Oasis of the Seas, 12/9/2018 - A final Cuizer2 review

[John&LaLa]

Well, I've finally decided to post the review Cuizer2 did for his December Oasis trip.  

Zef passed away at the end of March before he got the chance to finish it. 

Sorry, there are no photos, I know he usually posted tons of them, but he only sent me the rough draft.

 

I've struggled with posting this, but it's typical Zef, so it's funny in the Cuizer2 tradition.

I think he would approve.

 

It's kind of long, so I'm breaking it up into 1 post per day.

 

Enjoy,

john

[John&LaLa]

OASIS OF THE SEAS - DECEMBER 9 - 16, 2018

 

Saturday, December 8 - Travel day

 

Good morning from the United Club in LAX.  I left home at 6am, drove to the bus terminal, boarded the 6:30am bus to LAX, checked one bag at about 7:15am, and was inside the United Club by 7:30am.  I paid extra to be in the United Club.  The plane is due to depart at about 10:40am.  I should arrive at MCO around 6:25pm.  A fellow cruiser whom I have only met online has offered to pick me up.  A very nice gesture, given that I probably outweigh him (ha ha).  He lives in the home of the chocolate fish (Cocoa Beach) and has a great view of all the rockets taking off from the Kennedy Space Center.

 

So at any rate, a little about me.  This will be my 34^th cruise, my 14^th with Royal Caribbean, and my first on the Oasis of the Seas (I was on the Allure of the Seas about five years ago).  I have become a little disenchanted with Royal Caribbean.  Recently Royal Caribbean has done some things that just don’t sit well with me.  These are corporate issues and not cruise issues, so yes, I have enjoyed the cruises.  Believe it or not, I have booked a grand suite just so I can try out the Coastal Kitchen (which is available to suite guests).  I believe that guests in the junior suites can also eat at the Coastal Kitchen.  However, full suite guests can make reservation through the concierge the week before sailing.  Then if there is room the junior suite guests can make reservation on board (apparently reservations are necessary).  The Coastal Kitchen does not take reservations at 7:00pm because they turn over the tables at 7:00pm.  I’m not sure why they do that.  Once the table top touches the dirty floor, the staff will have to wipe down the table before anyone can eat on it. 

 

Now there are different levels of suites.  The grand suite I am in is “Sky Class.”  I’m not sure why they call it sky class, since it is only about one hundred feet above sea level.  Nonetheless, there are some benefits that come with being in a “full” suite (I don’t know how “full” it will be, given that I am traveling solo).  The benefits are listed below, courtesy of the concierges...

 

Dear Sky Class Guest,

 

Our names are Federico & Claudine and we are your Concierge onboard the amazing Oasis of the Seas.  We are honored that you have chosen Royal Caribbean for your cruise vacation. I will be available to assist you throughout your cruise. My hours in the Suite Lounge are daily from 8:00am to 1:00pm on a sea day 8:00am to 12:00pm on a port day and 5:00pm to 8:30pm every evening.

 

As a suite guest you are offered exclusive amenities and services not available to other guests onboard the Oasis of the Seas. For your convenience, here is a brief summary of the services:

 

·        Use of the Suite Lounge located on deck 17 aft.

·        Continental Breakfast in the Suite Lounge, deck 17 daily from 7:30am to 10:30am.

.              Ala Carte Breakfast in Coastal Kitchen, deck 17 from 8:00am to 10:00am the days at

   sea (port days 7:30pm to 10:00am).

 

·        Ala Carte Lunch in Coastal Kitchen, deck 17 daily from Noon to 1:30 pm

.              Complimentary selected Wind by the glass Selected Beers Bottle water and soft

               drinks in the suite lounge (from 11:30 am to 11:00 pm)

·        Complimentary beverages served in the Suite Lounge daily from 4:30 pm to 8:00 pm.

.              Ala carte dinner at Coastal Kitchen, deck 17 starboard side, from 5:30 pm to 9:00 pm

   (reservations are required.  Please let me know your time preference so I can assist

   with reservations)

·        Spa bathrobes for use onboard and upgraded bathroom toiletries.

·        Exclusive Reception for suite guests with the Captain and Senior Officers (please find

               invitation left in the suite).

·        Specialty Restaurant menus displayed in the lounge.

·        Complimentary pressing service on the first formal night.

·        Show Reservations are not required for suite guests except the Adult Standup Comedy

  Show (please come see us on the first day of the cruise to book your comedy show as

  space is very limited). Please show your Sky Class SeaPass card (room key) at the

  entrance 20 minutes prior to show time as booked seats will be given away 10 minutes

  prior to show time.

·       Private sun deck with loungers and cabanas on deck 17 forward. (Cabanas are limited

              and are available on a first‑come‑first served basis). Deck 17 sun deck is a smoke‑free

              area.

·       Limited VIP seats for the shows (except the adult comedy).  Please show your Sky

class card (room key) at the entrance 20 minutes prior to show time as booked seats

will be given away 10 minutes prior to show time.

·       Complimentary Voom Internet Service – Access Code to be provided by the

             Communication Specialist onboard.

 

The Oasis Class ship (Oasis, Allure, Harmony and Symphony) are the only four ships that require reservations for most of the shows, these reservations are electronic, for guests in staterooms. Sky Class SeaPass cards holders (suite guests) are able to attend the shows without processing reservations by only showing their Sky Class SeaPass card at the entrance and can also access the reserved VIP area at the entertainment venues (due to the limited space, the only exception is the Comedy Live for the Adult Standup Comedy Show where reservations are still required and there is no reserved seating area). Once onboard please visit me in the Suite Lounge on Day 1 and I will be glad to process Standup Comedy reservations for you if needed.

 

Great News! make your own reservations for our entertainment venues, specialty dining, Vitality at Sea Spa and sports, as well as Shore Excursions! on‑line please visit our website.  In order to complete your on‑line reservations you will need to have your booking ID and sailing date.  Click here to book your reservations ‑‑‑> http://www.royalcaribbean.com/home.do

 

We will be able to assist you onboard with Spa and Shore Excursions on Boarding Day in the Suite Lounge on Deck 17 from 11:15 am until 3:00 pm and 5:00 pm till 8:00 pm

 

The Suite Lounge is a private area exclusive for guests staying in the Star & Sky Class Suites only and is accessible 24‑hours with your SeaPass card.

 

Dress code:

 

We respectfully request that guests observe a casual dress code (no swim or pool attire is allowed, footwear is required at all times) when visiting the lounge.

 

Age requirement:

To ensure all our guests are able to enjoy these exclusive venues we require that all guests 20 years and younger must be well behaved and accompanied by a parent or guardian at all times.

 

The lounge is designated smoke‑free area. Food and beverages are for consumption within the lounge only.

 

It will be our pleasure to assist you in any way to make your cruise experience the more enjoyable and wish you an unforgettable time onboard the Oasis of the Seas.

 

Please do not hesitate to contact for anything you need!

 

We want to ensure you will have a memorable cruise vacation.

 

Kind regards,

 

Federico Taylor & Claudine Fernandes

 

Office :29192   /  Email: OA_Concierge01@rccl.com

 

And here are the benefits I receive based on my Crown and Anchor level...

 

As a Diamond Plus member, you'll receive exclusive benefits and privileges on your upcoming voyage, including:

 

· Priority Check In & Complimentary Water: Enjoy priority boarding & two bottles of complimentary water in your stateroom upon arrival.

 

· Onboard Offers: Be sure to reference the Welcome Letter in your stateroom on embarkation day to view the great onboard offers for shopping; Vitality Day Spa, Internet Café, and other activities.

 

· Lounge Access: Enjoy exclusive access to the Diamond Club where you can relax and mingle with other Crown & Anchor Society members.

 

· Nightly Happy Hour: Enjoy three complimentary drink vouchers during the nightly happy hour (times vary by ship).

 

· NextCruise Bonus: Up to $600 onboard credit or dollars off. Plus, only $100 per person deposits on select fares when you book your next cruise onboard. Visit the NextCruise Office for details.

 

 

· Balcony & Suite Discounts: Book your next cruise onboard in a Balcony or Suite stateroom and enjoy savings; combine this offer with the Next Cruise Bonus and save more!

 

Thank you for your continued loyalty and have a wonderful voyage!

 

So what else?  Well long ago, when I first started writing my cruise reviews, I noticed that people like lots of details.  So I write my review while on the ship.  Then it became apparent that people like lots of pictures.  So I take many pictures.  But posting the pictures is boring and time consuming.  Then Photobucket decided to increase its price for third party hosting of the pictures from $36 per year to $400 per year.  So I switched to SmugMug.  The cost is a much more reasonable $48 per year and there is no limit on the amount of storage or bandwidth I use.  In addition I can create albums and link to the albums in my review.  This benefits you as you can view bigger photographs in the SmugMug albums than the cruise forum allows and benefits me because it is a lot easier to post one link to an album with fifty photographs than it is to post a link to fifty pictures in the review.  The result, I spend less time posting the photographs and thus I am willing to post more of my photographs.  I do however post a limited number of photographs in the review. 

 

To take the photographs, I have three cameras with me.  A DSLR which I use mostly on the ship (it is heavy and I don’t like carrying it around off the ship), a travel camera which is a point and shoot camera that fits in my breast pocket for off ship photography, and a waterproof camera which is use for ....... wait for it ....... under water photographs (I bet you didn’t see that coming). 

 

When I was on the Allure I was on an Eastern Caribbean route.  This cruise will be a Western Caribbean route.  Labadee is Royal Caribbean’s private beach.  I haven’t been to Labadee since 2007, which is before the pier was built.  I was scheduled to visit Labadee in 2012, but the ship was having propulsion issues, so we didn’t stop at Labadee.  This time I’m going to check out the water park and the roller coaster.  I’ve been to Falmouth once before on the Navigator of the Seas.  I’m going to check out Montego Bay for the first time.  In Cozumel I am going to Chankanaab Park.  However, I am not going to do it through the ship. 

 

Well, it is about 9:25am and I really don’t have anything else to add to my review.  So I am going to shut down and I’ll be back at you when I get to my hotel in Cocoa Beach. 

 

The flight was long (over four hours) and boring (too many clouds between me and the ground).  However, when describing flying six miles above the ground, boring is much preferred over exciting.  That said boarding did not go so smoothly for me.  I left the United Club and found the gate.  Boarding had already begun (which should have been my first clue).  A warning buzzer and a red light went off just as soon as my boarding pass was scanned.  “Sir, you are on the wrong flight.  This flight is going to Houston, you are going to Orlando.”  I looked at the board and sure enough, this flight was scheduled to leave twenty minutes before my flight. 

 

 

I go over to the gate agent and ask if the flight to Orlando is leaving from this gate (because I don’t believe United can turn around a plane in twenty minutes).  The gate agent looks surprised and says no.  She thinks there might have been a gate change.  I buy into this for two reasons.  One, I was recently on a flight where there was a change of gates that I did not know about.  Two, my boarding pass said that gate had not yet been assigned.  So I ask which gate my flight is leaving from.  Turns out to be gate 72B, which is gate I was told.  Turns out I am at gate 70B.  I saw the seven and the “B” and got in line.  Oops!  Sometimes I wonder how some of the idiots I end up standing behind in line manage to earn enough money to fly.  I guess I just figured it out. 

 

I walked over to my gate, they had not even started boarding yet. 

 

When I arrived my luggage was one of the first bags out (it was marked priority, as I was in first class).  However, experience has shown that being marked priority is no guarantee of an early arrival.  My friend was waiting for me at the luggage carousel.  I emailed him a photo of the shirt I would be wearing, so he had no trouble recognizing me.  We spoke on the phone once I landed.  He was the one that provided me with the carousel number where my luggage could be claimed (I asked on the plane and they didn’t know). 

 

First we went to dinner.  He asked me where I wanted to go and I said the Tokyo Steakhouse.  They cook the meal right in front of you.  I paid for both meals, as he was saving me from a $100 car rental bill.  He even picked up me up from the hotel the following morning and took me to the ship.  I am not sure how long he has lived in the area, but he was very knowledgeable about the area and the Oasis of the Seas, since he cruises and lot and the Oasis of the Seas is his home ported ship.  All in all, it was great meeting him. 

 

The hotel, Four Points by Sheraton Cocoa Beach is connected to a surf shop (the Cocoa Beach Surf Company).  In fact, when I looked out the window of my fifth floor room, I was looking into the store.  That was kind of a surprise for me (another surprise for me was that one of my checked bag’s locks was missing – thank you TSA).  The floor plan of the room was great.  You enter into the entry hall with the bathroom to the right and the closet (which included a safe) to the left.  Straight ahead was the bedroom and behind a half wall was a sitting room.  However, the room had a few flaws.  The two most noticeable issues are that there is no overhead lighting other than in the entry hall.  This bedroom and sitting room were lighted solely by desk and floor lights, which left the room (with no outside windows) looking a little dark.  The second most notable issue is that there is no television in the sitting room, and you can’t easily see the television from the sitting room.

[John&LaLa]

Sunday, December 9 - Embarkation day

 

My friend agreed to pick me up and 10:00am and take me to the ship.  He was right on time.  He even included a brief tour of Cocoa Beach on the way to the ship.  I was checked in and seated with the suite and Pinnacle guests in no time.  We get to embark right after the back to back guests (which was a very large group in this case).  I also ran into a couple who I first met when they lived in California (they have retired to Florida and are Pinnacle).  So we talk for a while and around 11:00am people started wondering what is taking so long.  Apparently they are used to boarding at 10:30am.  I am used to boarding at 11:00am.  Soon an announcement was made that the ship and not been cleared yet.  To Royal Caribbean’s credit, several announcements were made that while they had no estimated time for embarkation, at least it was not as though we had been forgotten.  Finally, at about noon, we were able to embark.

 

 

I went to my cabin, found my room steward, and explained that I was dropping of my carry-ons and then went to photograph the ship.  All my meals will be in the Coastal Kitchen this trip.  So I was wondering where that was.  I decided to photograph the ship from the top down.  I went up to deck seventeen and the Suite Lounge was the first thing I saw.  The doors were locked.  You have to use your room key to get in, and the card reader is off to the side.  The suite lounge is big.  Half of it is a lounge, half of it is the Coastal Kitchen, and the two halves are separated by a bar area.  There is a large set of windows looking out over the pool area.  The rest of deck seventeen is the entrance to the loft suites.

 

Next I went down to deck sixteen and started taking photographs of the ship.  However, then it started to rain and I decided to go to my cabin, as it was now 1:00pm and the cabins were now ready for the passengers.  My checked luggage had arrived.  I decided to photograph the cabin before I moved in.  Unfortunately, that did not work out so well.  I stepped outside to look at the entrance and forgot that my room key was inside the cabin (sometimes I wonder how some of the idiots I cruise with can afford to cruise - now I know).  The cabin attendants were nowhere to be found.  So I had to go down to guest services and wait in the long line, which is expected on embarkation day, for a duplicate card key.  Once inside I made sure to keep one of the keys in my pocket.

 

After photographing the cabin, I unpacked and decide to rest until the safety drill at 4:00pm.  Unfortunately the safety drill was in the Royal Promenade where I knew that there were no chairs and that I would have to stand.  I can walk all day, but standing for long periods of time hurts my back.  So I found a spot where I could sit in the floor and lean against a display.  Unfortunately my aim was a little off.  I leaned back and missed the display and almost took out someone’s legs.  Fortunately there were no injuries and I already know how to put on a life jacket, since from my position on the floor, I couldn’t see the video screens. 

 

After the safety drill I went back to my cabin and just relaxed and checked out the television.  There are two ESPN channels and both are showing different football games, so I decide to watch until I notice the view outside my window is changing.  I take a few photographs from my port side balcony and then go on deck to take some photographs of my friend’s home (hopefully - I don’t know what it looks like from the Atlantic Ocean).  Then it is back to the cabin for more football until dinner time.

 

I decide to have rigatoni as an appetizer and the filet mignon as the main course.  The rigatoni was over cooked, but still edible.  The filet mignon was excellent.  After dinner I went back to my cabin, watched the late football game, and went to sleep.

[John&LaLa]

Monday, December 10 - Day at sea

 

This morning is full of activities for me.  First I go up to the Coastal Kitchen for breakfast.  It takes a lot longer than I thought it should.  I mention this to some other cruisers and I am told the reason is that there is a small kitchen.  Nonetheless, the ham and cheese omelet is good.  Next is the Meet & Greet.  There were door prizes (I was hoping for a door with a finger print scanner, in case I left my door key in the room again).  I had ticket number 62.  Ticket numbers 60, 61, and 63 were called, but by the end, all I won was a small orange ticket ending in number 62.  Then I went to the Top Tier party at the Aqua Theater.  While the show was good (though it was a shortened version of the full show), the term “Top Tier” is a bit of a joke in my opinion, since it includes everything except gold.  Personally I think it should be Diamond and above.  I was surprised to have been first invited to a “top tier” when I was on my first cruise as a platinum loyalty member. 

 

 

After that three was a special invitation to meet the officers in Dazzles.  I asked the captain if the ship would fit in the new Panama Canal locks.  He said he didn’t think so.  I was told the Oasis of the Seas is too wide, even for the new locks.  

 

At any rate, all of the above was before lunch.  I had lunch in the Coastal Kitchen.  After that, it was time to take a short rest before going outside to take some day at sea photographs.  I don’t like the heat.  I keep the room as cold as possible.  This detail is important for two reasons.  One, after taking the sea day photographs I was ready for a nap.  Two, even before taking the photographs I had a problem related to the cold cabin verse the hot and humid (I don’t like humidity more than I don’t like heat) outdoors.  The humidity condensed on the glass surfaces of the camera lens and any photographs I would have taken would look like they were shot on a very foggy day.  So I went back to the cabin and used the hair dryer to warm up the camera and lens.  A couple of minutes on the lowest heat setting does the trick (it would take fifteen to twenty minutes if I just waited outside). 

 

After my nap I uploaded my photographs and worked on this.  Eventually it was time for dinner.  I originally ordered the beef tartar for an appetizer.  I’ve never tried this before, and will not try it again.  It and I did not get along too well.  I was able to substitute the chicken leg.  The chicken leg and the prime rib dinner were both good. 

 

After dinner I got some night time photographs of the Boardwalk neighborhood.  Then it was time for Monday Night Football and then to sleep.

[John&LaLa]

Tuesday, December 11 - Labadee

 

Yesterday I receive a free massage from my travel agent.  Unfortunately it was limited to port days.  The only acceptable open slot was 7:30am on Friday, when we visit Cozumel.  Unrelated, at the time, was that I was having trouble getting to my onboard account on the television, which I will explain later.  In the process I found out I pre-paid my daily gratuities.  I did???  “Yes sir.”  I usually don’t do that unless I am being forced to do so.  I don’t remember doing so, but if that is the case, then I have a $100 onboard credit that I have to use or lose.  I was originally intending to use the $100 credit to offset the daily gratuities.  I know, everyone wishes they had this problem, but had I known, I would have used the credit to offset my shore excursion expenses. 

 

So at any rate we arrive at Labadee.  I have not been here since 2007, which is before the dock was built.  My understanding of where the dock was located was wrong.  I thought it was inside the bay on the south side of Labadee.  The pier is actually at the entrance to the bay.  Since the ship backed in, and I have a port side cabin, I was looking out at the Caribbean.  We should have docked by 8:00am (okay, we did, but I didn’t realize it), so at around 8:30am I wondered why we were not moving and when we would dock.  I went up to the Suite Lounge to ask the concierge why we had not docked yet.  In mid question I looked out the window and realized we were docked.

 

 

At any rate, after breakfast in the Coastal Kitchen I took a few photographs of Labadee from the ship and then headed down.  Because of the eleven year gap since my last visit I had a hard time orienting myself.  In addition, the last time I was here, you could see from one side to the other.  Now you can see from one commercial enterprise to the other commercial enterprise.  It is nice that Royal Caribbean is allowing the locals to sell things that they make.  However, the look and feel of Royal Caribbean’s private beach has changed from an undeveloped beach to a commercialized tourist trap.  At least the store staff don’t try to drag people into their shop.

 

As a suite guest I am allowed to go to Barefoot Beach, which is exclusive to suite guests and Pinnacles.  Motorized transportation is offered to Barefoot Beach from the entrance to Labadee to Barefoot Beach, and to and from Barefoot Beach and the other attractions, such as the coaster and the Aqua Park.  For those that are interested, there are also cabanas to rent.  From what I have read, Barefoot Beach is supposed to be the best of the beaches at Labadee.  I was under impressed.  Why?  First of all Barefoot Beach suffers from what many “exclusive” areas suffer from - it is too small for the number of guests who are allowed access.  Sure there are more people at the other beaches, but the other beached are also significantly bigger.  Second, the cabanas lack privacy.  Given what Royal Caribbean is charging, a short front wall would add a sense of privacy.  Third, there is only one “exclusive” serving line for lunch.  Again, there are many people enjoying the rest of Labadee, with many more serving lines. 

 

There was something that was kind of funny.  I arrived on the same oversized golf cart as a family that rented one of the cabanas.  At arrival I was asked if I had been to Barefoot Beach before.  No.  So I was told to “follow me.”  Soon I am being lead up the path to one of the cabanas.  I stop, because I have a feeling that something is not right.  The family, which was behind me, asked if I had rented a cabana.  No.  “Well we have.”  I realized at that point that the guide assumed I was with the others.  I went back down the path and took some pictures, both from land and from the water, of the area.  Can you walk barefoot at Barefoot Beach?  Yes.  However, as I would soon discover, the same can be said of the north facing beaches which are open to all the non-suit folks. 

 

Back in 2007 the north facing beached were rocky and open to the Caribbean.  Now they are just as sandy and just as free of rocks as Barefoot Beach.  In addition a sea wall has been built, so the beaches are no longer as open to the waves coming in from the Caribbean. 

 

I bought a combo ticket that allowed me one ride on the Dragon’s Tail coaster and one visit to the Aqua Park.  The coaster’s speed it controlled by the driver.  I tried to take a video, but I had to keep one hand on the brake (which is active unless you push it forward) allowing me only one hand to hold and operate the camera.  As a result I ended up pointing the camera down too low.  So I will post the video, but it is not as good as my dog sled videos from Alaska earlier this year (when I was able to use two hands on the camera). 

 

As to the Aqua Park, it would have been much better forty years ago.  I am referring to me being forty years younger and an in better shape.  The floating toys seemed to be in good shape.  The only down side is having to wear a life vest, which gets in the way and wants to make you float on your back, rather than on your stomach.  This is great if you are hurt and unable to swim.  It is not so great if you are trying to swim face down.  The floating toys have handles, but no ladders.  So you have to be strong enough to pull yourself up.  I did make it to the top of one of the floating slides and I did slide down the slide.  The kids were doing much better than I and seemed to be having lots of fun.

 

 

The combo ticket comes as two identical tickets.  One is for the Aqua Park and one is for the coaster.  Both have the same time printed on the ticket.  However, that only applies to the Aqua Park.  You can ride the coaster anytime you want. 

 

On the way back to Barefoot Beach for lunch I checked out the beaches on the north side.  These are the beaches that are available to the non-suite passengers (and inconspicuous suit passengers).  As I noted earlier, the beaches are bigger and just as sandy as Barefoot Beach. 

 

Lunch at Barefoot Beach was pretty typical for these types of lunches.  The food is cooked and then put in a pan for people to take what they want buffet style.  However, the pans are not heated nor under a heat lamp, so the food soon goes from hot to warm.  My hamburger would not melt the cheese. 

 

So I rode the coaster, checked out the beaches on the north side, had lunch, and went to the Aqua Park.  After the Aqua Park I called for one of the oversized golf carts and decided to head back to the ship. 

 

After a shower, I relaxed for a while, went to dinner at the Coastal Kitchen, uploaded the photographs and coaster videos, worked on this, and went to sleep.  At dinner my travel camera stopped working.  Unfortunately nobody is making small point and shoot cameras with an optical view finder any more.  The screen is almost useless in bright sun.  Fortunately I have a spare at home with an optical view finder.  When I get home I’ll see if the camera I was using can be repaired.

 

So all in all, I think Royal Caribbean has done a good job and improved Labadee.  It is an excellent beach day, depending on how you feel about heat and humidity. 

[John&LaLa]

Wednesday, December 12 - Falmouth

 

We arrive in Falmouth at 10:00am and my tour is scheduled for 10:15am.  The Disney Fantasy was already docked and waiting for us.  Two ships is the limit at Falmouth.  It was hot just before the ship started backing in toward the dock.  By the time I walked out for my tour, it was raining. 

 

On a previous cruise I learned that the time listed on the shore excursion ticket is not the departure time, but the gathering time.  Having arrived earlier than the time listed, only to wait and wait and wait, usually standing (I can walk all day, but standing hurts my back), I did not mind arriving a little late to this tour.  I, and everyone else on the tour had to stand under a very crowded tent as it was rating.  I asked if we could wait in the buses, but I was nicely told no, and I didn’t want to start an argument under a tent full of uncomfortable people.

 

And why was I late you ask?  Because I had two room keys and they both worked (remember on day one I locked my room key in the room and was given a replacement key card).  So I kept one in my pocket and one in my wallet.  Today I had my wallet with me.  When I tried to disembark, I was told I was using the “lost” key card.  So I had to go back up to the room and switch room keys (yes, both open the entry door to the room) and then I was able to disembark. 

 

 

The tour I am on is called the Essence of Montego Bay.  The first stop is the Rose Hall House.  When we got out of the bus I asked the tour guide what we were doing.  This was a rest stop and if we wanted, we could tour the Rose Hall House - for an extra $25 per adult (only $10 for the kids).  Fortunately no one from our bus opted to take the tour, so we headed to our next stop, which was across the street.  Not down the road a short way and on the other of the highway.  It was directly across the street.  We exited the Rose Hall House driveway, and went straight (no turns) into the driveway of the Shoppes at Rose Hall (I have no idea how they came up with that name).  And like any other good sized shopping center, they had both food and restrooms.  So what was the reason for the rest stop two minutes ago?  This is the first shore excursion that I have been on that offered a tour that was not included in the price of the shore excursion.

 

While in the shopping center I saw a purple Hawaiian style shirt that had my name on it (actually it has Jamaica written on it, but it did call to me), so I bought it and put it on.  Then I had jerk chicken for lunch.  This jerk chicken was a little on the spicy side.  The first time I had jerk chicken was in Ocho Rios in 2004, right after an inner tube ride.  That chicken was fantastic.  The next time in Ocho Rios I talked my sister and brother-in-law into trying the jerk chicken.  They liked it.  So did I.  However, it didn’t taste as good as the jerk chicken I had in 2004.  In 2011 I was in Ocho Rios again, and again went looking for jerk chicken.  Again, it was good, but not as good as in 2004.  I have tried to repeat that 2004 experience every time I am in Jamaica and while the jerk chicken was good, it was not as good as in 2004.  Perhaps I’ll have to go on another inner tube ride. 

 

Then I found a shady bench near the meeting place and sat down.  Since I was wearing my new purple shirt, the tour guide did not recognize me.  So I caught up with her and said I bought a disguise.  She laughed.

 

After shopping we went to Montego Bay.  It is certainly a nice bay with a least one nice sandy beach.  However, from what I saw, I am not sure why it is such a big deal.  I think Turtle Beach in Ocho Rios with its soft powder sugar like sand is better. 

 

I did bring my bathing suit and waterproof camera.  However, the weather was kind of dark and gloomy, which did not seem like swimming weather to me.  So I walked around in my street clothes.  My tour guide found me and we talked a bit.  I told her the rain made the water wet so I didn’t want to go in.  Quit groaning, she thought it was funny.  After a couple of hours at Montego Bay we returned to port. 

 

Back in the cabin I received a call from Chops.  My travel agent bought me a dinner at Chops.  They had an 8:00pm opening so I took it.  Later I contacted Coastal Kitchen and informed them that I would not be there tonight.  To fill in the time until dinner I rested a bit and worked on this.

 

I was treated very well at Chops.  I had the large filet mignon (9 ounces), which was very good.  Apparently I hit it off very well with my waiter, because when I thought the meal was over, he offered me anything on the menu.  Even another filet mignon?  Yes.  So I had the small filet mignon (6 ounces).  It was also very good.  Along with the sides, I was stuffed.  So it went back to the cabin and off to sleep.

[John&LaLa]

Thursday, December 13 - Day at Sea

 

I decided to go to the Spa to make a change to my spa treatment.  As I mentioned earlier, my travel agent arranged a port day spa treatment for me.  When I signed up for it, the only time available was early morning on Friday (Cozumel).  So I agreed to a 7:30am appointment.  Then the upsell began.  The massage is a soft massage.  Would I like to add hot rocks for $30?  No.  Well, this morning I reconsidered that decision and decided to add the hot rocks.  One thing led to another and I was able to move the massage to today at 4:30pm.  I don’t understand why the massage was limited to port days, the cost of the massage is $129 either way (more or less, as noted below). 

 

Once again I could not get to the onboard account on the TV.  I was constantly told to push the green menu button.  I kept explaining that if I was watching one of the television channels, pushing the green menu button took me to the default screen.  Then if I pushed the green menu button again, all I got was a red zero with a red line through it.  Finally they sent someone to my room who pushed the blue menu button (I have no idea what the red, purple, orange, or yellow menu buttons do - but I did learn that if you push the “X” button at the bottom right of the television remote and held it for a long time, about twenty seconds, it would reset the television.

 

But later it stopped working again.  At this point I decided there was something missing, and I figured it out.  Each time I tested it to make sure it worked, it came back to the onboard account menu option.  Now it was coming back to the message option (there must be at least ten messages per day, half of which are coming from the spa) which is the default option.  So I search for the onboard account option, then go to one of the television channels, then push the blue menu button and sure enough it comes to the onboard account option.  It comes to whatever option was selected when leaving the default screen.  Until I figured this out, I was getting VERY frustrated. 

 

Today is a relaxing day at sea.  However, I ended up doing more relaxing and less working on this review then I intended.  I did spend some time taking more pictures of the ship, so I think I got all parts of the ship that I wanted to get. 

 

 

Of course there was the massage.  This was my first massage, so I really didn’t know what to expect (except to make sure I was wearing clean underwear).  First we went downstairs into the dungeon?  No, it is the relaxation room.  There I am asked to fill out a short medical questionnaire.  Then off to the massage room.  Get undressed and hide under the towel before the young lady reappears.  The massage felt good, but I would not pay $159 for it.  Soon I would find out that the massage was a lot more than $159.  After the message I get upsell number two.  This upsell included three different gels that would make me feel better after I recovered from the sticker shock.  The gels are $50 to $60 plus per gel plus an eighteen percent gratuity.  Oh, and the massage and the hot rocks also have an eighteen percent gratuity.  This was the first time this was mentioned.  So even the “free massage” is not free, since I have to pay the eighteen percent gratuity.  So, apparently eighteen percent of $159 is $59.80 or double the $30 I was expecting to pay.  I find it interesting that this automatic charge (which is really a service charge since gratuity is voluntary) was not mention until after the massage. 

 

Otherwise, not much exciting today.  I ate my meals in the Coastal Kitchen and watched Thursday Night Football - go Chargers!  Maybe the Rams and the Chargers will play each other in the Super Bowl.

[John&LaLa]

Friday, December 14 - Cozumel

 

My plan was to go to Chankanaab Park and swim with the Manatees.  But all the Stress factors got to me this morning:

 

 - Two days after I made final payment I got laid off. 

 - Saving my $100 onboard credit for gratuities that had been pre-paid.

 - The issue with finding the onboard account option on the television.

 - Concern about going over the weight limit with my luggage since I only have one piece of checked luggage and in an attempt to use up my onboard credit I bought two Royal Crown bottles (one was $31 and the second one was only $9 more).  My luggage weighed 44 pounds when I left home and I believe the two bottles weigh over six pounds combined.  However, a quick check via the Internet (thank you free Voom) solved this issue.  First class on United is allowed seventy pounds per bag.

 - The “free” massage cost more than the $30 dollar upcharge - the eighteen percent “gratuities” doubled it to $59.80. 

 - $12 each way to Chankanaab for the taxi, $21 for the entry fee, $59 for the swim equals $104 before photographs (which cost more than the swim) plus any snacks combined to eliminate my enthusiasm for my favorite shore excursion.  Fortunately last time I was here, on the Liberty of the Seas in 2016, I did the manatee swim twice, and paid about $140 (about $79 each) for all the photographs for both swims.

 

I did walk into the port area and bought a souvenir shot glass for my friend.  Otherwise I turned the day into a feeling sorry for me day and stayed on the ship. 

[John&LaLa]

Saturday, December 15 - Day at sea

 

The day starts with a 9:50am bridge tour.  We got to see everything, including the emergency war room (used to oversee whatever emergency was happening) located behind the bridge.  I’ve been on a few bridge tours and never knew this other room existed.

 

After that there was a “Big Oasis Thank You and Farewell Celebration” open to everyone on the Broadway neighborhood.  It had a carnival (little “c” - not big “C”) feeling.  Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  Since I was on deck six, I headed over to the Focus Photo Gallery to get my free 8 x 10 photo (a benefit of being Diamond Plus).

 

Next was the Captain’s Corner in the Comedy LIVE on deck 4.  Being fifteen minutes early gave me a choice of an end seat in the second to last row or a center seat in the last row.  I was disappointed it was just the Captain, though he was very knowledgeable and able to answer everyone’s question (including mine).  The Captain also has a great personality. 

 

My first question concerned why two empty elevators passed the floor I was on and the third elevator, which was full, stopped.  It is kind of complicated, but a computer is involved.  The computer’s job is to make sure the elevators travel from top to bottom and back to the top has often as possible.  Apparently short trips, like from deck twelve to deck fourteen, and back down to deck twelve are not good for the elevators.  Later the captain answered my question about when a captain gets to sleep when cruising in an out of New Orleans (during the turnaround time in port).  He said that was a good question.

 

My last question was based on the Royal Caribbean’s plan to move the Oasis of the Seas to New Jersey sometime in the next two years.  It was actually a two part question, one for the captain and one for the cruise director.  People had been asking about the clearance with the bridge.  The captain explained the squat effect (running at a high speed causes the ship to get sucked down when in shallow water) and that the smoke stacks can be retracted.  So I asked the captain about putting more water in the ballast tanks.  Of course there is a limit to how much this can be applied (the captain does not want to ground the ship).

 

My question to the cruise director was, if there were any plans to increase the realism of Central Park, since the ship would be so close to New York (when docked in New Jersey), by adding muggers to Central Park.  The whole room broke into laughter.  The captain thought it was a good idea.  All I can say is, apparently these people were not reading the Royal Caribbean cruise forum ten years ago when the Oasis of the Seas was being built (which is where I first read this joke).

 

Other than that, I had breakfast in the Coastal Kitchen, lunch in the Windjammer, and my last supper in the Coastal Kitchen.  I also decided to give out the extra tips in the morning after breakfast to the Coastal Kitchen staff, both concierges (since they made the dinner reservations for me), and the room attendant.  For the room attendant and the Suite Lounge concierges that was easy.  But in the Coastal Kitchen I had different servers all the time.  So I asked the head man if I could give him some money and would he give it to the servers as he saw fit.  He said yes, so I have him an envelope with 25 singles (dollars – not people) in it. 

 

The rest of my time was spent working on this, watching Saturday Night Football, and packing.

[John&LaLa]

Sunday, December 16 - Debarkation day

 

I had my last meal in the Coastal Kitchen, said goodbye to the staff, and headed to the meeting place for my excursion which would end at the airport.  I had luggage tag number one.  I disembarked the ship and went to look for my luggage.  After a thorough search I could not find my luggage.  This concerned me as I knew the tour would wait for me and I didn’t want to make everyone late. 

 

So I asked one of the workers to help me.  There was another bag there that looked like mine, so I pointed at it as a sample of what my bag looked like.  We walked the down one isle and up that other.  Upon reaching the end of the second isle I turned around and noticed my bag at the other end of the line we just walked down.  I said that is my bag, and it was not there when we walked past that point.  The worker who was helping me said that sometimes the luggage is put in the wrong place.  Under my breath I said, “Or someone took the wrong bag.”  At any rate, I then proceeded through customs.  The line was long, but it moved fast.  For those that don’t like to wait in line, you can hire a porter, they have their own shorter line that they go through.  However, the porters expect to be tipped.  However, don’t tip them more than 45 degrees or they might fall down. 

 

My tour was an airboat ride (I’ve been to the Kennedy Space Center three times already and wanted something different).  We got to see alligators, birds, and cows (yes cows).  Apparently this is an alligator habitat and grazing land.  I assume with the alligators around cattle rustling is kept to a minimum.  I asked if the alligators attacked the cows.  I was told that alligators are solitary hunters while crocodiles are pack hunters.  An alligator might be able to take on a small calf, but not a full grown cow.  So apparently the cows are safe from alligators and cattle rustlers. 

 

The water level was down about six feet from earlier.  We could see the water line on the bridge supports.  I cannot imagine what the area would have looked like when the water was six feet higher.  There would have been very few places with dry land.  Kevin Costner would have been in his element. 

 

After the tour we had soft drinks and alligator fritters.  The alligator meat really does taste just like chicken.

 

After the tour we were dropped off at the airport.  Unfortunately it was more than four hours prior to my flight.  Fortunately one of the ticket agents took pity on me and overrode the computer and let me check in.  My luggage weighed 44 pounds when I left home.  It now weighed 56 pounds (the bottles of Royal Crown probably weighed about five pounds each and I had a few souvenirs).  The Royal Crown bottles are in a box.  When I got home I discovered that TSA opened one of the boxes (the seal was cut). 

 

If I had been flying coach my luggage would have been overweight.  However, since I was flying first class, I was well under the seventy pound allowance for first class passengers.  So I did not have to pay an overweight fee.  However, my checked bag still got flagged as “heavy”.  So I asked the ticketing agent if I was flying to Fresno would she also mark the bag as FAT.  It took her a few seconds to get the joke. 

 

The flight from Orlando to Houston was in a 737.  Nothing special about the plane or the flight.  I was tired, so all I did was upload my tour photographs from the camera to the computer and tried to get some rest. 

 

The flight from Houston to LAX was in a triple seven.  Nothing unusual about coach, but in first class, the window pair of seats in the even rows faced forward and the odd rows faced backwards.  As to the middle four seats, the odd rows faced forward and the even rows faced backwards.  I was in a window seat on the port side in row four, so I was facing forward. 

 

After landing at LAX I got my checked bag fairly quickly.  United uses terminal seven at LAX.  From past experience I knew that the FlyAway bus fills up around terminal four and then they don’t stop at the remaining terminals.  So as tired as I was, I started walking to terminal four.  Around terminal five I was trying to see if the bus was coming and did not realize I has veered off course.  I almost ran over some poor lady’s foot.  Fortunately, as I said, I ALMOST ran over her foot.  I apologized and continued to head to terminal four. 

 

It was a long walk.  It looks a lot shorter on the maps.  The bad news was that all the seats (which were not all that comfortable when they were there) had been removed.  The good news is the wait for the bus was short (with bad timing, the wait can be up to one hour).  After the passengers at terminal four got on the bus, there were only a few empty seats.  At terminal five there were a lot of people, but the driver only allowed a few on (enough to fill the empty seats).  Then the driver drove past terminals six and seven.  I am cruising out of Orlando again in March.  I am thinking of flying from LAX to Orlando on United (I like the timing of their flights) and back on American (which uses terminal four). 

 

Back at the FlyAway lot I got my car, paid $36 for parking, and drove home.  This is about one third of what it would cost to park at the airport.  A taxi between my house and LAX is over $100 and my experiences were not positive.  A limo actually costs less than a taxi and the experience was much more professional.  I used a limo for the twelve night cruise to Alaska out of San Pedro earlier this year. 

 

At any rate, I arrive home safe, sound, and tired.  I took the luggage out of the car and hauled up upstairs.  Well, that was my plan.  Things did not work out that way.  Before I got to the stairs one of the roller bag wheels got stuck on something on the rug.  The roller bag stopped, but I kept walking with a good grip on the roller bag handle.  I was pulled backwards and landed on my back on the rug.  My pride hurt more than my back, but it took about a week before I could sit comfortably and finish this.

[John&LaLa]

SUMMARY

 

I was laid off two days before I made final payment for this trip and I am having trouble finding a new job (I believe because of my age).  If I can find work for about three more years (I would like to work at least another five or more years), I’ll be much better off.  So, worried about the future, I did not enjoy this cruise as much as I would have.  Still, I did enjoy it.  I must say, overall, the Oasis crew was one of the best I have had the pleasure to cruise with.  Nonetheless, I am not a fan of these supersized ships.  My favorite Royal Caribbean ships are the Navigator and Mariner (which are about 38 percent smaller and carry about 42 percent less passengers than the Oasis of the Seas).  Still the Oasis class ships have a lot to offer, and I do recommend them, especially if you have kids. 

 

As I said at the beginning, I booked this cruise in a suite because of all the positive reviews I have read about Coastal Kitchen (I am just as happy in a balcony cabin at half the cost).  Yes the Coastal Kitchen staff was great.  And even though you will not have the same server for every meal, because you can eat all of your meals there (breakfast, lunch, and dinner).  The staff does get to know you, as Coastal Kitchen is a small venue.  It takes up about one third of the suite lounge and I believe will seat less than one hundred people at one time.  Another third of the suite lounge is the lounge itself and the middle third is the bar and Chef’s Table (I wonder how the chef gets that table home when his/her contract is over).  The food was good, but not significantly better that what is found in the main dining room (in my opinion).  What is much better is the atmosphere.  No loud announcements and no signing or dancing during the meals. 

 

There is a negative said to all of this however.  I spent a lot of time in Coastal Kitchen and at Barefoot Beach.  Thus, I was isolated from most of the ship’s passengers during the time I was in Coastal Kitchen or Barefoot Beach, as these venues are only open to suite guests and Pinnacle loyalty members.  I am sure some people would look at this as a positive, but it felt weird to me.

 

I also want to point out that this review has been written by one person as seen through the eyes of one person.  I am in no way an “average” person.  Those who know me well will be happy to verify that.  I offer this review in the hopes of providing some useful information to someone interested in taking a cruise on the Oasis of the Seas, and in the hope of receiving lots of comments (positive, critical, or otherwise).  So, if you have any questions, feel free to ask.  I’ll do my best to answer any questions.

[John&LaLa]

Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed reading.

I'm going to miss him around here.

[julie3fan]

John, thanks for posting this.  I have been thinking about Zef lately, as I just returned from my Alaskan cruise, which is the same one a year ago that I went on with Zef.  He was a character, and is truly missed.

[Missusdubbya]

Thanks John, Zef wrote wonderful reviews. RIP 

[tcmagnum]

Thanks for posting.  I think he would approve of you posting his review...

[driftersdream]

Thank you for posting this.  I read reviews often.  This is the first review that I have hysterically laughed myself to tears.  Wow.  He surely will be missed.

[John&LaLa]

1 hour ago, driftersdream said:

Thank you for posting this.  I read reviews often.  This is the first review that I have hysterically laughed myself to tears.  Wow.  He surely will be missed.

 

Look up his older ones. He was very prolific

[ownedbypets]

Thanks for posting his review.  We were on the same cruise, in a suite.  We ate a lot of meals in CK and spent the day at Barefoot beach.  I talk to everyone, I wonder if I ever talked to him.