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Dan M.

Reluctant Cruisers

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I am a bit envious of many people here who are cruising with a small group of family or friends. My wife & I have asked NUMEROUS people to consider going with us and have yet to find anyone who wants to give it a try.  I'm just curious if others have had similar experiences.  I don't know if people think it will be too upper class, too expensive, too boring or what but we are O-fer- in asking people to go with us.  Oh yeah, we BOTH take showers daily AND use deodorant so that's not the reason! :)

 

dlm

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Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, Dan M. said:

I am a bit envious of many people here who are cruising with a small group of family or friends. My wife & I have asked NUMEROUS people to consider going with us and have yet to find anyone who wants to give it a try.  I'm just curious if others have had similar experiences.  I don't know if people think it will be too upper class, too expensive, too boring or what but we are O-fer- in asking people to go with us.  Oh yeah, we BOTH take showers daily AND use deodorant so that's not the reason! 🙂

 

dlm

 

About half our cruises are just the two of us. The rest have been with a couple we have been close friends with for decades. Neither is better than the other. We enjoy ourselves just as much by ourselves as with others. We don't make cruising with other people a condition of cruising. We occasionally ask others if we think they might enjoy the itinerary, but aren't disappointed if they aren't interested. To us, it isn't personal. Not everyone likes what we like, and we are OK with that. 

Edited by sloopsailor

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I am fortunate to be part of a large close-knit family that enjoys being together.  And a cruise is an excellent way for the family group to enjoy being together.  Now that all of the kids are grown and for the most part on their own, we find we are doing more with just the oldies and itineraries that are a little further reaching.  

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My husband and I prefer to sail alone.  We have never failed to meet new people onboard, but then we also enjoy being able to walk away and be by ourselves.

 

We laughingly call it  “love ‘em and leave ‘em”....

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We are like GTO Girl; we prefer to sail by ourselves. We have several friends who also enjoy cruising, but it wouldn't even occur to us to ask them to join us. As for those who don't cruise- that's their preference,  so it doesn't really matter why. It's not my place to try to change their minds.

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I would hate it if family members asked me to go on a golf vacation - or even a beach vacation - with them.  Just not something I'd want to spend my time and money on, no matter how much I like the people.

I just accept that many people have no interest in being on a cruise.  More room for me and DH.

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we usually manage on our own 

once we went with friends ..should have know better

Go on your own then you can meet new people  or not the choice is  yours

 

JMO

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We, too, travel as a couple.  It's really fine!  A few times, we've vacationed with others, and it was NOT the "good time" we'd envisioned.  Everyone wants to do different things...and I felt pressured a bit to "join in" the group fun, when I didn't really want to......or things WE thought would be a hoot, not everyone else felt the same.

 

We tend to make friends, albeit short-term (for the trip) wherever we go, so it's not a huge deal, to us.

 

With cruising, not everyone is "into" it...don't pressure them...don't "talk it up" because YOUR vision will not be theirs.

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2 minutes ago, cb at sea said:

We, too, travel as a couple.  It's really fine!  A few times, we've vacationed with others, and it was NOT the "good time" we'd envisioned.  Everyone wants to do different things...and I felt pressured a bit to "join in" the group fun, when I didn't really want to......or things WE thought would be a hoot, not everyone else felt the same.

 

We tend to make friends, albeit short-term (for the trip) wherever we go, so it's not a huge deal, to us.

 

With cruising, not everyone is "into" it...don't pressure them...don't "talk it up" because YOUR vision will not be theirs.

That describes us to a T.  We're super compatible when we travel.  We keep the same hours, love different kinds of food, don't go to beaches, etc.  And, as you said, meet people easily that we enjoy at the time.

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Never even thought of asking anyone else to go with us, one reason I cruise is for “US” time, we both lead busy lives and it is spectacular to get time just for the two of us.

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I've met people on cruises and then cruised with them again at a later date.... that's the best of both worlds, IMO, because they already know how to cruise (you don't have to answer a bazillion questions) AND you already know that you enjoy their company on a cruise.  

This year's cruises for me include Symphony and Explorer with folks I met in 2016 (and cruised with again in 2018) and Mariner with folks I met in 2013 (and cruised with again in 2015), plus I met folks on Majesty last month that I can foresee cruising with again in the future.

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1 hour ago, brillohead said:

I've met people on cruises and then cruised with them again at a later date.... that's the best of both worlds, IMO, because they already know how to cruise (you don't have to answer a bazillion questions) AND you already know that you enjoy their company on a cruise.  

This year's cruises for me include Symphony and Explorer with folks I met in 2016 (and cruised with again in 2018) and Mariner with folks I met in 2013 (and cruised with again in 2015), plus I met folks on Majesty last month that I can foresee cruising with again in the future.

 

1 hour ago, brillohead said:

I've met people on cruises and then cruised with them again at a later date.... that's the best of both worlds, IMO, because they already know how to cruise (you don't have to answer a bazillion questions) AND you already know that you enjoy their company on a cruise.  

This year's cruises for me include Symphony and Explorer with folks I met in 2016 (and cruised with again in 2018) and Mariner with folks I met in 2013 (and cruised with again in 2015), plus I met folks on Majesty last month that I can foresee cruising with again in the future.

That sounds just like us.We met a couple on a cruise in 2009 and cruised with them several times afterward.Met a couple in 2011 and will be with them for the ninth time later this month.Met several couples in 2015 and were on cruises with them the next 3 years and will be with them later this year.

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Posted (edited)

Agree with lenquixote66 - we would be another couple who cruises frequently with people that we have met previously on board other ships.  In fact we are one of three couples cruising together over NYE, all of whom we met on board a cruise several years ago and have cruised with several times since.  In fact, although from different states, we have visited with both of them socially on more than one occasion. In fact one of those couples is coming this weekend to visit with us - and we were to their house over the summer.  We also have another land tour and cruise planned in June with these friends and others met on other cruises.

 

So go with an open attitude of meeting other people on board and maybe you will find yourself in similar circumstances.

 

(And Len - our visiting friends this weekend are from out your general way).

Edited by leaveitallbehind

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8 hours ago, Dan M. said:

...My wife & I have asked NUMEROUS people to consider going with us and have yet to find anyone who wants to give it a try. ...

Are any of those folks people you have already vacationed with on non-cruise holidays? Stayed in the homes of, or had stay in yours? Spent multiple nights in close proximity with, or just one or two? I ask because the old adage about visitors and fish springs to mind...

 

While experienced cruisers may be fully aware that 'cruising together' can mean simply hanging out for a few meals while doing everything else by yourselves, folks who are unfamiliar with cruising may think you are asking that they spend the entire time eating every meal with you, going to shows, taking shared excursions in ports, and frankly I couldn't imagine enjoying that for even a week let alone a longer cruise.

 

I can't think of any of my friends I wouldn't cruise with (plenty of family you couldn't get me on the same boat as though!) because I know how easy it is to just do our own thing and then meet for dinner to chat about our days. If your friends don't grok that about cruising though, the fact they refused suggests to me that they are sane and sensible folks!!!

 

Given you don't smell and you like cruising, I agree with others above that getting to know folks you meet on-board and coordinating future cruises with them seems a more likely path to a successful 'cruising with folks we know' future... and if you manage that and start telling your poor landlubber buddies about the awesome folks you met and are going on vaycay with again, and give concrete examples of what 'cruising together' actually means to you, it may put their minds at rest.

 

...or maybe you just smell so nice and are such lovely people that none of your friends feel they could be around you for a week without throwing themselves at you and risking the implosion of two marriages 😉🥰

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Posted (edited)

There are two possible reasons people are reluctant.  They don't want to travel with the people who are suggesting a cruise or they find the prospect of cruising unappealing.  If the people you are inviting are cruising on their own but decline your suggestion then it's about you.  If the people however have never cruised before then it's more likely that cruising simply doesn't interest them no matter how much you promote it.  There can be a lot not to like about cruising.

 

 

Edited by K32682

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Completed a couple of cruises with friends, but mostly we go on our own.

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I dont undretsand why anyone would want others to cruise with them?

 

Cruising is the best way ever to get away from folk and the daily grind of life.

 

Why would I want my extended family there and their problems?

 

Shudders

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We have done both, cruised by ourselves and with other couples.. and honestly we like cruising with others..  we have both alone time., and then time with our friends.. they go off and do their own thing and then we meet up later.  

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Posted (edited)

We've been doing the "Friends and Family Annual Winter Caribbean Cruise" now for over 30 years.  Over the years, as few as 18, as many as 42.  Folks are scattered from all over the country (and beyond) so it's kind a reunion.    Everyone does their own thing and the only time we are all together is at dinner and we round robin between us so the dynamics and conversation is different every night.  That's where we talk about who's doing what tomorrow, who wants to join and  who's doing their own thing.  For winter 2020, so far there are 22 of us going.  But we do take other cruises/vacations alone, as well.

Edited by marco

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31 minutes ago, cruisegirl1976 said:

they go off and do their own thing and then we meet up later

That's the way I usually travel with family -- we generally meet for breakfast and dinner, and in between we do whatever we like.  Sometimes we do compatible things together, sometimes we do things apart - but none of us feel we need to do anything we don't want to.  (That applies however I've travelled with family, cruising or on land). 

 

I cruise solo because my friends at home either don't have the time or don't have the money, and that's OK by me.  I also have some friends from around the world that I've met on cruises, and sometimes we meet up again on cruises we both plan on taking, which is lovely. 

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My father-in-law refused to cruise because of his experiences in the military during WWII. My mother-in-law and I plotted to persuade him. Well, he loved it and became an avid cruiser.

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We've booked a couple of cruises with my in-laws. My MIL cancelled both times. I'm OK with that.

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The last place I would want to meet the outlaws is over dinner.

 

I can choose my friends but family are forced on us, and we have to pretend to like each other.

 

I can do without that in my world. I have around 20 aunties or uncles, and god knows how may cousins that I havent seen in years, decades for some, and most live in the same town.

 

I dont believe I have ever missed them.

 

But dinner on the cruise is for me and my wife to enjoy.

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