Red Wizard

Being a retired Navy guy I wouldn't mind a TA at all. I have plenty of vacation time at my current job, and can take the time off. Sign me up!

Tortola

 

We arrived in port early. My friend, her mother and her sister were all getting off the boat and going to Jost Van Dyke with NCL. I had told her that if we bombed at winging it in St. Thomas, we would join them at JVD, but we had such a good day, we were going to wing it again.

 

 

As with St. Thomas, it is easy to get off of the boat and the pier area is not very large. As with St. Thomas, we left with our beach bag (this time with lots of sun screen in it), snorkels, mask and a bit of cash.

In Tortola, as you leave the pier area and follow the signs for Taxi, you come across people with shirts that say Taxi Dispatcher on them. I found one and said we wanted to go to a beach where we could relax and do a bit of snorkeling. He said get in that bus over there…and we did.

 

 

This time our taxi was a closed van, which was, according to our driver Akim 4 days old. There was a couple in the van, and then a family of eight. Since the bus held “14” including the driver, we all fit, but it was tight. Akim pulls out of town and tells us a little bit about Tortola as we drive. We see the school he went to, and some Turtle Doves, the national bird and name sake of the island. And then we start to climb a mountain…imagine sitting in van on roads so steep you feel like your knees are coming up over your head. We get to the top and stop to take a few pictures of our teeny tiny little ship way way way down there. And then we start to go down hill on roads even steeper. The roads down had hair pin turns but the inside lane of those turns was almost vertical.

 

 

Anyway, we arrive after a wonderfully exciting thrill ride,and make plans with Akim to be picked back up at about 1:00 pm. All aboard is 2:30, and we want a little bit of time to shop in town when we get back. Cost for the ride was 8.00 per person, $20.00 for both with tip.

 

 

We walk the few steps to the beach, and someone asks us if we want chairs, we do, but we also want an umbrella, which he does not have,however, he sets up our chairs under a small tree on the beach. $5.00 per chair. Just as we get our chairs set up, it starts to sprinkle. Sad face. Buy, hey, we are here to snorkel, and you can do that in the rain, so we put our beach bag under a towel under the tree, and head out to sea.

 

 

Snorkeling did not disappoint. Coral was a bit better here than at St.Thomas, and the variety of fish was outstanding. The whole time we were snorkeling, we could feel the rain on our backs. But hey, it wasn’t sunburn, so that’s an improvement. It wasn’t raining hard enough to disturb our view of the fish. So we snorkeled and we snorkeled and we snorkeled. But it rained, and it rained, and it rained.

 

 

So, we finally decide, looking at the completely overcast skies that it wasn’t going to just blow over. We never got to enjoy relaxing on the beach in our rented chairs, but we did have a great time snorkeling, so let’s see if we can get a ride back early. Dear niece gets out to go see what she can find out, and I snorkel just a little bit longer. She finds out the other couple we came with already left, and the family of 8 is up in the little bar waiting for Akim who is due back any time. So, I get out of the water and head back to our soggy little beach bag. Just as we start to head up to the bar area to seek shelter, the gentle rain that had been dancing on our backs turned into a torrential downpour.

 

 

We manage to squeeze in under the roof of the little bar,along with everyone else who was at the beach that day. Everyone. And while we stand there it rains and rains and rains. Finally, Akim and his trusty van pulls up,but he doesn’t get out. Dear niece takes the hit for all of us and goes out into the storm to see if he is ready to take us back. He is, and she waves me and the family of 8 to come out of the shelter and head down to the van. I can’t even describe how hard it is raining at this point. As we are snaking our way there, another family gets on the van before we do. And, there is a group of travelers who never got out of the van. Akim insists that the 10 of us will fit in with the 7 of them already in there, but there is noway. We stand out in the rain incomplete confusion while we figure out what to do. The family of 4, that had not ridden to the beach with Akim eventually get back out of the van, and the 10 of us, soggy and sandy messes get in. One of the girls in the large family has to sit on someone’s lap, but we do all fit in.

 

 

Now that we are in and safe, do we wait for the rain to stop a bit before we head out? Of course not,Akim backs up, turns around, and starts to head back up the mountain. Half the road is a waterfall of brown water cascading down…roads that shoot off to the sides are cascades of debris-strewn water. There is no way in heck we should have been driving in those conditions. Half way up the mountain, we come across a red semi-open taxi that was not able to make it up the hill…too much weight, too little traction. One of the other girls in the large family is crying, certain we are going to die. Dear niece is not disagreeing with her. We do make it to the top of the mountain, and as we had back down, the deluge becomes a gentle rain again. By the time we get back to town, the rain is over. I don’t know if it was still raining on the other side of the island, but we definitely had a once in a lifetime drive up that mountain.

 

 

Back in town, we stumble out of the van, still wet. My beach towel weighs about 900 pounds. My beach cover up sags down and drips quietly onto the street as we stop to pay Akim. My niece tips him 12.00 (30.00 for the ride back) because she is so happy we arrived alive.

 

 

We are wet and gross, so we debate going back on the ship toget rid of all our wet stuff or doing the little bit of shopping we want to do. We decide to try to do the shopping. The sun comes out, the temperature shoots up to about 112 degrees, and we walk the block or two to Pusser’s to get a bottle of rum and to Sunny Carribe to get some spices. The great thing about getting the rum first is they gave me a large plastic bag so I could put my sopping wet towels in it.

 

 

All our purchases made, we start to walk back to the ship. We passed a family who looked at us and asked “Oh, is there a beach right nearby?” to which we said “No, we were just that wet.”

 

 

We were moored right across from a Disney ship, but they didn’t have the amenities that we did when we got back. Eucalyptus wash clothes, punch or water, and comfy chairs to sit on if you need a break.

 

 

We struggle back on board, ask if should take our rum out of the bag before it goes through the scanner (no) and turn our rum into the beverage police just past the scanners. I fill out the little slip and am promised my rum will be delivered tome the last night of the cruise.

 

Next up: 80s night, show comparisons, and another day at sea. But it will be a few days before I get back to this. And it will probably be a couple of days, I'll be sans computer over the weekend, and trying to type this on my phone is beyond this middle-age girls poor vision and tiny-touch-key-pad skills.

I've heard several stories of the hair raising road in Tortola. I might need a Valium before I leave the boat.

St. Thomas

 

Woke up this morning to a gorgeous day already in port. Went out on our balcony to take pictures, and my camera lens steamed up so fast all my pictures look like I was in Portland. It was 8:00 am and hot and humid already.

 

My friend and her sister had scheduled through NCL to take a zip line excursion. My niece and myself were going to wing it.

We all had breakfast together at Savor (or Taste). I had the eggs Benedict which did not disappoint. Niece had the biscuit and gravy, which was literally a biscuit. Not biscuits, which did disappoint. Friends mom had an omelet and prune compote (yes, for that). Friend and her sister both had the bagel with salmon, which looked lovely. Neice and I asked if we could get two chocolate croissants so we wouldn't have to fight over the one in the pastry basket, so they brought us a basket full of chocolate croissants. We could hear all the announcements about being cleared for disembarking, so we pushed ourselves away from the table (for God's sake, put the fork down!) and headed back up to our room. We were facing the port, so we looked out and saw all the people scurrying off down below.

 

We packed a beach bag: towels from the ship, our snorkels and masks, my water proof camera and our sun screen and off we went on our adventure.

 

 

My niece asked me as we walked on the dock “Where are we going again?” and I said “I don’t know.” She said “What do you mean?” I said “I think we can just figure it out.” She looked at me like I was an alien being in the body of her beloved aunt, and in some sense I was. Miss plan plan plan was just going to wing it. At the end of the pier (which was just at the front of the boat, not a long walk at all) there was a sign that pointed to where the taxis were. At the end of the block, there was a man who looked like he might know what was going on. As we walked up, he said “Where are you going?” and we said “We don’t know, some place we can sit on a beach and snorkel” and he said “Get on that bus over there.” And we did. Just like that. My niece asked me “Where are we going?” again. And I said “Where this bus goes.” She said “How do you know it is going in the right place?” and I said “Any place here is the right place, we’ll figure it out.”

 

 

The “bus” was one of the infamous open-air taxis, which are quite a bit higher off the ground than my Corolla and a bit challenging to get into, but we managed. The bus started to fill up, and we were joined on our bench seat by a mother with two young sons,one maybe 2 or 3 in her lap, and another maybe 5 or 6 who sat next to her. So mom is trying to hold onto her son and not fall out of this open air contraption. The little boy has a small transformer toy (Megatron) clutched in one hand and a small T-Rex in the other, all ready to do battles on the beach. The bus stops at a stop light, and just as the light turns green, the boy drops his T-Rex and it falls out onto the street. We all look back at it as we pull away. The little boy looks at his mom, who has to tell him it is gone now. And then we could just watch the awful truth sink into his little head. He just collapsed. And his poor older brother was saying “Let me put Megatron away in the bag so he doesn’t fall out” “Don’t let go of Megatron”. And the poor mom is trying to console her crying child just as the bus starts to go up down over around up these terribly steep roads. She is on the cliff side as we go up hill, practically dodging vegetation that is trying to creep into the cab as we huddle close to one side to avoid oncoming traffic.

 

In retrospect, if I had any idea what that ride would be like, as soon as she boarded the bus I would have had her switch places with us. She and I were both worried she was going to topple out at any moment. So,anyone else: if you are not able to hold on tight with both hands, don’t sit on the outside.

 

 

After about a half hour of hair raising driving, we pulled into a gas station, and the driver told us that those of us who wanted to get off to take the ferry should get off here. OK, hm. Here is a problem. I don’t know if I am supposed to get off and take a ferry somewhere, because I don’t know where I am going. I ask the family where they are going, and they said a beach (doy!), so I figure we’ll stay on the ferry and end up at a beach. Maybe it will be good for snorkeling maybe not. The mom and her sons move to the bench behind us and way away from the open side, and we head off again.

 

 

Just a few more minutes, and we are there! Where? Coki Beach! Woot woot! We pay our driver (oh, yeah, we had no idea how much the ride would cost, either, but it was $10.00 pp, $25.00 with tip)and he says we need to wait by the bus for our “guide”. Our guide is Dena, who will help us do whatever we need to do and will arrange for a taxi when we are done. Dena is one of the many women who work the beach area in a fairly competitive fashion, but she is also remarkably efficient. “You want chairs? Umbrella?” Yes, we say. So she flags down one of the chair/umbrella men and he sets us up with two chairs ($5.00 pp) and an umbrella ($10.00). Dena asks us if we want anything to eat or drink, but we don’t yet, so she says she’ll check back with us.

 

 

We are hot, so we spray each other down with sun tan lotion and I head into the water to see if we are going to have any luck snorkeling. I am pretty sure the taxi guy was right, because there were a LOT of snorkels in the water already. Even without my mask just above the sand not near the rocks at all there are all sorts of fish: little swordfish looking fish, swarms of really small fish…I am going to love it here.

 

 

I head back up, get my mask and snorkel and my under water camera and go back in. So many fish…so wonderful…especially over by the rocks. Snorkeling is the “sport” made for fluffy girls like me: I float for days. With my mask and snorkel on, I don’t even have to exert myself to keep my face out of water, so it is like someone invented a sport that is as hard as laying face down in a bed. I stay in for about an hour and go back and sit in the quiet shade of our umbrella. Dena comes and sees if we are ready for a rum punch (we are). And, while we are waiting for that to come,we see a woman carrying a basket of bread somethings offering to sell them on the beach. Wow…does that look good.

 

 

She makes it over to our chair and we ask what she has and she says Empenadas. We don’t even ask what is in them, we just get out some money and enjoy. She is from Simply Delicious, one of the food vendors on the beach, she has been in St. Thomas for 20 years, but was in NY before that. She puts peace, love and blessings in everything she makes. I could have eaten 4 of those empenadas, a $5.00 a piece they were a bargain. Oh, and we figured out by eating them they were filled with seasoned beef.

 

 

A few chickens pecked in the sand around our chairs, and the longer we were there, the more people who came, but it was never really crowded. But there were definitely more people than chickens. The life guard was a retired postal worker who spent as much time trying to keep the beach clean as he did guarding lives. His stance in his lifeguard stand was a little more relaxed (almost sleeping?) than what I am used to, but he did tell us he promised us we would not drown while he was on duty.

 

 

I kept going back in to see all my fish. Highlight of the day was when a small shark came close enough for me to get a picture. I have never been that close to a shark in the wild before. It was very very fast…so even the picture I got shows him half leaving the frame. The fish are very very plentiful. The stores sell dog treats for people to bring in the water to feed the fish, and some people brought fruit loops from the ship. I didn't have any food, and I was still surrounded by fish. They even got between me and my view finder when I was trying to take pictures of fish. You ever hear a startled scream through a snorkel? Well you would have if you were with me.

 

A few vendors came by and offered to sell us jewelry or scarves, but they were by no means pesky. We had a slight issue when Dena came to bring my niece a rum punch, and some women in a neighboring chair asked Dena to get them some too. Well….Christina was the woman who was “helping” them, and she kind of scolded my niece and the other woman for going around her. So it was a little awkward.

 

 

At some point, it rained, but our umbrella kept us comfortable…and a good portion of us dry. Sometimes it was sunny, sometimes it was cloudy. But the water was always clear and the visibility good.

 

 

We asked Dena to get us Jerk Chicken, Conch Fritters and Beans and Rice from Simply Delicious, which she did. There is no doubt in my mind that she surcharged the food and drinks a bit…if we would have gotten up out of our chairs and walked to the buildings just behind us on the beach we could have done it a bit cheaper, but there was something so wonderfully decadent about having stuff brought to you on the beach. We cashed out after our food (3 rum punch $7.00 each, $15 for jerk chicken with beans and rice, $9.00 for the conch fritters, $2 for a really cold bottle of water, $55.00 with tip). We packed back up our stuff and asked Dena to get us a cab, which really was her just telling us to go up there and tell someone we need a cab.

 

 

Cab ride back up and over the mountain was just as hair raising as it was on the way there. We stopped at Sapphire Beach to pick up a few more passengers, and then were brought back to port. Ride home was$9.00 per person, $22.00 with tip.

 

 

All told: $127 for the two of us. And, except for getting more empanadas, I wouldn’t change a thing. If I was a starving college student, I could skip the chairs (not the umbrella...shade and rain protection are a must) and the food and drinks from Dena and cut that price in half.

 

 

We really didn’t want to shop for anything close to the port, so we just walked back, stopping to listen to the school steel drum band for a few minutes. We get back to the entrance of the port, and we are behind someone who didn’t get the message about bringing photo id onshore. We got out our drivers licenses and our room keys, and waited our turn in line while the person in front of us tried to explain why they shouldn’t need to show ID here when they didn’t need to any of the other ports they had been too. Anyway, they finally got pulled aside because the gate guard would need to make a call, so we did eventually get to pass through the gates.

 

 

By the time I was walking back to my room, I started to feel with certainty that one coat of sunscreen and four hours face down in the water were not a good mix. A cool shower in our stateroom, a dose of Aloe Vera, a few Tylenol a pledge never to make that mistake again, and I was ready to hit the ship for a little night life (yeah, I will totally break that pledge).

 

 

We make sure my friend and her sister got back on the boat,they did: they loved their zip line excursion. My friend and her crew have reservations for Moderno, so my niece and I hit the Manhattan again. This time, our table is not anywhere near the dance floor (we couldn’t even hear the musical entertainment) but the food was good. We make the rounds visiting some of our favorite bartenders, and try to luck out again at Howling at the Moon, but this time, seats are more scarce (we are a little earlier this time than the other time...maybe that is it). Singing along is fun…but more fun sitting down than standing up.

We catch some of the Celebrity Dance Off in the Atrium,which was very entertaining, especially the cutaways to the losers in the loser lounge.

 

Finally, 11:00 pm arrives, and we can head to the theatre for the comedy show. We went early to get good seats, but it never really did get very crowded, and I was surprised. It was a pretty good performance, especially by the host, Mike Burton and the last comic Gary Caouette. Not that Warren B. Hall wasn’t funny, he just wasn’t as funny.

 

 

We go up to Spice H2O to close out our night, but we danced in our chairs a bit more than we did on the floor while we sipped our vodka cranberries. A note here on the “watered down” drinks people complain about. The first time we got Vodka Cranberries, they were poured so strong, the cranberry was like vermouth in a dry martini. They were a shade of pink so light Crayola doesn’t make that crayon. I had to start to order a vodka cranberry and a half a glass of cranberry so I could dilute it. We never ever felt like our drinks were substandard. Even though we didn’t order brand name, our vodka cranberries were made with Grey Goose. During the day, when bars were not as crowded, we indulged in frozen concoctions like mudslides, BBCs, Pain Killers,etc. and never had a bad drink. Mojitos were top notch, and margaritas on the rocks always rule. Dear niece, who has a more refined palate than I do, never complained about a drink. I had one Moscow Mule I thought tasted a bit bitter, but that might have been because I probably did something stupid like follow a pineapple coconut mojito sugar bomb with a less sweet drink. So all you crabby naysayers who get bad drinks need to sail with me and my niece and we will get you the good stuff.

 

Next up: Tortola: which means Turtle Dove, not Turtle. Who knew?

LOL there is always that person who doesn't think the rules apply to them. Thanks for the price list at the beach. I was wondering how much beach chairs were.

I have the drink package and was a little worried I might drink a little "too" much, but from the couple of reviews I've seem looks like a normal weekend to me.

This make me excited. I'll sailing in 2 weeks Thanks Chris!

While we wait to board, how about some social commentary. The first come first served setup for Vibe passes truly brings out the worst in people. Manners kind of go out the window. It's everyone for themselves in that security line. If you so much as take a step in the wrong direction, you'll be suspected of attempting to cut the line. I should know, I almost accused an old lady of it...

 

 

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Is Vibe that Adult only area? I know what it's like to watch people cut the line and have to "deal" with them. They have no conscience about doing it.