Transgendered Cruisers - Question

[RyanMFitz1]

I am in the beginning phases of my transition and have a cruise already booked 2 years from now.  Of course we can't predict the future, my question is this:

 

Based on your experienced, how are transgendered people received on a cruise?  Any line "better" than the other in regards to this?  

[MishelleMcc]

Very good question!  I suspect that the lines, ships and itineraries that tend to be more open  to "Queer" folks in general would be more welcoming to our Transgendered persons.

 

That said, if you are ever on a cruise with my wife and I, feel free to hang out with us! 

[tompeter]

IMHO, as long as you avoid short (4-5 night) "booze" cruises, You will be unlikely to run into a problem....

[DenGNNJ]

Ever since you posted this, I’ve felt an itch to offer some perspective or advice that would help you answer this question but unfortunately, I haven’t had any experience with transgendered individuals on cruises … none that I was aware of anyway.  Our cruise experience lies solely with travelling as a cisgender gay couple for about thirty years.

 

Out of our own perceived necessities, it began with all-gay cruise charter companies like RSVP and Atlantis Events.  More than the parties and Miss Richfield shows, we were interested in the security we would feel in freely being ourselves 100% of the time.  We were not unique in wanting this … both companies use this as part of their marketing text, or at least they did (I’m not sure about now).  Another thing that struck me as interesting at the time, Atlantis I believe claimed that the cruise line personnel and resort personnel for their charters underwent “gay training”… being around a boatload of gay men and gay couples for a week – what to expect – that sort of thing.  Aside from that, if you’ve ever been on an RSVP or Atlantis cruise, you know that there is a definite party atmosphere and that party atmosphere can sometimes get a little crazy (to say the least).

 

Love them or hate them, RSVP and Atlantis did have a positive effect on cruise lines and cruise personnel.  I’ve been told on many occasions by crew that they look forward to all-gay charter cruises because they’re ‘more fun’ and ‘gay folks are so much more polite and understanding when things go wrong’ etc.  These companies have been operating for years, and for years this positive exposure to 'us'  has been occurring.  Plus, these companies have consistently sold-out entire ships, many times during off or shoulder-seasons.  As the saying goes, ‘money talks’ and queer dollars are just as green as any other.  Courting our queer dollars has been in the playbook of cruise companies for a very long time - they WANT our business.

 

Now I’m not suggesting that anyone EXCLUSIVELY take all-gay chartered cruises… quite the contrary.  Several years ago, we decided to move away from all gay cruises and instead turned to cruises where we knew there would be a substantial population of gays on board.  Companies like Pied Piper seemed to fit the bill for our comfort level, but a strange thing happened while we were on board… the cruise we took out of NJ to Bermuda; there weren’t that many Pied Piper cruisers on board, we ended up not hanging around with the group anyway and had a blast meeting and interacting with the people outside the charter group.  We didn’t try to hide that we were a couple, and no one gave a @#$% which was great. 

 

This has opened a lot more travel possibilities for us and quite frankly, we haven’t taken a ‘gay anything’ cruise for a very long time.  Would we again? … sure!  But now we’re more concerned with the accommodations, the itinerary, the food, etc., and not so much on whether we’ll feel comfortable or be treated with dignity and respect while on board.  We still are extremely wary of visiting countries where there are anti-gay laws on the books and those laws are enforced, but that’s another topic altogether.  And most importantly, we've never stopped being careful - there are people out there that still hate us and as @tompetermentioned, booze most definitely makes bad people even worse.

 

You mentioned that your cruise his happening two years from now.  From my perspective, Transgender folks have made a TREMENDOUS amount of progress toward social acceptance in a relatively short period of time.  Think of how long it took for marriage equality to become law in the US after the Stonewall protest.  I marched for marriage equality in the NYC pride parades for several years.  Back then, I personally didn’t even know what being transgendered meant.  I’m thankful that people in the transgendered community were brave enough and loud enough to bring these issues to light.  Fast forward 20 years and now here I am… married, living in a NJ suburb, and working for a huge real estate company that regularly discusses queer issues and our company’s culture of inclusiveness on a regular basis.  I never would have predicted I would be where I am now twenty-some years ago.  Attitudes are changing and changing fast… think what progress will be made two years from now when your cruise happens.

 

I wrote all that to help put your mind at ease and provide a little perspective.  I don’t believe you’ll be treated badly while on board.  If you are, it would be the exception not the rule, and it would probably be by a stupid passenger and not a crew member.  Remember too… mostly everyone on the ship will be in vacation mode.  No sane person goes on a vacation looking for a confrontation.  At worst if someone suspects you have transitioned, you might catch a stare.  At best you’ll find super cool, nice folks to hang out with and possibly form lasting friendships.

Edited September 16, 2021 by DenGNNJ

[DenGNNJ]

10 hours ago, MishelleMcc said:

That said, if you are ever on a cruise with my wife and I, feel free to hang out with us! 

@RyanMFitz1 ... They seem pretty cool - I'd take @MishelleMcc up on that offer 🙂

Edited September 16, 2021 by DenGNNJ

[geoherb]

In all our cruises, we finally had T representation at an LGBT meeting on one of our Princess cruises. I would not have known if she had not told us. 

[Adventure_Seeker_Sean]

On 9/14/2021 at 4:27 PM, RyanMFitz1 said:

I am in the beginning phases of my transition and have a cruise already booked 2 years from now.  Of course we can't predict the future, my question is this:

 

Based on your experienced, how are transgendered people received on a cruise?  Any line "better" than the other in regards to this?  

 

I think you'll be great on any cruise line.  RCCL/Celebrity is very LGBT friendly as is HAL, NCL.

Truly you'll have a good time.

 

If you have romantic designs, maybe pick a charter or line that best accommodates transgendered folks:

• If you do an all gay cruise charter, I would probably recommend "Vacaya" over Atlantis/RSVP.  Reason is that the crowd on Atlantis is almost 99% gay males in the guest-makeup, whom are looking for other gay males (they won't be interested in biological females who have changed gender to man); as much as I have known it, gay men are attracted to male parts as first criteria consideration over gender, so transgender folk won't spark anything in most of those gay guys.

Vacaya is for all LGBT community in a broad audience, although majority will still be as described above.

 

If you're just cruising any line for a good time just to enjoy yourself and have a good vacation, you're going to be fine and be entertained by any and all.

 

Have a great time on your cruise, I'm sure you'll be fine  and make many friends!

[Carla Moore]

I transitioned socially 3.5 years ago and medically a little over two years ago I did a cruise in September and another in November with MSC the second one had at least 3 other trans women a couple in the earl stages of transition.  I was treated like any other woman by staff and other guests some may have had a problem but I felt more comfortable than any of my previous cruises just being myself.  Don’t know if this helps but I find being authentic open and honest to be fairly well accepted by most people you do you and as long as your not in someone’s face about it it’s all good😊 

[CatLadyFemme]

My trans masc partner and I have cruised many times, and are super out (though I haven’t been on a ship since I came out as nonbinary 2 years ago). When it has come up, folks have been pretty welcoming (all on Royal). I just ask for us to have our own table at dinner because we both do trans 101 trainings for work and would prefer not to have to do them while eating.

[Putting on the Ritz]

We have started traveling with our trans friend. She joined us for her first cruise last month and is joining us for her second cruise in July. I saw no one, passenger or staff treat her rudely last trip nor did she mention anyone doing so. We are a lesbian couple and have been cruising for years. We have on very rare occasions run into passengers who had an issue but never had a confrontation. They have asked to be moved to another dining table. (We assume because of the lesbian thing) It worked out great because after our straight table mate said this guy was making eyes at her I started a conversation with him and found out he was there without his husband who just got a new job and could not make the sailing. We invited him to our table for the rest of the cruise and we’re able to meet his husband on another cruise this past November.