Here's My 20+ Page Splendor Review/Cruise Journal!!

[CalmCruiserNC]

Hi, Everyone!

 

We just returned from our "Splendor Meets Hurricane Jimena" cruise — and as my different-thing-to-do activity on this voyage, I decided to keep a daily review in the form of a journal. I still have a bit of editing to do, but I thought I'd start posting it. I hope you find it an interesting read —*and learn a bit about what to expect if you're planning a trip on the Splendor!

 

Here’s a SUMMARY for those of you in too much of a hurry to read 20+ pages:

 

A baker’s dozen random positive aspects:

 

- The price simply could not be beat

- Calmest seas we have ever experienced in spite of the hurricane

- Bonus onboard credits and 25% future cruise discount due to hurricane

- Most comfortable bed we’ve ever had

- Nicely-equipped gym facilities

- Very spacious, well-appointed veranda stateroom

- Adults-only/non-smoking Serenity Deck and Lido Liner Pool Area

- Pinnacle Steakhouse offers SUPERB food and service

- ALL Carnival staff members have been VERY friendly

- LOTS of free drinks at Captain’s Welcome, Future Cruisers, Past Cruiser events

- Unlimited soft drinks and fruit juices sticker is a BARGAIN!

- Lots of trivia and games to join and meet other passengers

- Disembarkation was a BREEZE

 

A baker’s dozen random negative aspects:

 

- Extremely crowded Lido Buffet and Interior Promenade areas

- Late night noise levels makes rooms on Upper Deck less-than-desirable

- Food onboard was really just OK — and we’re easy to please!

- The clocks around ship were always incorrect -- so don't rely on them

- Never-ending photo ops — and the shots are EXPENSIVE and grainy.

- LOTS of kids, LOTS of obnoxious adults, LOTS of smokers

- The ship’s layout is confusing and often inconvenient

- Doors on the balconies SLAM shut — VERY noisy and VERY dangerous

- Formal night dress code is widely ignored and apparently never enforced

- Our shower always flooded the bathroom floor no matter what we did

- Spa services are absurdly priced — and you get pressured to buy stuff

- Production shows just aren’t what they used to be

- Lifeboat drill was stifling HOT

 

Overall, we had a GREAT time — so the positives in my review will easily outweigh the negatives —*and we would definitely love to cruise on Splendor again!

 

Here come the details!!!

[CalmCruiserNC]

Our adventure begins!

 

We flew from Charlotte to LA a day prior to embarkation. Even though the flight was rerouted south to San Diego and then up the coastline because of the massive forest fire raging in the mountains above LA, the flight landed 45 minutes early!

 

We were met at the airport by a business associate, Greg. His home is up on the Mount Washington area of LA. It’s a 100+ year old Craftsman-style originally built as a sanitarium — and now, an absolutely STUNNING home. From one of the home’s terraces, we had an unobstructed view of the fire some 10 miles off in the distance. Greg’s wife, Elena, prepared a wonderful luncheon on the grill – chicken, asparagus, potatoes – and we lingered at the table sharing stories of our travels.

 

After lunch, Greg and Elena drove us down to our hotel in Long Beach. We had found a great deal online at the Best Western Hotel at Convention Center and we were extremely impressed by the facility. Clean, modern decor, great location and the softest bed we ever had.

 

The four of us went exploring the downtown area a bit and headed over to Pine Street at the recommendation of the front desk clerk. What she didn’t tell us was that there was a fantastic jazz/funk music festival in full swing – and what an unexpected bonus that was!

 

We had dinner at King’s Fish House at the corner of Pine and Broadway. Greg and Elena both had Soft Shell Crab Po’ Boys, which they said were great. My wife, Linda, who is NOT a sushi person, decided to be adventurous and had the Salmon Tataki Wild Roll. She said she was sure it was excellent by sushi standards, but decided she still wasn’t a sushi person. I originally ordered the crab cakes, but the waiter strongly suggested I try their wild salmon cakes instead, and his recommendation was right on – they were delicious!

 

After dinner, we listened to a couple more of the performers, headed back to the hotel and bid a fond farewell to Greg and Elena. Factoring in the 3-hour time difference, our heads hit the pillow at 1AM Charlotte time – a bit early as far at the clock on the bedside table said, but we were tired.

[CalmCruiserNC]

Day 1: Embarkation —

 

Before we headed over to the ship, we needed to repack our giant suitcases. You would think that with all of our travel experience, we would have thought ahead and put the items we needed for last night and today at the top of the suitcase, but you’d be wrong! So we pretty much dismantled our packing jobs in pursuit of simple things.

 

We also needed to find a drug store to grab a few things we neglected to pack. No worries though … within a four block radius of the hotel, we found a Walgreen’s, CVS, Albertson’s, Von’s, and a Walmart – ALL of which were open before 9AM on a Sunday!

 

We took a taxi over to the port around 10AM and were immediately informed that because of Hurricane Jimena, our itinerary had been changed. We would now be visiting Catalina on Monday and Ensenada on Tuesday instead of two days at sea. They said they had no idea how the storm would affect the remainder of the cruise and would keep us informed. We were given a $50 per person OBC and a 25% discount on any future sailing until May 31, 2011. We’re happy as happy can be, because we could not possibly have cared less where the ship goes, since we haven’t visited any of the ports on the western coastline of Mexico.

 

Embarkation could only be described as one word: EFFORTLESS. We dropped off our bags with a porter and had absolutely no wait whatsoever to get checked in. We were given a zone 2 boarding pass and knew we had a couple of hours to kill, so we decided to use the Queen Mary 2-4-1 admission coupon a gal in a WWII uniform handed us at the port and explore the ship. It’s definitely a beautiful ship with a fascinating history, but be forewarned, the self-guided tour is LONG, there’s a lot of steps to go up and down, and a great deal of the tour is on the outside decks, which were HOT, HOT, HOT!!

 

Noon on the Queen Mary was a startling experience to say the least! We were in the midst of our tour, and I was walking down an exterior staircase immediately outside of the bridge when the ship’s horns, barely a few feet from me, nearly BLASTED me off of my feet! I literally lost my footing – was so disoriented by the sound – so shocked by the suddenness of it all – that my wife said it looked like I was having a heart attack — and it kinda felt that way too! It would have made for a hysterical youtube video, I’m sure!

 

They had already started boarding when we returned to the terminal about 1PM – WAY past Zone 2 — and there was quite a mob of people waiting to get into the terminal. I popped in line and my wife decided to walk over to of the many EXTREMELY friendly Carnival staff members, showed her gold S&S card and said, “Where are we supposed to go?” The staff gal waved me over to join her and next thing you know, we’re being whisked through the VIP line! Obviously, we’re NOT VIP guests — but who are we to question Carnival staff??? We were through security, stopped at the obligatory embarkation photo opportunity and were sitting on the upper lido deck in LESS than 10 minutes.

 

Linda grabbed some food and I bought a soft drink card, and next thing you know, we’re sitting overlooking the Lido Pool, enjoying the steel band. Be aware that if you purchase anything while the ship is in port, you pay Los Angeles sales tax on it! As we had learned on CruiseCritic, passengers tend to congregate around the first set of buffet stations closest to the Lido Pool and compete for tables around the pool. Yet, immediately above the Lido Pool — in CLEAR view — is another deck of tables that were virtually empty – and the buffet lines at the aft section of the restaurant had the same food, a rotisserie, a Burrito station — and virtually no waiting! There was a great selection of food available, from the usual buffet fare to a grill, tandoori and deli bar. Everything we ate was tasty enough to satisfy our far-from-gourmet palettes.

 

About 45 minutes later, we were scheduled to go to our CruiseCritic Meet & Greet – and hoping the Embarkation God was continuing to favor us, we popped down to our stateroom (6437, a standard veranda on the Upper Deck) to see if it was ready for us.

 

Not only was our room ready, our bags were WAITING for us before 2PM! So we dropped off our carry-ons, put on our Mardi Gras beads and headed for the Lido Liner Bar to meet our fellow CruiseCritic members.

 

What a fun bunch of people they are! It was nice to get to know some of our fellow passengers and begin some new friendships for our journey. We hung out until just before the lifeboat drill.

 

The lifeboat drill itself was the first time I found myself comparing Carnival to Princess, with whom we’ve cruised on a half-dozen occasions. Carnival has everyone muster at their assigned lifeboats, packed together like sardines on a way-too-hot exterior corridor – a sweaty and stifling hint of what it would be like in the event we actually needed to board the boats! Princess, unless things have changed in recent years, has passengers muster in the lounge and showroom areas -- away from the elements -- where they give the life vest demonstration, show you the proper way to jump off the ship, and explain that there are many reasons we may be called to muster that have nothing to do with an immediate need to evacuate the ship. We like their logic and their procedures better than Carnival’s approach.

 

One final note on the lifeboat drill for all of the parents reading this. On behalf of all of your fellow passengers, DO NOT permit your children to blow the whistles on the life vests! It is NOT a toy. It is NOT cute. It is NOT acceptable behavior. Add to that that you have absolutely no idea how many children have blown those same whistles before your children deposited their saliva on them — and that while you’re actually allowing your children to put a disgusting, germ-laden thing in their mouths you’re simultaneously making a terribly unpleasant experience FAR worse for the HUNDREDS of passengers around you. Seriously, WHAT are you thinking?

 

After the lifeboat drill, we unpacked. As far as the stateroom is concerned, I have to tell you that there is FAR more storage space than we needed — and my wife and I routinely overpack for a cruise. The stateroom is really quite a nice, large space for two. The balcony is a bit small compared to those we’ve had on other ships — and you have to maneuver chairs a bit to open the door and climb over each other (not in a good way) if you need to move about. Nevertheless, it’s a very private balcony and we’re thrilled to have it! However, this is the first time we’ve had a balcony with a door that SWINGS open instead of SLIDES open – and that makes the space feel more cramped than it really is and adds the unpleasant sound of countless doors slamming shut all around you when you’re standing on your balcony looking out at the sea hoping for a serene moment. You would think that people would take a few extra courteous seconds to close the door quietly, but we’ve come to accept the sad but steady decay of civilized behavior aboard cruise ships.

 

One more note about the balcony doors, particularly for parents. The balcony doors (in fact, all of the doors on the ship) are so heavy and close so hard and so fast that a child could lose a finger in an instant (so could an adult for that matter). So if you’re going to allow them to use the door, make sure they’ve been warned about the dangers (and the noise!).

 

I decided to get a workout in before dinner. The gym is EXCELLENT. At least a couple of dozen treadmills, elliptical striders and various bikes – and all of the weightlifting equipment a serious gymrat needs. There were only a handful of people in the gym at 6PM and that made me a very happy man! Yet another advantage of late seating!!

 

We were assigned a table for 8 in the Black Pearl Dining Room, late seating. Our table, #112 on the lower level, was alongside a window offering a view of the underside of a lifeboat, but a VIEW nevertheless. The décor is definitely over-the-top, but that was expected. Our tablemates were very nice people and our waiter and assistant waiter were friendly and efficient and learned our names and preferences right away. The food itself was well prepared and perfectly adequate though uninspired — tasty but not scrumptious in my wife’s words. That’s just fine for me, since I’m not on a cruise for the food. I guess I should say now that if you’re reading this review to get a feel for the food, we’re probably not the people you should be asking. My wife and I are both in our early 50’s, I’m a former bodybuilder and my wife is a naturally petite woman. For me, food is nothing more than fuel and a distraction from “the program.” For her, food is NOT the most important part of the dining experience – getting dressed up and enjoying conversation in an elegant setting is what it’s all about for her. I had the SPA menu selections, Tropical Fruit (meh), Gazpacho (yummy), Talapia (not bad at all) and fruit for desert (nice). My wife had a shrimp cocktail (excellent sauce), Caesar salad (too much dressing but ok), babyback ribs (good but not meaty) and fruit for desert as well. She did order a baked potato but was served fries instead, which was a disappointing error, but not something she chose to bring to the waiter’s attention. One thing we noticed was that dinner in the MDR was far quicker than on any ship we’ve experienced – 90 minutes tops.

 

OH – the MDR and the ship in general was FRIGID – an absolute ICE BOX. That didn’t bother me personally, since I’m always complaining about how hot I am – but everyone else at our table – and many, many of the passengers we spoke with — commented on the chilly conditions.

 

We wandered around bit, but decided to enjoy a nightcap on our balcony and turn in early. For those of you considering a stateroom on the Upper Deck in the aft section, choose your room carefully. Our room is NOT directly above any of the clubs (it’s over the Mojito Bar) but we could still hear and FEEL the disco when it kicked into gear at 11PM. It really didn’t bother us much though, since we’re both earplug sleepers — and a nightcap always helps too!

[CalmCruiserNC]

Day 2: Catalina Island —

 

We had a great night’s sleep. The beds on this ship are soft and comfy – not quite “luxurious” but definitely a big step above anything we’ve had on other cruises.

 

Since the ship only had to travel some 30 miles to get from Long Beach to Catalina Island, we sailed slowly, barely creating a break in the surface of the water, so the night was calm as calm could be. We were awakened by the sound of the tenders being lowered from the ship at 7AM and got ready for our day. Ladies, an important message from my wife: BRING YOUR OWN HAIRDRYER. The hairdryers provided in the stateroom are definitely hot enough BUT you have to hold the trigger the entire time you’re using the dryer. A week of that could leave you with a case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

 

So we set off to breakfast — and true to what so many other reviewers have shared, the Lido buffet area can be absurdly congested – there is simply not enough space for people to maneuver around one another, particularly with trays of food. The lines were VERY long. Didn’t affect us personally, since we just headed for the fruit/cereal/yogurt bar and there wasn’t another soul competing against us for anything remotely healthy!

 

After breakfast, we headed down to the Morocco Lounge to get our tender assignment, and less than 15 minutes later, we were on our way to Catalina.

 

We’re definitely not into organized excursions, but we do learn a lot from the descriptions of the tours, and one place in particular caught our eye – the Wrigley Botanical Garden. The ship was offering a $39.95 per person 1.75-hour bus tour of the area including shopping in Avalon and a 30-minute visit at the gardens. Seemed too quick and too pricey to us. We instead took a $2 open-air trolley up to the gardens, enjoying a lovely scenic drive along the way, paid $5 admission and easily spent the next 90 minutes exploring what has to be the most fascinating collection of cacti, succulents and indigenous plants we’ve seen anywhere. The highlight of the gardens is the massive memorial for Mr. Wrigley of chewing gum fame. It’s quite a workout to climb the stone 100+ steps to the top of the memorial, but we were rewarded with a magnificent view down the valley and out to Avalon Bay, cool breezes and absolute serenity. For almost 15 minutes we had the balcony overlook from the memorial all to ourselves and enjoyed the sounds of nothing but nature – not so much as a single human voice off in the distance. Not a bad place for eternal rest!

 

We took the trolley over to the Casino and slowly walked back into town. Along the way, we found a great little courtyard of shops and a rooftop restaurant overlooking the bay called the Landing. Definitely a great spot to stop for a margarita and a little snack. We were joined by a couple of friends we had met on the ship and lingered there for another hour or so, enjoying the views.

 

Compared to the ship’s excursion, we spent $18 instead of $80, spent triple the time at the garden WITHOUT the crowd of a tour and probably saw 90% of what the tour would have shown us. Not bad!!

 

Back onboard, it was time for me to head to the gym. That’s when the Captain gave us an update about Hurricane Jimena. He said that the storm could only be described as a “monster” with sustained winds in excess of 155 mph – barely shy of a category 5 and gaining power. The size of the storm is hundreds of miles across, it’s moving at 10 mph to the northwest and is predicted to slam into Cabo San Lucas at full force within the next 24 hours.

 

As it stands now, we will head down to Cabo after our day in Ensenada – but we suspect that Cabo will be in no condition to receive us — so who knows where we will actually be going next. This could be the shortest 7-day cruise in history, traveling from Long Beach to Catalina, Catalina to Ensenada, and Ensenada to San Diego or nowhere. If it weren’t for the fact that we’re staying far enough away from shore for the shops and casino to be open — and that we’re meandering rather aimlessly — the total journey will barely break 100 miles. At no time so far has the ship moved faster than 9 knots! Now, let me repeat that my wife and I don’t care where the ship goes or doesn’t go, and we’re all for avoiding behemoth, ship-eating hurricanes — so you’ll hear no complaints from us about the itinerary!

 

I do have a couple of criticisms about the ship itself. The public spaces are VERY poorly planned. Lounges consume vast areas and there are rarely enough people in them to justify the dedicated space. Along the interior promenade on Deck 5, there’s a long, long row of beautiful leather banquette sofas with only the occasional passenger using them. But just TRY to look for your photos, or visit the shops in the evenings, or walk from the restaurant to the showroom and you’re in for a mob encounter! So much wasted space – yet so much congestion! Makes no sense to us.

 

My biggest criticism for the day has really nothing to do with the Splendor or with Carnival itself – it has to do with the photographic services on ALL vessels these days. They’re an irresponsible environmental abomination – wasting tens of thousands of pieces of photographic paper with who knows how many hundreds of gallons of ink on them being tossed into the trash infinitely more frequently that photos are being purchased. Newsflash!! We do have the technology to give passengers an even better photographic experience – FACIAL RECOGNITION software just like they have on the new Apple Macs. Imagine that once your photo is taken for your S&S card, from that point forward, every photo taken with your face in it is placed in a folder just for you. Then, from the leisure of your stateroom or computers in the photo area, you could instantly see every shot you’re in and then choose which shots you’d like them to print out -- or better yet, pay a set fee for all of the shots to be downloaded to a disk. I’m sure the day will come – and the sooner the better, IMHO! We make it a strict point to bypass all photo ops just so we’re not contributing to the waste.

 

Dinner in the Black Pearl was much as it was the night before – tasty enough and perfectly adequate. My wife had her usual shrimp cocktail starter and a Caesar salad. She loved the mushroom soup, but her filet mignon was a wee bit on the tough side. I had the SPA selections, which included a vegetable sort of pasta concoction (yummy), a mixed green salad (yawn) and broiled red snapper on a gazpacho sauce (very nice). At under 500 calories for the entire meal, I’m a happy man. I have to say that as someone who takes staying in shape after 50 very seriously, I’m finding it very easy to stay “on the program” and still enjoy the ship’s offerings.

 

As for desert, my wife ordered the infamous Warm Chocolate Melting Cake. She had a couple of nibbles of it (she’s not really into desserts) and I tried a bite just to see what all the fuss is about. Sadly, it seemed like a lukewarm cup of undercooked brownie batter to me. Somehow, the waiter thought it was our anniversary (which really isn’t for another week) and brought a slice of the apple pie with a candle in it. The pie was, in our opinion, FAR better than the melting cake.

 

One other personal preference I’ll share — and I do NOT intend this as a criticism – but I hate hoopla at dinner. I’m dining in an elegant restaurant and I don’t what to hear the maitre’d doing standup comedy or watch the waiters dancing to Motown hits. It really does diminish the experience for me. After 16 cruises, I accept that every evening will have it’s share of birthday, anniversary and honeymoon songs – and I suspect that sometime this week I will have to endure a baked Alaska parade – but a line needs to be drawn somewhere.

 

One last dinner note at my wife’s request. At the risk of repeating something I said earlier, be forewarned that the public rooms on the Splendor are particularly FRIGID – it’s a veritable floating refrigerator. Again, it didn’t bother me personally, but it was a major topic of discussion with everyone we talked to and many of the discussions we overheard. My wife actually inquired about the temperature situation, and she received a non-sensical response, “It’s because we’re regulating the system.” ¿Que?

 

We strolled around deck for a while and headed to bed for a nightcap and our earplugs. We slept like babies in spite of the fact that the disco was in full swing again. Again, our room is NOT directly above the disco but we can easily hear and FEEL the music, so I pity the poor people who foolishly choose rooms above the clubs!

[CalmCruiserNC]

Day 3: Time for Ensenada!

 

For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, directly translated from the most ancient dialect, “Ensenada” means “stay on the ship.” There’s a similar word among the Caribbean languages, “Jamaica.”

 

So I’ve decided to spend the day sitting in my favorite spot – the Lido Liner Bar – just steps away from the Tandoori Grill and the Deli, sources of abundant food choices that are “on the program,” and unlimited refills on my Diet Coke. With cool breezes and a great view of the GIANT flag flying over Ensenada, I’m as close to Mexico as I care to get today!

 

I did promise myself that I would do a little work-related writing while on the cruise, so I got started – well, at least I worked until lunch started 25 minutes later!!

 

For lunch, I decided to devote my plate to the Tandoori Grill – and while it’s not the finest Indian cuisine I’ve ever had, it was VERY tasty! In addition to the Indian dishes, the offerings included several Mediterranean choices, including a Greek salad, tzadziki, and hummus. They actually produce a GREAT piece of naan too – but watch out for that garlic dip if you have smooching your sweetie on the agenda for the afternoon! I’d definitely recommend it – and there’s no crowd to deal with. (That applies to both the Tandoori Grill AND smooching your sweetie!)

 

This area of the ship has a pool and two hot tubs dedicated to adults, but because the Tandoori Grill and the Deli are both back here, kids do come and go. I will simply never understand why kids have to be so LOUD no matter what they’re doing — but that being said, in spite of the postings about herds of out-of-control kids onboard Carnival, so far, I haven’t noticed them misbehaving all that often or all that badly. It might be because we don’t hang out in the family-friendly areas of the ship, but as a childless-by-choice couple who’re very sensitive to the chaos that accompanies junior humans, their presence on Splendor has been a non-issue.

 

The same can also be said for smokers. If readers were to believe the postings here on Cruise Critic, you’d be left wondering if you’re going to be trapped for a week in a vent-less speakeasy, populated with chain-smoking rejects from an emphysema ward — and as someone who truly thinks that smoking is a profoundly disgusting addiction masquerading as a “personal choice,” I must say that, so far, I have rarely encountered it on board. That might be because we don’t hang out in the areas of the ship where the smokers congregate, but obviously, the ship has plenty of room to insulate non-smokers from the unwanted side effects of that archaic habit.

 

Linda has enjoyed one of her favorite ways to pass time on a cruise … playing trivia. So far, the sessions have not been very well attended, but there haven’t been any sea days yet – and those who do participate certainly have a good time. She’s looking forward to something other than trivia, like Pictionary or Scattergories. She’s also gone to a couple of the dance classes that were both fun and well attended.

 

I spent a good deal of the afternoon on the adults-only Serenity Deck – and the place is a ghost town, which means I LOVE it! There’s plenty of space in the shade and in the sun, and the furniture is very nice and well padded. I do wish they had a few tables that were high enough to play cards, but that’s the only change I would make up there. (Well, the 70+ year-old man with the flabby, hairless body in the micro-thong isn’t really adding much to the ambiance, but at least he’s not hanging around the kiddie pool!) One thing to watch out for though is errant golfballs from the putt-putt course on the deck above. If you don’t choose your chair wisely, you might just get hit in the head!

 

I headed back the gym for the second part of my daily workout and then popped over to the Pressing Room on Deck 6 to iron my outfit for tonight. We’re heading to the Pinnacle Steakhouse and I want to look spiffy. We haven’t looked for the laundry facilities, but there are PLENTY of irons and ironing boards and no waiting to use them.

 

I also want to have new headshots taken for business purposes, and a cruise ship IS the cheapest place on the planet to get a good one taken ($22 for each photo you choose to buy and there’s no obligation to buy any at all). Add to that the fact that the photographers are EAGER to take your photo every time you pass near a camera and the selection of shots you could ultimately have to choose from is far broader than anything you’re likely to get on shore. I also learned that if you tell any of the photographers that you are specifically interested in having headshots taken, they will assign you to a photographer that specializes in close up work. Let’s hope I get a good shot taken!

 

While we were getting dressed for dinner, the Captain made an announcement about the hurricane. Jemina has passed to the west of Cabo and will be making landfall in the next 24 hours, making continuing our voyage south possible. That’s great for us, but it’s particularly great for the people of Cabo San Lucas since they’ve been spared any major damage. Talk around the ship had been that even if the weather allowed us to travel safely to Cabo, that the storm could have severely damaged the town and the port itself, leaving us still unable to visit. But we’ve been informed that the town’s biggest issue has been flooding from the heavy rainfall. The Captain has given us periodic updates, filled with far more data than any of us need and few of us can truly understand, but it’s clear he’s confident in the choice he’s made to continue heading south. One fun fact to know and tell is that hurricanes in this area are quite rare and only two have made landfall on the Baja Peninsula since 1949. Of course, it only takes US planning a vacation to change that statistic!!

 

Our dinner reservations at the Pinnacle were for 8PM, but we were dressed and ready to go by 6:30PM, so we thought, “Let’s try a little sushi appetizer!” Last night, the sushi bar had been transformed into a Tapas Bar … and it looked AMAZING. Sadly, we weren’t hungry then. Tonight, the area around the sushi bar was very crowded and earlier there were easily a couple of dozen people waiting in line. But now, we were able to walk right up and were handed a plate of three little pieces of dull and boring sushi. Linda, as I mentioned earlier, doesn’t really like anything other than California Roll (and even then, I think she’s more into the ginger/wasabi/soysauce flavor combination than the sushi itself) and I’m really not a big fan of fish period, so I don’t believe we’ll stop there again.

 

The shops on board are MUCH more limited than what we’ve found on other ships, but we’re not here to buy jewelry, perfume or clothing. That begin said, I really did need a watch and they were having a 40% off sale, so we stopped for a look. Who knew that so many hideous watches existed? Whether you want to spend $10 or $10,000, there’s a phenomenally gaudy watch just waiting to be yours! Yet, there among the ugliest of the ugly, was a handsome, simple, black, square-faced Citizens watch with a simple, black leather strap — and I immediately KNEW I had found the watch of my dreams! Things were made even better when I found out that the watch is eco-friendly and recharges itself in ambient light — and with an affordable $100 price after the discount, I found myself wearing it a few minutes later. The sales guy, Mr. Zero Personality, certainly tried to interest me in a mammoth, solid gold, jewel-encrusted, 87-function chronometer that looked to weigh in excess of 10 pounds, but before he could even grab his calculator to tell me what a remarkable deal I could have, I labeled the watch a “monstrosity” — and he quickly handed me over to his colleague, Mr. LESS-than-Zero Personality, who silently processed my S&S card and seemed a bit put-out with me when I dared to ask what time it was so I could set the watch myself. There must be a sign in the storeroom that that says, “Customers … Just Ignore Them and They’ll Go Away!”

 

OH!! Remember the garlic dip from lunch today? Well it’s back – and I don’t mean on the buffet! Apparently I am emitting a noxious cloud of tear-inducing, vampire-repelling garlic vapor that’s easily detectable from more than a yard away. Linda brought it to my attention … AGAIN! Mind you, I’ve brushed my teeth several times, scoured my tongue until it’s just RAW and even scrubbed my entire body in a combination of every scented body gel, soap and shampoo in our stateroom — but it’s not made a bit of difference. So, with a little huffiness of righteous indignation, I popped over to the shops and bought a tin of Altoids (you know, the “curiously-strong” mints that “freshen your breath while your head explodes”) and promptly chomped down a couple of dozen of them. Linda told me that the mints just “took the edge off” but did make it tolerable to be around me. Now that I think about it, I wonder if the sales clerks back at the watch table were just reacting to the garlic? Hmmmm ….

 

I was scheduled to have my headshots taken any time after 7:15PM and we still had some time to kill, and just as we were wondering what we could go and do, the Cruise Director, “Goose” (of all the bird names one could choose as a nickname, I can’t imagine how this came to be) announced that the Comedy Hypnosis show was about to begin — so off we went. In all fairness to Carnival and the performers, Linda and I grew weary of onboard entertainment long ago. That said, this gentleman wasn’t close to the caliber of entertainers we’ve seen on any of the ships we’ve sailed. The first 15 minutes of his show were made up mostly of platitudes directed to the staff at Carnival and silly set-ups for what the volunteers could expect from the experience. Even before his hypnotic induction began, he certainly had put me into a trance-like state! Luckily, I had a photo shoot to get to … so I bolted pretty pronto. I was a bit worried that Linda would fall victim to some subliminal suggestion about signing up for a series of Ionithermie spa treatments or taking home a Rembrandt of our very own as a souvenir of our cruise, so I told her to join me by the casino in 10 minutes flat.

 

The gentleman who took my photo was just excellent – and in less than five minutes, he’d snapped 4 or 5 shots, handed me a card to help me find the shots tomorrow and I was done … waiting and wondering what impact the hypnotist might be having on my wife. But my worries were soon put to rest as Linda joined me and we decided to head up to the Pinnacle, even though we were WAY early for our reservation.

 

Dinner at the Pinnacle was simply superb in (almost) every way — and I’ll tell you now that if money isn’t an issue for you, just make reservations there for every night of the cruise. We were seated at a very cozy and secluded table for two. Subdued lighting, Versace-esque place settings, fine linens, spotless stemware … NOW we felt like we’re on a cruise! We were handed leather-bound menus and given a few moments to soak in the ambience. The sommelier offered me the leather-bound wine list and said he would return in a few moments for my selection. Contrary to what we had read on the boards here, the sommelier wasn’t arrogant or pushy in the slightest. I order a glass of Shiraz and Linda passed on wine altogether and I didn’t detect so much as a hint of anything from him other than a genuine willingness to be of service. I lost count of the number of servers who actually took care of us, but they were ALL polished, friendly, efficient and attentive without being the least bit intrusive. Again, we said “THIS is what dinner on a cruise is supposed to be like.” We were presented with an assortment of breads to choose from and given a trio of butters and tampenades. We were served a tiny little taste of wonderfulness compliments of the Chef. We were given a detailed tour of a platter of the cuts of meat they were offering and the accompaniments they suggested with each. All wonderful touches … but things we had experienced in the main dining room on cruises from days long ago — an awareness that made us both happy and sad at the same time. For starters, Linda ordered the sherried lobster bisque (words cannot begin to describe how delicious) and I chose the crab cake (very good and meaty, but simply not in the same league as the bisque). We both had the Caesar salad, freshly prepared tableside, crisp romaine, well-seasoned croutons, exceptionally-nutty parmesan, and offered with or without anchovies (easily makes the limp caesar they serve in the MDR undeserving of a capital letter.)

 

For our main courses, Linda chose the 9 ounce Filet Mignon, prepared medium and she proclaimed it the BEST steak she had ever had in her life – and I can tell you, she’s eaten a LOT of filet mignon in VERY fine steakhouses all around the world. The meat was so tender and so perfectly prepared that chewing wasn’t required. I’m so glad she has a tiny appetite, since it means I got her leftovers (yep, that includes lobster bisque and her filet!) I myself chose the 24 ounce Porterhouse, prepared medium, with the wasabi Yukon gold mashed potatoes and the creamed spinach as side dishes. My steak was huge, excellent, juicy and tender — but I would STEER (lol) you toward the filet mignon if you’re only going to dine there once. Although neither of us really had any room for it, dessert was next. Linda ordered the fruit – and before you think “boring” you should know that Linda is a true frugivore, an undeniable connaisseur of all things fruit. This was no ordinary MDR fruit plate with cantaloupe and grapes, but an assortment of berries, cherries, kiwi, nectarines, plums and a small scoop of raspberry sorbet. We have NEVER been served cherries on ANY cruise – and they’re Linda’s favorite thing! I chose the citrus cheesecake with the hazelnut crust and the slice I was given was so large we could have BOTH eaten it and still taken half home to enjoy later. I barely made a dent in it, even though it was truly delicious in every way. Dinner really did take 2.5 hours, although time flew by — and we enjoyed ourselves so much, we asked the maitre’d if we could reserve the same table for dinner the last night of the cruise. Bottom line — the remarkable quality of the food, the expert preparation, the more-than-generous portions, the exquisite presentation, the elegant surroundings and the attentive professional service made this experience easily stand out among the dining experiences we’ve enjoyed both on land and on sea and we cannot begin to recommend it highly enough.

 

The ONLY disappointment, as I alluded to at the beginning of the Pinnacle review, was that there was no live music to accompany our meal. Even the automated grand piano wasn’t put to use. I know times are tough for the cruise industry, but c’mon, you’ve already paid for the piano!

 

After dinner we strolled throughout the ship, just to see what was happening. Up on the Lido Deck, there was a rock ‘n’ roll party going full swing with HUNDREDS of people dancing and drinking – and the ship’s dancers put on a sock hop sort of dance show. Linda thought the band was quite good and had a great time dancing with some people she met onboard. Unfortunately, as much as my wife loves that sort of extroverted social behavior, I’m the polar opposite and was VERY uncomfortable. Again, in my private life, I’m a very introverted, quiet type – so I find large groups of people very unsettling. I was also in a suit and tie, so I felt very conspicuous. I encouraged my wife to stay and enjoy the party, but I really needed to get out of there. There’s nothing about the event I’m criticizing per se (I’ve already mentioned that the performers in general are a bit amateurish, with the exception of the very few I’ve pointed out in this review) but it just wasn’t anything I’m into. It was nearly midnight by this time, so my wife and I left the Lido party and headed down to the Promenade Deck to see if there was some quieter lounge for us to have our nightcap. I thought the Promenade Deck would be sparsely populated considering all of the action going on up top, but I was wrong. The piano bar and the disco in particular had their own crowds – and there were a lot of teens running amok and a lot of drunk adults being loud and obnoxious. I thought I was just showing my age and seeing a level of activity that seemed far more escalated than it actually was, but then I noticed something I have never see before on any ship — several security guards controlling access to the disco and patrolling the interior promenade. I don’t know if that’s just something Carnival does, but it was a new experience for me. Do things really get so far out of control here – or do they fear it will, so they position security as a deterrent? Whatever the answer is, we decided to head to bed.

 

While I’m glad I’m on the Splendor for this voyage, I am learning a few things about myself, perhaps the greatest of which is that I actually AM old enough to be a grandfather – not ONE but TWO generations older than the youngest people on this ship — and while I see plenty of people my age and significantly older onboard, I truly feel disconnected and out of place here. Perhaps I will feel better in the morning.

[CalmCruiserNC]

Day 4: Heading to meet Jimena?

 

The seas overnight were again very calm, and so far this morning they continue to be slight – but things ARE picking up.

 

This being the first sea day, the gym was PACKED at 10AM, but I was still able to find an exercise bike and get an hour in, which I felt like I really needed following last night’s dinner at the Pinnacle Club. There was a bunch of people competing for the weight equipment, so I decided I’d just come back at 5PM, when half of the ship would be heading for the early seating’s Captain’s Welcome cocktail party and first formal dinner.

 

If you haven’t picked up this about me by now, I’m a very quiet, introverted type — but I don’t like confining myself to my stateroom balcony, so finding places to escape on a very large and very crowded FUN ship isn’t an easy feat to accomplish. But I’ve actually figured out how to travel from my stateroom to the gym, the Lido Liner Bar and the Serenity Deck without bumping into more than a mere handful of people. I’m not much of one for the Lido Buffet, but the area around the rotisserie is VERY quiet and relatively unpopulated even when the buffet is at its busiest.

 

Linda found me being serene and convinced me to do a bit of wandering around the ship with her. I played a couple of trivia games (see, I CAN be social!) and we went to check out the headshots I had taken the night before. Sadly, the headshots were NOT good. In 3 of the 4, the back of my jacket had bunched up behind my neck, and in the other shot, my arms were stretching my jacket sleeve too much. I’ll try again tonight.

 

Tonight is Formal Night – well, Carnival calls it “Cruise Elegant,” which invites a fascinating yet disturbing array of fashion. Linda wore a gorgeous, floor-length, full-circle, bodice-clinging, head-turning gown. I decided to skip the tuxedo on this trip and brought along a couple of dress shirts, ties and a black cashmere dinner jacket. We make a pretty snazzy couple, if I do say so myself!

 

We went down to the Promenade Deck where the Captain’s Welcome party was being held, and had a couple of glasses of wine, compliments of the Captain. The waiters were serving beer, wine and champagne from their trays, and you’re were also welcome to order ANY drink you wanted at any of the bars in the area where reception was being held, again, compliments of the Captain. No hors d’oeuvres though.

 

The interior promenade was MOBBED with people, literally blocking the entrances and causing such congestion that movement was nearly impossible. The cause of the problem was the multiple portrait opportunities – not less that SIX different backgrounds to choose from, and MANY of the passengers were choosing to stand in line for ALL of them. The most popular background was the grand staircase from the Titanic — a concept I found disturbing, creepy and a little disrespectful. Why would ANYONE want to place themselves on the doomed ship or turn a feature from a real maritime disaster into a fun memory? I don’t get it.

 

Linda and I grabbed a couple of vacant spaces on that super-long leather banquette that lines almost the entire length of the ship and watched the fashion parade go by. Oh to be Stacey & Clinton from TLC’s “What Not to Wear”!

 

After dinner last night, we expected the meal in the MDR – even with it being formal night – would pale by comparison. Our tablemates were all dressed appropriately for the occasion – and the honeymooning couple was nowhere to be seen for the third night in a row. Linda ordered the stuffed mushrooms (meh), a lower-case caesar salad (sad by comparison to last night’s), the prime rib (very nicely prepared) and the cherries jubilee for dessert (a soupy, but tasty mess). I had not eaten a thing all day, and the 420 calories the SPA selections totaled up to just wasn’t enough, so I ordered from the regular menu instead. I had the spaghetti carbonara as a starter (no evidence of anything that would make it “carbonara,” like proscuitto or even a hint of cream sauce), the lower-case caesar salad (no further comment required) and the Chile Relleno (a nice vegetarian option, large and spicy). I indulged at dessert and had the cheese assortment, which for me is a HUGE treat.

 

The most popular selection at our table was definitely the lobster and shrimp platter. Some of our companions ordered a double plate, others ordered both the lobster AND the prime rib — and were a bit surprised when they were given both entrees with all of the appropriate accompaniments. They were expecting a single-plated, surf ‘n turf presentation, which, admittedly, would have looked far less piggish. It ended up being too much food for some of them and they asked if they could take the leftovers back to their room. Their requests, surprisingly, were denied. I honestly don’t see what the problem was since we can all go to the grill or the lido buffet and take anything we want virtually anywhere we want – and we all DO have refrigerators in our rooms — so I really don’t understand the policy.

 

After dinner, we went dancing in the lobby bar on Deck 3 — there’s a great duo that play there every night – and it’s where the people who like a little ballroom dancing can find the music we need. The Latin combo in the Robusto Bar are also excellent for the salsa and rhumba dancers, but the place can get pretty smoky since it IS a cigar bar.

 

We went back to our stateroom, changed into something more casual and popped up to the Lido Deck to see the Big Screen movie — James Bond Quantum of Solace. Our advice to anyone who wants to see the movies on the big screen — get there early so you can grab one of the lounge chairs that are closest to the pool. The image on the giant screen is really better the further away you sit — and the sound is less intense too, which is very important to people in my age range when you’re watching a non-stop action thriller!

 

OH – they charge you $1.50 for popcorn!

[CalmCruiserNC]

I'll post the rest later tonight. Today is actually our 18th anniversary and were heading out to lunch and a movie --

[yedeje]

Wonderful review so far! I can't wait for more.

 

Enjoy your anniversary.

[ManyMore]

For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, directly translated from the most ancient dialect, “Ensenada” means “stay on the ship.” There’s a similar word among the Caribbean languages, “Jamaica.”

 

 

Ok not only do I have to agree with this line... it is one of the funniest lines I have ever read! I'm still chuckling! Thank you!

[CalmCruiserNC]

For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, directly translated from the most ancient dialect, “Ensenada” means “stay on the ship.” There’s a similar word among the Caribbean languages, “Jamaica.”

 

 

Ok not only do I have to agree with this line... it is one of the funniest lines I have ever read! I'm still chuckling! Thank you!

 

 

THANK YOU! I just showed your response to my wife and said, "See honey, some people think I AM funny!"

[1timecruiser]

And informative!! You have a wonderful way with words and the line about the smokers was easily one that could be used in a comedy.

 

I look forward to reading the rest of your review!

[mississauga]

Thank you for taking the time out to write and post such an intensive review. Looking forward to the rest of it.

 

The Splendor has not had much luck in sticking to her planned Mexican itinerary. We were on the changed itinerary in May due to the H1N1 and now hurricane worries have altered her ports again.

[southbayer]

Glad you had a good time, i'll be there shortly myself!

 

By the way, you arrived in L.A. during one of our extreme heatwaves, its not always like that at all.

[poptart]

Haven't had time to finish all you've written, YET, but I will! Any chance you might post some pictures?

 

I am enjoying your review.

 

I totally understand your wife's take on food. I don't eat a lot either. My dh is always saying I don't get my money's worth on a cruise! But it's not about the food to me. It's about all the fun!

[sing2sas]

Good review so far - thanks. I love hearing the good and bad and your descriptions are very funny. We are leaving this coming Sunday on the Splendor and, while we hope our itinerary will be as planned, are interested in your general comments about the ship. Enjoy your anniversary!

[NWgal65]

I'm enjoying this review immensely. Cutting and pasting into a word doc I have been creating for weeks, as we are sailing in less than 2 weeks on the Splendor. I appreciate all of your details and your humor! I am sailing alone with my two teen girls and I am looking forward to a vacation to remember! I was NOT going to spend the extra money on the Supper Club, but now I am re-thinking that!

Thanks again for this thorough review.

[yogi2929]

Day 3: Time for Ensenada!

 

............For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, directly translated from the most ancient dialect, “Ensenada” means “stay on the ship.” There’s a similar word among the Caribbean languages, “Jamaica.”.

 

 

............... since we haven’t visited any of the ports on the western coastline of Mexico.

 

Just to be a contrarian--

 

Thank you for your review-- Since you did not step off the ship in Ensenada your opinion of this port does not make any sense!

 

All the times we've been to Catalina we used Avalon's tenders, never the ships.

 

You are so right about waiting to be out of port to get that first DOD. The sales tax rate is almost 10%!

[Sage56]

I'll post the rest later tonight. Today is actually our 18th anniversary and were heading out to lunch and a movie --

Have a great time. Thanks for the review, can't wait to read the rest of it.

[TakeMeAway1001]

What a nice, well written review :) I am looking forward to the rest and Happy Anniversary!

[Rosefloater]

 

...since we haven’t visited any of the ports on the western coastline of Mexico.

 

 

Just curious as to what you based your decision not to visit Ensenada. I have been there 6 times this past year and have always enjoyed just walking around town. I am a 71 year young grandmother and usually travels with my daughters and teenage granddaughters and we have never had a problem. Granted there are annoying people trying to sell junk, but just say no and continue walking. There are many good restaurants and fun bars(if that is what you want). The people are very friendly and the town is safe as long as you stay in the tourist area.

[CalmCruiserNC]

Just to be a contrarian--

 

Thank you for your review-- Since you did not step off the ship in Ensenada your opinion of this port does not make any sense!

 

All the times we've been to Catalina we used Avalon's tenders, never the ships.

 

You are so right about waiting to be out of port to get that first DOD. The sales tax rate is almost 10%!

 

Hey there -- We actually have visited Ensenada, but never as a port on one of our cruises — just as a part of a land-based vacation we did a few years ago. Fellow passengers who did get off the ship confirmed that things in the excitement department hadn't changed much. They made specific reference to the gauntlet of people trying to sell your tours and trinkets — and were particularly disturbed by the kids selling things. One of the passengers works for a social services agency in Southern California and warned those getting of the ship that the kids actually work for some unscrupulous person who's basically exploiting them. We were also warned to stay in the well-traveled areas if we did get off the ship. Staff onboard the Splendor said that so few people got off in Ensenada that the ship felt more like a sea day.

 

As to the use of the ship's tenders, I don't know why, but there were a combination of Avalon's tenders and the Splendor's tenders running all day. There wasn't another ship in the port, and due to the itinerary change, our arrival happened without a lot of notice for the local services, I'm sure.

[Kurbanfan]

Hey there -- We actually have visited Ensenada, but never as a port on one of our cruises — just as a part of a land-based vacation we did a few years ago. Fellow passengers who did get off the ship confirmed that things in the excitement department hadn't changed much. They made specific reference to the gauntlet of people trying to sell your tours and trinkets — and were particularly disturbed by the kids selling things. One of the passengers works for a social services agency in Southern California and warned those getting of the ship that the kids actually work for some unscrupulous person who's basically exploiting them. We were also warned to stay in the well-traveled areas if we did get off the ship. Staff onboard the Splendor said that so few people got off in Ensenada that the ship felt more like a sea day.

 

Yes.......their parents;) You will find this in many parts of Mexico.......not just Ensenada.......

[CalmCruiserNC]

Yes.......their parents;) You will find this in many parts of Mexico.......not just Ensenada.......

 

I can certainly understand -- even support -- a family business enterprise. Sadly, the individual I mentioned painted a far bleaker scenario — something akin to a scene from Slumdog Millionaire.

[Kurbanfan]

I can certainly understand -- even support -- a family business enterprise. Sadly, the individual I mentioned painted a far bleaker scenario — something akin to a scene from Slumdog Millionaire.

 

LOL! I wouldn't call it a family business enterprise.......nor do I support it.........desperate people do desperate things.........they sell chicklets in Mexico.......drugs in Jamaica.........

 

But back to your review! Sounds like you had a great time! Let's hear more!

[Melismass]

Extremely funny sense of humor, which I appreciate very much! Can't wait to hear the rest of your review.