cruise without the kids?

[Çay girl]

I posted on the family board because I want the input of other parents! :D

I feel really guilty taking my son out of school - he's a fourth grader this fall. My family (no other kids) and friends that frequently travel together have booked a cruise out of my hometown (great itin & fabulous price!), it's 14 days and he would miss two whole weeks of school. So, my decision needs to either be- sit out this vacation, or me and my husband go alone. We've done vacations with him so far and we haven't had any solo vacations since our honeymoon. I just feel so guilty!

 

Do I need to just get over the guilt and go, OR is the guilt legitimate & I need to skip this cruise?

I appreciate honest answers. Thanks! Did I mention I've already booked but can still cancel no penalty, see my sig!

[megnsamsgracie]

we never had a honeymoon.. never took vacations by ourselves either. 2 years ago we went to Treasure Island FL by ourselves and LOVED it! It was wonderful and we can back appreciating the kids much more. We decided to take one vacation a year, just us. Last year we had Siesta Key Fl booked and had to cancel as my dad got sick. So we are taking a cruise by ourselves next month and cant wait! Its nice spending time with just your spouse! We are then taking a family trip in December too so the kids arent totally left out!

[lostie]

14 days is a LONG time. I am a teacher so I'm against him missing that much school. How would you feel about leaving him for 2 weeks? How would he feel about you being gone that long? Who would take care of him while you're gone? All of these things should help you answer your question. I couldn't leave my kids for that long but they are younger (2 & 6). Whatever you decide, make sure he feels good about it too. If you do take him, give his teacher some notice to prepare work for him to take along. Good luck! Let us know what you decide.

[Luxuriate]

Who would be caring for your child? Family that he is very familiar with? Close to his school? How disrupted would his routine be?

 

I would cruise for two weeks in a heartbeat with a school-age child staying home, as long as I had good, reliable, loving childcare. I plan to have my son stay with grandma when he gets older so that my husband and I can vacation together.

 

Cheryl

[momofmn00]

DH and I have taken 2 trips without the kids in our 8 years of marriage. I am lucky because I have 2 loving, caring parents (grandparents to them!:p ) that help me out. They are still quite young (just turned 50!) and pretty energetic, which is good because my kids are only 13 months apart!

 

This last February we took a 7 day W. Caribbean cruise. Lucky for us, they stayed with Meme & Papa, but all else stayed the same. Since we live in the same city, my mom drove them to school each day on her way to work (and lucky for her, since she worked at Oxford Healthcare @ the time), she could schedule her clients to be over before school let out to pick them up!;) They still sttended nighly activities, as my mom asked me to write out the weekly schedule before leaving. I also left insurance cards, as well as a letter allowing them guardianship incase of an emergency.:confused:

 

I guess for me, I am very lucky to have parents that are able and willing to care for my children. It's not that we don't want to take them, but sometimes, adults need to spend time together. :)

 

We will be taking the kids on their first cruise NEXT October! It will be a BLAST!!!:D

[megnsamsgracie]

I forgot, when we go away, the kids stay with my mom (and step dad and brother and sister and BIL) and we go in the summer so no school routines to mess up.

[Keith1010]

I do think it would be wrong to take you son out of school. It's much too much time to miss.

 

The other issue is really a personal decision and one that only you can make. There are many factors to consider such as who would watch your son while you are away. In our case, my wife and I would have passed on the trip, but others would go. You have to make the decision that you feel comfortable with.

 

Keith

[BethCarp]

Wow, that's a tough decision. DH and I went to Alaska when our older son was 2. We had no problems leaving him then. We're planning a short get-away this winter and leaving the kids, again no problems. We're planning a land trip to Hawaii in a couple of years too. BUT, I might just have a problem going on a two week cruise without the kids. Simply because they would know what they're missing out on. I also definitely wouldn't take my kids out of school for two weeks (nor are we allowed to).

 

I don't think anyone can make this decision for you. I don't think it makes you a bad parent to leave him; it sounds like it would be a fun trip. If you think you'll feel guilty, then that could affect your trip though.

[crusinmama06]

I usually have no problems pulling my kids out of school (they are YOUNG though) but 2 weeks is a LONG time. I don't know if I could do it for 2 weeks.

 

What does your son say? Would he be excited to stay with his grandparents for 2 weeks?

[Quilting_Cruiser]

Personally, I wouldn't pull my daughter out of school for two weeks--that's just too long (not saying you shouldn't, I just wouldn't).

 

I also wouldn't leave my DD for two weeks unless I had to--I was gone in April for eight days for a business trip to China and it was really hard on all of us. Yes, I felt guilty (espcially on the extra days I had booked for touring more so than when I was actually working). One element of our situation is that DD is, for all intents and purposes, an only child (all of her siblings are adults). I believe that makes separations from DH and me especially difficult for her.

 

Again, I'm not saying that you would feel guilty or in any way implying that going on this cruise would make you a bad parent. You just need to weigh your options and decide if that will work for you and if it will work for your son.

 

I can tell you're really struggling with this. Best wishes to you!

 

Jayne

[Çay girl]

I left out that my son would be staying with his biological father - I'm married to his stepdad- who is more of a dad than his real dad anyway, but that's beside the point. I've taken my son on 6 cruises in his life, he likes it and if I asked him no doubt he would be fine with missing 2 weeks of school. But I can't take him out that long. That is just too much at one time to miss, I think. It will either be me and my husband without Brendon or we won't go at all. But, I still have the guilts to leave him. :confused:

In my defense, I've always spent my vacations with him even the 5 years I was a single mom. My honeymoon 3 years ago seems like forever ago.

 

Thanks for your input. I agree 2 weeks is too much time to be out of school, but it may also be too much time away from my baby!

 

Lisa

[kitty9]

Mom's and dad's need alone time too. It will refresh your batteries, so to speak, and will be wonderful for you and your husband. Since you've cruised with your son before, it's not like you're doing something that he's never experienced. Don't feel guilty, and do what your heart tells you. Whatever you decide will be right for you. And as others have said, I too feel two weeks out of school is a bit long. Even if your son is an A student, catching up with the work could be difficult for him.

[ShedQueen77]

I have three kids (11, 5, 3) and I probably wouldn't take them out of school for two weeks. But...even Moms and Dads do deserve some alone time. Don't EVER feel guilty about that! A solid marriage makes solid parents, resulting in solid children! :) To keep your marriage alive and happy, Mom and Dad also need to have that sparkling husband/wife relationship. A nice vacation every now and again will definitely keep that spark going!

 

If your son is comfortable with the idea and you have access to a great caregiver for him for those two weeks, I'd definitely go!

 

We're taking our first cruise in December sans the kiddos. We'll "make it up" to them on our next cruise! :)

[Quilting_Cruiser]

In my defense, I've always spent my vacations with him even the 5 years I was a single mom. My honeymoon 3 years ago seems like forever ago.

 

 

Lisa, you don't have to defend yourself!! No one's saying you're a bad parent for considering going on a cruise without your son! And, even if they were, we're just a bunch of strangers on a message board. :p

 

You should do what you feel is right for your family!

 

Best wishes,

Jayne

[Karysa]

Two weeks is about one week too long for me to be away from our girls. My hubby would be fine with it, the 13 year old might notice that we're gone but our 11 year olds would be very upset and sad and even a t-shirt at every port would not make it ok with them.:rolleyes: We have worked up to eight days over the last several cruises but 14 would be stretching it and if you fly in early and got home late 14 could turn into 16 pretty fast. If you do decide to do it then make your decision, plan well, trust the people looking after your child and when you board that ship just surrender and have a great cruise or just stay home (advice from my older sis which I used and it worked like a charm).

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

Karysa

[Çay girl]

thanks to everyone for advice and words of wisdom!

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond for me!

[Onessa]

I'm in my late 40's and the "caboose" in my family. My parents would travel each winter (various locations) and leave me home (I had perfect attendence until 9th grade!) with my grandmother. They would generally be gone 5-9 days. And I was not "all right" with it, as much as my mother might insist that I was.

 

I volunteer with a number of children's groups. One of my Girl Scouts (10YO) seemed a little down last January - when I asked what was wrong, she said that her parents were gone on a trip without her and although her aunt was the coolest person she knew, she still couldn't understand why her mom and dad would want to "leave" her. It was heartbreaking.

 

Kids respond differently to being left behind, some barely notice you are gone while others take it hard. Fourteen days is a LONG LONG time, if you are not comfortable taking out of school, personally, I'd pass on this one.

[Ellanora]

Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right decision for your family. For me, I would not voluntarily be away from my son for 14 days. 7, maybe. I have had to leave my son with my parents a couple times for work traveling, for a week at a time, and it was not pleasant for me. He did fine though, and probably your son would to. An adult vacation would be fabulous, but, wow, 14 days. If it were me and my son, I would either pull him out of school or stay home.

[Çay girl]

My parents would travel each winter (various locations) and leave me home (I had perfect attendence until 9th grade!) with my grandmother

...she still couldn't understand why her mom and dad would want to "leave" her. It was heartbreaking....

Fourteen days is a LONG LONG time, if you are not comfortable taking out of school, personally, I'd pass on this one.

 

I think my situation IS a little different than yours and the little girl you mention, because:

my son will be with his biological father, and I've taken him on EVERY vacation I've been on in 9 years, (except for my honeymoon:eek: ) and this isn't an "each winter" event. He's been with me twice to Disney, once to Mexico for a week, been on many cruises with me, and once to our local beach for a week. Aside from this, next week his father is taking him on a vacation, this is the first time in the 9 years of his little life that his dad is including Brendon in his vacation plans. (His father's been on multiple vacations without Brendon during that time. Just recently a week-long cruise with his cop buddies.) So this year the vacations will be in reverse. Do I like this? NO!, and I am still on the fence, but I really hate feeling guilty about it. I don't know if he'll feel "left behind", because he's going on vacation next week without me, and he'll be with his dad while I'm gone in November. Especially when I'll tell him that I will take him on a nice long vacation during spring break.

My husband treats Brendon like his own son, he loves him and he would do anything for him, but maybe it would be nice for vacation for just the two of us we do work complete opposite schedules.

The worst part will be seeing other kids on the ship, this will hurt. Still undecided. :confused: But I actually think I'm talking myself into it.

[jennew]

Here is my two cents. I am in a similiar situation, I have an 8 year old who adores my husband (his stepdad). I have left him with bio-dad for a one week cruise...but no way could I last for two weeks. I would miss him to pieces and that would spoil my trip. I suspect you are the same way. I am sure he would be fine without you, but I bet you would be the one who would be heartbroken.

 

I just looked at the itinerary. My thought is that it would be a beautiful trip for your son and it is easily educational. I would work with his teacher early on and get some things planned before the trip. Have him read up on some of the places you are visiting. You don't need to make it ALL work, but you can certainly learn a few things about other cultures and history. He could take some photos and prepare a report for his class. Maybe you can help him put together a nice powerpoint slideshow for them. Education should be fun and help him to expand his horizons.

 

I have children that range in ages from 8 to 23. If I have learned anything at all, it is that time flies. One day you are holding this baby who relies on you for everything and then next thing you know they are too busy to call you back on their cell phones. I know you have heard the cliche's....but trust me, I am living it now. Take every moment with your son and enjoy it to the fullest.

 

again....this is just my two cents. I hope it helped in some small way

[bluejaygirl]

I could do a week, but not 2!

[lubyshell]

2 weeks is a long time for them to be out of school, however I would do it but my wife would probably not, i was never a big fan of school which i guess is why i am a blue collar worker ;) I really like to take my kids with me all the time, i really have fun with them, not saying i would like to go away just the 2 of us i just dont like to travel without them JMO

[momofcandj]

I never vacationed without my kids, now 6 and 8. When my DH was in Iraq, my inlaws took the boys then 3 and 5 for a week. That was such a long week, no DH, no kids, just me. Ive never been alone like that before, I went from my parents house to my DH's house. It was nice but a little unsettling at first.

 

Now DH & I have never had any vacations without the kids. We used to joke about a honeymoon cruise at 10 yrs, we didnt have a real honeymoon when we married. He surprised me this year but telling me we would book that cruise, this year is 9 yrs for next year. He booked it & asked his parents if they would be willing to take the kids. Of course they would, they love the boys & rarely get to see them.

 

Then we asked the kids & they actually CHOSE my inlaws over the cruise. Crazy isnt it. They want a vacation too and the grandparents with no parents, woohoo, party time.

 

We are going in the summer so no school issues for us. But our school will let you do indendpent study, if you let them know in a certain amount of time advance notice. They have to be gone at least 2 weeks to get that program. Not sure if other schools offer that or not, this is a public school on a military base but with non military kids as well. Ive never heard of it til we got here but maybe it was just not as well announced before.

 

We will be apart from the kids for 6 or 7 days, its a 5 day cruise and we might leave a day earlier and come back a day late.

 

I dont know if I could do 2 weeks and my kids have never cruised. But we will be planning a family cruise, if we like cruising.

 

Maybe your son would love to spend more time with his biological father.

Its important to include the kids in the decisions and it is important to have time away from your child with your spouse.

 

Kari

[notentirelynormal]

Have you asked him how he feels? Maybe that would help with your decision. This could be an easier decision then you think. He might just tell you, GO! In the end its a personal decision. Whichever way you decide, don't feel guilty. You've been making decisions that affect your son's life since the day he was born. Trust your judgment.

 

When my kids were little I went on a 10 day cruise without them and left them home (ours) with Grandma. They went to school, we went on vacation, came home and nothing was different.

 

We've also taken them on 14 cruises, most during school. Their teachers/school were notified well in advance. They had homework they worked on during the flight and cruise and everything was fine with the school. What they learned on their cruises has been more beneficial then what they missed at school (remember they did all their homework) and they have a much better knowledge of other cultures.

 

Spending time with his dad might be the best thing as well. Gives him a chance to be with him and get to know him... and a chance to see what a great mom and step dad he's got.

[karenh1127]

I know the op is not considering taking her child out of school for 2 weeks, but I know in our city if your child misses over 3 consecutive days they must have a doctors excuse to return. Otherwise the district truancy office took you to court. I took our kids out for 4 days last dec for a christmas disney trip and let the office know well in advance. I was assured it was ok since they never miss school. And it was. I can remember when students were allowed 10 unexcused abscences so if families wanted to vacation. Now you only get 3.:(

 

Sorry I got off topic.