JohnGaltny

No. 1 I love you

No. 2 MacDonald wrecked the Doobie Bros.

No. 3 I would offer to join your next cruise and be weird together but nowadays that would get me fired from any job I don't have or even from retirement. ahhh well.

Great job sweetie.

Awesome Report! Going on Empress in May! Hopefully early enough to miss the schools letting out!

Thanks. I'll be curious to see if you experience the same crowds without spring break.

Too funny! Great review, will be on Empress 4/19 for RC's first sail into Cuba.

Wow. That should be interesting.

Thanks for the tales.

Thanks for the thanks.

LOLOL Cruiser Rob.

I never thought of the effect of salt air on contacts. I did however dive into a salt water pool wearing contacts once. THAT did not end well.

Hi, and thanks.

 

We were on the 3/4/17 Spring Break/Hang Over the Side

for Selfie Pics/Thong Abuse/Don't Care--We Won't See

These People Again Cruise.

 

Greg London show was awesome!

 

Hotel Director opened Royal Crown Lounge for

nightly diamond event, 5-8:30PM....apologized

over and over for the 'breakers manners'....

 

It was an interesting cruise to say the least.

Dodging the puke piles in the halls, and squeezing

past the 24 hr. door guards (guarding cabins of those

breakers who hung over the side to take Selfie pics).

 

We are going back on Empress at end of April.

Looks like we will have the ship to ourselves this

time.

 

Moving on!

 

Buying a Selfie Camera Stick.

 

:cool::cool:

I missed the stuff you are talking about but I won't argue.

Hi John,

 

Wow, I so enjoyed reading this review and was laughing out loud at times (at my desk at work)!! My husband and I have been on 5 Princess cruises and on this coming Monday, we too will be sailing on the Empress. We booked it mainly because of the price (having to pay 2 college loans for the next 10 years has set us back a bit), and our flights were pretty good too. We DO fly into Miami though, haha.. I will be wary of cab drivers and money mongers there...

 

We are celebrating me turning 60 and hoping that we have better luck getting drinks at the bars than you did. We won't be with Spring Breakers, so that's one plus I guess.

 

I'm prepared for the small ocean view cabin and showers and was happy to hear about all of the electrical sockets.. Funny how that was an interesting tidbit of info to me. I know that irons are taboo, but I am planning on bringing a steamer with me on the ship.

 

We will be sailing to Cozumel and Cocoa Cay as well. I really just want some beach and R & R to look forward to.

 

Thanks again for such an enjoyable review.. I am looking forward to our cruise and trying to go into it with an open mind.

 

All the best!

 

Patti :cool:

Thanks PMCK. Glad you enjoyed it or even found is useful.

Just did one. Here's the review: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2472117

John, excellent review. I was happy to read that you did not have a barf bag strapped to your face, except for your limited visits to the MDR.

 

I still need to finish my review but I'd much rather read yours. That's good time management IMHO.:)

A&L, I didn't use the bags but I did remember the definitions of Leeward (the side to throw up on) and Windward (the side not to).

Thanks for the review - I needed it. After a BS week at work I needed to hear someone speak common sense.

Thanks Catfish.

Not sure if I make sense but I sure am "common".

Wait.......it was supposed to make sense?!?!!?!

 

A great read while I wait for my plane in Phoenix. ;). :D

Glad to help.

Of course, if we all put that Adventure adventure, you must be there next year.

John, excellent review. I was happy to read that you did not have a barf bag strapped to your face, except for your limited visits to the MDR.

 

I still need to finish my review but I'd much rather read yours. That's good time management IMHO.:)

Thanks A&L. I follow you too so get working.

I managed to stay just this side of Technicolor yawn this trip. Not sure if it was the Scopolamine or the Jack Daniels.

Loved your review. Good information tucked in with the humor. My first cruise, in 1993 was on the Nortic Empress. We knew nothing about cruising and had rough seas, but thought it was the prettiest ship ever. I had thought I would like to go on Empress Of The Seas again, but as I read reviews, I really don't. I'll be looking for more of your reviews.

Thanks Nana, glad you enjoyed the fun AND the warnings.

My other reviews are in my signature if you get bored or have insomnia.

LOL what a hilarious review! Loved it! :D

Thanks Mama. Glad yhou enjoyed it.

We cruised on NCL several years ago, and the food was so bad in the MDR that I was convinced they were trying to push guests into specialty restaurants. Sorry to hear that Royal is headed the same direction. We are on the Oasis in May after taking a break from Royal for a few years. Hope I won't be sorry I'm giving them another chance. Loved your review.

Sadly true Cleophus. I used to rave about the food in the MDR but the last two cruises have been reall downhill.

I loved your review!

Random (conspiracy theory) thought: Is the understaffing due to the impending repurpose of Empress (Tampa to Cuba)?

Thanks Big Red. Your theory is as good as any.

Good to know that I still got it although I turn 42 while on Empress. What did you think of the Cruise Director and the activities on board?

 

 

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The activities were pretty standard stuff. Quest, bingo, trivia etc. only real problem was getting a seat if it was held in a bar venue.

I almost never even know who the CD is so I'm not much help there.

Ok so my iPad is now covered in spit and snot. This seems to happen every time I read a JohnGaltny review. Well done sir! That was phenomenal.

 

I hope you saw that the Adventure of the Seas (Explorer twin) is coming to Cape Liberty for the Summer of 2018.

Adventure out of Bayonne? We should talk to Sailor, OT and Rick. We must also invite Wolf.

Imagine the level of weird on that one.

Thanks for your review JohnGaltny. I leave on Empress next week 3/23, it is sold out so I expect a "spring break" full house also.

 

 

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Thanks Lisette.

From your picture, you belong on a spring breaker way more than I do.

OF course not. I'd be curious why though?

My first look at a Rick review (York said the password is "Dementia").

I saw more weird references and crazy stuff in the first page than in one of my entire reviews. HMMM. I may be stealing from you in the future.

OK York, I lied and read this too.

You are almost as funny sober as when not. ;p Great review.

Here ya go York. RE: the Question I asked, in your Periscope Eariler. [emoji6][emoji106]

 

Alpha, Alpha, Alpha is the code for Medical Emergency aboard Royal Caribbean ships.

 

Bravo, Bravo, Bravo, used by many cruise lines to alert crew to a fire or other serious incident on board without alarming passengers.

 

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie is the code for a security threat aboard Royal Caribbean ships.

 

Delta, Delta, Delta is the code for a possible bio-hazard among some cruise lines.

 

Echo, Echo, Echo is the code for a possible collision with another ship or the shore aboard Royal Caribbean ships. On board some cruise lines this means danger of high winds while at port. It alerts the crew responsible for the gangway, thrusters etc... to get into position and be ready for new maneuvers.

 

Oscar, Oscar, Oscar is the code for Man Overboard aboard Royal Caribbean ships.

 

Zulu, Zulu, Zulu is the code for a fight aboard most cruise lines.

 

AND a video example, of Echo Echo Echo, being used.

 

 

 

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and *&^&% dammit is code for "A 75 year old woman heard somebody shout BINGO.

Thanks everyone.

Freddy, I would be seriously honked off if they skipped the Conch Republic.

As always when I try to write these reviews before I get back on my meds, I forget things.

As another example of this cruise in paradox land, I should have mentioned that Empress has one of those incredibly intrusive big screen annoyances above the pool. On Embark day this is used for a continuous stream of telemarketing on every upsell aboard. It's like those people who congratulate you on the vacation you won or threaten you with an IRS lawsuit had hacked your skype number. On every other day, in between RCI ads, it shows a never ending loop of the same "cute" animal videos of the type I try to avoid on Facebook.

On the other hand, that same screen at night offers movies and we actually sat there and watched them on two nights. Welll, to be honest, the others did. By that time I was usually pretty bleary eyed. I blame my contact lenses.

Also, Embark day in the WJ involved my getting a lot of practice saying "Nyet, spacebo" to all sorts of wonderful offers to charge me more money for meals I had already paid for. Honestly, I wasn't sure if we had skipped the ship and gone directly to the Plaza in Cozumel. Thankfully, this was only a one day phenomenon.

It just dawned on me that the Majesty is JohnGaltny's favorite ship. Ugh. What a wasted opportunity to meet one of my four favorite hilarious reviewers (SailorJack, TheDougOut, maureencruiser being the others).

 

At least I get to meet Maureen on the Harmony in September.

AHEM, you were invited on my recent Empress cruise in case you wanted to get REALLY small.

That's 47 pages of Yorkvillian today. I'll save Anthem for tomorrow.

Thank you. I love the Navigator and the Voyager class a lot but I think the Norwegian Escape is my favorite ship right now.

 

We're hoping to go back on the Escape next summer when she is in New York. That is just a perfect cruise for me. My favorite ship, my favorite port (Bermuda), 3 days at my favorite beach (Horseshoe Bay) AND I don't have to fly or get a hotel. Just perfect for me.

Just read all 37 pages York. Another nice job.

If I can convince the wife to do 3 days in Bermuda, we just might join you next summer. I am giving you plenty of time to cancel.

Yet another Sailor Jack classic.

I really resent that I will never be more than the third best (if that) writer on CC as long as you are the first two.;p

I have a new one in the RCI board if it interests you.

i don't know how this happened but there are two different threads for this review. Administration, want to combine this with the other one?

Hey all, this is a duplicate thread for no reason known to man.

The full review is in the other thread.

Hope to see you there.

Thanks. Glad you could make some sense out of it.