what happened to dressing properly in specialty dining?

[c-boy]

 ^ well I'm glad you got that out and in the open , good to know ahead of time. 😏

[clo]

8 hours ago, slidergirl said:

 

How much luggage I can bring has nothing to do with what I bring to wear on vacation.  I'll just get that out of the way.

 

Be sure to send out flyers to all the cabins to indicate this is a special occasion for you and that you would appreciate everyone "making an effort" so you can feel special...  (sorry, I just had to say this).

Which night are you saying is a "special occasion"?  The cruise lines have set the dress suggestions.  If someone comes to what you consider is a "special occasion" in khakis or jeans and a polo shirt or a sun dress or a little black T-shirt dress, which are all within the line's suggestions, are you saying they didn't put enough effort in their attire?   You will never get me in a long dress or "fancy top with black pants" on a vacation, so feel free to avoid me 😉 If I'm abiding by the suggestions of my cruise line, sorry to ruin your dinner...

To me the issue is partially that the cruise line doesn't enforce their "code" slash "recommendations."  Also that people's interpretation of, say, "country club casual" isn't precise enough.  Some one on this site said his country club allows jeans in their MDR-equivalent.  That muddies the waters.  We probably all have different interpretations.

[dancingfish]

Slidergal I think you were missing my point- And I knew better than to comment..

 

To me the entire cruise is a special occasion. Every day that I am not at work is a special occasion!  I do not take any day for granted. We only spend 4 weekends a year at home in an effort to live life to its fullest. 

[c-boy]

clo, I wasn't the brightest fish in the bowl, when it came to English, writing and comprehension skills but; over time I came to realize that people interpret what they read differently. It baffles me as to how two sentences can be miss interpreted. I don't think that what is expected, has to be enforced.  

[slidergirl]

2 hours ago, dancingfish said:

Slidergal I think you were missing my point- And I knew better than to comment..

 

To me the entire cruise is a special occasion. Every day that I am not at work is a special occasion!  I do not take any day for granted. We only spend 4 weekends a year at home in an effort to live life to its fullest. 

I didn't miss your point.  Because a cruise is a special occasion, you personally want to dress up.  Go for it.  But, if others dress to the suggestions of the line, you can't dismiss them as "not making the effort."  Those suggestions have a wide range and no longer mean 'going to church' or cocktail or formal wear.   If someone shows up in jeans and a wifebeater and a baseball hat turned sideways, well, it is on the line to say yes or no.  Blame the line, not the individual.  

I work 50 hours/week and only have 10 days of paid time off (that is vacation AND sick time combined) a year.  I relish those few days I have.  What someone is wearing does not diminish my enjoyment of a cruise or a land vacation or a dinner in a nice restaurant.  

[awhcruiser]

On 9/9/2019 at 11:36 AM, slidergirl said:

See you in the buffet.

 

How much luggage I can bring has nothing to do with what I bring to wear on vacation.  I'll just get that out of the way.

 

Be sure to send out flyers to all the cabins to indicate this is a special occasion for you and that you would appreciate everyone "making an effort" so you can feel special...  (sorry, I just had to say this).

Which night are you saying is a "special occasion"?  The cruise lines have set the dress suggestions.  If someone comes to what you consider is a "special occasion" in khakis or jeans and a polo shirt or a sun dress or a little black T-shirt dress, which are all within the line's suggestions, are you saying they didn't put enough effort in their attire?   You will never get me in a long dress or "fancy top with black pants" on a vacation, so feel free to avoid me 😉 If I'm abiding by the suggestions of my cruise line, sorry to ruin your dinner...

 

Edited December 13, 2019 by awhcruiser

[simplelife]

Those who behave badly do so because the most of the  rest of us tolerate their behavior, under the mistaken notion that being assertive and enforcing boundaries is rude. 

[simplelife]

On 8/13/2019 at 5:30 AM, 2BACRUISER said:

The majority of cruise lines have downgraded, dumbed down, diluted whatever you want to call it their 'formal' dress codes. For what its worth i think MDR and speciality venues should be smart casual as a minimum standard.  No shabby jeans, beachwear, shorts, tanks, caps, footy shirts or track suits. We are in our fifities and we find most passengers of a similar age and older  who have grown up with certain standards and ideas of etiquette that just dont seem to exist in today's generations ie people born late eighties onwards. In fact many seem to revel in flouting the codes on purpose!

But at the end of the day the cruise lines are trying to appeal to this younger demographic as the old guard pop off the mortal coil as they are the next generation of cruisers.................

I work at a university and the large  majority of my students are considerate and  have a sense of propriety. It's not generational as much as the fact that we don't know the difference between tackiness and tolerance.

 

 

[frantic36]

37 minutes ago, simplelife said:

I work at a university and the large  majority of my students are considerate and  have a sense of propriety. It's not generational as much as the fact that we don't know the difference between tackiness and tolerance.

 

 

 

 We are in our fifities and we find most passengers of a similar age and older  who have grown up with certain standards and ideas of etiquette that just dont seem to exist in today's generations ie people born late eighties onwards. In fact many seem to revel in flouting the codes on purpose!

 

simplelife I agree with your response to the comment I highlighted in red. It is not necessarily generational. Our cruise on Seabourn in December the majority of passengers were well into their 60's and 70's and they were dressed quite casually even on Formal optional and especially the men. There were a few in their 40's and they were dressed up more than the older ones. My sons in their 20's will follow the dress code if it is stipulated, including jackets.

 

Did it upset my cruise, no, but I just wanted to highlight it is quite often older people who seem to not want to dress up. I like to dress up and I make sure my clothes are comfortable as well.

 

Julie

[clo]

On 9/9/2019 at 10:36 AM, slidergirl said:

You will never get me in a long dress or "fancy top with black pants" on a vacation,

I'm curious. If your choice of clothes was in contrast to a stated policy, would you either abide by it or go to another venue. Would you subsequently choose another line to cruise? Is the dress code a factor in which line you choose? BTW with your limited time off, how many cruises have you been on?  TIA

[slidergirl]

13 minutes ago, clo said:

I'm curious. If your choice of clothes was in contrast to a stated policy, would you either abide by it or go to another venue. Would you subsequently choose another line to cruise? Is the dress code a factor in which line you choose? BTW with your limited time off, how many cruises have you been on?  TIA

I've never been on a cruise where the policy was "fancy top with black pants."  I never say how many times I've cruised (more than one, less than 15), but I will say that I was totally turned off of it when there were still very strict dress codes and you had to eat dinner at one of two times only.  When NCL started Freestyle, I gave it a shot because I didn't have to dress up like a Prom Queen for one or two "formal" dinners.  I've bounced between a few lines since as the dress requirements loosened up.  That said, I always travel with my LBTD, and I've never been refused entry to a MDR on a ship or in a fine dining restaurant on land.

 

"limited time off" - lately it meant 2 weeks/year.  My first cruise back with NCL was when I was a "lady of leisure" and was not working.   Come April, it's going back to "lady of leisure" with semi-retirement (I still want to work a bit).  

Edited January 18, 2020 by slidergirl

[lhanson38]

I think we all have a different Idea about what is county club casual. I also think it depends on where you are from.  I will wear jeans with some strappy shoes and a nice shirt and wrap to any of the venues. I wouldn't wear jeans on formal night. We are very lucky and are able to do a 30 day cruise at the end of summer early fall. And after awhile it gets really old getting dressed for dinner. We used to dress every night because we wanted to. Now I find we are much more casual. What ever works for you so long as you are in the guidelines of the dress code

[slidergirl]

11 hours ago, clo said:

So it seems you're unwilling to answer my questions. Okay dokey.

I  believe I answered it.  What didn't I do?  I'm not one who brags about my cruises.  You don't have to take 14-44 day cruises - there are shorter ones that can fit inside a small PTO.    If a cruise line has a strict rule regarding MDR dress that I do not want to do (gowns, etc.), I do not cruise that line.   Easy peasy.  Plenty of choices where my LBTD dress works well within the suggested dress.  Not sure what you are trying to dig out of me.  

[cruisemom42]

On 9/9/2019 at 1:36 PM, slidergirl said:

 

You will never get me in a long dress or "fancy top with black pants" on a vacation, so feel free to avoid me 😉 If I'm abiding by the suggestions of my cruise line, sorry to ruin your dinner...

 

What's wrong with a "fancy top with black pants"?  To me it's the equivalent of your LBD.  Not everyone prefers to wear a dress...  

[clo]

14 minutes ago, cruisemom42 said:

 

What's wrong with a "fancy top with black pants"?  To me it's the equivalent of your LBD.  Not everyone prefers to wear a dress...  

I agree totally with you. And I think shoes pay a big part. I've seen far too many 'outfits' that likely would have been find...if not worn with sneakers or outdoor boots.

[slidergirl]

10 hours ago, cruisemom42 said:

 

What's wrong with a "fancy top with black pants"?  To me it's the equivalent of your LBD.  Not everyone prefers to wear a dress...  

If you like fancy top with black pants, fine.  It's not me.   A poster earlier upthread mentioned about "making an effort" and that putting on a fancy top with black pants would take no more time than putting on gym clothes.

 

My LBTD is 90% the ONLY time I wear a dress.    That and my Eileen Fisher pleated wool dress are the only 2 dresses I own.

[slidergirl]

On 1/19/2020 at 9:36 AM, clo said:

I agree totally with you. And I think shoes pay a big part. I've seen far too many 'outfits' that likely would have been find...if not worn with sneakers or outdoor boots.

Then, don't look at my feet.  I won't pay for a pair of "fancy" shoes at any price, be it Walmart or Louboutins that I will only wear once or twice for maybe a total of 5 hours. I'm funny that way with my money.  

 

My LBTD looks great with my Merrell tie-dye hiking boots... 😉

 

[clo]

Just now, slidergirl said:

My LBTD looks great with my Merrell tie-dye hiking boots... 😉

 

In your opinion, of course. LOL.

 

I wonder why you think an appropriate shoe is "fancy."  I wore these almost every night to dinner. Came home and threw them in the washer.

 

[slidergirl]

46 minutes ago, clo said:

In your opinion, of course. LOL.

 

I wonder why you think an appropriate shoe is "fancy."  I wore these almost every night to dinner. Came home and threw them in the washer.

 

 

First, I wouldn't pay $145 for a pair of shoes that I would only wear on a cruise for 1 or 2 dinners.  I only pay that much for my trail runners, Sorels, or hiking boots.  FULL DISCLOSURE: I did buy a pair of Rothys when I started working at one of the hotels because I could take out the insoles and in my own.  Didn't work that well, so I gave them to a young co-worker who had a really bad, cheap pair of flats.   BUT, I would maybe buy a Rothy Chelsea - I could wear that one to work - the one that looks like a Blundstone classic boot... But I guess that Rothy would be a "no" to wear with my LBTD 😉

 

 

Second, anything that I would not wear except for a special occasion I would call "fancy".  I certainly wouldn't have any use for those in my every day/night life.  Where you live, or your lifestyle, you may have use for them.  

 

I really like the idea of Rothys - ecologically friendly.  But, just not useful to me.   

 

Maybe I'm an odd duck.  So be it.  

[awhcruiser]

7 hours ago, slidergirl said:

Then, don't look at my feet.  I won't pay for a pair of "fancy" shoes at any price, be it Walmart or Louboutins that I will only wear once or twice for maybe a total of 5 hours. I'm funny that way with my money.  

 

My LBTD looks great with my Merrell tie-dye hiking boots... 😉

 

Ummmmm...

[matamanoa]

I also think it is a matter of the weight of the luggage that we are now allowed on airlines.  Those tuxes and evening gowns weigh a lot and to bring something for the formal nights that you will wear only once (perhaps twice) seems to be on cruiser's minds these days.  I do agree that people should wear smart casual in any of the restaurants for dinner but the younger generation doesn't think of this as a priority these days.  I also believe that the dress code rules for the dining rooms should be enforced.  How hard is it to put on a nice pair of pants and a clean shirt or top.

[Rorygirl4528]

I’m 72 and I do know what is appropriate to wear for different occasions. That being said, I have chosen cruise lines based on their dress code. I don’t like formal nights or the captains dinner and have no desire to attend either. I have foot problems and if people have a problem with my shoes,  too bad. . If a black pair of pants and a nice top isn’t good enough I’ll go somewhere else. 

I was on a river cruise where no jeans were allowed in the dining room for dinner. I can live with that. A man showed up in jeans and was turned away until they found out his luggage hadn’t arrived. He wore the jeans until two days before the end of the cruise when his suitcase finally caught up to him.

 

!

[lovemylab]

On 1/24/2020 at 12:05 PM, matamanoa said:

I do agree that people should wear smart casual in any of the restaurants for dinner but the younger generation doesn't think of this as a priority these days. 

 

I don't think age has anything to with it.  I've seen people of all ages not abiding by the dress code/suggested attire for the restaurants.  

[lovemylab]

I think the reason why you're not seeing people get dressed up is because the cruiselines have created a more casual dining atmosphere.  We took our first cruise 15 years ago (on Royal) and I recall there being a midnight buffet, a chocolate buffet, formal night was 5 courses and included a granite course to cleanse the palate, most evening meals in the dining room took upwards of 90 minutes to finish (and only offered two traditional dining times) and the overall food quality was better.  Today most lines offer MyTime dining or some variation of it, dinner doesn't take as long as there isn't as many courses, special buffets are gone and formal nights no longer offer a special menu.  

 

Since the onboard atmosphere and overall dining experience is more relaxed, it only makes sense that passengers are dressing more casual as well.

[c-boy]

it's all about personal preference.