What would you do?

[SillySoul]

I would like to hear comments on this. We invited another couple to go on a cruise with us. We made all the plans and everything was great. We get a call a few days later telling us the couple we invited invited along another couple we do not know. Hmm, we will not meet them until we are getting on the ship. I'm thinking what if we don't like them, we would be stuck with them for ten days! :eek: So we said nothing because we were a but stunned. Then a few days after that they call to say they invited their elderly parents and two teenage girls. :mad: This was a trip I always wanted to take that just seemed to get ruined. Am I wrong thinking this other couple was rude to do this? :confused: So we are deciding to cancel or not. Instead we invited another couple to go along thinking we would see the ifrst couple once in a while and all would be fine. We explained fully what happened with couple number one that we invited. They said they would love to come along and we would get together to decide on excursions. This gets better. :cool: A few days later the second couple calls to say another couple invited themselves to go along with us. AARRGGHHH!!!!! We met this other couple. They are nice but I do not think I want to spend ten days with a Rodney Dangerfield type guy and his trophy wife. I'm sure you all get the picture. So here is the question. What would you do? Would you just cancel and let all of them go on the cruise, and book another cruise ourselves? Or, go along and grin and bear it and just make excursion plans to go by our lonesome? I basically know what I may do, just some others comments on this situation would be good to hear. Thank You! :rolleyes:

[okfarmerswife]

Cancel and go by yourselves on another cruise if you're not up for a group. I don't see that you can dictate who goes. Even though you "invited" these couples, they're still paying their own way so technically they can mention it to whomever they choose. Bad taste on their part? Probably. Especially without mentioning it to you first. Our last cruise was a larger group (DH's class reunion) and we had a blast. Everyone did what they wanted to do(some grouped together on excursions) but met for dinner everynight. I am looking forward however, to our October cruise being just DH and myself.

It's not like you'll be all together 24 hours a day I hope, so for me it wouldn't really be a problem.

It's your choice. Either way pick a cruise and have a great time!

[jean s]

A number of years ago a similar thing happened to us. Initially we were going on a Caribbean cruise with our 15 yr. old son, our friends and their two teenage daughters. By the time we left for the cruise 5 other couples with children and one women's elderly parents had joined us! We were a little nervous but we had a marvelous time. The kids are all in graduate school now and every once in awhile we pull out the pictures and the videos and have a couple of good laughs. What a great trip we had. I say go with the group, you may be pleasantly surprised.

[clackey]

We enjoyed our first cruise so much that we invited my wife's sister to go on our second trip. Then we invited her brother and his wife on the third trip. My closest and dearest friend and his spouse went on the fourth. Since then, we sail solo. I love them all and would do anything for them, but when it comes to vacation time, Miss Ginger is the only one that counts. We have a great time together and when we are solo we can do whatever, whenever we want. Live and learn my friend. Live and learn.

 

P.S. I been on hunting and camping trips with people I didn't care for and it is miserable. I would cancel and rebook.

[cusyl]

Just because you are all going to be on the same ship doesn't mean you have to spend every waking hour with them. If you want to get together with them at dinner, do so...but make all your excursion plans on your own.:cool:

[JanineM]

If your cabins aren't right beside each other or adjoined you will absolutely be able to just go along on your own and meet at dinner, or in the evenings, or whatever.

 

We just cruised with a couple who brought along another couple of friends and we arranged to do one excursion with our friends and one dinner at Chops - the rest of the time we just played it by ear and met at the pool on seas days and in the dining room most nights.

 

If you really feel like this will "ruin" your cruise then you should probably cancel, especially if you had hoped to spend time alone with that other couple. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but clearly your friends had other ideas. We all have different goals and expectations when we travel, so you'll just have to stay true to yourselves.

[CaptData]

If your reservations are not linked then go with the group. You may find that you only see each other in passing. If your ressies are linked (this means dinner toghter every night) then it is your move.

[nycgirl0618]

After spending a land based Disney vacation in a similar situtation, I would cancel and go by yourselves another time. I am no longer speaking to a woman I was close with for the past 7 years and my brother and I have a strained relationship because of this trip from hell. Why pay money and feel umcomfortable? Of course, like another poster said if you are all not sitting together at dinner and doing excursions together, it might not be that bad. Will you tell us what your decision is? Just curious:D

[psychboss]

:) I would think it is obvious that they don't want to spend all of their time with the two of you or they would not have invited all of these other people. You can choose to eat dinner with them or not. It could be a lot of fun to all get together at dinner as a larger group to see what everyone else did all day or you can choose to eat at a table for two and have romantic, private dinners alone and just "run into" each other here and there. It was not necessarily rude as they are paying their own way. It would be a little different if the 4 of you had sat down together and chosen the cruise line, the cruise, the dates, the staterooms etc. all together. Then the cruise would truly belong to the 4 of you. But my understanding is that the 2 of you did all of the choosing and then invited them to join you and they had no say in any of the details. So they probably felt more like tag a longs anyway. Personally I think it would be rude if you canceled after inviting others to join you, but that is your choice. I would go, dine alone or with them - your choice. But I would not fell obligated to do everything with everyone. Maybe some of them will want to do things together with you. My guess is that you will all have a great time if you just take a step back, relax and enjoy! Don't worry who is going and who is not. YOU are going and you will have as good a time as you let yourself!

 

There are a LOT of people on a cruise ship that P*** the H*** out of me, but I am learning to ignore them and not let them ruin my cruise. Just pretend you do not know some of those other people and ENJOY!

[clearwaters]

I would like to hear comments on this. We invited another couple to go on a cruise with us. We made all the plans and everything was great. We get a call a few days later telling us the couple we invited invited along another couple we do not know. Hmm, we will not meet them until we are getting on the ship. I'm thinking what if we don't like them, we would be stuck with them for ten days! :eek: So we said nothing because we were a but stunned. Then a few days after that they call to say they invited their elderly parents and two teenage girls. :mad: This was a trip I always wanted to take that just seemed to get ruined. Am I wrong thinking this other couple was rude to do this? :confused: So we are deciding to cancel or not. Instead we invited another couple to go along thinking we would see the ifrst couple once in a while and all would be fine. We explained fully what happened with couple number one that we invited. They said they would love to come along and we would get together to decide on excursions. This gets better. :cool: A few days later the second couple calls to say another couple invited themselves to go along with us. AARRGGHHH!!!!! We met this other couple. They are nice but I do not think I want to spend ten days with a Rodney Dangerfield type guy and his trophy wife. I'm sure you all get the picture. So here is the question. What would you do? Would you just cancel and let all of them go on the cruise, and book another cruise ourselves? Or, go along and grin and bear it and just make excursion plans to go by our lonesome? I basically know what I may do, just some others comments on this situation would be good to hear. Thank You! :rolleyes:

 

 

Dump 'em!! ;)

[Coolmama_1]

I too say go and enjoy. You will not be together 24/7 and you may like these other people more than you realize. Who knows, they may be thinking the same thing about you! ;)

[luvscruising2007]

I, too, think it would be a little rude to cancel after initiating the cruise plans. I think I would continue with the cruise but as others have suggested make all of my other plans independently. Having dinner with these folks could be the only time you will see any of them and it sounds like there will be more than enough people to fill two tables. What ever you decide don't let it ruin your vacation.

[psbtrvlr]

A similar situation occurred with us on our last cruise. I called the travel agent and had our reservations unlinked. I also changed pre-cruise hotels. We had a marvelous cruise and did nothing with all those 'other' people. Ran into them a few times, met all the ones I didn't know, talked for a couple of minutes each time and that was it.

[Krazy Kruizers]

I agree with another poster, it is obvious that the couple you invited to go on the cruise with originally doesn't want to spend all their time with you, thus they invited more people they know.

 

Go on the cruise and do what you want to do. If they start to make excursion plans - do your own privately.

 

Go and enjoy and don't ever invite them again.

[terrielynn]

Wow!! Can you say snowball effect???

I don't think that you are wrong at all thinking that it was rude of couple #1 to invite others. Don't cancel though! You are not rooming with any of these people right? I agree with psbtrvir and have you reservations unlinked. Pick and choose the time that you spend with them and remind yourself the next time you cruise not to invite them!! Good luck!!!

 

[GRBlizz]

One other thought - how well do you know the first couple you invited? If you are good enough friends, why not ask them what they have in mind for the cruise with the extra people? Maybe they were thinking you would all do everything together and a larger group would make for more variety, or maybe they were expecting everyone would do their own thing so it didn't matter who else came along.

 

Before you decide whether to keep the trip and keep your distance or dump the trip, I would discuss this with the other couple (if your relationship permits). If you are just casual acquaintances, then never mind, I agree with those who say do what you want.

[Name game]

This happens almost every time I cruise. Someone invites someone else that I don't particularly want to spend much time with. In that group are also people that I do want to spend time with. No one says you will be spending every waking moment with your travel companions. Go with an open mind and enjoy. Did I mention that you will most likely be meeting many other people on the cruise?

[Warmer Climes]

I would go and have fun. I would not feel under any obligation whatsoever to mingle with that large group and I would certainly not plan on doing excursions with them but who knows, they may be a really fun group to do some things with on the ship or just to say "hi" to when you see them on the ship. A large group would suit me more than one couple that I would feel I HAD to hang out with.

 

Barb

[Amlee]

Go! Don't let a few hurdles stop you from going. You aren't going to see these people as much as you think. If you don't want to have dinner with them change your times. Blame it on the cruise line, if need be.

 

Book your excurisons on your own. If ask what you are planning, lie to the beat of we haven't decided. But with that you might or might not end up on the same one with them.

 

But also, be open to meeting new people. You might not know it now, but one of these couples could end up being great friends with you.

 

I went on a cruise with my best friend. When we got off the the plane afterward, we didn't talk again. You never truly know someone until you cruise with them!

[bububr]

First off a ship is huge and you do as much with or without them that you want.

 

Second, volunteer to be the coordinator ( only if you have eight cabins ), you will recieve one cabin fare for free which you could take that EXTRA money you have now for excursions, shopping, etc...

 

Third, make lemons out of lemonade. I've met some pretty wonderful people on ships, even neighbors....What if these people were on the ship anyway? would that ruin your trip? I doubt it.

 

Look into #2 I think its a very good suggestion

 

Dave:eek:

[RetireeWannabee]

Go anyway.

 

There will be people in the group that you enjoy. So there may be a few you don't care for - maybe they turn into more enjoyable people on a cruise ship?!! If not, doesn't matter - you can do as you please and not be bound by anyone elses expectations.

 

You do not have to make all the plans for everyone - make the plans for yourselves and pick and choose who you might ask to accompany you on excursions. I don't think that's rude or inconsiderate. Others may feel differently.

 

Love the idea of being Group Coordinator!!! Saving $$ could salvage some of the 'ill will' and expand your excursion budget.

 

Grin and bear it - you chose this cruise to start with so go and have fun.

[SillySoul]

:) I would think it is obvious that they don't want to spend all of their time with the two of you or they would not have invited all of these other people. You can choose to eat dinner with them or not. It could be a lot of fun to all get together at dinner as a larger group to see what everyone else did all day or you can choose to eat at a table for two and have romantic, private dinners alone and just "run into" each other here and there. It was not necessarily rude as they are paying their own way. It would be a little different if the 4 of you had sat down together and chosen the cruise line, the cruise, the dates, the staterooms etc. all together. Then the cruise would truly belong to the 4 of you. But my understanding is that the 2 of you did all of the choosing and then invited them to join you and they had no say in any of the details. So they probably felt more like tag a longs anyway. Personally I think it would be rude if you canceled after inviting others to join you, but that is your choice. I would go, dine alone or with them - your choice. But I would not fell obligated to do everything with everyone. Maybe some of them will want to do things together with you. My guess is that you will all have a great time if you just take a step back, relax and enjoy! Don't worry who is going and who is not. YOU are going and you will have as good a time as you let yourself!

 

There are a LOT of people on a cruise ship that P*** the H*** out of me, but I am learning to ignore them and not let them ruin my cruise. Just pretend you do not know some of those other people and ENJOY!

You misunderstood. The four of us did sit down together and made all the arrangments together. It was understood that it would be only the four of us, not it turned out to be seventeen people! Our reservations are linked together as well.

[anifaniks]

You misunderstood. The four of us did sit down together and made all the arrangments together. It was understood that it would be only the four of us, not it turned out to be seventeen people! Our reservations are linked together as well.

 

This is a most curious situation!

 

You don't think the couple you invited decided to make themselves "group leaders" and get a discount by inviting a lot of others along?

 

The reason I mention this . . . my Aunt once asked DH and me to go on a cruise w/ them . . . there was correspondence back and forth . . . I was very touched that my Aunt wanted to spend time w/ me . . . and then only b/c of a discussion w/ another cousin . . . did I find out my Aunt had been asking other family members (as well as her own friends and bridge partners) to go on that same cruise . . . never explaining that it was a group booking . . . and she was the group leader and getting her freebies b/c of the group bookings. Everyone was quite taken back b/c it seemed such a ruse, whereas if Auntie had just told us she was booking a group cruise - no one would have thought anything about it. As it turned out, we all felt rather "used and abused" that she would surreptitiously "invite" us when the only reason was to get her discount/freebies.

 

So please excuse my curiosity . . . but just had to ask!!!!!

 

And I have to agree w/ the earlier poster . . . seems to me if the couple you invited had really seen this as an opportunity to spend some one-on-one time w/ you and your DH, they would never have invited a lot of other people along. Or perhaps they think "the more the merrier" . . .

 

One thing about a ship . . . as others have stated, it is big and lots of variety and no reason to have to be stuck w/ any group of people.

 

At least this is not in your home, but rather on a cruise ship. We once invited out-of-town relatives to spend a long weekend w/ us at Thanksgiving, and to our horror, they brought other relatives with them. We were informed one hour b/f their arrival that instead of two people, we were going to be bombarded w/ 8 people. They thought they would "surprise" us. :eek:

[vacation fool]

IMHO, I think it was very rude of your friends to do this without discussing it first. This is why the older i get, the less i tell others about my plans so it does not snowball. If these were good friends then i think it was thoughtless and tacky to invite all of these other people without talking about it with you first. A similiar thing happenned to me with my inlaws. My DH and I were talking about going on a fall foliage tour in Oct and before we knew it all of a sudden "it became something they always wanted to do too" even though no one in the family had ever heard them mention it before. They made their reservations for the exact date that i was thinking about! Needless to say, we did not make our reservation and told them we rethought it and decided to do something more economical! So they are going in a few weeks and we are not.:) It is an emotional issue and even though others are saying you should go, you will meet others, etc it still feels like somehow that your vacation was "stolen from you." Thats how i felt. If it really bothers u then reschedule to another week and tell your friends how u feel or just make up a reason why there is now a conflict with something else that particular week. I would not feel obligated one bit to go on a trip with your friends, whether you initiated it or not, considering they had no hesitation to do what they did! Good luck whatever you decide.

[love2vacation]

Personally I would still go and make the best of it. But that's just the way I am.

 

If dining with some of the others really bothers you, you might "unlink" the reservations. I didn't count up how many people you have going at this point but you might not all fit at the same table anyway, and as others have said it is a big ship...........