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Attaching Candy Bar to Tip- yes or no?

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One of our favorite parts of cruising is the opportunity to meet the staff from other countries. We will chat with our steward, wait staff, maintenance crew, etc. to find out about their countries and families. On our last crew we really hit it off with our steward. Every time we left for a port, we'd tell him that we'd like to bring back a present and asked what he would like. That way we knew he was getting something he would use. He requested a bottle of Coke (because they have to pay extra for sodas), hot sauce (he said the food was really bland for the staff and he liked it spicy) and we were visiting a chocolate factory in Mexico so he said he'd like to try that. It was in no way an attempt to "bribe" him for better service, but just a way to show that we appreciated him and wanted to do something special for him. I know here at the office anytime someone brings in sweets, we aren't offended, we rush to the break room before it's gone! If you want to do something special for another person to help them know you appreciate them and are thinking about them, than you definitely should! If you're just doing it to ensure you get treated differently than the other passengers, cash works.

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2 hours ago, Mommyof3sweetboys said:

One of our favorite parts of cruising is the opportunity to meet the staff from other countries. We will chat with our steward, wait staff, maintenance crew, etc. to find out about their countries and families. On our last crew we really hit it off with our steward. Every time we left for a port, we'd tell him that we'd like to bring back a present and asked what he would like. That way we knew he was getting something he would use. He requested a bottle of Coke (because they have to pay extra for sodas), hot sauce (he said the food was really bland for the staff and he liked it spicy) and we were visiting a chocolate factory in Mexico so he said he'd like to try that. It was in no way an attempt to "bribe" him for better service, but just a way to show that we appreciated him and wanted to do something special for him.

 

Well, the big difference between your situation and some described here, is that you went out of your way to find out what the crew member wanted. You didn't just assume that whatever you decided to give him would be OK. Good for you!😎

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I would just give them that much more in tips and let them decide how they'd like to spend it.  Not everyone likes chocolate--particularly American chocolate.

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I believe I read John Heald say the crew enjoys the candy.  I say if you want to do it, do it.  I might take a couple of my favorites to add to my tip, sounds fun.  I was an aide at a preschool and I got lots of little gifts.   No not all were fabulous but all were appreciated.  

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I noticed a bag of candy on the nearby table.  Bar server ignored it during the first two drink rounds.  Serving the third drink, the customer pushed the candy towards the waiter.  Yes, this time he took it.  i noticed the guest did not push bagged candy for the rest of the cruise.  This was just before Halloween.

 

Many ask about gifts during the holidays.  Read where someone purchased small stuff-able items - holiday stockings - and placed the tip inside.  My female room attendant gave a large smile and said she now had a decoration for her room mirror.  

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I did this once ... didn't go over too well ... the tip was generous though.  That was well received.  Hahaha 

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On my most recent cruise I saw a guy giving boxes of candy to members of the wait staff which I thought to be rather strange.

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On 11/6/2019 at 6:56 PM, sprint180 said:

I believe I read John Heald say the crew enjoys the candy.  I say if you want to do it, do it.  I might take a couple of my favorites to add to my tip, sounds fun.  I was an aide at a preschool and I got lots of little gifts.   No not all were fabulous but all were appreciated.  

 

I don't know that John Heald has a clue what his employees actually think, and he only represents one cruise line, making his words over all moot.

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3 hours ago, ducklite said:

 

I don't know that John Heald has a clue what his employees actually think, and he only represents one cruise line, making his words over all moot.

I would say he has a good idea of what the crew likes since he is a former crew member and works with them all the time.  And as I would guess you are not a crew member and as  most people on here are not.  We are all just guessing.  That is why I put up what someone who has actually worked on a ship has said. Now, what you do with that info, I don't care.  My message was to the OP.

Edited by sprint180

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17 minutes ago, sprint180 said:

I would say he has a good idea of what the crew likes since he is a former crew member and works with them all the time.  And as I would guess you are not a crew member and as  most people on here are not.  We are all just guessing.  That is why I put up what someone who has actually worked on a ship has said. Now, what you do with that info, I don't care.  My message was to the OP.

 

And again, that's one cruise line.  

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I admit this isn't the same as cookies, candy, or fridge magnets from Kansas (😊).   

 

I've read about people bringing leftover deserts from the MDR for their room stewards.  They figured the person would appreciate having real passenger food I guess.    😲

 

Additionally, I've actually witnessed someone ordering a second entree to go, and then tell the table waiter it was for them to take back to their room after dinner was over.  The waiter couldn't hide his irritation.  Put the plate full of food under the counter where I'm sure it joined the other dirty dishes.   I honestly wonder what goes through some people's minds.     😲😲

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24 minutes ago, ldubs said:

I admit this isn't the same as cookies, candy, or fridge magnets from Kansas (😊).   

 

I've read about people bringing leftover deserts from the MDR for their room stewards.  They figured the person would appreciate having real passenger food I guess.    😲

 

Additionally, I've actually witnessed someone ordering a second entree to go, and then tell the table waiter it was for them to take back to their room after dinner was over.  The waiter couldn't hide his irritation.  Put the plate full of food under the counter where I'm sure it joined the other dirty dishes.   I honestly wonder what goes through some people's minds.     😲😲

I guess I should have just hit "like" but, good grief, ***** are people thinking? (Shaking my head in wonder.)

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I would and have done it. And it is sweet as long as the tip is generous. But not a candy bar, a box of chocolates.

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14 hours ago, clo said:

I guess I should have just hit "like" but, good grief, ***** are people thinking? (Shaking my head in wonder.)

 

I do think we are missing a couple "emotion" buttons.  There have been many posts where 😡, 😥, or 🤦‍♀️are more appropriate.

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15 hours ago, ldubs said:

I admit this isn't the same as cookies, candy, or fridge magnets from Kansas (😊).   

 

I've read about people bringing leftover deserts from the MDR for their room stewards.  They figured the person would appreciate having real passenger food I guess.    😲

 

Additionally, I've actually witnessed someone ordering a second entree to go, and then tell the table waiter it was for them to take back to their room after dinner was over.  The waiter couldn't hide his irritation.  Put the plate full of food under the counter where I'm sure it joined the other dirty dishes.   I honestly wonder what goes through some people's minds.     😲😲

Many years ago I read a book about a society in which everyone looks alike and thinks alike .I wonder how the people you referenced would deal in that kind of society.

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15 hours ago, ldubs said:

 

Additionally, I've actually witnessed someone ordering a second entree to go, and then tell the table waiter it was for them to take back to their room after dinner was over.  The waiter couldn't hide his irritation.  Put the plate full of food under the counter where I'm sure it joined the other dirty dishes.   I honestly wonder what goes through some people's minds.     😲😲

 

But that is the perfect gift!.  Causes more work for the recipient.  Is useless to the recipient.  Doesn't cost the giver a plugged nickel.  What could be better than that??

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7 hours ago, lenquixote66 said:

Many years ago I read a book about a society in which everyone looks alike and thinks alike .I wonder how the people you referenced would deal in that kind of society.

 

I wonder how I would deal with that kind of society.  Well actually, if everyone thought like me it would be good.   But everyone look like me, oh heck no!   Like the guy said, at the nude beach it isn't how I look, it is how everyone else looks that matters!  😀😀😀

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Just now, ldubs said:

 

I wonder how I would deal with that kind of society.  Well actually, if everyone thought like me it would be good.   But everyone look like me, oh heck no!   Like the guy said, at the nude beach it isn't how I look, it is how everyone else looks that matters!  😀😀😀

Everyone supposedly has a double,a person who looks exactly like them.When I was young people often said I looked like the singer Jim Morrison.

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On 11/18/2019 at 2:59 PM, ducklite said:

 

I don't know that John Heald has a clue what his employees actually think, and he only represents one cruise line, making his words over all moot.

He rarely even know what the posted Carnival policies are.  He tells folks on his FB that tips are purely voluntary but then he writes this on a crew page http://crew-center.com/carnivals-senior-cruise-director-we-need-look-closely-removing-crew-gratuities  He simply tells people stuff to churn the waters

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On 11/20/2019 at 12:16 AM, ldubs said:

I admit this isn't the same as cookies, candy, or fridge magnets from Kansas (😊).   

 

I've read about people bringing leftover deserts from the MDR for their room stewards.  They figured the person would appreciate having real passenger food I guess.    😲

 

Additionally, I've actually witnessed someone ordering a second entree to go, and then tell the table waiter it was for them to take back to their room after dinner was over.  The waiter couldn't hide his irritation.  Put the plate full of food under the counter where I'm sure it joined the other dirty dishes.   I honestly wonder what goes through some people's minds.     😲😲

Some folks simply can't respect another person's culture.  Much of the crew's diet is rice based (rice is power) but cruisers assume they would prefer main dining room items.

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4 hours ago, Elaine5715 said:

Some folks simply can't respect another person's culture.  Much of the crew's diet is rice based (rice is power) but cruisers assume they would prefer main dining room items.

 

This actually occurred to me too. We have spent many lovely holidays in the US, but an aspect of the culture there which really grated on our nerves was the seemingly false bonhomie i.e. "I'm your server, my name is......and tonight our specials are .....'

and generally behaving as if they were our new best friend.

Having spent more holidays in Europe, where being a  waiter is a professional job and not someone serving tables while looking for a better job, we found this odd to begin with and then a PITA. So I wouldn't have this sort of personal relationship with crew. I'm pleasant and thoughtful, but definitely wouldn't consider giving them a gift, any more than I would give a gift to a flight attendant.

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7 hours ago, sailing canary said:

 

This actually occurred to me too. We have spent many lovely holidays in the US, but an aspect of the culture there which really grated on our nerves was the seemingly false bonhomie i.e. "I'm your server, my name is......and tonight our specials are .....'

and generally behaving as if they were our new best friend.

Having spent more holidays in Europe, where being a  waiter is a professional job and not someone serving tables while looking for a better job, we found this odd to begin with and then a PITA. So I wouldn't have this sort of personal relationship with crew. I'm pleasant and thoughtful, but definitely wouldn't consider giving them a gift, any more than I would give a gift to a flight attendant.

 

That is interesting to me because while the over the top sappy "omg how are youuuu" servers aren't my favorite, I do enjoy when someone is friendly and chatty. Maybe because I am naturally more out-going myself (I am a commercial banker - not a server). I guess I don't see how someone "behaving as if they were your new best friend" can be construed as being a PITA but we are all different. I'm not offended when I go to Europe and the servers are curt and efficient. It is just a different culture. 

I also tip my flight attendant, so apparently I just give too much to people that normally don't receive anything. If it is a short domestic flight with bare minimum service, I don't tip. But if I'm flying first class and/or a longer flight with meal service and an attendant that is attentive and pleasant, I tip. 

I also think people are getting aware from the original message - TIP MONEY. If you want to add something IN ADDITION to money, then sure. Go for it, if that is what you want.

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7 hours ago, sailing canary said:

 

This actually occurred to me too. We have spent many lovely holidays in the US, but an aspect of the culture there which really grated on our nerves was the seemingly false bonhomie i.e. "I'm your server, my name is......and tonight our specials are .....'

and generally behaving as if they were our new best friend.

Having spent more holidays in Europe, where being a  waiter is a professional job and not someone serving tables while looking for a better job, we found this odd to begin with and then a PITA. So I wouldn't have this sort of personal relationship with crew. I'm pleasant and thoughtful, but definitely wouldn't consider giving them a gift, any more than I would give a gift to a flight attendant.

I have seen overly friendly servers and agree that can be annoying.  I'm not sure how your example would bother me.  An introduction seems appropriate (if I need something I can call the person by name rather than "hey you") and mentioning specials or making recommendations could be expected.

 

Being overly familiar and calling me "hon" or "sweetie" and asking about my day or what brings me there is off putting.

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8 hours ago, sailing canary said:

any more than I would give a gift to a flight attendant.

That's kinda funny. Some years ago I bought some French pastries - from a bakery in Rio of all places - and gave them to the FAs.  They loved them.

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