DesertSkies120

I am glad that JD posted all those links. Another issue with jetskis is "carbon footprint", something that many people are more conscious of these days. Dr Poole made this comparison: His boat carries about 15 to 20 people using a single engine (an engine that runs steadily or idles slowly, minimizing noise disturbance). Jetskis carry just two people per engine. To carry 15 people would require 8 jetskis and thus 8 engines. A significantly greater carbon footprint. I'd even bet that the fuel consumption (gallons per hour) is less with Dr Poole's one boat than it is for 8 jetskis.

Brandibak, you do not seem to have gotten a really specific answer to your jetski question, so I am going to take a stab at it.

First, a couple of questions for you: Why are you considering a jetski tour? Is it because you just particularly like jetskis? Or because you think it would be a good way to tour the island from offshore? Do you have much experience with jetskis?

I did the jetski of Bora Bora offered through PG. I had no real previous experience on a jetski, though I have ridden motorcycles for 20 years. NOT the same, it turns out! I found that I spent so much time concentrating on actually steering the jetski that I saw little of the island itself. As I said in my review of my cruise, I saw mostly the water in front of me, not the island. And though the guys who guided the tour spoke good English, there was no "guiding" to be done since there was no talking between jetskis while in motion. Any noteworthy sights that we flew past went unremarked upon, so we knew nothing about what we were (or were not) seeing.

I saw several jetski tours on the lagoon in Moorea. The lagoon there was somewhat smoother (always weather dependent). We also saw at least one jetski tour that went outside the lagoon into the open ocean to chase whales (Dr Poole went ballistic, and rightly so).

In Huahine, we did an independent all-day version of Marc's Motu Picnic tour. I highly recommend this, far more than any jetski tour in Huahine. The second half of the Motu Picnic tour was by motorized outrigger, so we got a really good view of the island from the water. And we made several stops, including at a shark feeding. The first half of the tour, a land portion, was also great fun. For the price, you will get far more bang for your buck in Huahine doing the Motu Picnic Tour.

Having done the jetski tour in Bora Bora, I would not do a jetski tour again, period. Too costly on a dollars per minute basis, too little "seeing" and too much "driving", and I have been persuaded that it is environmentally too disruptive.

DIVING WITH PAUL GAUGUIN

I am double-posting this topic in a thread separate from this more-general review, in part because diving is a specialized activity in which only a minority of PG passengers participate, and in part because the PG website is so sketchy on this particular subject.

I am a novice diver, having gotten my PADI certification in June 2013. I have had several dives in the Grenadines (Bequia, Tobago Cays, Union Island), as well as some diving 40 years ago when I lived in the Virgin Islands as a teenager. And those early years in the Caribbean definitely shaped how I see the underwater world. I remember Buck Island and St John’s Island (especially Trunk Bay) 40 yeara ago when the reefs were still healthy and colorful, and the fish abundant. But I did not know what to expect of French Polynesia. What I found there was amazing. And the diving offered through PG is probably the best way to dive in FP.

PG has a really first class setup, as far as I am concerned. It is true “concierge diving”, with almost everything handled for you. Laurent, Clement, Alexandre, and Thomas do all the equipment assembly and checks, the heavy lifting, and the post-dive disassembly. When you arrive at the ship’s drop-down marina for your dive, you will find a pre-loaded weight belt and the BCD with the full tank already attached. A tape label on top of the tank identifies the correct user. When it is time to head off to the dive site, PG personnel load everything in the dive boat. Nothing could be easier. They even rinse your wetsuit post-dive and store it for you throughout the cruise. In Rangiroa and Fakarava, we utilized a local provider, TopDive, and they were just as good as the PG staff, in every respect. I could not have been happier with the dive personnel.

And they are amazingly patient. No small thing when you consider the vast variety of skill levels, attitudes, personalities, and languages that they have to deal with every day. We had three people who were doing the open water portion of their PADI certification, as well as a couple of guys who had logged literally hundreds of dives each. Some folks borrowed everything from PG, while others arrived with their personal BCDs, regulators, and dive computers in hand. Most of the passenger-divers spoke English, though a handful were French-only. Most of the divers were very humble about their vast experience and went out of their way to make us novices feel comfortable, but one or two seemed to feel the need to showboat. Try that, and see what happens! One elderly lady (75-ish?) from California separated from the group immediately upon hitting the water and disappeared. She clearly wanted to go off on her own and do her own thing, solo. When we returned to the dive boat at the end of the dive, Laurent tore her a new one. And quite rightly so! With the reduced visibility at that particular site, no one could see her for at least half the dive. Had she gotten into trouble, she would have been toast. Interestingly, I never saw her dive again. I had to wonder whether it was her choice or PG’s?

But first things first: You can pretty much ignore the PG website when it comes to the topic of diving. The website is woefully inadequate in this respect, and sometimes even inaccurate. Instead, take the first opportunity you have after boarding to obtain a copy of the Diving Booking Form specific to your itinerary. For my trip, Society Islands and Tuamotus, the form offered many more dives than did the website. And the onboard PG dive personnel are able to provide far more detail ... ACCURATE detail ... about the various dives than does the PG website.

For example, for Bora Bora, the website lists Scuba Toopua and describes it in very general terms appropriate to a standard reef dive. Only one sentence, all but lost in the larger paragraph, mentions eagle rays. Yet the primary goal of this dive was specifically to look for eagle rays. Visibility at the site was poor compared to other sites, and small reef life was minimal. Unfortunately, on my dive we spotted only one ray, and that in the last 5 minutes of the dive. I came out of the water feeling let down, not because we had seen only one ray, but because the reef was so totally underwhelming. This was my first dive of the trip, and I became worried that diving in FP had been vastly overrated.

What the PG website does *not* list for Bora Bora is a dive called Scuba Anau, which I did as my second dive in Bora Bora. This dive has the specific goal of observing giant manta rays. The reef is a V-shaped one, and you enter the water near the apex. After going up and over the reef (again, not quite as lively as I expected, but better than Toopua), you descend to a white sand bottom. The object is to hover just above the bottom and watch for mantas entering the open end of the V. Apparently this specific reef formation is a favorite “cleaning station” for mantas, who swim in a circle within the V and close to the reef, allowing smaller fish to come up and nibble at the detritus on the manta’s skin. Within minutes, we began seeing mantas. The largest had about a 12-foot “wingspan”, the smallest about 9 feet. In total, we saw about half a dozen, some of which circled back for a second pass. And if you hide behind the coral, they cannot see you and may “fly” directly over your head at very close range. For my amateur video of this dive, see:

Our next stop was Rangiroa. Three dives were offered: one for the PADI-OW students (“Motu NuhiNuhi”), and two for “experienced” certified divers. No intermediate-level dives were offered. The first “experienced” dive was a single-tank dive outside the lagoon on the open-ocean side of the reef. The second was a 2-tank dive, also outside the reef, but with a drift in through the Passe de Tipatu, where the current is *very* swift. Both dives were supervised by TopDive rather than PG. The PG website describes these dives as “only for active, advanced divers who have a minimum of 50 dives and advanced certification”. Yet despite my lack of 50 dives and no advanced certification, Clement spontaneously suggested at our first meeting that I sign up for the 2-tank drift dive. I am definitely not one to take unnecessary risks, so I was *very* hesitant, especially since there were so many divers who *did* have the necessary certification and experience. I was deeply fearful of becoming what one earlier reviewer called “that guy”, the one who spoils it for everyone else by over-reaching his abilities and bringing an early halt to the dive. Both Laurent and Clement were very sensitive to my concerns. Clement suggested that he monitor me closely on the two dives in Bora Bora (Toopua and Anau) and offer an honest assessment of whether or not I could handle the 2-tank in Rangiroa. I must have been okay in Bora Bora, despite some hesitation in acclimatizing to the underwater experience, since they both said I was capable of doing the 2-tank at Rangiroa. Despite their vote of confidence, I was deeply anxious throughout the day before, and dang-near petrified on the day of, so much so that I almost canceled. (I should qualify this by saying that I am *not* timid by nature. I have rafted through the Grand Canyon over a 7-day period, gone up in hot air balloons and gliders, skied downhill in Colorado, and done all kinds of other risky things. My fear was not in regard to the dive itself as much as it was about being “that guy” and embarrassing myself.)

The dive itself was AMAZING! My particular TopDive dive leader, a local Polynesian, spoke almost no English but was very eloquent with hand gestures and grunts (and I speak a limited amount of French). He did a great job of pointing out the larger fish (black-tipped reef sharks, tuna, barracuda, one hawkbilled sea turtle, a couple of Napoleon wrasses, huge moray eels) by striking a metal rod on his tank to get our attention, then using various hand signals. The reef was very much alive, with some stunning coral formations. And the fish were straight out of a National Geographic documentary! The beginning of the dive was quite leisurely. The reef is really a steeply inclined wall of coral that drops away into an abyss with no visible bottom. Smaller fish populate the wall, and larger ones approach it from the deep. We saw a large number of huge schools of various fish, almost like solid walls of color moving through the water. But as we swam along, we could feel the current beginning to grab at us and to pull us forward ... and sometimes up or down. Then, before we knew it, we were at the mouth of the pass and well into the swift current. With absolutely no effort whatsoever, we were skimming over the reef faster than most adults can sprint. The dive leader kept striking a “Superman in flight” pose for our amusement. We covered several hundred yards in what seemed like mere seconds. It was a huge thrill ride! And Clement was correct: I completed the dive without a single hiccup (more on that later!). I did manage to video almost the entire dive, and it gives you a very good idea of how swift the current really was:

The surface interval was spent on shore at TopDive’s small facility. Hot outdoor showers to rinse off, proper toilets, hot tea and cold water, cookies, and lots of shade. Very nice.

The second dive was much like the first, except we did not repeat the drift (I seem to remember that the tide had changed direction by then).

All in all, Rangiroa was precisely what I had hoped for when imagining diving in French Polynesia.

Next up: Fakarava. This was another instance in which PG personnel more or less pushed some people to test their limits. Only Nitrox was offered, and many of us were not Nitrox certified. No matter, it seemed. Do it anyway, they said. So we did, and I did not notice any real difference. No special briefing was offered, though the experienced divers toting their own dive computers made quite a show before diving of measuring the O2 percentage coming out of the regulator. One of the TopDive dive masters said that TopDive is considering changing to Nitrox-only, since it is safer and reduces the risk of nitrogen-related issues. And again, the TopDive personnel were superb. My dive leader was a French woman in her late 20s who spoke excellent English.

Fakarava was very different from Rangiroa. To being with, we had spinner dolphins all around us before we got in the water, though they shied away once we got wet. And we did the surface interval on the dive boat in the open ocean rather than on shore. The swell was only 1-2 feet, but a couple of the divers still got seasick. Once underwater, it was still different from Rangiroa. The coral in Fakarava is more colorful and far more intricately shaped than in Rangiroa. And the fish-life! Exponentially more abundant and colorful! Far more large fish, too. Lots of black-tipped reef sharks that came much closer than those in Rangiroa, one large manta ray, more Napoleons.

Unfortunately, I had two issues on this dive. My Sony HDR AS-10 video camera, supposedly waterproof to 200 feet, leaked at some point, causing the lithium battery to swiftly corrode and destroy the camera’s electronics (never buy Sony products!). Fortunately, the data card survived, so I was able to save the recordings of the previous dives. But nothing from Fakarava. Just as bad, I suffered a baro-trauma to my right ear while descending on the first dive of the day. Relocating from the 10% humidity of the desert to the 75% of FP had messed up my sinuses (other divers beware!), making it difficult to clear my ears as I descended. Not wanting to be “that guy”, and finding a small ascent unhelpful, I literally forced the issue. Ended up with blood behind my eardrum and a visit to the ship’s doctor that evening. I wisely skipped the second tank and instead stayed on the dive boat and watched the spinner dolphins doing their characteristic spinning breaches.

The next available dives were in Moorea. I had planned to dive “The Ledges”, but obviously had to cancel (full refund given since I saw the ship’s doc). Several of the more experienced divers also canceled, some saying that the reef in Moorea was not very healthy and wanting Fakarava to be the last, best memory. I know of only one of the more enthusiastic divers who dove at Moorea. He apparently enjoyed it well enough, though he has limited dive experience. I believe they saw more turtles on this dive.

Diving with PG, as with probably any dive operator, is limited by the abilities of the individual members of your assigned dive group. PG does an excellent job of grouping divers, putting those of similar experience and ability in the same group and under an appropriate dive leader. Fearful as I was of being “that guy” who set the limit on everyone else’s experience, my fears proved misplaced. Others took up the burden. Obviously, there was the Disappearing Grandma in Bora Bora. But a surprising (to me) number of supposedly experienced divers gulped through their air in record time. In two separate instances, the dive leader struggled to maintain the planned bottom time by putting divers nearly out of air onto the leader’s octopus for as much as ten minutes. For the Fakarava Nitrox dive in particular, we had a bottom time of just 35 minutes. I came up with between 900 and 1000 psi still in my tank, but at least one person was below 500 and another close to it. The first was profusely apologetic, which helped, but still .... Given my earlier anxieties, I had honestly expected that *I* would be the one to run out of air first! Instead, I was pretty consistently among the “slow breathers”.

A few people also had buoyancy issues. You can see some of that in the videos I have posted on YouTube. Some kept bobbing upward, while others crashed into the bottom (you will see Clement use some very vigorous hand signals towards me on the Anau dive after I got so entranced by the mantas that I allowed myself to crash into the reef). The leaders did carry extra weight for parceling out, and were not the least bit hesitant about grabbing people and pulling them back down or adjusting the air in their BCD if the diver could not do that himself. Happily, Anau was my only issue with buoyancy, and that was just pure failure to pay attention on my part.

Quite a few people had equalization issues as well, another thing that appears clearly in the videos. Do not hesitate to ascend slightly at the beginning of the dive to equalize. All of the dive leaders were pretty patient with this. Had I not been in such a hurry myself, I probably could have avoided my own ear problem.

At the end of the cruise, the dive staff hosts a cocktail hour during which everyone receives the dive profiles for their log books and gets the necessary signatures and stamps. Laurent also ran a nice slideshow of photos from previous cruises and dives, pointing out and naming some of the coral and fish that we had seen on our own dives.

One last observation: Diving is a strenuous sport, and will wear you out quickly. Experienced divers know this, but novices may be less aware of the impact daily diving can have on your overall vacation experience. If you dive often during a PG cruise, drink less alcohol and get plenty of rest. Last thing you want is to wear yourself out underwater and be too tired to enjoy the things above water!

DINING AND FOOD ON THE M/S PAUL GAUGUIN

I am double-posting this topic in a thread separate from this more-general review, in part because I am a bit of a “foodie”, and in part because food was one of my main concerns as I approached the planning of a cruise with PG. Food on cruise ships can run the gamut from very good to very, very bad, and once on board there are not a lot of alternatives if the food is bad. My own previous cruise experience has been with Cunard, mostly transatlantic (more than a dozen times), and the food has usually been very, very good. But we all know that excellent food starts with excellent ingredients, and Cunard has ready access to the best provisioning resources at its New York and Southampton ports. Paul Gauguin, on the other hand, has some serious logistical challenges for provisioning, since their home port is Papeete, Tahiti, well removed from any major landmass.

For example: There is no fresh milk available in French Polynesia. My tour through the local grocery store confirmed that you simply cannot buy a bottle of cold, fresh milk. That may sound like “no biggie”, since many adults do not drink milk by the glass. But what about milk for your morning bowl of cereal? For cooking? Cream for your coffee? Whipped cream for desserts? The only liquid dairy products (milk, cream) available in French Polynesia are all “Ultra Heat Treated”, or “UHT”. The treatment process destroys all of the micro-organisms normally found in fresh milk, so that the product can be packaged in flat-sided boxes (like juice and wine boxes) and stored at room temperature for up to 18 months. This allows for time-consuming shipment by ocean-going vessels from the nearest land mass (US, New Zealand, Australia) to FP. The drawback is that UHT milk is utterly unpalatable as a straight drinking beverage. It even tastes bad over cereal. Whipped cream made with UHT cream is likewise ... well, just plain nasty.

Similarly, there is no commercial-scale meat production in French Polynesia. So how do they get fresh red meat (beef, lamb)? They do not. Instead, meat is shipped in by sea, frozen solid and vacuum packed, with the beef coming from the US and the lamb from New Zealand. So the steak or lamb chop you have on board may have been heavily processed and frozen solid for 2 or 3 weeks, minimum, before it reaches the table in L’Etoile or La Verandah. And that is perhaps the reason way I heard a number of complaints about the non-fish main dishes in the evenings ... the meat is not of the freshest and best quality owing to restrictions imposed by the logistics of provisioning.

On the “plus side”, PG has ready access to some of the tastiest tropical fruits imaginable, all grown locally and most of it truly “vine ripened”. You have not tasted a banana until you have tasted one that went yellow while still on the tree! Likewise, the fish is all locally sourced and is about as fresh as you can get, short of cooking it while still on the boat that caught it!

There are three evening dining options on board. The main dining room, L’Etoile, is “open seating” and does not require reservations for dinner. The menu in L’Etoile changes daily, though there are two main course options that remain constant. More below on the individual dishes.

La Verandah is intended to be more elegant, and the menu is unchanging for each of two halves of the cruise. The menu itself is divided into two halves, both consisting of French cuisine: one replicates dishes served in Chef Jean-Pierre Vigato’s very exclusive Michelin-starred Paris restaurant, Apicius; the other is adapted to French Polynesia (though it is still very French). The descriptive text on the menus stipulates that the two versions were carefully selected to create a total dining experience and absolutely no substitutions are allowed. This led to considerable confusion, since it implied that you had to choose one of the two menus and stick only to the dishes offered on that specific menu. In fact, you can pick and choose dishes from BOTH menus, having a starter from one, a salad from the other, etc. But this is not clear from the menu, and my waiters did not volunteer the information (those at neighboring tables sometimes did, however). Unfortunately, I was not feeling well on the one night I ate in La Verandah (see Incidents and Accidents in the main review), so I cannot fairly comment on the food, other than to say that the Vanilla Crème Brûlée was the best I’ve ever had ... and it was a huge portion.

Le Grille is an open-air restaurant created each evening by re-decorating the buffet area on the pool deck. It too has a menu that does not change for half of the cruise. The fare is lighter and in some ways more adventurous, with lots of local dishes. I tried the seared scallops appetizer, but I am sorry to report that the scallops were grossly undercooked. In fact, I am a little suspicious that they were the source of my little stomach bug, since it began the following day. Despite that one flaw, the Caesar’s Salad was superb, if a bit tiny, and the duck was amazing. For dessert, a banana split, appropriately undersized and made with those incredible tree-ripened local bananas (and the nasty UHT whipped cream ... easy enough to remove). The service in Le Grille was simply outstanding, both at dinner and during the day.

On the whole and beyond my two evening meals in the specialty restaurants, the food on the PG was very good. There were some real standouts and pleasant surprises, but also one or two real misses. Let’s tackle this topic in the order of breakfast, lunch, then dinner......

How can you not do well with breakfast? Short of the above-mentioned fresh milk issue, it’s almost foolproof. I did have breakfast via room service on three mornings, as noted elsewhere in the general review, and it was very good every time. When I ate breakfast in a dining area, I opted for Le Grille every time. No better way to start the day than out on deck looking at the blue waters and green mountains! The breakfast buffet in Le Grille is extensive, with a wide range of choices in juices (the orange juice is tastier than anything I’ve had in the US), cereals, fruits, cheeses, and cold-cut meats. There is an omelet station, but the one omelet I had tasted so bad that I had to ask the waiter if the eggs were real or powdered (they are real). Odd, since the fried eggs tasted great. And there are lots of fresh pastries that change daily. PG has an excellent bread and pastry maker! The chocolate croissants were amazing.

Lunch was, for me, likewise always in Le Grille. I quickly came to look forward to lunch each day, since the menu is done to a theme. For our first day, the theme was English Pub Lunch. Odd as that may sound for a ship in French Polynesia, I must say I was very impressed. I’ve been eating pub lunches in the UK regularly for 25 years, and the PG pub lunch was as good as or better than many of those! The fish and chips were very authentic, and came complete with Heinz-brand dark malt vinegar for the chips. Mushie peas (a very “English” dish), Cornish pasties (best I’ve ever had!), and trifle for dessert. The only “miss” on this menu was the “vegetarian shepherd’s pie”. Just a bunch of sliced veggies in a heavy cream sauce with a very thin layer of mashed potatoes on top. Even with this one first-day miss, I was already hooked on Le Grille for lunch.

Other lunch themes included Indian, Italian, Greek, Polynesian, Asian, and American-ish. I am a HUGE fan of Indian food, to the extent that I have a set round of restaurants that I have to visit on each trip to London in order to fulfill my quota for authentic Indian dishes. Still, the chicken tandoori and lamb curry on PG were the best examples of those two dishes that I have ever had! Many other passengers shared my assessment, and we were all marveling at the tandoori for the remainder of the day. I was thrilled when the lamb curry made a second appearance later in the cruise on Asian day. The Italian and Greek menus were good, though Greek food is usually too heavy for my taste. The moussaka was excellent, as were the lamb kabobs, the spanakopita, and chicken in yogurt. And you could build your own pita pocket sandwich! A made-to-order pasta station (available on many other days as well) turned out simple but very tasty pasta dishes, and the pasta was never overcooked. The bow-tie pasta with creamy gorgonzola sauce was “to die for”! The Italian pizza had a crust that was perhaps too bread-like for my taste. For American food, we had BBQ ribs that were outstanding, especially considering that we were on a small ship in the remote South Pacific! The guacamole and chips were also outstanding. Sadly, the onion rings were doughy and very undercooked. And for some very odd reason, the chef chose to serve New England Clam Chowder as the soup of the day that day! I think of chowder as a winter dish, for warming up by the fire after a day out in the snow. Yet there we were, in 85 degree heat, melting in 75% humidity, and baking under an equatorial sun! I asked the Executive Sous Chef why they did not serve a cold soup, perhaps a refreshing gazpacho. He simply looked puzzled. But to PG’s credit, many of the subsequent soups of the day turned out to be cold fruit soups ... ever had banana soup? It’s delicious! And don’t miss the Tahitian Chicken with Pineapple and Peppercorns over rice on the Asian day! Another simple but amazing dish!

Dinner in L’Etoile – No reservations required, but the earlier you go, the less likely you are to have to wait for a table. It *does* fill up on some nights, and people had to wait in the Piano Bar until a table became available.

There were some real standouts in L’Etoile. As noted above under breakfast, PG has an excellent bread and pastry chef, and all of the dinner breads are made fresh on-board daily. The bread basket had at least 5 choices each evening, ranging from the standard baguette slice to fancy cheese rolls (amazing!), rye breads, barley breads, croissants, and others too numerous to remember. And thankfully, the butter is *not* UHT, since it can survive shipping without pre-treatment.

There are two pasta choices on the menu in L’Etoile each evening, and they can be ordered as either an appetizer portion or a main. There is also always one chicken breast and one New Zealand salmon main option, either of which can be served grilled, sauteed, or poached using any of the several sauces available elsewhere on that night’s menu. So if none of the mains appeal, you can create your own made-to-order chicken or fish! The menu also has excellent vegetarian options, something that is often difficult to find in land-based restaurants in the US. And for the health-conscious, there is a suggested “Light and Healthy” meal adapted from the rest of the menu, as well as a “No Salt Added” meal option.

Outstanding dishes:

· Spanakopita appetizer – one of the best spanakopitas I’ve ever had

· Cream of cauliflower soup – in general, the soups are all outstanding

· Cold banana soup – sounds bizarre, but very tasty

· Vegetable spring rolls – served with a tiny watermelon salad, a nice contrast

· Shrimp escabeche with onion and coriander – amazing!

· Caramelized onion and gruyere cheese tart garnished with leek fondue – OMG, as the kids say! Though served by the small triangular slice, I could easily have eaten the entire tart! Superb!

· Indian tomato rasam broth – another simply stellar dish that was both an excellent soup and an Indian dish!

· Roast rack of lamb (really two lamb chops) with herb crust, ratatouille, green beans poached in a bacon sleeve, and gratinated potatoes. The lamb was perfectly cooked. I could have eaten three servings of the ratatouille.

· Moon fish filet with rosemary-onion sauce – no idea what a moon fish looks like, but it sure tasted good!

· Grilled mahi mahi with citrus butter, button and portobello mushrooms, snow peas, and shallots

In general, all of the fish dishes were superb. I have no idea what some of the fish actually *are*, such as wahoo/wahooi and moon fish, but they were all perfectly cooked and paired with sauces that complemented them very well indeed. And given the difficulties in sourcing beef, I found that it too was surprisingly good, despite the occasional complaints from others. There was the customary beef wellington and prime rib, as well as rib-eye steaks, roast beef, and veal osso buco. Pork was somewhat less evident, but did make appearances on a few nights as loin medallions with chanterelle and cappuccino sauce or honey dijon mustard cream sauce, and as Asian sweet and sour pork.

Misses:

· Cream of mushroom soup – almost black, tasted more like straight-up pureed portabellos, much too “earthy”

· Calamari fritti – this one should be a no-brainer since we were in FP, but the calamari rings were HUGE and rubbery

· Hush Puppies – the menu said “Corn Fritters(Hush Puppies)”. But those are two very different dishes. What was served was a corn fritter. Had the menu said simply “corn fritter”, this would have appeared on the “Outstanding” list. They were made mostly of flour with corn kernels added, varied in shape, and perfectly fried to a light golden brown. But true Southern Hush Puppies are not a fritter. Made from yellow corn meal and (ideally) buttermilk, they are properly egg-shaped and deep-fried to create a thick, crunchy, deep-brown exterior. No corn kernels are added, though Cajuns in southern Louisiana will sometimes add jalapeno bits. Hush puppies are traditionally served with fried catfish and accompanied by tartar sauce, while these corn fritters had an Asian sweet and sour cucumber dipping sauce. I later had a friendly discussion with Executive Chef and showed him how to make a proper Southern Hush Puppy!

Desserts – If there was any one area in which the food on PG suffered a “global failure”, this would have to be it. I was severely disappointed with the desserts, not only from the standpoint of execution, but also variety and creativity. Fruit compositions (tarts, pies, cakes) pre-dominated, as one would expect. But the pie and tart pastries were thick and heavy, not light and flaky. The nasty-tasting whipped cream ruined a number of desserts that might have otherwise been very good, especially anything with a cream filling (e.g.: Napoleons, trifles, eclairs, even mousse). Additionally, the portions were quite small, at least by US standards. It took three PG scoops of ice cream to equal a single scoop from Baskin Robbins. And when served from the buffet in Le Grille, everything tended to wilt or melt very quickly in the heat and humidity.

On a more positive note, the dinner menu in L’Etoile always included a clever ice cream dish, called a “coupe”. Though tiny in size (served in a half-sized martini glass), they included the “Amadeus Mozart” (vanilla ice cream with chocolate rum sauce and whipped cream), the “Bora Bora” (vanilla with pineapple compote, whipped cream, and toasted coconut), the “Denmark” (vanilla with chocolate sauce and almonds), the “Charlie Brown” (Rocky Road ice cream with caramel sauce and “lots of peanuts”), and the “Banana Boat” (vanilla ice cream with caramelized banana, pineapple compote, whipped cream, and toasted almonds), among others. And the visual presentation of the plated desserts was always outstanding, with lots of dribbles and swipes and dots of colorful fruit purees in artistic patterns.

Wines – a few past reviewers have been critical of the wines served on PG. I am not myself a wine drinker (never developed a taste for it), but I have to marvel at complaints when the wine is “free” (no extra charge for the basic service). I have lived in California for a total of 20 years, so I am at least passingly familiar with the California labels. And I recognized many on the PG, all of which are (I thought) considered reasonably good wines, though perhaps not true premium wines. In L’Etoile, the wines seemed to be almost evenly divided between Californian and French, with a generous dollop of Australian tossed in as well. Labels that I can actually remember include Huntington, Jacob’s Creek, Grgich, Puligny Montrachet, plus a lot of “Chateau” this-that-and-the-other. I tasted a few, and they were all good, at least to my uneducated and inexperienced palette. And the wine servers, though clearly (even to me) not true sommeliers, were at least able to offer an accurate basic description of the character of whatever they were serving. Maybe a true oenophile will offer a good review of the wines?

One last food-related observation, this one neutral : There was absolutely no fresh ground pepper to be had in any dining room on PG. All that was available was the powdered pepper in the ceramic shakers, something akin to serving Parkay with a fresh-baked brioche! On most cruise ships, including both Cunard and Princess, the waiters make a nuisance of themselves waving the 18-inch peppermill around the table. I asked about this, and was told by the Maitre-d’ that all but one of the PG’s peppermills had been broken over time, and they were awaiting replacements (“They’re on back order”). Rather than try to make due with just one, they opted to withdraw fresh-ground pepper until the new mills arrive. But I never really missed it.

A word about evening dining attire: I enjoy dressing up. We do not do that where I live (Palm Springs, CA) because the desert temperatures require keeping it light and simple. Suits on men and long dresses on women are just not comfortable when it is 105 degrees at midnight, as it often is during summer! So while some people “relax” on vacation and wear “comfortable” clothing, I do enjoy dressing up instead. Cunard transatlantic means tuxedos and evening gowns 3 or 4 nights out of 6, with suits and cocktail dresses on the other nights. PG is, quite rightly, considerably more relaxed in its dress code for evenings in the main dining rooms. No shorts allowed, though, and shirts with a collar are supposedly required for men. I was pleasantly surprised that 99% of the passengers on my cruise *did* put in the effort and dressed smartly every evening. True, I saw only one jacket and one tie on any man, but at least there were no flip-flops or Harley-Davidson t-shirts in the dining room (as on Princess cruises)! I did see one man turned away from the dining room for wearing shorts, and one man in a solid-colored collarless t-shirt inside L’Etoile, but they were rare exceptions. Of course, Hawaiian-style shirts were everywhere, almost like a quasi-official uniform for the cruise. But pair them with some nice trousers and a pair of good leather loafers and you look great. Women seem to do much better at dressing appropriately than most men, so I did not see any ladies who were under-dressed. Most looked quite elegant. So put forth a little effort, even if you are on vacation and do not want to dress up!

One other non-food issue deserves attention here: noise in L’Etoile. Because L’Etoile is at the stern and relatively low in the ship, it can get quite noisy from the propulsion system if the ship is underway. This is especially true when in the open straits between the Society Islands and the Tuamotus Archipelago. The ship’s propellers seem to generate cavitation that makes the entire stern of the ship vibrate, so much so that glasses tinkle together at the waiter’s stations. A few passengers found it mildly disturbing, but it is really nothing to worry about.

Thanks, TikiInTahiti. My review contains my impressions, and in some cases repeats rumors that went around. I did not attempt to verify the rumors, and impressions are quite subjective. For example, with regard to resorts, I never use spa facilities, so they do not factor in my impression. And the size of the room is, for me, as a solo traveler, seldom a concern (the size of the bathroom matters more). And assessment of "luxury" is dependent on where you are coming from. To me, ANY hotel in French Polynesia is "luxurious" simply by virtue of its location. And I have simple tastes. A firm bed, large firm pillows, a large TV for after dark, and a comfortable chair, and I am happy. I am often more impressed by simple rustic decor using native materials than I am by fru-fru imported silk or velvet upholsteries, hand-blown glass vases, and thousand-dollar bedside lamps. What impressed me about the Meridien was its location and the view from its bungalows. I don't know that I even saw the Sofitel (as I said, waverunners require a lot of straight-ahead concentration), but it does sound very good. Four resorts on Moorea is "many", at least to the extent that Taha'a, Rangiroa, and Fakarava have only one or two ... or none. Again, my review is very subjective and influenced by my own personal tastes and preferences, but I do appreciate the counterpoint of a Tahiti fan.

Thanks, Chris, for the clarification. And thanks, Beverly, for your efforts in organizing independent tours.

RZ3, thank you for bringing up a good point regarding Dr Poole's Whale Watching Tour. The excursion is offered directly through PG and can be booked well in advance of sailing. HOWEVER, The PG website has some serious deficiencies, one of which is an inability to book excurions online. You will need to call PG AT THE TIME YOU MAKE FINAL PAYMENT, no later, and start bugging them about booking the excursion. Then they will begin taking reservations, beginning about 60 days before departure ... they were very sketchy about this prior to my trip. But if you are persistent, you will get on the list. If you wait until just before the cruise or until boarding, the excursion is almost certain to be sold out. It is hugely popular, and for good reason. So be early, be aggressive, and be persistent.

Diving Rangiroa and Fakarava makes diving in the Bahamas feel like merely glancing at an aquarium at PetCo! Rangiroa and Fakarava are both "National Geographic" experiences! Videos forthcoming after I write the dive review this afternoon.

Emdee, thank you for the compliments. I do enjoy writing my review.

I forgot to mention two additional super yachts that we sighted during this cruise. I have an interest in these things, so I photographed each and noted their names so I could look them up once I got home.

In addition to the mega sailing sloop "Encore" spotted in Huahine and mentioned above, we saw the motorized super yacht "Latitude" at anchor in Rangiroa. She can be yours for just $145,000 per WEEK, plus fuel and provisions! http://www.boatbookings.com/yacht_search/yacht_view.php?pid=3442

And in Bora Bora, we saw the "Arctic P" at anchor, with a huge inflatable waterslide that extended from the pilot house to the water ... about 3-4 deck's worth! This boat turns out to be a converted salvage tug that now operates part-time as an expedition yacht for EYOS Expedition Yacht Charters. When not doing ice tours in Antarctica on polar tours, she does super-luxury diving expeditions in French Polynesia. http://www.yachtspotter.com/ysp2_ycard.php?foo=20060926

Today, I will cover Onboard Entertainment, Ports of Call, Excursions, and the post-cruise Dayrooms.

ONBOARD ENTERTAINMENT:

The Paul Gauguin is really not intended to be an entertainment center in and of itself. It’s a very nice hotel that moves from place to place, offering meals, drinks, and a nice room for sleep in between off-ship activities. Thus the onboard entertainment is confined almost exclusively to on-deck mini-parties at sail-aways or one event each evening in the Grand Salon. During the day and while in port, there is little to keep you occupied, if you remain onboard, other than the single pool and laying in the sun. But since 99% of the passengers went ashore on every port day, that is not a problem. You are there to see the islands, not the ship. Nonetheless, PG does present some small-scale entertainments unlike anything I have seen on any other ship, and they were very successful.

The most unique entertainment was a pre-dinner “Block Party” event held early in the cruise. We were all invited to prop our cabin doors open at 6PM, gather in the hallway, and meet our neighbors. The stewardesses poured wine, at least one Gauguin/Gauguine was present in each area, plus one or two ship’s officers in whites. It was great fun, and really greased the social wheels. Other cruise lines should consider a version of this activity.

The Gauguins/Gauguines also had a Tahitian Temporary Tattoo event to help keep us occupied on the at-sea day. Using rubber stencils and children’s black Halloween makeup, they applied wash-off tattoos to those who wanted them. A huge success, with folks lining up 5 and 6 deep for small turtles, geckos, and hibiscus flowers, large stylized manta rays, tribal or clan markings, and even a massive tiki face. Several of us suggested a change to henna, so that the tattoos would last beyond the next dip in the pool, but black is the only color allowed by Polynesian culture (henna is brown, fades to gold or yellow).

The tattoo event was followed by a Polynesian dance class, but attendance was low and only the women wanted to participate. Gentlemen were not offered lessons in the more-aggressive male dances.

Evening Shows in the Grand Salon: I attended only the three Polynesian shows, so can only report hearsay on the others. The pianist, Dan Murphy, did a show one evening that was billed as “movie musical comedy songs from throughout the years.” After-reports suggest that the genre was actually movie music in general, not musical comedies in particular. A slide show of movie posters intended to supplement the music was apparently poorly synchronized and often interrupted. The reviews were less than glowing. Otherwise, Mr Murphy was in the Piano Bar most evenings and often in Le Grille at tea-time. He is a competent pianist, but there is a reason why he is working on a cruise ship in Polynesia rather than in a music studio in NYC or LA. Still, he was very friendly with passengers and eager to take requests, including mine for a complete run-through of “South Pacific” during tea time on deck in Bora Bora. Other ‘shows’ included a Liars’ Club event, Krew Kapers, featuring the talents of various crew members, a screening of the Mel Gibson version of “Mutiny on the Bounty”, and an evening of vocals by the cruise director. I skipped all of these.

The highlight of onboard entertainment for me was the Polynesian shows. The ship’s own entertainers, Les Gauguins (male, Tihoni and Teuai) and Gauguines (female), performed traditional Polynesian songs and dances on the first night, in Huahine. Very entertaining. Quite well-polished as ship-board shows go, overseen by a traditional Tahitian “Mama”. They also did a few afternoon events on deck, most notably on the sail-in at Rangiroa (more on that below).

On the first evening in Moorea (toward the end of the cruise), an amateur group of young people came aboard to present their show as part of a Polynesian Festival evening throughout the ship. The evening actually began with a “mini heiva”, during which 6 or 7 Polynesian Mamas plopped down in the floor outside L’Etoile and La Verandah, poured out huge piles of fragrant flowers and leaves onto colorful cloths, and proceeded to make leis and heis (headbands) for the guests. Some were even made-to-order. Guests were also invited to join the Mamas on the floor and make their own. These leis and heis were totally different from the type you often get in Hawaii. Those at the mini-heiva were dense and heavy, often containing hundreds of flowers each, all packed tightly together on a cord, with greenery used to create fringing and spikes. They were stunningly colorful, and the smell was amazing. Later, some of the Mamas sat in the floor in front of the stage in the Grand Salon during the show, making more and bestowing them on random audience members.

The amateur show was brilliant! This is a “do-not-miss-it” event, in my opinion. The singers and dancers were “regular” Polynesian young adults who obviously really enjoyed what they were doing, rather than carefully auditioned pros chosen as much for their appearance as for their talent. It was refreshing to see young women with normal jiggly bits and a few extra pounds instead of a row of uniformly thin models. The show started with a cleverly choreographed lesson in the various ways to tie a pareo, for both women and men. A demonstration of high-speed coconut husking followed, with the men making an amusing show of smearing themselves with the resulting coconut milk. Traditional songs and dances followed, in solo, pairs, or groups. This troupe interacted more with the audience during the show itself, as well. The men, in particular, went out into the audience and quite literally “got in your face” with their (fake) facial tattoos and aggressive expressions. The costumes seemed more authentic and handmade than those in the subsequent show. They were accompanied by a small band of men on various stringed instruments and a drum, and again they seemed truly “authentic” and genuine, more like an informal spontaneous gathering than a carefully produced production. I enjoyed the evening immensely. And the entire group posed for photos with guests afterward.

The second show, in Papeete on the last night, was billed as a professional group. And that professional status clearly showed. Don’t get me wrong ... the show was excellent and very entertaining. But the female participants in particular were all reed-thin (unlike the US, Polynesian culture used to valorize heavier women, but this show was “westernized” in that regard) and heavily made up. The costumes were far more lavish and clearly expertly made (I noted in particular that the men’s pareos had been altered with darts and gathers to prevent “costume malfunctions”, and were made fast with velcro strips rather than hand tying). The choreography was much more advanced and complex. But the music was recorded rather than live, and the singing appeared to by partially lip-synched to the recording. Again, I *did* enjoy the pro show, but I was more impressed by the amateur show, largely because of the latter’s greater seeming authenticity and the sheer personal enthusiasm of the participants.

The band Santa Rosa – A few people here have bemoaned the loss of a previous band that left PG recently. They were replaced by Santa Rosa, a group of Asian-Pacific Islanders (non-Polynesian) that seem to specialize in early rock and roll. I am not a fan of live bands, but I still enjoyed this group. There was something amusing about 5 or 6 Asians in golf bibs, Blues Brothers sunglasses, Hawaiian shirts, and white pants singing Beach Boys and Jimmy Buffet tunes. I was reminded of Mr Chow in the "Hangover" films. They performed at several sail-aways and regularly in La Palette, the bar at the stern of the ship.

The casino on board consists of one blackjack table, one roulette table (I never saw it in use), and a small room with about a dozen small-change slot machines. But we had a Blackjack tournament most days, with a $50 buy-in and a prize always above $200. The same small group played on most days, and it became a nice (if expensive) vehicle for socializing. A few people played later in the evening, especially later in the cruise, but the casino was vastly under-utilized.

Spa – I did not use it, and only rarely saw anyone in there. The prices were high but comparable to spa prices on Cunard.

Library – There is a small library of one or two hundred books that are available on an honor system. Mostly fiction titles (left behind by past passengers?) plus a few guidebooks available through Reception. Lots of people read while on deck in the afternoons, many with Kindles.

DVDs – Each cabin has a DVD player integrated into the small television, and there is an extensive DVD library at reception. I highly recommend indulging in a little cheesiness and viewing “South Pacific” at some point during the cruise. And make it the 1958 Mitzi Gaynor- Rossano Brazzi version, not the unfortunate 2001 remake with Glenn Close and Harry Connick Jr.

The chef offered galley tours, but I did not attend. I am told that photography was prohibited on that tour.

Lectures – Several “enrichment lectures” were offered, including one by archaeologist/anthropologist Mark Eddowes on Polynesian culture, and one by Dr Michael Poole on dolphins and whales. I missed both due to late-returning tours, but I am told they were both good, despite various problems with AV equipment used for accompanying slideshows.

Sail-Ins and Sail-Aways – Because the ship leaves most ports very promptly at 5PM, there is the opportunity for on-deck festivities at each sailing. These festivities range from the low-key, with Santa Rosa playing in La Palette at the stern (e.g.: leaving Bora Bora, or leaving Rangiroa in a brief rain shower), to more extensive catered affairs around the pool. The sun set at about 6PM each day, so watching for the “green flash” became part of the fun. Another highlight was playing “name that island” and trying to figure out whether or not we had been to or were going to the many islands in the distance. The sail-away from Taha’a offered particularly scenic views of Bora Bora at sunset.

The best, however, was not a sail-AWAY, but rather a sail-IN ... to Rangiroa. We arrived at Rangiroa at noon, so the sail-in coordinated nicely with lunch. The ship entered the low-lying atoll through a disturbingly narrow passage, and there were dozens of spinner dolphin around the ship as we sailed through the passage. The Gauguins/Gauguines performed a lengthy set on deck by the pool, including some dancing by Tehoni. The galley crew set up tables next to the pool, decorated with fruits and flowers. Tattoo-covered Teuai arrived in a pareo and wielding a meat cleaver, which he used constantly for the next two hours to whack away at coconuts, to which guests added their own measure of rum to make ersatz pina coladas. A chef also sliced purple star apples for guests to try (I took a pass). Teuai also posed for photos, cleaver in one hand and coconut in the other, and the ladies lined up for it. I wonder why? (LOL) I will be posting to YouTube a video of the entire sail-in, which can be found using keywords Rangiroa, “sail-in”, “Paul Gauguin”, and “2 Oct 2013”.

(Regarding pareos, I *had* to ask: What does a real Tahitian man wear under his pareo? Teuai informed me, without flinching, that he wears nothing under his.)

PORTS OF CALL:

HUAHINE – Our first stop. A less-developed island, but still well populated. Maroe, the village or small town nearest our anchorage, was packed with locals, and offered a few shopping opportunities. I have a weird attraction to local grocery stores, as I find they are a good barometer of the local culture, so I sought out one. I had never before seen the entire foreleg of a cow packaged for sale. This place had an entire freezer full. A browse through the meat and refrigerated sections confirmed what I already know about the difficulty of getting food supplies in such a remote island chain. But most of my time in Huahine was spent on an independent tour, detailed below.

BORA BORA – Obviously a major tourist destination. Beautiful scenery. Breathtaking mountain formations. Lots of pearls shopping in Vaitape, with prices all over the map. A careful scout through them alerted me to the fact that there are few real bargains on pearls in a tourist destination. But I did manage to scoop up a shark’s tooth and Tahitian pearl necklace from a sidewalk vendor. I paid $25 for it, which was probably too much (the pearl had an obvious flaw, though the pearl was positioned to hide the flaw), but I felt better giving the money to someone obviously working to support her family than to some shopkeeper.

The best price and selection, for things other than pearls, that I found in Bora Bora were at Boutique Bora Bora, across the street and just to the right (south) from the tender dock.

And it was in Bora Bora that I found the most absurdly over-priced souvenir I have ever seen in my entire life of traveling. One slickly decorated, ultra-modern, air-conditioned shop had small glass bottles, smaller than a shot glass, each with a cork in the top. Half were completely empty, but had printed labeling on the side that read “Sable du” (sand from) followed by a bullet-list naming the various islands. The object was to buy the bottle and to fill it yourself with sand from the island of your choice. The price was a “mere” 2900 francs. That’s US$ 31.00. Yes, thirty-one dollars for an empty glass micro-bottle with a little printing on it! For that price, you want something valuable already IN the bottle, right? Well, the other half of the bottles for sale had an even smaller bottle dangling inside the first bottle by a string from the cork. That second, smaller bottle also appeared to be empty ... but it wasn’t. The larger bottle was labeled with words to the effect that the smaller bottle contained “Fresh South Pacific Breezes”. So for the same $31 price, rather than an empty bottle, you could get some valuable air-in-a-bottle. I guess tourists will buy anything .......

RANGIROA – Though Rangiroa covers a very large space, the vast majority of it is a lagoon. The total population is less than 15,000, and the village nearest the ship’s anchorage is very small. I spent all of my time diving and thus did not go ashore, but I was told that the village was largely shut up since it was a Sunday. We were there only from noon to 5PM. But the sail-in and sail-away were amazing, with lots of dolphin watching from the deck.

FAKARAVA – In many ways, this was my favorite island. It is the least developed among those we visited, and the least populated, yet it is the second largest of the atolls. There was almost nothing on shore in the way of shopping or other activities. The only amusement was a stroll down the middle of the concrete street, which was utterly devoid of vehicles or people. It was almost insufferably hot, so I found myself scurrying from shade-spot to shade-spot. School was in session at the tiny primary school, at least one micro-size pearl shop was open, and a few elderly women were sitting on their porches, but I saw few other signs of life. I was very much reminded of the Caribbean back in the late 1960s and early 1970s, right down to the large water-collection cisterns next to each house.

There is church on the island within walking distance of the tender dock, and it is worth a visit. I assume it is Roman Catholic, based on the construction of the altar and the presence of Madonnas and saints’ images. But I did notice a large Russian Orthodox icon panel to the right of the altar. I had to wonder how and why it got there. The rest of the decor consisted of shell work, including an unusual altar backdrop comprised of hundreds of oyster shells with their mother-of-pearl interiors glowing in the light.

TAHA’A – Pronunciation of the name of this island became the running amusement among passengers, since English makes almost no use of the glottal stop indicated by the apostrophe in the name, and the repetition of the “ah” sound was easy to exaggerate. It is properly pronounced “tah-HA ah”, but most of us were reduced to saying “Tah-ha-ha-ha-ha”.

This is a large island that shares a lagoon with nearby Raiatea. It is home to a major vanilla-producing industry, as well many pearl farms. The island is undeveloped, however, and has only a minimal tourist presence. We were actually prohibited from going ashore except as part of an organized tour group operated by local residents. The island is thus very much unspoiled. But to see it, you must take one of the three land tours offered there.

The principal attraction at Taha’a is Motu Mahana, a small island owned for generations by a Polynesian family but partially leased by PG for use as a private beach resort area. PG has a nice set-up there, with lots of chaise lounges, large round wooden tables with umbrellas and benches, and a gazebo area for serving a nice lunch. The onboard spa offers massages on the beach, and there is some decent snorkeling (watch for the brightly colored blue-lip clams). Just be careful of the hundreds of sea urchins that can easily pierce your foot and even flip-flops, and the thousands of squishy sea cucumbers. One snorkler even spotted a pair of octopuses. There are local vendors at the periphery of the beach selling anything from vanilla beans and oil to pearl necklaces priced in the high four figures USD.

The crew vs passengers kayak race was especially fun, with lots of jovial rivalry acted out in good fun. One crew member had his kiteboard out, but we could only watch. Some of the crew used the ocean side of the island for a little afternoon-off privacy.

MOOREA – This was by far the most dramatic of the islands, in terms of topography. But it was also the most “touristified”. Lots of high-end hotels with over-the-water bungalows. The old Club Med is now a ruin and has been derelict for almost 20 years, but most of the other developments are on the other side of the island.

The tender pier is at the village of Papeto’ai, in the ‘Opunohu Bay (in fact, the current Google Maps satellite image of Moorea captures the PG at anchor and the tender as it approaches the PG; you can also see the round PG umbrella on the pier itself). There is no fixed-location shopping near the tender pier. Instead, small-scale local vendors set up tables under canopies along the pier. The prices here seemed more reasonable than on the other islands. I was able, for the first time, to haggle with the vendors well enough to get a 40% discount on what I wanted to buy. Additionally, several pearls shops have vans or cars stationed at the pier to transport shoppers to their place of business, free of charge and free of purchase obligation. We took one of these, and the driver was very nice, but the prices in the shop were very high.

With so little in the way of facilities near the pier, going ashore here requires either an organized tour or cab fares. Rumor had it that a simple day pass to the Intercontinental Hotel was $200 per person, however. A few people did independent tours here, including one large family group that rented a catamaran for the day. Lots to do here, but getting from pier to activity requires both time and money.

PAPEETE, TAHITI – Having boarded late, I was able to see Papeete only briefly on the last morning onboard. I did finally manage to find some acceptable prices on pareos (3 for 5000 francs or about US$55) and pearls. A visit to the Marche Papeete (the municipal market) is a MUST. It is a short walk from the ship and one block back from the quayside. It is large, and obviously intended largely for locals. Vendors sell everything from fruits and vegetables to colorful fresh fish, trinkets, clothing, souvenirs, wine, flowers, and other goods. One aisle has multiple vendors making on-site and selling gorgeous leis and heis, in case you have not already had a few.

EXCURSIONS:

HUAHINE – Thanks to the organizing efforts of NiagraGirl, a group of us took an independent excursion, Marc’s Motu Picnic. This differed from the tour offered by PG in that it was longer and included a partial circumnavigation of the island by motorized outrigger. But we started by truck, sitting in benches added to the truck-bed and covered with an awning (the awning poles were nicely decorated with island flowers). We hit a few land-based sites, including a small vanilla “plantation” (??really an excuse to steer us towards some cousin’s vanilla stall??), one archeological site beside a lagoon that included a small open-air museum and lots of sand fleas, the local shopping district (site of my grocery tour), and a unique collection of blue-eyed eels in a freshwater pool that the locals feed, maintain, and reportedly regard as “sacred” (my amateurish video of the eels is on YouTube under “Huahine Blue-Eyed Eels”).

Then we shifted to the motorized outrigger for the water-based portion of the excursion. Of course, this included a stop at an off-shore pearl farm, really just a shack on pilings. After that, a brief drift snorkel over a shallow reef that seemed to thrill everyone, since it was our first glance at the underwater world. Then we had a stop at a private motu for a picnic lunch of poisson cru (aka ceviche, but without the cilantro), BBQ chicken (massive chicken legs!), saffron rice, locally-grown vine-ripened watermelon, and local pineapple. We ate at tables that stood in shallow water, which served first to cool us and second to keep away the sand fleas so abundant on dry land. After lunch, a long but very pleasant boat ride back toward the pier, with one stop to feed black-tipped reef sharks. That stop was itself great fun, since you get in the water with the sharks which are as much as 5 feet long. But no touching!

We also got to pass closely by the just-launched 144-foot super yacht “Encore” (http://www.charterworld.com/index.html?sub=yacht-charter&charter=sailing-yacht-encore-ay-7941), a sight that set us all agog for its sheer opulence and conspicuous consumption.

All in all, a very good day! Thank you, Chris, for organizing it!

BORA BORA – This was a dive destination for me, so the only excursion I took there was the waverunner trip around the island’s lagoon. After making our way ashore in the PG tender (watch for the outrigger racers riding the stern wave of the tender to and from the ship, my video on YouTube), we were transferred a short distance in two vans to the site of the Intercontinental Hotel. On their grounds, a family runs a small business that includes waverunner tours. After the briefest and most sketch-like of pre-tour operating instructions, we quickly took to the water. It quickly became apparent that this tour was far less about seeing the island from the water than it was about zipping around on a small watercraft. At times we hit 40 mph, and you had to concentrate so closely on controlling the waverunner that it was difficult to appreciate any view other than the one immediately off your own bow. Still, the colors of the water, and the changes in that color as the depth changed, were absolutely amazing. And we did get a good close-up assessment of several of the higher-end hotels and their over-the-water bungalows (I preferred the Meridien). We made a brief snack stop on the company owner’s family motu, where we were served locally grown grapefruit, bananas, and pineapple. But the best part was the guide’s family, a half dozen male cousins less than 8 years of age, rushing out into the lagoon to greet us, to moor our waverunners, and to help us out of our lifevests. When we were ready to leave, they started our waverunners for us, helped us put on our lifevests and board the craft. Then they played a game of trying to throw themselves under the rooster tails we made as we sped away. It was truly memorable.

A note about the bar-restaurant, Bloody Mary’s – A significant number of passengers seemed to feel compelled to visit this place. Yet among the many people I asked, not one had any idea as to the derivation of the name. Most attributed it to the cocktail, since lousy versions of it were the main item on the drinks menu. Not even one person associated the bar with the colorful character from “South Pacific” (“Bloody Mary is the girl I love, now ain’t that too damned bad?....”). Very frustrating.

RANGIROA and FAKARAVA – both dive destinations for me, so no organized shore excursions.

TAHA’A – Exploration of Taha’a with PG. Another small truck with seating in the flatbed portion. This was a true “off-road” experience, up rutted, muddy dirt roads through jungle to reach the higher points of the island. Lots of jiggling and jarring and being tossed about in your seat. And lots of dust and dirt. Great fun! The view from the belvedere (literally “pretty to see”) was awe-inspiring. While there, we were again served grapefruit, bananas, and pineapple, and the two tour guides played ukeleles and sang Polynesian songs. Plus the obligatory stop at a pearl farm and a vanilla plantation. But the vanilla stop on Taha’a was far and away the best vanilla plantation we saw, perhaps because Taha’a is “the vanilla island”. The prices for the vanilla (beans, powder, extract, oils, soaps, etc) were better than previously seen on other islands, and the exchange rate offered at the till was quite good.

At the end of the tour, it was obvious that our guide, Armando, expected a tip. He even gave a little speech about the difficulties of earning a living in Taha’a, since that island actively discourages the tourist trade. Some tipped, others did not.

MOOREA – On the first of two days in port, I opted for Ato’s Off-Road Safari. This excursion was very similar in concept to the tour on Huahine. However, it was far dirtier, and so dusty that the shower ran red with local dirt when we got back to the ship. We made several stops during the climb up the mountain to take in some stunning scenery of both the beaches and the mountains. We drove through extensive pineapple fields to get a close-up look at how they are grown. Then we stopped at a juice processing plant, though we were confined to the gift shop. Still, tasting the coconut liqueurs and other fruit liqueurs was fun. The shop also offered the best collection of postcards I had yet seen on the entire trip, and at the best prices. Then a stop at the Lycee Agricole, the agricultural school, for fresh-squeezed pineapple juice, fruity ice creams, and tastings of various fruit jams. The lime jam and the pineapple-banana jam were incredibly good. Next up, a stop at an archaeological site, then off to “Magic Mountain”, a ridge point overlooking the bay. We were promised a “surprise” there, and we did indeed have one. The second truck ran off the very narrow concrete roadway on a steep incline and became stuck. It took about a half hour to free it. One of the many Incidents and Accidents of the trip. But the view from the peak was, like all the others, awe-inspiring. Our guide on that excursion was Spirou, a Frenchwoman who spoke excellent English (the guide in the other truck spoke little English, so took the French tourists with him). Ato’s Off-Road Safari is an excellent excursion, and I highly recommend it.

My last excursion was Dr Michael Poole’s Dolphin/Whale Watching trip. But first, to illustrate the degree to which this tour depends on the whims of Mother Nature, let me say that the first group, who went out on the first morning in Moorea, got to hang out next to a whale mother and her calf not half a mile from the ship, just inside the mouth of the lagoon. Those of us still onboard the PG could only stand at the railings and watch from a distance. The pair were resting, and so stayed near the surface and relatively motionless. Watchers got to go in the water more than once and to remain quite close to the whales for an outstanding underwater view. It must have been spectacular. It was thrilling enough even for those of us just watching from afar.

My group, on the morning of day two in Moorea, had to search a little harder. First, we tracked two pods of dozens of spinner dolphins each, that had just entered the lagoon near the ship. Several of them treated us to the sight of their characteristic spinning breach displays. Lots of oohs and aahs.

Then we went off in search of whales. Dr Poole rang up friends and colleagues on fishing boats and other whale-watching tours until he heard about an adult and calf pair just outside the lagoon on the west side of the island. We motored across a lagoon that was smooth as glass, then out through the breakers into the open ocean beyond. We very quickly spotted whale spouts, plus at least two other whale-watching tour boats. The pair turned out to be a trio, two adults and a calf. The calf was a newborn, at most 6 weeks old according to Dr Poole. But the calf was obviously wounded along its dorsal surface, which led Dr Poole to speculate that one of the adults was a male attempting to separate mother and calf so as to mate with the mother. And indeed, as time passed, the adults moved further to the southwest while the calf wandered aimlessly back and forth on a more westerly course. For a time, it even circled the boat repeatedly at close distance as though hoping we were it’s mother.

Did I (and we) get to get in the water with whales? YOU BET I DID! I read the previous reviews on Cruise Critic and knew to sit in the back of the boat to increase my chances. And sure enough, Dr Poole sent us into the water in small groups, beginning with those at the back, so I was literally the first in the water after our chaperone, Thierry. And that first group got to see all three whales, before the adults moved away. It was all very quick, since the whales were in motion in the open ocean and not at rest inside the lagoon, but the image is etched permanently in my memory. Sadly, my Sony HDR-AS10 video camera, supposedly waterproof to 200 feet, imploded at 65 feet in Fakarava two days earlier, so no underwater imagery of the whales. I am crossing my fingers that one of my fellow tourists who had great photos (WhenCanWeGo Beverly’s husband) will forward copies to me.

Later groups saw only the calf, but they were able to view it for a longer length of time and at slightly closer range. Still, I GOT TO SWIM WITH WHALES IN THE WILD!!!!

A few observations about Dr Poole’s tour. Occasional past reviewers have noted his manner and implied that he is rude or bossy. I have to disagree. Dr Poole is a highly educated professional constantly engaged in his life’s work. This was very apparent during our tour, as Dr Poole repeatedly took out a small dictation recorder to make detailed observations in obscure scientific terminology. The “dis-association event” that he thought we were witnessing seemed to be a very unusual occurrence, since Dr Poole made many notes in which he stated the precise time and GPS coordinates as well as each whale’s appearance and movements. What does this mean? It means we tourists are his guests, invited into his laboratory. Unfortunately, too many tourists do not behave as invited guests and instead become self-absorbed interlopers.

If you go on Dr Poole’s tour, LISTEN TO AND OBEY HIS EVERY INSTRUCTION. As he said himself repeatedly, his rules are for your safety and the safety of others, and he does try to treat everyone equally and fairly. If he tells you to be ready to go in the water, BE READY! The decision actually to go is made suddenly, and the group up for water must move very quickly and enter the water very quietly. Jump in and you *will* get yelled at for not following directions. Hang on to the entry ladder too long, and you *will* get yelled at for holding up those behind you (I learned that one while trying to put on my fins in the water). Splash around with a standard crawl swim-stroke after entering the water, and you *will* get yelled at for scaring the whales. In the end, at least three people in the front of our boat missed out on getting in the water because they were not ready when called upon and they took too long to get ready. At least one was obviously disgruntled, but that’s what happens when you do not follow directions.

Since returning home, I have corresponded with Dr Poole about the “dis-associated” calf. That afternoon, after our tour, Thierry was able to confirm that the two adults were both male. So the calf was already separated from its mother when we first saw it. Dr Poole hypothesized that it had associated with the two adult males only temporarily, and the end of that association just happened to coincide with our encounter. His colleagues tracked the males for the next couple of days, but the calf was never seen again. He hopes that it relocated its mother, but cannot confirm that. It could not have survived alone.

Dr Poole's Whale Watching Tour is a "must do" on any PG cruise that visits Moorea during whale season.

DAYROOMS:

I had never been on a cruise where dayrooms were available at either end, so I had absolutely no idea what to expect. The concept is certainly a very good one – keep the customers/passengers comfortable and occupied during a long period between disembarkation and air travel. The execution was, however, a little inconsistent.

Our luggage left the cabin the night before and on the next morning went on to the hotel in a separate conveyance. We boarded a standard tour bus at about 12:30 (after a nice lunch on board) for a tour of the island of Tahiti. Stops included the reconstructed home of James Norman Hall (co-author of “Mutiny on the Bounty”), Venus Point, to which Captain James Cook was dispatched in 1769 to observe the important Transit of Venus across the Sun in that year, and the Three Cascades or Vaimahutu Waterfalls.

The “Bounty” house seemed to me like a “throw in”, since few if any of us were familiar with the author or his actual trilogy of novels (though we were all well aware of the various “Bounty” films). We were given a detailed tour of the simple two-bedroom house, but I dropped out early for sheer lack of interest.

Venus Point was a little more interesting. A few monuments to Cook and others, a nice gift shop, some massive rubber trees, and a lovely black sand beach with views of the Tahitian coast and Moorea in the distance. There were a number of locals engaged in various activities on the beach, including a group of kids playing soccer and some young adults practicing their outrigger team racing skills. On the whole, it did seem to be a hangout for locals, with few obvious tourists around.

But the Three Cascades was the best stop, by far. As it happened, our tour guide’s family owns the falls and the valley in which it is located, so we got a very detailed tour of the area. It is absolutely magical. As we left to move on to the Radisson Hotel, we got a little lecture about the social and cultural changes that have occurred recently in French Polynesia, but unfortunately that lecture was tinged with a little too much (in my opinion) philosophical preaching of the “why can’t we all get along” kind, with a few hints of religion tossed in for good measure. Still, the tour is well worth doing, if only because the stop at the waterfalls and Venus Point offer such splendid scenery. And its free.

Whether passengers are assigned to the Radisson or the Intercontinental for their dayroom seems to be dependent on the category of cabin assigned on the ship. The Radisson is definitely the less opulent of the two. On arrival, I immediately noticed peeling paint along all of the eaves of every building and discoloration and staining of the exterior walls, as though exterior maintenance had been deferred for some considerable time. Check-in was very fast, but getting to the room was an adventure in pathfinding as we wound our way around corners from one building to another, up this elevator and down that one then back up another one. The room itself was very nice, but housekeeping had left the A/C off and the drapes of the west-facing sliders open, so it was very hot when I walked in. A very deep (25 feet?) spacious balcony overlooked a grassy lawn facing the sea, but an unsightly chain-link fence separated the hotel property from the beach itself. I wanted a nap, but the alarm clock was not working. Getting a new one from the Front Desk or Housekeeping proved utterly impossible. I called the desk, but no one could understand that I wanted either a working clock or a wake-up call for 6 PM today (for a nap) rather than for 6AM tomorrow (after a full night of sleep). So I went to the desk in person to try again. They became convinced I was having trouble with the WiFi. I gave up. Half an hour later, a manager and a maintenance person arrived at the room, tools in hand, to “repair the problem.” Once they understood that all I needed was a new $5 alarm clock, they left with promises to dispatch one. None ever appeared.

We were firmly cautioned by hotel staff on arrival at the Radisson to make reservations in the restaurant if we intended to eat there before going to the airport at 8:30 PM. I opted to test the system and did not make reservations. I went to the restaurant at 6:45 for dinner, and was seated immediately, since it was still 2/3 empty. The waiter, “Kiki”, was an absolute hoot, thoroughly entertaining. He was the spitting image of Albin/Zaza in the French film “La Cage Aux Folles”. The menu changed at 7P, but I was still allowed to order off the pre-7 menu. I had the spring rolls, and they were outstanding. Still hungry, I later ordered the shrimp gazpacho off the post-7 menu. That was a mistake. Everyone seemed to arrive at the restaurant at the same time, 7PM, and suddenly it was controlled chaos. My gazpacho took at least half an hour to arrive, though I was fully occupied during the wait by watching Kiki/Albin flutter about apologizing to everyone for the delays. When it arrived, the gazpacho was inedible. For some odd reason, it was cream based, and it had enough salt in it to re-salinate the Pacific. My 6 delicious spring rolls, inedible gazpacho, and can of Coke cost a “mere” $46.03.

On leaving the Radisson at 8:30PM, we were each given a shell lei, a very nice touch. The trip to the airport was reasonably quick and easy. Arriving there, we collected our luggage from a semi-secured area and proceeded to the check-in lines. Then things fell apart again. ATN had two flights bound for LAX, departing 45 minutes apart. That meant there were about 400-500 people needing to check in, all at the same time. We were directed by the tour bus personnel to a single seemingly interminable line, assured that there was only one line. After standing there a few minutes, I decided something just did not seem right. How could three check-in desks handle 500 passengers and all their bags in a short time? So I scouted around a bit and quickly discovered through ATN personnel that there were TWO lines, one for each flight, and three more check-in desks. So I and many others quickly scurried over to a loop-line area that was otherwise totally vacant. It moved quickly and smoothly after that. Security and outbound passport control were a breeze. The waiting area was very nice, especially for a tropical open-air facility. The flight departed on time without issue and we all got to LA in one piece.

Tomorrow: Separate threads on Dining and Food (that will also address attire), and on Diving With Paul Gauguin.

Hi I am the wife of the unfortunate one who got carted off to hospital at the end of our cruise. He actually scratched his leg not on coral, but with his own fingernails (he said it was really itchy?!) and it must have got infected with all the swimming. I am happy to report that we made it home to NZ 3 days after the cruise finished when he was cleared to fly. He will be on antibiotics for another week but he will be just fine! Talk about a memorable honeymoon :rolleyes:

Thanks for the clarification ... so many things happened that it is difficult to remember the details correctly. I am VERY relieved to hear that hubby is on the mend! Glad you saw this and updated us!

Looks like 3 flights - 2 ATN and 1 AF

All get into Papeete between 5 and 5:35 am! This will make the airport an insane place. What will everyone do until 3pm? My guess will be day rooms at the IC.

I suppose it all depends on whether or not you can sleep on a plane. I cannot, so jetlag and fatigue are major considerations for me. The dayrooms might help ... I will cover that topic in tomorrow's post. But if you want to arrive rested and ready to being your cruise immediately upon boarding, I do very strongly recommend arriving in Papeete at least 24 hours before embarkation. There are many hotel options in Papeete that are more affordable than the packages offered through PG, so you CAN arrive early without significantly increasing your total holiday expense (I confess I am a penny pincher, especially when it comes to hotels where all I plan to do is catch up on sleep). Sleeping in on the first day of the voyage was not really an option this time, since Day One was in Huahine and most of the excursions set off between 8 and 9 AM. Several couples that I talked to *did* do the pre-cruise 3-day or 4-day hotel package, and every one said they were really glad that they did.

Today I will cover a few lesser topics, plus one biggie: Shopping.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Every cruise ship these days has at least one - and usually many - onboard “professional” photographers. They set up large fake backdrops, usually halfway blocking the routes to the dining rooms, and push passengers into highly artificial poses. The resulting photos are then posted on what I call The Wall of Shame for all to see (on Cunard, it is one of my evening rituals to peruse the gallery looking for amusing photos). And of course you can buy them ... for a mere $24.95 each! I was very pleasantly surprised to find that the lone photographer on PG was unusually unobtrusive. Yes, he set up his backdrop in the passageway just outside L’Etoile, effectively blocking the path. But it was very easy to pass by without being pressured to pose. And the backdrops were often very simple single-color ones. A printer malfunction meant that the Wall Of Shame was open only sporadically, since there were few prints to display.

I did notice that the photographer used some techniques not seen on other cruise ships, techniques that did make his photos a little more interesting. He seemed to like using a fish-eye lens, so that his passenger-subjects were at the center of a skewed scene. Oddly enough, that technique was sort of successful when done on shore with a natural scenic background. And many of his photos taken on Moto Mahana were really quite good. He also used soft-focus a lot, making us older folks look a little less wrinkled. I liked that.

I had him take photographs of me on three occasions: with a “Bali Hai” backdrop on the night of the Polynesian Festival, and twice with the entertainers in Polynesian costume. None of them came out well. But I never photograph well anyway.

INTERNET:

The Internet connection seemed not to be working throughout the cruise. I never once saw anyone in the small computer lounge, though I did see a few people glued to their mobile devices during the day.

SECURITY:

Security was less intense than what I have experienced on other cruise lines. Yes, we went through the usual screening at first boarding. But bags of personal items or purchases brought aboard after shore excursions were not scanned, and I am not sure that the body scanner was ever turned on when we re-boarded. Since crime is not really a problem in French Polynesia, I am sure there was little concern about people secreting weaponry aboard. But the obvious absence of meticulous security was a bit jarring and reminded me how paranoid we have become in the US.

On shore, I saw policemen (“gendarmes”) only once or twice, and only on the more touristy islands. Everyone seemed very relaxed, as though even petty crime were a rarity. This was in striking contrast to many Caribbean ports, where cruise passengers are given detailed instructions on how to prevent loss to pickpockets and bag snatchers while on shore.

The lifeboat drill on PG was an unusual experience. Other cruise lines have you gather at a variety of mass muster stations where they run through a verbal agenda, then practice donning your life jackets. And those life jackets are usually to be found inside your cabin. For those of us who arrived late at night, the PG muster drill was held next day, and it was absolutely mandatory. We all gathered in the Grand Salon and went through the usual verbal agenda. The donning of life jackets was demonstrated by crew members, but was not practiced by passengers. We were then split into four muster groups and actually escorted to the location on the promenade deck where we would board lifeboats in a true emergency. And all life jackets are stored there in storage lockers, not in the individual cabins. We were held there until the head safety officer came through each group to be certain that everyone was present and understood the procedure.

SHOPPING:

I did far more shopping on this trip than I normally do. I am NOT a souvenir collector, but for some reason I felt more compelled to buy lots of little chotskis on this trip.

Colored “Tahitian” pearls are THE thing in French Polynesia, of course. And they are virtually everywhere, and at virtually every price. So many of the shore excursions stop at a small family-owned pearl farm that you will definitely visit at least one. I saw three during this cruise. At some, the tour is conducted in very broken English, while at others (Taha’a comes to mind) the tour was much better and more informative. But the real objective is to sell pearls.

BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN BUYING TAHITIAN PEARLS. In my opinion, the prices in most of the local shops, and even from the vendors at card tables on the beach and beside the streets, are grossly inflated. Yes, the sellers give detailed explanations about the various grades and qualities of the pearls, making it sound as though you are getting a premium product at a bargain price. But the one thing that you cannot see in the normal retail setting is actually a thing of critical importance in pearl quality and thus pearl value: the thickness of the nacre, or pearl substance. Tahitian pearls are cultured, which means the oysters are stimulated to apply nacre to a nucleus that has been artificially inserted into the oyster. But the only way to determine the thickness of the nacre is by x-raying the finished pearl. If the nacre is very thin, it can wear off or chip more easily. Pearls with very thin nacre, regardless of the surface quality, are of lesser value. If you buy a necklace comprised of 10 mm pearls, you have no real way of knowing whether the individual pearls have a 4 mm nucleus with a 3 mm layer of nacre or an 8 mm nucleus with a 1 mm layer of nacre. The former is more valuable than the latter, but I was unable to locate even one vendor in French Polynesia who would reveal this information. I am deeply suspicious that most of the pearls sold locally have thinner rather than thicker layers of nacre, since rapid turnover of the oysters to increase production volume has the negative result of thinner nacre.

If you intend to buy pearls while in French Polynesia, do your pre-cruise research. Check to see what the prices are in your home area, or even through reputable online sellers, so that you will have a basis for comparison. A 17-inch strand of 9-11 mm round dark pearls can be had online for under $3000. Even the beach vendor on Motu Mahana was asking almost $7000 for the same item.

I was personally interested in two things: a single loose pearl for collector purposes (I collect loose gem stones), and a pair of cufflinks with dark pearls. Loose pearls are offered in most of the shops in FP. But all of the 14 mm round dark loose pearls that I saw were priced well above $2500, some as much as $4000+. Truly giant pearls of the type I wanted (well above 14 mm) had 5-figure price tags. Yet 14mm loose pearls can be had through reputable online dealers for as little as $1000. Ditto cufflinks. One shop in Bora Bora wanted $550 for a pair of cufflinks, each of which contained a single round dark 9 mm pearl mounted on a simple base-metal setting. I have since found a similar item online, but with precious metal settings instead, for half that price.

But again, with a little pre-cruise research and some carefully diligent shopping, you can find some nice purchases. But you will not be getting any great bargains. You are just not going to find Tahitian pearls at bargain-basement, “it’s-a-steal” prices during your cruise. Caveat emptor.

Pareos (aka “sarongs”) are another hot tourist item in FP. But once again, careful shopping is required. Some of the pearl and vanilla farms, as well as the more pricey air-conditioned pier-side shops in Bora Bora, were selling pareos at 4200 francs each. I found the exact same items in alleyway shops or the Marche (Market) in Papeete at three for 5000 francs.

In general, if a shop is air-conditioned, expect the highest prices. And the closer to the tender pier, the higher the prices. The best prices are to be found among the individual vendors at card tables along the roadside or away from the center of tourist activity. And frankly, I felt much better buying my shark-tooth-and-single-pearl necklace from the elderly lady at the card table under the mango tree at the roadside in Bora Bora than I would have done had I bought a similar item in some glass case in a fancy shop in town. Especially since she was sitting there actually making the shell necklaces that she was selling.

Vanilla, whether whole beans, powder, or extract, is another hot tourist item. And the same rules apply. The PG gift shop sells shrink-wrapped bundles of about a dozen beans from Taha’a packaged in an attractive bamboo cylinder for $12. The exact same item purchased directly from the vanilla plantation on Taha’a itself sells for $7. Some places were selling larger packets of two or three dozen beans for as much as $110! Yet according to the very informative guide in Taha’a, you can buy a dozen beans and place them in “the cheapest white rum you can buy” to create your own extract that, according to her, “will last you for several years”.

I was amazed at the things people bought and the prices they paid. Each of us has our own taste, but what do people do with 4 (!) large rosewood purely-decorative outrigger paddles? Or a three-foot-tall tiki figure? Heck, I even commented as I was buying my shark-tooth-and-pearl necklace that I would probably wear it for not more than 3 days after I got home, then tuck it away in a drawer.

Tomorrow: Onboard Entertainment, Individual Ports, and Excursions.

Glad everyone seems to be enjoying my review.

As several of you noted in relation to tipping, French Polynesia is indeed becoming more westernized. A couple of the excursion guides (most notably the lovely lady who guided the tour between the ship and the Radisson day rooms on Tahiti) bemoaned at some length the increasing westernization among the rising Polyneisan generation. Seems many of them go off-island for the education and return later, bringing new-found habits with them. I heard lots of complaints about "kids today" that have little or no interest in their cultural heritage and traditional Polynesian ways. I found it interesting that some of the islands, especially Taha'a, quite aggressively limit access to the island by non-Polynesians, presumably to limit western influences and to preserve the traditional way of life. I applaud that.

I need to add a few amusing incidents to the Incidents and Accidents section above. These were all minor, and no one was harmed, so we all took them in a spirit of adventure. Poop will happen, ya know!

On one non-PG excursion in Fakarava, a outboard boat motor failed, giving rise to a fear that the passengers might be stranded and miss the ship's 5 PM departure. But after some time and tinkering, it started again and they made the last tender.

On a PG excursion, a large tree fell across the road in front of a jeep. Locals soon arrived with a chain-saw to hack it up and move it out of the way.

On another PG excursion, this one in Moorea, a jeep with six passengers dropped off the edge of a narrow concrete track on a sharply inclined road up to Magic Mountain. Both the front axle and the rear differential grounded out. It took half an hour and lots of arguing and sweat to get the jeep ungrounded, but we all enjoyed it immensely!

Expect the unexpected, and go with the flow!

This review, to be posted in pieces over several days, covers my trip on the M/S Paul Gauguin between 2 and 12 October 2013, the “Society Islands and Tuamotus” itinerary. I will address general topics in this thread. Two additional specialty threads will be posted, one on Dining and Food and the other on Diving.

First, let me say that I was very ambivalent about this cruise prior to departure. My previous cruise experience has been limited to a dozen voyages on Cunard (excellent) and two Princess cruises (Walmart-at-sea). As a solo traveler, I was concerned that I might be surrounded by lovey-dovey honeymooners, major-anniversary celebrants, and organized tour groups. And while each was present on the trip, I definitely did NOT feel isolated or uncomfortable. In fact, I had a great time meeting and greeting people from all over the world. More on that below under Social. My other concern centered on food. I am a “foodie”, and I know that provisioning a large ship in the remote South Pacific imposes certain major limitations. I was pleasantly surprised, however, as the food exceeded what I had hoped for and was at times better than what I’ve had on Cunard (though it’s not difficult to exceed Princess!). See the Dining and Food thread for an in-depth discussion.

Despite my pre-cruise trepidation, I enjoyed this cruise immensely. So much so that I am booking again for next year, same itinerary. The ship is beautiful, the crew is amazing, the itinerary is perfect, and the experience is magical. Of course there were occasional hiccups, but they were all part of the adventure, and most passengers took them well in stride. But even those for whom serious issues arose during the trip (see Incidents and Accidents below) still seemed to enjoy the trip overall and did not let those inconveniences spoil their fun. I know that a few past reviewers have questioned the claim by PG that it offers a “5-Star” experience, but I can only assume that those reviewers were unreasonably demanding. My experience was definitely “5-Star” and exceeded my highest hopes.

GETTING THERE:

I used the PG air package, taking Air Tahiti Nui from LAX on the morning of embarkation. I do NOT recommend this option. ATN was fine ... I have no real complaint there. It’s the timing that did not work for me. After driving 2.5 hours from my home in Palm Springs to LAX, checking in as early as modern security restrictions require, flying over 8 hours, and transferring to the ship, I was absolutely delirious with fatigue and jetlag. The flight arrived at 9:30 PM, but it took over an hour to get through immigration and customs at the airport, so that we got to the ship at about 11PM. It was well after midnight local time when I got to the cabin, got unpacked, and got to bed. Yet in order to make the excursions the following day in the first port of call, Huahine, I had to be out of bed by 7AM. So I had less than 7 hours sleep, and thus started my trip in a state of exhaustion. It took me three days to “catch up”. Next time, I will fly Hawaiian Airlines from LAX to Honolulu, overnight there, then fly on to Tahiti and arrive at a civilized afternoon hour, free of jetlag and without rushing around.

My ATN flight was on the “Rangiroa”, one of the newly outfitted planes. And it was very nice. Bright, colorful, clean, very nice cabin crew. The seats were perhaps a bit narrow (they have a 2-4-2 configuration, but a 2-3-2 would have been MUCH better) and the cabin a bit cold (the crew were wearing fleece jackets!), but that’s modern air travel for you.

We arrived in a pouring rain and had to run across the tarmac to the terminal building (no jetways). The high humidity was like a slap in the face. We were greeted by a group of Tahitian singers and dancers, which made the long wait to clear passport control a little less painful. PG reps met us on the other side with smiles and leis, which lightened the mood considerably. On to an air-conditioned tour bus while PG managed my luggage for me, then a quick drive to the ship. We had to walk only about 20 feet from the bus to the gangway, which is good when you are too tired to walk! More smiling crew greeted us with champagne in the Grand Salon for a very quick registration, then we were escorted off to our cabins. All very smooth, well-organized, and relatively painless. The ship sailed exactly on time at 11:55 PM and without fanfare.

ACCOMMODATIONS:

I was in cabin 318, a lower level cabin with two large portholes. I thought the cabin itself was superb, exceeding any balcony-level cabin on Cunard (and of course it FAR exceeded Princess). It was very clean, and nicely decorated with Polynesian things, including a large stone tiki in a little wall niche. One wall was almost entirely mirrored, which gave a sense of greater space. There was ample closet space, and lots of cubbyholes in the wall for additional storage. The mini-fridge was fully stocked with Coca-Cola, Sprite, one American brand of beer (Budweiser, I think) and Heineken, and lots of bottled water. A tray of fresh fruit was on the table together with a plate, knife, and napkin. There was a small alarm clock on the desk, a hairdryer in the closet, a small sewing kit, waffle-weave bathrobe and terrycloth slippers, a nice nylon drawstring carry-bag with the PG logo, and even a large umbrella for use on shore excursions!

But the highlight for me was the bathroom. All white, marble floor, and a bathtub rather than the micro-showers seen on so many other ships. Lots of storage cabinets in the bathroom, too. Nice rack above the tub for drying wet things, which was a great convenience. My only complaint might be that hot water was not always available, especially right after excursions when every shower on the ship was probably running. The bath products were numerous and appeared higher end, though I did actually not use any of them.

Cabin service was outstanding. My stewardess, April Jane, was exceptionally quick to learn my habits and to anticipate my needs. And she was always very friendly and smiling. She even picked up, folded, and stacked my dirty clothes and hung wet swimsuits on the rack above the tub (until I got embarrassed and started doing it myself)! I left her a generous additional tip.

I did order room service breakfast four times on this trip, something I rarely do otherwise. But I wanted to see how efficient they were. The order form offers half-hour windows for delivery (e.g.: 7-7:30 AM), and on every occasion but one it arrived very precisely, literally to the minute, at the beginning of that window. One the fourth occasion, it arrived at the end, but still within the time window. And the orders were always correct and still hot. I was impressed.

SOCIAL:

As I said above, I was a bit nervous about the social aspects of this trip. To be quite frank, no one would ever mistake me for heterosexual. And older Americans are notoriously homophobic. Combine that with my age (55) and the fact that I was traveling alone, and I was convinced that I was going to have a very solitary cruise. I could not have been more wrong. Yes, there were certainly those who made no effort to hide their contempt for my “lifestyle” (including one crew member, the French AV technician), but they were very few in number and easy to avoid. Several couples, including both young honeymooners and older anniversary celebrants, were very friendly and frequently invited me to dine with them. The divers formed a little common-interest group that I was able to participate in quite easily. And the various excursions facilitated a lot of socializing that tended to continue even after re-boarding the ship. At no time did I feel at all lonely, isolated, or deliberately excluded. I had a great time meeting new people and hearing their stories. And some even seemed to enjoy my own long-winded tales!

There were about 270 passengers on this cruise. Of those, the vast majority (156) were Americans. There were 62 from Canada, including about two dozen participating in a retirement celebration for a physician. France had 12 aboard, and the UK had 11. The rest were a mix of Argentinians (4), Australians (5), Brazilians (4), Chileans (3), Germans (2), Dutch (3), New Zealanders (4), Norwegians (3), and one each from Belgium, Mexico, and Russia (all based on passport rather than residency).

There were quite a few late-marrying 30-somethings on honeymoon, but the age range was largely skewed well north of 50. One older lady seemed largely confined to a wheelchair, and another used a walker throughout the trip. One gentleman looked as though he might expire at any moment. But for the most part, even the older folks were quite active. And indeed, PG is NOT a lay-around-by-the-pool kind of cruise. This is an ACTIVITY-oriented cruise line with an appreciable level of physical exertion required.

In addition to the retirement party group mentioned above, I spotted one extended family group, at least two tour groups, and many groups of two and three couples traveling together. There was only one person under age 18 on the ship: a little girl of about three that became the darling of passengers and crew alike. There were three older lesbian couples, but I think I was the only gay man among the passengers (there were several others among the crew).

TIPPING:

PG does state in its promotional materials that all tips are included and has a brief blurb to the effect that tipping is not a normal part of Polynesian culture. PG also states that passengers should feel free to acknowledge favorite crew members, if so desired. Well, I passed out tips quite generously, I must say. Service was far superior to anything I have ever experienced with Cunard, and the crew was clearly working very, very hard to meet every request or requirement. The maitre-d’ in the restaurants and the two head waiters personally escorted each passenger to a table at every sitting, offering each lady their arm. Waiters and bartenders remembered beverage preferences after the first encounter. And everyone seemed to know my name even before I met them for the first time. So much so that the on-board gossip turned to speculation about photos being passed around below deck to teach the crew members all of our names! Given this exceptionally high level of service and attentiveness throughout, I really wanted to tip several people, including the cabin stewardess and the dining room staff (I sat at the same table most nights and so had the same waiter most nights).

Shore excursions were another matter entirely. On a couple of the trips, it was quite clear that the guides actually *expected* to be tipped. One in particular even went into a protracted schpeel about the difficulties of feeding a family in Polynesia, plucking at our heartstrings to stimulate a tip. On a couple of occasions, I was more than happy to tip the guide. On others, I did not do so. The less they said about their living conditions, the more likely I was to tip. I do not like to be coerced.

In short, disregard PG’s statements about tipping. Use your own conscience as your guide and do as you would do at home.

INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS:

This cruise was noteworthy for the very high number of incidents and accidents among the passengers. I do not know whether we were an exception among PG cruises, or if this might be the norm. I suspect it is the norm.

In Bora Bora (Day 3), two middle-aged men rented motorscooters to drive around the island. One hit gravel and lost control of the scooter and the other crashed into him. The second gentleman spent the next several days with painful road rash on arms and legs, wrapped in bandages and hobbling on crutches. But no broken bones, thankfully.

Several people got seriously sunburned, to the point of large blisters forming across the shoulders. The sun is ridiculously merciless so close to the Equator, so be generous with the sun screen, and wear hats, sunglasses, and coverups!

One honeymoon couple nearly had their honeymoon ruined when a minor scratch on the groom’s ankle, after being in the ocean, became severely infected. Over time, it progressed to a significant cellulitis that required IV antibiotics while onboard and transfer to the hospital in Papeete immediately upon re-docking in Tahiti.

Even I was not immune. I suffered a baro-trauma to my right ear while diving in Fakarava and lost hearing in that ear for the remainder of the trip. Others slipped on dive ladders and smashed knees and heads, and one lady got bit by a stingray and developed a swollen hand.

More significantly, some kind of stomach bug did run through the passengers during the trip. I picked it up on about Day 3, and it left me feeling queasy and exhausted for about 3 days. I did not eat at all for one entire day. I talked to many others who had it as well, some to the point of vomiting and being confined to bed. Even some of the crew came down with it. It did not seem to be a true norovirus, but rather some kind of relatively minor stomach bug. I could never decide whether it was in the food or the water, but I started insisting on only bottled water at meals, and that seemed to help in my case.

Seasickness - The PG is remarkably stable for a smaller vessel, and most of the anchorages are exceptionally calm and in protected lagoons. I did sense motion when we were in transit between islands, but it was never significant. Compared to the North Atlantic in January, this was like floating on a calm lake. I was not aware of anyone who complained of seasickness, though the behind-the-ear patches were everywhere as preventatives (probably unnecessary).

We did have one amusing incident. In Bora Bora, as we returned to the ship via the tender, a young lady spotted a mildly obese man sunning himself on his cabin balcony, immediately above the tender landing. Seemingly oblivious to his surroundings and common courtesy, the man was very apparently entirely naked. The young lady on the tender began shouting "Naked Man! Naked Man!" and pointing. The man did seem to hear her, since he quickly "re-arranged" himself so as to be less indecently conspicuous. And he was never spotted again on subsequent days!

WEATHER:

Wow, we got lucky! With the exception of just two very brief 10-minute showers, we had outstanding weather! Skirting, puffy clouds, bright blue skies, and lots of sunshine. The sea swell was never more than 2 feet, if that much. The lagoons were amazingly calm. But the wind was occasionally very brisk, even at anchor. And the sun was murder. You simply cannot imagine how strongly it beats down! And once you get ashore, the cooling sea breeze stops about 50 feet inland and the heat takes over. So when on excursions, take plenty of water and sun screen or coverups!

To its great credit, PG offered one truly exceptional but necessary on-shore amenity. At every tender drop-off and pick-up point, a Gauguin or Gauguine manned a small table with cold water and iced tea, a few chairs, and a large canvas umbrella to offer some shade while we waited for the tenders. But the best part was the large ice cooler full of handtowels soaked in refreshing cold water for wiping off your face and hands. I began to look forward to those toward the end of every shore excursion!

CURRENCY:

French Polynesian Francs are the local currency, and the ship does offer currency exchange at the Reception Desk. Most on-shore vendors do take US dollars and Euros, but no other currencies. The rate offered by vendors on shore varies widely, however, and is usually less than what is offered by the ship. Credit cards are taken in most shops, and even by some independent roadside vendors, with charges processed only in Francs. If you pay in dollars, your change will be in Francs, which makes the exchange rate even worse. I do recommend taking plenty of Polynesian Francs with you when you leave home. And always have a few thousand francs (one dollar = about 850 francs) in cash when going ashore for the little odds and ends too small to charge to a card. Doing so will greatly ease the mind-tease of calculating an exchange on the spur of the moment.

More tomorrow, including Entertainment and Shore Excursions

Thanks again for the reassurance, Family. I feel as though I am pretty good at mingling on cruise ships, but was concerned that PG might be only "goo-goo-eyed" couples. Adn I am more accustomed to numerous days at-sea, with passengers participating in on-board activities on those days ... which actually fosters more social interaction, I suspect, than would shore excursions every day. But as I said, you have reassured me, and I am confident the trip will be a total success!

First, let me say a huge THANK YOU for your outstanding review and summary of your experience with PG! I have a booking for the 2 Oct 2013 sailing, 10-night Society Islands and Tuamotus, but was vacillating about whether or not to go. I am traveling solo, and the added "single supplement" is considerable! I was unsure whether or not I would enjoy the ship itself enough to justify fully the relatively high cost. However, your wonderful photos and descriptions resolved that doubt. Clearly the ship meets or exceeds all of my needs and expectations! Also, you posted menus ... that was a massive help! I am a "foodie" and was very worried about food on a small ship in a place where so much has to be air-cargoed in. Judging by the menus, the food is entirely appropriate in relation to the total cost of the cruise.

I am concerned, however, about traveling alone on PG. I do it all the time on Cunard, but I gather from your descriptions that the passengers on your PG trip were largely honeymooners, second-honeymooners, wedding annivesary celebrants, or travel groups. I am wondering how much I will stick out like a sore thumb as a 55-year-old never-married male traveling alone if the other passengers are all (or mostly) couples celebrating their "coupleness". I'm not much worried about the "onboard" experience, but rather about the shore excursion experience ... becoming the third (or fifth or seventh) wheel in the group. Did you notice any solo travelers, or people who took excursions without their spouses?

Again, thanks for the amazing review and summary. It really did serve to cement my plan to go as scheduled. I am now confident that the trip will be amazing!