Running into someone you know "from your land life" on your solo cruise.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

Here's an interesting situation: What if you, the solo cruiser, run into people you know "from your land life" on your cruise?  It can be anyone: extended family members, friends, colleagues, classmates, people from your high school, etc.  On one hand, a cruise is more fun with a like-minded friend or two.  (Emphasis on "like-minded".)  Not to mention, it's <groan!> "more normal" in many people's eyes.  On the other hand, many solo cruisers are pretty set in their ways, as far as their cruising style is concerned.  So if that group expects you to hang out with them the whole time, while not sharing your interests, it's a big monkey wrench thrown into your cruise.

There's a slight possibility this might happen on my Inspiration cruise.  A good number of people I once knew moved to LA.  And according to http://ports.cruisett.com, Imagination and Inspiration are pretty much the only ships using Port of Long Beach in September.  So the odds of someone I know finding their way onto my ship aren't entirely negligible.  I, personally, would feel torn.  They might be fun to have around.  However, I like to cruise a certain way: late dining, specific excursions, dancing to Latin music bands, eating at certain venues, attending all the shows, etc.  And with a group, I'll expected to go along with what the majority wants.  It's not the same as making friends on the ship and hanging out with them.  Those groups break off and reconvene as any individual person desires, and generally follow The Unofficial Cruiser Code of respecting someone's preexisting plans.

 

Not to mention, punctuality is not a strong suit for some people I know.  So if they inadvertently join me on my cruise, I can't help but worry what they'll make me late for.  Like the beginning of the "Welcome Aboard" show, or worse.

[mef_57]

8 hours ago, LandlockedCruiser01 said:

Here's an interesting situation: What if you, the solo cruiser, run into people you know "from your land life" on your cruise?  It can be anyone: extended family members, friends, colleagues, classmates, people from your high school, etc.  On one hand, a cruise is more fun with a like-minded friend or two.  (Emphasis on "like-minded".)  Not to mention, it's <groan!> "more normal" in many people's eyes.  On the other hand, many solo cruisers are pretty set in their ways, as far as their cruising style is concerned.  So if that group expects you to hang out with them the whole time, while not sharing your interests, it's a big monkey wrench thrown into your cruise.

There's a slight possibility this might happen on my Inspiration cruise.  A good number of people I once knew moved to LA.  And according to http://ports.cruisett.com, Imagination and Inspiration are pretty much the only ships using Port of Long Beach in September.  So the odds of someone I know finding their way onto my ship aren't entirely negligible.  I, personally, would feel torn.  They might be fun to have around.  However, I like to cruise a certain way: late dining, specific excursions, dancing to Latin music bands, eating at certain venues, attending all the shows, etc.  And with a group, I'll expected to go along with what the majority wants.  It's not the same as making friends on the ship and hanging out with them.  Those groups break off and reconvene as any individual person desires, and generally follow The Unofficial Cruiser Code of respecting someone's preexisting plans.

 

Not to mention, punctuality is not a strong suit for some people I know.  So if they inadvertently join me on my cruise, I can't help but worry what they'll make me late for.  Like the beginning of the "Welcome Aboard" show, or worse.

I plan ahead, but even I read this as a bit of 'looking for problems that don't exist'.

You say 'once knew'. People change and head in different directions.  Just because in the past you may have been pretty buddy buddy, doesn't mean either side want to do it again.  Be vague about your daily plans and dictate when and where you will participate.  Can you carry off an aura of aloofness? That helps. 

Alternatively, arrange a get together drink with them early in the trip, catch up with news and leave the next meeting open ended.  Don't give out your room number if you don't want to be inundated with phone calls.

Of course, it might be easier for introverts to say and do this, but there are options and body language does a lot of the talking for you.

[oakridger]

I agree with mef_57!!  Part of the "wisdom" I have gained from being on the planet for so many years is that I no longer feel like I must spend my time with people if I don't really want to.  If you make a connection and actually do want to spend time then great!  If not, I politely just say I have other plans if someone asks me to join their dinner/activity.  I usually sail solo and do get asked to join others occasionally (sometimes its the "pity" dinner invitation!).  If it's someone I enjoy talking to, or think I will, I do go and other times decline.  

 

Relax, and enjoy your cruise!

~Nancy

[lab_love123]

I generally wouldn't care whether I saw someone I know from land. Personally, if I ran into someone I knew and they wanted to spend time together, I would try to get it to be on my plans. For example, "I'm probably going to be at XYZ bar this evening, if you're there let's have a drink." Make it the activity YOU want to do, and leave the onus on them to show up. You'll be happy either way. Depending on who it is, sometimes I'm happy to go along with their plans if they invite me along. Regardless, I make the the decision about what I want to do. If you're worried about about committing to plans to see a show together and them making you late, make your meeting point the theater. If they're there on time, great. If not, their fault and don't feel guilty about it.

 

The beauty of a solo cruise is that you're not beholden to any group's schedule or plans. If you encounter a group of people you know, you're still not obligated to go along with their plans just because they invite you. This is your vacation so you can't feel guilty about enjoying it the way you want to. And if they get offended, well you weren't very close friends anyway so no big loss right? 

 

Two valuable life tools are: (1) the ability to see someone in passing, say "Hey, how's it going?" and keep moving without stopping to talk; and (2) the Irish goodbye.

[Lois R]

That was an excellent reply😁

[PerfectlyPerth]

I can't imagine overthinking this to any real degree. 

 

I'm on my holiday. I really don't care who else is on theirs. 

[trivimp]

On 7/7/2019 at 9:56 PM, LandlockedCruiser01 said:

... if that group expects you to hang out with them the whole time, while not sharing your interests, it's a big monkey wrench ... 

If I am NOT travelling in the company of someone, and that person expects me to do something, I fail to see how that's even remotely my issue.  I will carry on doing as I wish.  

[Lard Greystoke]

Not quite on topic, but about ten years ago on my flight to Puerto Rico for a cruise I met a high school classmate I hadn't seen for twenty or so years.  We chatted for a while, got off the plane and I haven't seen him since.

 

The odds against meeting a person you know in that way are astronomical, but so are the odds against meeting all the people you don't know.