I dive, DW doesn't. What to do?

[Orcrone]

I dive but my wife doesn't. On our last cruise I went diving twice, Coki Beach in St. Thomas and Half Moon Cay (Holland America's private island). Coki Beach has beach diving so we could both go to the beach and I just went off for 45 minutes diving. HMC has their excursions leave pretty much from the beach, so once again I was not gone for a long time.

 

Does anyone have any other suggestions as to what they do when one spouse dives and the other doesn't?

[karen2cruz]

Well, I do dive as well as my DH, but not at every port, like he likes to do. So, I take a ship excursion or shop while he dives. Hey, diving excursions are expensive, so I tell him I get to buy at least the equivalent of his excursion costs-heh heh.

[scuba dad]

I dive but my wife doesn't. On our last cruise I went diving twice, Coki Beach in St. Thomas and Half Moon Cay (Holland America's private island). Coki Beach has beach diving so we could both go to the beach and I just went off for 45 minutes diving. HMC has their excursions leave pretty much from the beach, so once again I was not gone for a long time.

 

Does anyone have any other suggestions as to what they do when one spouse dives and the other doesn't?

 

We have the same situation. I dive, wife does not. If it is a good port for diving, I dive and she will do what she wants. Sometimes she stays on the ship and other times she will do a shore excursion. We try not to hold the other back from doing what they want.

 

We have been at ports where I leave before she wakes up and come back 30 minutes before the ship leaves. She always finds something to do and enjoys herself just fine without me. Wonder what that says about me?

[Orcrone]

Thanks everyone. I guess the answer was obvious. We're going with our two daughters. They're not young so it's not like she's babysitting. She just hates when I go off without her. She figured I would go diving once. I hate to pay to have my gear tuned up, go to the Caribbean and only dive once. On the other hand I don't want to be leaving her on her own at two of the four ports.

[10X]

I'l be diving for 3 days on our Thaiti cruise next month. My wife will be going snorkeling with friends and we will meet for lunch onboard. We'll then have the afternoon together.

[Orcrone]

I'l be diving for 3 days on our Thaiti cruise next month. My wife will be going snorkeling with friends and we will meet for lunch onboard. We'll then have the afternoon together.

We're going to be going with extended family. That would work great, but most of the time they just stay on the ship. But perhaps I'll check with them and see if that's their plan this time.

 

DD has been wanting to try scuba for a while now. We're going to be in St. Thomas from 8 AM until 11 PM. DW wants to take the ferry over to St. John. Perhaps I'll look into a discover scuba for DD and tag along for the dive. If we do it first thing in the morning we should be back at the ship by noon or 1, which should leave plenty of time to go to St. John.

[Got2bsunny]

My FI doesn't dive (yet), so I'm doing my diving in 2 ports and he is doing his own thing. While I'm diving, I think he is planning to take it easy on the beach. Unfortunately, he likes snorkeling even less and that is the one thing keeping him from getting his scuba certification.

 

We are working on improving his swimming and snorkeling skills.

 

Pam

[Orcrone]

Pam,

 

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!!!!

 

DW actually loves snorkeling. However, she's claustrophobic and has tried diving a couple of times, but can't handle being under the water breathing from a regulator.

[bruce-r]

I'm the only diver in my family too. I really like to dive, especially when I get a chance to dive in warm water. That is the main reason we have gone cruising. There is something for everyone and I get to dive. This may sound a bit selfish, but it is my vacation too and I feel that I should get to do some things that I like as well as spend time with DW and the kids.It is a good thing that DW agrees with me. If the port has good diving, I dive and they do what ever they feel like doing. I try to meet up with them in the afternoon. If the port doesn't have decent diving (Why would I go on a cruise that didn't have good diving), then I spend the day with the family and we do what ever they want. I go along in support of DW. I also devote most of my time on the ship to being the good daddy. It is easier now that the kids are older, 10 & 14, as they are getting better at finding friends and amusing themselves.

[w&k]

I can sympathize with you fellows about the non-diving ladies. When I was the secretary of the local dive club, it was always 5 guys & me, 10 guys & me, etc. When we brought the non-diving ladies along, we would just point them at the mall. Guess that's why I'm allergic to shopping (unless it's for dive gear, Home Depot, or Lowe's).

 

If you can get your kids to dive, DW might just decide to come along to make it a family activity.

 

Otherwise, book her into the spa for a day of pampering. When you come back, she will be glowing and relaxed, and you will be her Prince Charming.

 

Wendy

 

ps I was actually the diver - I had 100+ when Keith and I met. Put him in class, got him hooked, and created a dive monster. Now we have 200+ dives together ranging from hops in the local springs to diving on cruises almost all the way around the Caribbean.

[Latitude 20]

We're going to be going with extended family. That would work great, but most of the time they just stay on the ship. But perhaps I'll check with them and see if that's their plan this time.

 

DD has been wanting to try scuba for a while now. We're going to be in St. Thomas from 8 AM until 11 PM. DW wants to take the ferry over to St. John. Perhaps I'll look into a discover scuba for DD and tag along for the dive. If we do it first thing in the morning we should be back at the ship by noon or 1, which should leave plenty of time to go to St. John.

 

You don't have a ton of time before you leave but you could look into operators other than the ship's excursions.

 

Seems you have enough people that you may be able to negotiate with one of the 6-8 person operators to have a boat pretty much to yourselves. We did that on one of our trips--a few of us dove the rest just snorkeled or hung out on the boat reading books and getting suntans.

 

Downside is, of course, the cost. You'll be displacing paying divers so should expect to pay almost as much for your divers as your non-divers. Unfortunately we've not been to the ports you're visiting but others on this board may have suggestions for operators.

 

Kathi & Leo

[Orcrone]

Latitude,

 

Of the 8 people in our group two are my mother and her husband, both well into their 70s, so they wouldn't be too interested. Two others are my brother and his partner. They're both had very bad eyesight so they wouldn't be interested in diving or snorkeling (but perhaps relaxing on the deck). Of the other four of us, at least three would like to snorkel and/or dive, so at the least it might be a plan for rest of us.

 

Thanks for the suggestion.

[szdiver]

Being a woman who dives, with a DH who doesn't even swim, I have run into this incident frequently on a cruise. My DH sleeps in a little later, and then joins me for shopping later in the day. He likes me to go diving in the warm water, because I don't get the chance to do so at home in Ky. What can I say - I have a great DH.

[Latitude 20]

Two others are my brother and his partner. They're both had very bad eyesight so they wouldn't be interested in diving or snorkeling (but perhaps relaxing on the deck). Thanks for the suggestion.

 

 

One more unsolicited suggestion: Bad eyesight doesn't have to preclude anyone from diving or snorkling. Neither of us can't see well enough to stop from walking into walls without vision correction on land. There are two ways to deal with it: 1) a good regular mask will keep water out of contact lenses or 2) most rental operators have masks to compensate for most basic nearsighted prescriptions.

 

Kathi & Leo

[jeffinhburg]

I dive but my wife doesn't. On our last cruise I went diving twice, Coki Beach in St. Thomas and Half Moon Cay (Holland America's private island). Coki Beach has beach diving so we could both go to the beach and I just went off for 45 minutes diving. HMC has their excursions leave pretty much from the beach, so once again I was not gone for a long time.

 

Does anyone have any other suggestions as to what they do when one spouse dives and the other doesn't?

 

I sent her teenage son to classes and got him certified. Now, I figure I shouldn't feel guilty, since I'm watching her kid for her.....Let's see - I get to dive, created my own dive buddy, and should get some credit for relieving her of a bit of her parental responsibilities, allowing her to do what she wants. The only downside is that now I have to pay for him to cruise with us. ;-)

[bruce-r]

The only downside is that now I have to pay for him to cruise with us. ;-)

Dude, you are still way ahead, even if you have to pay for him to dive too.

 

2 more years and I'll have a built-in dive buddy. That is when DD turns 12.

[Orcrone]

One more unsolicited suggestion: Bad eyesight doesn't have to preclude anyone from diving or snorkling. Neither of us can't see well enough to stop from walking into walls without vision correction on land. There are two ways to deal with it: 1) a good regular mask will keep water out of contact lenses or 2) most rental operators have masks to compensate for most basic nearsighted prescriptions.

 

Kathi & Leo

Latitude,

 

Thanks, but they're eye problems are beyond the basic nearsightedness; one due to a birth defect and another due to a disease. They're both considered legally blind, with extremely poor eyesight. Unfortunately, glasses help a little, but come no where near correcting the problem.

[Latitude 20]

Latitude,

 

Thanks, but they're eye problems are beyond the basic nearsightedness; one due to a birth defect and another due to a disease. They're both considered legally blind, with extremely poor eyesight. Unfortunately, glasses help a little, but come no where near correcting the problem.

 

That would definitely make snorkling/diving way less enjoyable. In any event, hope you all enjoy your trip and you figure out some way to get your dive(s) in!

 

Kathi & Leo

[jeffinhburg]

Dude, you are still way ahead, even if you have to pay for him to dive too.

 

2 more years and I'll have a built-in dive buddy. That is when DD turns 12.

 

I guess. Since a buch of folks here helped to create this new addiction by talking me into it, I'll just send the bill for both of us. ;) I was perfectly happy snorkeling (All right, I wasn't - but at least I didn't know I wasn't). I also had no desire to dive in cold water here in PA -- guess where we've done all of our dives, pending our Western Carib trip ...? Darn you all....but seriously, thanks.

 

You will love having your own custom made dive buddy. We know each other so well that it's just second nature communicating underwater, and we seemed to be on the same page from day one.

[NavyCruiser]

Easy solution:

 

I got my wife certified a few yrs ago. & also got our son certified when he turned 10 yrs old, he's almost 12 now & has 70+ dives already. My daughter is only 8.

 

My wife doesn't enjoy diving all that much, would rather go shopping at the ports. So now the reverse psychology is that she feels guilty for leaving me & my son to do that hard & strenous diving stuff while she & our daughter goes shopping. What a guilt trip (for her).

 

Problem solved.:)

 

Although we don't dive at every port, we try to dive in 2 - 3 ports, & snorkel/beach activities at least 1 -2 ports, depends on port times...

 

Bruce-R:

PADI now allows your kids to get certified at 10 now, just lowered from 12 a couple yrs ago

[SandDollar Laura]

Navy good point on the new 10 year old PADI age limit. As an instructor, I think it's important to make that call on an individual basis. I've seen some dynamite 10 year olds in the water and on the dive tables, and I've see some 12 year olds that have no business with a regulator unless I'm wrapping the hose around their neck!

[Hilary]

If it were me, I'd simply have a talk with my spouse prior to the cruise and explain that I REALLY want to dive twice. I would impress upon them that I don't get the opportunity to dive in the Caribbean that often and that it's an important part of my vacation to dive. Since dive excursions typically get you back to the ship at around lunchtime (if you go in the morning), plan on spending the rest of the day together after you get back. Suggest she do a spa treatment that morning while waiting for you. Spa treatments are usually cheaper on port day and it would be a very luxurious thing for her to enjoy while you're diving. :-)

 

I'm very lucky that my husband and I got certified together and love to dive while on vacation, which we do as much of it as possible while traveling. Unfortunately, we didn't find that cruising and diving are a very good combination for us, so we're going to be doing other vacations for awhile. On our Belize trip aboard Nekton cruises, we're going to spend an extra 3 days after (to off gas) and tour the interior of Belize, including a trip to Tikal in Guatemala. Can't wait!!

[jeffinhburg]

Navy good point on the new 10 year old PADI age limit. As an instructor, I think it's important to make that call on an individual basis. I've seen some dynamite 10 year olds in the water and on the dive tables, and I've see some 12 year olds that have no business with a regulator unless I'm wrapping the hose around their neck!

 

I didn't realize PADI lowered the age - I guess because my favorite dive shop is SSI affiliated. I'm glad the other two kids didn't realize it either, as it is hard enough to tell them at 12 and 13 that they just aren't collected or mature enough to do this, which is the position I'm about to be in. I got them some really good personal gear this x-mas, so I'll watch them snorkel for a summer and find out how they do. I can't even imagine them handling that much responsibility for themselves, much less a buddy, at 10, but there must be some if Laura has had them in courses.

 

The fear I would have for the instructors is that they could be put in the position of making a number of calls on this on individual bases, and have to offend the (I would guess, in many cases - diving - parents who may also be customers), or else let it slide. That could be a tough position to be put in.

[Doodles796]

My DH would not dive in Grand Cayman during our last cruise in '03 although I TRIED to convince him. I had planned to take the kids to see the stingrays.

I felt like he missed out on something wonderful b/c he was worried about our feelings. (We went to Hawaii last summer and I MADE him dive while I went to the spa, it was great. )

So the next year we let our son (13) get scuba certified and they will be diving together this year in Grand Cayman and Cozumel. My feelings aren't hurt if he dives, I just find something I like to do then we can swap stories of our experiences. While they dive together, I'm planning a horseback beach ride with my 12 y.o. daughter!

[ABCDEFG]

HOW WAS YOUR HORSEBACK RIDING EXPERIENCE? i AM GOING IN JULY 2005 AND WOULD LIKE TO GO RIDING WITH MY 14 y.o. SON.

 

 

 

My DH would not dive in Grand Cayman during our last cruise in '03 although I TRIED to convince him. I had planned to take the kids to see the stingrays.

I felt like he missed out on something wonderful b/c he was worried about our feelings. (We went to Hawaii last summer and I MADE him dive while I went to the spa, it was great. )

So the next year we let our son (13) get scuba certified and they will be diving together this year in Grand Cayman and Cozumel. My feelings aren't hurt if he dives, I just find something I like to do then we can swap stories of our experiences. While they dive together, I'm planning a horseback beach ride with my 12 y.o. daughter!