ldisch

1 hour ago, Jim Avery said:

So you have your limits too..  Just arguing which level of social malfeasance is acceptable.

If someone came in a Speedo and bow tie, I would be bemused by the choice but I wouldn’t let it ruin my night. 
In a world of entitled people, enforcing rules of any kind becomes more and more difficult. Given the unpredictable reaction to questioning clothing choices, most people opt for live and let live. Such are the times we are in.

I have a sense of what is appropriate, but other people, for reasons unknown to me, may show up in something that might be considered inappropriate (or perhaps stated to be such). The person who arrives underdressed might have made a mistake. Grace is sadly lacking in our world. 
If they are intentionally choosing to thumb their nose at norms, then they are crass, and  are immune from embarrassment.

1 hour ago, papaflamingo said:

Why?  Should people simply look the other way when someone chooses to intentionally disregard rules or laws?  No one is talking about yelling out in the middle of the crowded dining room, but discretely mentioning it to management.  Would that not be good manners?  

As for a speedo, I would, at least wear a bow tie with it on formal night. 😜

 

Neither wealth nor poverty is a determinant of a person’s character. 
Good manners would suggest that one abides by the recommended dress code. Good manners would also dictate that you try to be gracious to those who might not choose to comply for whatever reason. A Speedo at dinner, however, might be a bit much.😄