Funny Cruise Stories

[SteveH2508]

10 hours ago, Pale Gail Sails said:

Back to the topic. 

 

Many years ago when I was going on my first cruise with a group of friends, my great Aunt (who was 11 when the Titanic sank), was worried about our cruise ship sinking. She was a retired school teacher and a great researcher. She put together a ten page letter of tips to save myself when/if the boat started sinking. Number 1 was to immediately don a life jacket and stand by a life boat if we spotted an iceberg.  We were going on a Hawaiian cruise. 

I still have the list.

Note to self: Wear lifejacket when drinking icy drinks...

[DirtyDawg]

2 hours ago, babs135 said:

I swear your jokes are getting worse!!!  I'm beginning to think that we need a 'groan' button adding to the site 😉

 

There is a Walk the Plank button but I can't get the image to load

 

Edited July 18, 2019 by DirtyDawg

[babs135]

11 minutes ago, DirtyDawg said:

 

There is a Walk the Plank button but I can't get the image to load

 

Thank God for that. Some of us cruisers can neither swim and/or are frightened of water!!!!

[MicCanberra]

3 hours ago, babs135 said:

I swear your jokes are getting worse!!!  I'm beginning to think that we need a 'groan' button adding to the site 😉

And they may never get better while the guidelines allow it.

[TNcruising02]

9 hours ago, MadWoofter said:

Scenario:

Day one of the cruise when everyone is getting their bearings & exploring.  I got into a lift with two excitable young lads of about 14-15.

Lad #1 - Wow, does this lift go sideways?

Lad #2 - Dude, that's the door close button

 

Every time I get in the lifts now I remember that conversation

 

 

That reminds me of one cruise my husband and I were on when we were sitting facing the atrium.  Two girls around 12 years old spent about 1/2 hour riding one of the glass elevators up and down.  As the elevator was moving, they would dance if nobody else was in it.  It was funny.

[MicCanberra]

Everybody should dance like no body is watching, it is liberating.

[Kartgv]

On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 5:30 PM, Pale Gail Sails said:

Back to the topic. 

 

Many years ago when I was going on my first cruise with a group of friends, my great Aunt (who was 11 when the Titanic sank), was worried about our cruise ship sinking. She was a retired school teacher and a great researcher. She put together a ten page letter of tips to save myself when/if the boat started sinking. Number 1 was to immediately don a life jacket and stand by a life boat if we spotted an iceberg.  We were going on a Hawaiian cruise. 

I still have the list.

 

That reminded me of another one that happened on a cruise across the Tasman Sea - very rough waters, 25 foot waves, high winds.    We safely snuggled down in our beds, but the next morning found that a group of about 6 first time cruisers who were travelling together, panicked and decided that they weren't safe in their cabins.    They donned their warm clothes, as well as all their jewelry (!), and dragged deck chairs near the lifeboats where they spent the night.    Hopefully someone educated them before their next cruises, assuming they ever left dry land again.    

[LandlockedCruiser01]

I was on my second cruise, so I already knew the social dynamics of cruising.  At one point, I spilled liquid on the front of my shorts, so it looked like I... well, you know.  Acting totally nonchalant, I went to my cabin to change.  As I got on the elevator, there was a kid with his parents; he looked 8 or 9.  He said: "That man looks like he peed his pants."  The parents looked totally embarrassed, and shushed him.  I turned to the family, and said: "Everybody my age pees their pants; it's the coolest."  (The joke worked because I was younger than the parents, but looked like an adult to the kid.)   The parents immediately got the "Billy Madison" reference, and cracked up; the kid looked totally confused.

Edited July 19, 2019 by LandlockedCruiser01

[MicCanberra]

Everyone your age may pee their pants but if it doesn't show it is Depends.

[ontheweb]

6 hours ago, MicCanberra said:

Everyone your age may pee their pants but if it doesn't show it is Depends.

Now, that's funny. I wonder why I'm the first to five you a Ha Ha.

[DarrenM]

13 hours ago, MicCanberra said:

Everybody should dance like no body is watching, it is liberating.

I find dancing terrifying. I wouldnt dance locked in padded cell with no windows. 

 

And blokes dancing creeps me out. Don't know why but I just dislike being near other blokes dancing. 

 

There were a few on my last cruise that loved it slightly more than the females they were with, which I just found odd.

 

I think it's from my formative years propping up the bar with pint in hand watching the lasses dance round their handbags.

 

Ah the good old days.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

26 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

I think it's from my formative years propping up the bar with pint in hand watching the lasses dance round their handbags.

 

Ah the good old days.

I remember that. <shudders!>  And god help you if you actually tried to dance with one of those women! Makes me glad to have aged out of my clubbing years. 

 

That said, my dance experiences on cruises were overwhelmingly positive.  Nothing even remotely similar to clubbing back in the day.  Women I met were happy to dance with someone new.  A gentlemanly "care to dance?" question was all it took, especially in partner dances, like salsa.

Edited July 19, 2019 by LandlockedCruiser01

[MicCanberra]

26 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

I find dancing terrifying. I wouldnt dance locked in padded cell with no windows. 

 

And blokes dancing creeps me out. Don't know why but I just dislike being near other blokes dancing. 

 

There were a few on my last cruise that loved it slightly more than the females they were with, which I just found odd.

 

I think it's from my formative years propping up the bar with pint in hand watching the lasses dance round their handbags.

 

Ah the good old days.

Perhaps you can drink like no one is watching then.

[DarrenM]

Having a beer in public is well within my comfort zone. Dancing isnt.

 

And the idea of having dance lessons to "do partner dancing" is just waaaaaaay too much to bear.

[MicCanberra]

Sometimes dancing in the dark is the best way to be free.

[DarrenM]

I prefer to be just kept in the dark. And go along my merry way without a care in the world.

[MicCanberra]

With a dark ale I presume.

[Pale Gail Sails]

On 7/17/2019 at 8:49 PM, MicCanberra said:

I have been on numerous cruises in warm weather regions and still seen icebergs, mostly in the salad bowl. Now Lettuce forgive my punning transgressions.😋

Very punny indeed.

[Pale Gail Sails]

8 hours ago, MicCanberra said:

Everyone your age may pee their pants but if it doesn't show it is Depends.

Yes we definitely need a groan button. LOL

[DarrenM]

36 minutes ago, MicCanberra said:

With a dark ale I presume.

Have we met?

[MicCanberra]

8 hours ago, DarrenM said:

Have we met?

Not yet, but maybe one day.

[DarrenM]

I will wear a carnation in my hair(I still have hair) and will be drinking a very dark ale. 

 

The password will be "it's your round"

[MicCanberra]

40 minutes ago, DarrenM said:

I will wear a carnation in my hair(I still have hair) and will be drinking a very dark ale. 

 

The password will be "it's your round"

Okay I look forward to saying it to you.

[DarrenM]

Absolutely. Getting a round in would be a pleasure.

 

Thank God for the drinks package.

[DarrenM]

Before anyone says anything, I am not really going to thank God. It's just an expression.

 

Gods drinks packages are rubbish.