Petoonya said:

We did a a Rio to Barcelona on O 10 years ago. I loved, dh disliked. There were only three ports, Praia in Cape Verde Islands(very sad place, full of the worst poverty and homelessness), Tenerife and Barcelona. My husband was 62, still working and very active. Although he loves O, that cruise bored him to death. So yesterday I booked another for 2021 (!), 14 day Miami to Rome, stops in Bermuda, Azores, and Malaga. He'd then be 74 years in 2021. We're both avid snorkelers and figure he'd be happy in Bermuda and Costa Del Sol. Plus after the cruise we can spend time in the Sorrento area which he loves. He's till very active, working out heavily 4x week and loves the gym on O. Other than being an avid reader he doesn't partake in other stuff on O. We've done Papeete to LA with stops in Tahiti and Hawaii which he loved even tho lots of sea days, but the ports are heaven.

 

Is it possible for one to get get older, change and love a TA? Anyone have experience with that? He's lukewarm on this cruise but loves TA pricing.

 

No...I have had my Agent for 15 years.... if you do not like the cruise he booked you on have a talk with him and express your wants more specifically.   I could tell you my agent but  that would be against the rules.   Dont jump ship because of an agent who thought  he was serving you.....  as it might be a failure to communicate is the problem.

[KS&JW]

Hawaiidan - Petoonya means Trans Atlantic, (TA)  not travel agent.  

[warburg]

Greetings, Petoonya, from South Beach. We  have sailed TAs on assorted lines, and some DH liked and others not. The last few have been most successful because of the ships. TAs on QM2 were great because shipboard activities are marvelous. Since there are no ports between Red Hook, Brooklyn and Southampton, they'd better be. It didn't hurt, though, that we had wonderful accommodations. Riviera and Explorer are our favorite ships, and if the port are ghastly, they kind of make up for that. Not every place can  be Paris or Visby, and the world is what it is. Our next TA on Riviera sails from Rome (Civitavecchia) to Miami in October of 2020. That we live on South Beach is a plus. 

 

Atlantic TAs have become more popular over the years. Shipboard activities have improved as well. Maybe your DH might want to review current itineraries and reviews. Hopefully, there is something out there that you both will enjoy.

Mary

[Petoonya]

1 hour ago, Hawaiidan said:

 

No...I have had my Agent for 15 years.... if you do not like the cruise he booked you on have a talk with him and express your wants more specifically.   I could tell you my agent but  that would be against the rules.   Dont jump ship because of an agent who thought  he was serving you.....  as it might be a failure to communicate is the problem.

Yeah, I'm sorry Dan. Wondered if that might be confusing. But I did mean transatlantic.

 

2 minutes ago, warburg said:

  Atlantic TAs have become more popular over the years. Shipboard activities have improved as well. Maybe your DH might want to review current itineraries and reviews. Hopefully, there is something out there that you both will enjoy.

Mary

Thanks very much Mary. Your encouragement is helpful. He does like this itinerary better than others specifically because it ends in Rome. He's just not sure that he can put up with the long intervals between ports any better than he did before. I think this will be the itinerary if I can convince him that he's older and maybe won't be quite as restless as he was 12 years ago. He's slower in thinking but not slower in activity level so hopefully the former will make it easier. Thanks once again for your help.

[Granny DI]

3 hours ago, Petoonya said:

We did a a Rio to Barcelona on O 10 years ago. I loved, dh disliked. There were only three ports, Praia in Cape Verde Islands(very sad place, full of the worst poverty and homelessness), Tenerife and Barcelona. My husband was 62, still working and very active. Although he loves O, that cruise bored him to death. So yesterday I booked another for 2021 (!), 14 day Miami to Rome, stops in Bermuda, Azores, and Malaga. He'd then be 74 years in 2021. We're both avid snorkelers and figure he'd be happy in Bermuda and Costa Del Sol. Plus after the cruise we can spend time in the Sorrento area which he loves. He's till very active, working out heavily 4x week and loves the gym on O. Other than being an avid reader he doesn't partake in other stuff on O. We've done Papeete to LA with stops in Tahiti and Hawaii which he loved even tho lots of sea days, but the ports are heaven.

 

Is it possible for one to get get older, change and love a TA? Anyone have experience with that? He's lukewarm on this cruise but loves TA pricing.

My DH is also 74 and it’s worse.  He drove me nuts on the QM2 from NYC to the North Cape and back to NYC. We were on the ship 24 days. Day 17 was Southampton.....he wanted to get off the ship and fly back to NYC. This was about 10 years ago. We have done many 14 day cruises since and he is fine if it is port intensive....but two consecutive sea days is a no go for him. 

[Petoonya]

6 minutes ago, Granny DI said:

My DH is also 74 and it’s worse.  He drove me nuts on the QM2 from NYC to the North Cape and back to NYC. We were on the ship 24 days. Day 17 was Southampton.....he wanted to get off the ship and fly back to NYC. This was about 10 years ago. We have done many 14 day cruises since and he is fine if it is port intensive....but two consecutive sea days is a no go for him. 

Whoa Granny DI....not what I wanted to hear but the feedback I needed to hear! The other side of the coin is that we just did a 17 day that had 15 port days and he was sick and tired of that towards the end. But your husband wanting to get off and fly back is the worst I've heard. Maybe I'll just hang on to our reservation and let him evaluate at final payment time or when it would be time to get flights, rather than hope he enjoys. We have another Papeete- SF next April- will see how he is on that again and re-evaluate. Thanks once more.

[Granny DI]

8 minutes ago, Petoonya said:

Whoa Granny DI....not what I wanted to hear but the feedback I needed to hear! The other side of the coin is that we just did a 17 day that had 15 port days and he was sick and tired of that towards the end. But your husband wanting to get off and fly back is the worst I've heard. Maybe I'll just hang on to our reservation and let him evaluate at final payment time or when it would be time to get flights, rather than hope he enjoys. We have another Papeete- SF next April- will see how he is on that again and re-evaluate. Thanks once more.

DH says 14 days is too long now but 11 days is manageable. DH has to be doing something 24/7. I on the other hand enjoy days without cooking, laundry, cleaning etc. 

[Petoonya]

21 minutes ago, Granny DI said:

DH says 14 days is too long now but 11 days is manageable. DH has to be doing something 24/7. I on the other hand enjoy days without cooking, laundry, cleaning etc. 

 

I'm with you Granny DI. Just love relaxing, being waited on, nice people, reading, eating amazing food, yoga classes- it's all good.

DH is up on the same things, and it might just be the last TA was a little TOO boring. The ports for this while not too plentiful are better than the last time. So hoping that maybe ending up in Italy he might find it more exciting to have something to look forward to- and not want to get off and fly home on Tenerife like your husband wanted to!

Edited April 19, 2019 by Petoonya

[Granny DI]

2 minutes ago, Petoonya said:

 

I'm with you Granny DI. Just love relaxing, being waited on, nice people, reading, eating amazing food, yoga classes- it's all good.

DH is up on the same things, and it might just be the last TA was a little TOO boring. The ports for this while not too plentiful are better than the last time. So hoping that maybe ending up in Italy he might find it more exciting to have something to look forward to- and not want to get off and fly home on Tenerife like your husband wanted to!

Tell him the cruise beats 10 hours on an airplane to Italy. DH hates flying more than sea days! I love sea days!

Cruising is a real vacation for me......DH doesn’t cook, clean or do laundry so cruising to him is just a location change.

[Petoonya]

2 minutes ago, Granny DI said:

Tell him the cruise beats 10 hours on an airplane to Italy. DH hates flying more than sea days! I love sea days!

Cruising is a real vacation for me......DH doesn’t cook, clean or do laundry so cruising to him is just a location change.

Your husband and mine might be best friends. Maybe we ought to book a cruise together!

[Mura]

When we were first really cruising (think Renaissance back in 1999-2000) we both disliked sea days.

 

Then Ren bellied up and we booked an NCL Buenos Aires-Santiago cruise in January 2002 which because of the itinerary had frequent sea days.  We came to like them.  Both of us!

 

It can depend on the ship and the shipboard activities offered, of course.

 

But we now both love TAs (as in transatlantics 😀).

 

There's always hope hubby will change!

 

Mura

 

[pinotlover]

We can stay in 5 star hotels, eat in Michelin starred restaurants, play great golf courses, and walk beautiful beaches for the same prices as sitting in a cabin multiple days on a TA. Additionally, we don’t have to normally worry about rough weather tossing our hotel about or noro. It’s strictly a personal thing, but deciding between 4 days at the Four Seasons on Nevis versus the same period floating in the middle of the Atlantic is a reflex not a decision, the former wins out.

 

We love cruising and seeing the ports of call, but one Sea day about every 5th or sixth day is perfect for us. Our 20 day cruise later this summer has 6 sea days and that’s hitting the limits for us.

 

I don’t believe hitting 74 will change our attitude on this subject much, maybe at 84!

Edited April 20, 2019 by pinotlover

[Petoonya]

34 minutes ago, pinotlover said:

We can stay in 5 star hotels, eat in Michelin starred restaurants, play great golf courses, and walk beautiful beaches for the same prices as sitting in a cabin multiple days on a TA. Additionally, we don’t have to normally worry about rough weather tossing our hotel about or noro. It’s strictly a personal thing, but deciding between 4 days at the Four Seasons on Nevis versus the same period floating in the middle of the Atlantic is a reflex not a decision, the former wins out.

 

We love cruising and seeing the ports of call, but one Sea day about every 5th or sixth day is perfect for us. Our 20 day cruise later this summer has 6 sea days and that’s hitting the limits for us.

 

I don’t believe hitting 74 will change our attitude on this subject much, maybe at 84!

Haha!!!!!

Was leaning to that way of thinking about 74 vs. 84! He's a pretty young 72 now anyway.

I don't know though Pinot. We always book el cheapo inside and the total for 14 days is $4800 and $1200 SBC which I think would not do top of the line,  hotels etc for that long. The ship board credit would pay for a lot of pinot noir. Plus it ends in Italy which avoids the long flight he hates. I'm just going to hang on to it and see what happens since it's 2 yrs from now and not get my heart set on it. We can do Hawaii again as an alternative and husband never tires of that. Wise input from you. Most appreciative.

[RJB]

3 hours ago, pinotlover said:

We can stay in 5 star hotels, eat in Michelin starred restaurants, play great golf courses, and walk beautiful beaches for the same prices as sitting in a cabin multiple days on a TA. Additionally, we don’t have to normally worry about rough weather tossing our hotel about or noro. It’s strictly a personal thing, but deciding between 4 days at the Four Seasons on Nevis versus the same period floating in the middle of the Atlantic is a reflex not a decision, the former wins out.

 

We love cruising and seeing the ports of call, but one Sea day about every 5th or sixth day is perfect for us. Our 20 day cruise later this summer has 6 sea days and that’s hitting the limits for us.

 

I don’t believe hitting 74 will change our attitude on this subject much, maybe at 84!

Different strokes as they say.  I love the sea days and my BW not so much,  After our last T/A she changed her mind a little so we booked another one.  Can't wait even thou its some time away. 

[Hawaiidan]

It boils down  to what do you want.   Some love 4-5 star hotel resorts.   Some Loathe them   Some love sea days  Some hate them.   Some Love cruises   Some would never........ 

We all have choices      Your spouse does too.          Its simple since it is really you who makes the decision and has the want to travel. 

 While it is nice to have your spouse or a companion you dont need their approval in reality. 

 

  Oh, it would be nice but in truth its your decision.      By all means  invite but let them know your wants and that your going   It would be fun to have them  but why let another's decision  affect your's ?

 

I meet  all the time  older couples who disagree on when and where to travel...   Many times they take their own cruise/vacation   not wanting to be forced to sit i at home watching Dr Phil  for the rest of their life .  It is really the problem for the other person to deal with.  It is their decision  not to go with you that they are responsible for.... not yours, you invited them.  They said no not you.

    

Is it selfish for you to want to travel  some way, or by some means  ?     Or is it selfish for a spouse to deny  you because of their outlook or opinion in spite of yours...?????

 

  We all have a finite life and need to understand that we have only so much time to utilize.

Edited April 20, 2019 by Hawaiidan

[Petoonya]

45 minutes ago, Hawaiidan said:

We all have a finite life and need to understand that we have only so much time to utilize.

 

So true, but in our situation we have a finite number of dollars to spend on vacations. And since we only have so much time and so many assets left, I'd rather spend what's left of them with him. Can find lots of other vacations that he'd totally love.

 

I sure appreciate your advice though. Truly gave me pause and most appreciative.

[Hawaiidan]

2 hours ago, Petoonya said:

 

So true, but in our situation we have a finite number of dollars to spend on vacations. And since we only have so much time and so many assets left, I'd rather spend what's left of them with him. Can find lots of other vacations that he'd totally love.

 

I sure appreciate your advice though. Truly gave me pause and most appreciative.

Your  more than welcome....

  there are times when My wife did not want to go on a  trip to france for dining...  It was not her thing.. Fine   She had no porblem with me going for a week. 

 Then A WW2 memorial trip of 30 days  again she declined   I went.    Too there are places she loves I loathe...   she takes off for 2 weeks. or so      We also travel together and have done so for 30 years.   We have no problem with taking time now for our own wants, inviting the other, but not making it mandatory for our happiness

We too have a budget that does provide for vacation/ trips    That budget  can be used by 1 or 2 persons.   If one declines then that  person going  gets it.  The other, having declined, kows that and it is good with it.   

They realize it was their choice to .    And it would work the other way too.       

   Too many folks tie themselves and sacrifice to doing things another persons way without them considering our wants or needs  Vacations line life are a series of give and take...it should be equal    

[Queen of DaNile]

On 4/19/2019 at 2:13 PM, Petoonya said:

We did a a Rio to Barcelona on O 10 years ago. I loved, dh disliked. There were only three ports, Praia in Cape Verde Islands(very sad place, full of the worst poverty and homelessness), Tenerife and Barcelona.

😨 We're doing the reverse TA this November but stopping in Mindelo rather than Praia. Hoping it's a bit better than your experience.

[Petoonya]

4 hours ago, Queen of DaNile said:

😨 We're doing the reverse TA this November but stopping in Mindelo rather than Praia. Hoping it's a bit better than your experience.

There are supposed to be some beautiful beaches and scenic areas outside of Mindelo. Hope you'll post about your TA adventure this winter!

[Petoonya]

12 hours ago, RJB said:

Different strokes as they say.  I love the sea days and my BW not so much,  After our last T/A she changed her mind a little so we booked another one.  Can't wait even thou its some time away. 

 

This is what I was hoping to hear! Husband's actually coming around already. Especially because he'll get an O experience for an NCL price. Ka-ching!

[warburg]

Hello, again, Petoonya. I was thinking about your situation and it occurred to me that one change might improve you DH's attitude. You say you go really cheapo, inside et al. How about moving up a notch to at least a window? Daylight and the sight of the moving ocean can be refreshing and soothing. Our next TA is 16 days with at least part of everyday moving over water. The idea of an inside for that length of time is out. Even cavemen wanted light and the lucky ones were near the opening. Just  a thought.

Mary

[Banti]

We are mid-70’s, and did our first T/A two years ago. We loved it so much we did another last year, and have two more booked for this year and next. But the difference is we do them in November, from Europe to Miami (to Rio this November). We have found the weather during the crossings to be warm and sunny, on the two crossings we have done so far. And the best part is, with the many time changes, you get 25 hour days, instead of the 23 hour days when you cross in the opposite direction. We find the sea days very pleasant and relaxing. You can do as much or as little as you wish, as there are always activities, lectures, movies, classes, etc., if you want to partake.We just did Tahiti to New York on Marina, in March. The weather crossing the Atlantic in November was much better than what we experienced crossing the Pacific in March, and we had longer days.

[Hawaiidan]

32 minutes ago, Banti said:

We are mid-70’s, and did our first T/A two years ago. We loved it so much we did another last year, and have two more booked for this year and next. But the difference is we do them in November, from Europe to Miami (to Rio this November). We have found the weather during the crossings to be warm and sunny, on the two crossings we have done so far. And the best part is, with the many time changes, you get 25 hour days, instead of the 23 hour days when you cross in the opposite direction. We find the sea days very pleasant and relaxing. You can do as much or as little as you wish, as there are always activities, lectures, movies, classes, etc., if you want to partake.We just did Tahiti to New York on Marina, in March. The weather crossing the Atlantic in November was much better than what we experienced crossing the Pacific in March, and we had longer days.

SSSHHHHH......dont tell people that !!!    they will be snagging all the cabins from us.....  Loose lips pack ships !!!  The one way from europe are so good they are almost a sin to take...   

[Petoonya]

2 hours ago, warburg said:

Hello, again, Petoonya. I was thinking about your situation and it occurred to me that one change might improve you DH's attitude. You say you go really cheapo, inside et al. How about moving up a notch to at least a window? Daylight and the sight of the moving ocean can be refreshing and soothing. Our next TA is 16 days with at least part of everyday moving over water. The idea of an inside for that length of time is out. Even cavemen wanted light and the lucky ones were near the opening. Just  a thought.

Mary

 

Thanks you Mary- we always do some kind of an upsell to get a balcony at least in the last week or so. Haven't had to spend time in an inside now for many years. Yes, don't think even I could do an inside for so long!

 

49 minutes ago, Banti said:

We are mid-70’s, and did our first T/A two years ago. We loved it so much we did another last year, and have two more booked for this year and next. But the difference is we do them in November, from Europe to Miami (to Rio this November). We have found the weather during the crossings to be warm and sunny, on the two crossings we have done so far. And the best part is, with the many time changes, you get 25 hour days, instead of the 23 hour days when you cross in the opposite direction. We find the sea days very pleasant and relaxing. You can do as much or as little as you wish, as there are always activities, lectures, movies, classes, etc., if you want to partake.We just did Tahiti to New York on Marina, in March. The weather crossing the Atlantic in November was much better than what we experienced crossing the Pacific in March, and we had longer days.

 

Thanks for your encouragement Banti! I really think this is going to work out. He grew up in NJ and has this bad feeling about weather in the Atlantic. But the first one we did on Regatta 10 years ago also had beautiful weather. We had an opportunity to do a TA on one of Windstar's sailing ships this year. I REALLY wanted to do it. But there is so little to do onboard husband said he could not take it. I sort of agree. We love it for Tahiti and it's a gorgeous ship but 14 days would be tough with no ports. I think he'll get more excited about this Marina one as the time approaches.