Sometimes I wonder..

[Bridge Maven]

In the academic world a professor is not suppose to date his/her students. In the business world a person is not suppose to date co-workers or clients. So are passengers who forge special friendships with crew jeopardizing their jobs?

 

Whenever I read a post from someone who has inside information because of their friendship with Celebrity's crew I can understand why so many companies have such policies.

[Ma Bell]

The crew are usually young people and the passengers are usually older people and they are not dating each other. I would say it's more a case of kind thoughts for people who work difficult jobs far away from home. There's nothing untoward about it.

 

As far as the crew's relationships, many of them meet and marry while working together.

[smeyer418]

In the business world a person is not suppose to date co-workers or clients. ...

 

really where did you get those rules?

 

They aren't hard and fast.

 

One of the people who writes for cruise critic married the captain of a ship she was working on.

 

I think there was a report that the vast majority of people met there spouses at work.

 

 

BTW its less hard and fast at a college that a professor can't date a student(at least not one of their own students). They are both adults.

 

 

and frankly its nonsense that someone can't make a friendship with a crew member or someone at a company. They are maybe not friendships but close acquaintances.

 

did you ever see the documentary about the SS United States and the crew member who sent holiday cards every year to certain guests.

 

and I know many a CEO who take the time to make friends at every company they visit to get an inside track.

 

I think these "rules" you made up are a bunch of hooey.

[derf5585]

Onboard Romance ... for Crew

from

http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=484

 

Romancing the Crew

from

http://www.cruisemates.com/articles/single/crewromance.cfm

[PartyAllDaTyme]

I think the situations are not comparable, although I do take your meaning. In a teacher-student or boss-employee relationship, the concern is the possible coercion that the more powerful person could exert over the other-- "If you want a good grade/raise, you'll sleep with me." In dating a client, there's the fear that sensitive information could be casually revealed, intentionally or otherwise, or that it could lead to a damaging (or even illegal) "sweetheart deal", in this case literally.

 

While getting some inside info on how to get some special consideration from a friendly crew member along the lines of "Ask for that special dish, even though it's not on the menu it's still available" might be considered along the lines of inside information, it's not exactly a state secret. I'm willing to bet that crew members are encouraged to present themselves as if they're giving away big secrets to help make the pax feel like they're getting special treatment, and to encourage larger tips. If you're talking about information on how to sucessfully file a fraudulent claim for damages, that crosses the line.

[Bridge Maven]

Onboard Romance ... for Crew

from

http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=484

 

Romancing the Crew

from

http://www.cruisemates.com/articles/single/crewromance.cfm

 

Is "Romancing the Crew" the sequel to "Romancing the Stone" :)

[Ma Bell]

The crew are not inferior beings and are just as worthy of friendship as anyone else one meets. Most of them are bright, articulate and friendly.

[Karynanne]

IMHO, I don't feel that the crew is in any way jepordizing their positions by developing friendships with passengers. There is a vast difference between "friendships" and "relationships".

 

The staff and crew that we have met throughout the years have been gracious, hard-working, and friendly people. They have a work ethic that is not to be questioned. And they have developed people skills that quite a lot of land-based business workers could utilize.

 

One of my fondest memories was on Mercury in 2008. There was a beverage server from Bali that had the biggest smile I had ever seen. She was always happy and a joy to be around. We spent some time getting to know her well. She missed her family and friends, but knew she had a job to do, and did it with a smile. Getting to know her was "my pleasure".

[JanineM]

I've never worked anywhere where we have been told that co-workers can't have relationships, or we can't date clients. There are rules about not having relationships with those who are your superiors because there's always the concern that there is coercion involved. It's an issue of power - just as it is when teachers/instructors/professors have relationships with students.

 

But I have no problem with crew members having relationships with pax. I think sometimes there are posters here on CC who like to insinuate that they have some "special" relationship with people at the cruiseline. It makes them feel important. :rolleyes:

[Bridge Maven]

I've never worked anywhere where we have been told that co-workers can't have relationships' date=' or we can't date clients. There are rules about not having relationships with those who are your [u']superiors[/u] because there's always the concern that there is coercion involved. It's an issue of power - just as it is when teachers/instructors/professors have relationships with students.

 

But I have no problem with crew members having relationships with pax. I think sometimes there are posters here on CC who like to insinuate that they have some "special" relationship with people at the cruiseline. It makes them feel important. :rolleyes:

 

In the corporate world many companies are concerned about sexual harassment law suits so they have policies to protect themselves. This usually doesn't stop co-workers from dating each other but when they do they are usually very discrete about it.

 

I agree with your take about relationships between passengers and people who work for the cruise line and don't think there is anything wrong with casual friendships. However, it becomes an issue, in my opinion, when passengers brag about having a special relationship with people who work for the cruise line which makes them privy to confidential information, as well as other benefits. That is why I cringe whenever I read posts to that effect on cruise critic.

[6502programmer]

In the academic world a professor is not suppose to date his/her students. In the business world a person is not suppose to date co-workers or clients. So are passengers who forge special friendships with crew jeopardizing their jobs?

As long as it's non-sexual, likely not. "Don't get your honey where you get your money," is a way of weeding out the idiots. People that do pursue relationships with co-workers (under such rules) are going to be likely to keep it discreet, and thus, not a headache for the employer. As someone who is married to a former co-worker (and quietly dated for three years), I can vouch for this one on good authority.

 

By putting rules in place, companies protect themselves from lawsuits. If people DO engage in such relationships, they know that the employer will provide no backup whatsoever, and in fact, may cause repercussions if the relationship ever does become public.

 

As it relates to cruise lines, they're only concerned about a disagreement between consensual and non-consensual relationships (or, more properly, any ensuing legal liability), where one person says it was and the other says it wasn't. Rather than try to weed through that, they simply say "no" to all flavors, and back it up with draconian penalties for offenders.

[Gracie115]

The crew are not inferior beings and are just as worthy of friendship as anyone else one meets. Most of them are bright, articulate and friendly.

 

 

Shoot there have been several cruises when the crew I met and became acquainted with were not only wonderful, but some of my best memories on cruises involve them...far more than a fleeting moment with most passengers frankly....I remember the crew members names years later when the fellow passenger has long since been forgotten.

 

Before someone flames me, YES! I've met nice passengers too, but since I'm also in the hospitality business I have something in common with many of those who work on the ships and therefore our conversations just naturally evolve....

[smeyer418]

....

 

I agree with your take about relationships between passengers and people who work for the cruise line and don't think there is anything wrong with casual friendships. However, it becomes an issue, in my opinion, when passengers brag about having a special relationship with people who work for the cruise line which makes them privy to confidential information, as well as other benefits. That is why I cringe whenever I read posts to that effect on cruise critic.

 

 

I have no idea what this means. Some of us have relationships with people at cruise lines. I can tell you how I have mine...

 

I was invited as a guest on a cruise lines christening ceremony for one of its ships(the truth is to some extent I crashed the party but that is another story). I was invited to one of the luncheons. At the luncheon the CEO of the cruise line was pouring the champagne. I started to talk with him. Later that day after the ceremony I was at one of the bars where I was drinking(a little too much), the guest of honor and the senior execs came to the bar to toast among themselves. We continued to talk. He invited me to stay on the ship overnight. I didn't but I have his email address. I have seen him a number of times since. I have talked with him a number of times. I wish him well and sometimes he responds even though he is no longer the CEO(I have emailed the new CEO too who has also responded to me). I consider him a friend. some of the information I post comes from him. Has he done things for me? yes he has. One of the cruise consultants on one of the ships I consider a friend. She has a standing invitation to use me as a chauffeur any time she wants to. These friendships are pretty normal for me. Does this make me privy to confidential information? It makes me have access to people who have knowledge. Most of the information I have I don't see as confidential or I wouldn't have been told in the first place. Do I trust everything they say. absolutely but I also verify it from other sources and so far its always been right on.

[Karynanne]

In the corporate world many companies are concerned about sexual harassment law suits so they have policies to protect themselves. This usually doesn't stop co-workers from dating each other but when they do they are usually very discrete about it.

 

I agree with your take about relationships between passengers and people who work for the cruise line and don't think there is anything wrong with casual friendships. However, it becomes an issue, in my opinion, when passengers brag about having a special relationship with people who work for the cruise line which makes them privy to confidential information, as well as other benefits. That is why I cringe whenever I read posts to that effect on cruise critic.

 

I'm not sure what you mean in using the term "brag". Developing friendships with staff and crew members, and sharing the experience on Cruise Critic doesn't, IMHO convey "bragging".

 

Here on CC, we all share our experiences. And those of us that cruise on Celebrity frequently have developed very nice friendships with staff and crew members. They make our vacation a memorable one. It's always wonderful to see a friendly face onboard. This is not only good PR for the cruiseline, but on a personal level, we love to catch up on their lives and see them once again.

[smeyer418]

Employment law prohibits UNWELCOME sexual advances. It doesn't prohibit all of them. It also prohibits sexually charged atmospheres that can be considered coercive or discriminatory.(I personally think the Monica Lewinsky was a coercive situation and I really like Bill Clinton having met him a couple of times)

 

It doesn't prohibit all encounters at all. The test is whether a "reasonable" person would be offended by the situation.

 

Any employer will tell you its always a potential problem when a supervisor and employee or a guest and a employee have more than a friendly relationship. Most employees encourage employees and guests to be friends and friendly(party BBq's etc)....there is NO prohibition about being friends....but friends plus benefits is a problem.

 

http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/fs-sex.html

[lovesublime]

In the academic world a professor is not suppose to date his/her students. In the business world a person is not suppose to date co-workers or clients. So are passengers who forge special friendships with crew jeopardizing their jobs?

 

Whenever I read a post from someone who has inside information because of their friendship with Celebrity's crew I can understand why so many companies have such policies.

 

 

 

Not really true. My uncle is a math professor and he married one of his students.

[Ma Bell]

What do you mean by "inside information"?

[GeorgeL]

I think this issue is very interesting to ponder.

First of all, relationships or friendships on cruise ships are quite common. They occur between passengers, between passengers and the crew and between crew members.

There is something about the relaxing atmosphere, the other-worldliness and unreality of the situation that effects people's responses in a way that would never happen under any other, everyday circumstances.

At the same time, we all need to remember, as one of the articles on cruise time romances so incisively pointed out, there is also an uncomfortable truth to the fact that to a crew member each one of us is simply one of many that he/she will meet in their careers. I cannot think of any other occupation where a person is exposed to so many thousands of people and being in this position of almost unlimited possibilities for flirtation and romance (or friendships) makes each person somewhat of a "devalued" entity, if I may state it so bluntly. It may not be very pleasant to hear but I think that it is the truth. The "mental fog" that surrounds us passengers and blinds us to reality on a cruise is something that doesn't effect the crew, who, for better or worse, have "been there, done that" many times before and will continue to do in the future, long after we step off the cruise ship and back to reality.

[Ma Bell]

I suppose I don't think in those terms. Some of the young people we have met through the years have continued to correspond with us through the years even after they have left the cruiseline's employ. We have been pleased to hear about their endeavors in a new business of their own, their weddings and the birth of their children.

 

They don't want anything from us except to keep in touch.

[Can'tstopcruising]

Truthfully, I can't imagine befriending a crew member. (Watch, after my next cruise I'll report about a new friend!).

 

Seriously, I can chat and be friendly, but with whom would I become friends? Oh, just a minute, we did become good friends with the bridge director and his wife on one of our cruises.

 

Trust me, no inside information there! We did spend time with them in their city and played bridge with them at their club. Sadly, over the years we have lost touch. Maybe I will send them an e-mail. Thanks for the idea you didn't realize you gave me!!!

[Bridge Maven]

I'm not sure what you mean in using the term "brag". Developing friendships with staff and crew members, and sharing the experience on Cruise Critic doesn't, IMHO convey "bragging".

 

Here on CC, we all share our experiences. And those of us that cruise on Celebrity frequently have developed very nice friendships with staff and crew members. They make our vacation a memorable one. It's always wonderful to see a friendly face onboard. This is not only good PR for the cruiseline, but on a personal level, we love to catch up on their lives and see them once again.

 

When I used the term bragging I was referring to the cruise critic posters who post about inside information that they have which is not known to other passengers because of their special relationship with various crew members. I obviously have no way of knowing if these alleged conversations between crew members and cruise critic posters actually took place, but if they did it would illustrate why special relationships between passengers and crew can put the cruise line in a precarious position.

[Bridge Maven]

As long as it's non-sexual, likely not. "Don't get your honey where you get your money," is a way of weeding out the idiots. People that do pursue relationships with co-workers (under such rules) are going to be likely to keep it discreet, and thus, not a headache for the employer. As someone who is married to a former co-worker (and quietly dated for three years), I can vouch for this one on good authority.

 

By putting rules in place, companies protect themselves from lawsuits. If people DO engage in such relationships, they know that the employer will provide no backup whatsoever, and in fact, may cause repercussions if the relationship ever does become public.

 

As it relates to cruise lines, they're only concerned about a disagreement between consensual and non-consensual relationships (or, more properly, any ensuing legal liability), where one person says it was and the other says it wasn't. Rather than try to weed through that, they simply say "no" to all flavors, and back it up with draconian penalties for offenders.

 

I think it is wonderful that you are married to a former co-worker. In my opinion that is one of the best ways to meet a spouse because in a work environment you really get to know a person's character, work ethic, integrity, and intellect.

[Ma Bell]

When I used the term bragging I was referring to the cruise critic posters who post about inside information that they have which is not known to other passengers because of their special relationship with various crew members. I obviously have no way of knowing if these alleged conversations between crew members and cruise critic posters actually took place, but if they did it would illustrate why special relationships between passengers and crew can put the cruise line in a precarious position.

 

What is this mysterious information that you are speaking about that would put the cruiseline in a precarious position? Can you give us an example of something from the past?

[smeyer418]

What is this mysterious information that you are speaking about that would put the cruiseline in a precarious position? Can you give us an example of something from the past?

my opinion is he is just making things up. its like the "rules" he posted as the first part of this thread, they just do not hold water.

[JanineM]

In the corporate world many companies are concerned about sexual harassment law suits so they have policies to protect themselves. This usually doesn't stop co-workers from dating each other but when they do they are usually very discrete about it.

 

 

I have worked for major international corporations for over 15 years and not one of those companies prohibits relationships between peers or those with non-reporting associates/employees. In fact, just today the Wall Street firm I work for distributed the 2010 HR policy manual and their policy does allow co-workers to date or marry. Sexual harassment claims come about when one has power over another. The days of non-dating policies are long past.