Need advice~Fiance's ex won't let us have the kids for vacation!

[1wildRN]

I am sooo sorry to hear that your ex is doing this to your children out of spite. My ex has to sign a notarized letter to allow our teenage daughters to cruise with me in August. In an effort for him not to make himself look like a total dish rag, I don't forsee any problems to arise with him signing. Especially, considering he has NEVER extended an invitation to our teenage daughters for any vacations he's had with his "new family" in the last 10 years. I say, "See you in court!" She won't want you to drag her a$$ through court again, where, without significant grounds she's going to lose. Good luck and keep us posted.

[stewpapa]

Good point about not taking them without the paper...could put you on the defensive when you get back. But they would have had a good vacation and you would be a hero for sticking your neck out for them. Kids that age don't even have to live with the custodial parent if they don't want to. (15 and 17) We're not talking babies here. All they have to do is tell the judge and they can go with who they want as long as there are no abuse or drug issues out there. They have free choice most of the time. Its a shame that its even an issue. What about doing things for our kids and not using them for a change. Shameful what we do to our kids.

[nrdsb4]

The OP's fiance CAN legal get the passport (at least in Texas). There is standard wording stating the both parties are required to provide documentation/signatures for such things. But like I said earlier, she can deny them the right to leave the country.

 

 

The requirements for passports in Texas are no different than anywhere else as it is not a state issue. The OP's fiance cannot get his kids a passport without the Mom's cooperation.

 

However, I think the OP mentioned that the kids (at least one of them) already has a passport. In any case, the father doesn't need their passports, only their BC, which he can get without the Mom's involvement. The most critical piece he is missing at present is Mom's permission for the kids to travel or a court order.

[poobears]

All I can say is we are only hearing one side. Mom may have a very valid reason for not letting OP and her Dh take the kids out of the country. I dealt with Dh's ex for years and the things she'd say to try to make us the bad guy were shocking so I won't judge her since I don't know the real facts from her side.

 

All I will say is let the judge decide and do it 100% legally. If it were me and you took my kids out of country on a lie saying you were going somewhere else or snuck them out of country without permission. There'd be an officer waiting for you when you got back and I'd make it my mission to make sure you never had unsupervised visitation again. No one here would stand for their kids being taken like that so they shouldn't be encouraging you to do it. But it's not their butts on the line so I guess it's easy to say.

[eyeamacruiser]

You better read your divorce decree thoroughly. If it says that you can't take the kids out of state, over a certain mileage etc, you better get something from her in writing. :D

[LemurCat]

The requirements for passports in Texas are no different than anywhere else as it is not a state issue. The OP's fiance cannot get his kids a passport without the Mom's cooperation.

 

However, I think the OP mentioned that the kids (at least one of them) already has a passport. In any case, the father doesn't need their passports, only their BC, which he can get without the Mom's involvement. The most critical piece he is missing at present is Mom's permission for the kids to travel or a court order.

 

Yeah, the OP has stated that the kids have passports but the mother has physical custody of said passports and will not hand them over to the kids.

[gone_cruisin]

The requirements for passports in Texas are no different than anywhere else as it is not a state issue. The OP's fiance cannot get his kids a passport without the Mom's cooperation.

 

As stated verbatim out of 2 Texas divorce decrees.........

 

It is orderd that either party is authorized to apply for a passport for the child, XXX XXXXXX

 

Yes, I agree she would still need to sign the form.

[nrdsb4]

^^^If I were the Dad, I'd just order up a couple of BC's and not have to be at her mercy for the passports (assuming the judge overrules her objections about the cruise).

[poobears]

Since you don't need passports those aren't really an issue if Dad gets in gear and orders BC. Wouldn't even consider it without a court ordering it's OK though.

[nrdsb4]

As stated verbatim out of 2 Texas divorce decrees.........

 

It is orderd that either party is authorized to apply for a passport for the child, XXX XXXXXX

 

Yes, I agree she would still need to sign the form.

 

Yes, that's why I stated that both parents' cooperation is needed. Passport regulations are a federal issue, not state issue. Divorce decrees notwithstanding, the federal government decides what is needed for a passport. State courts don't trump that.

 

BTW, 10 years ago, one parent could apply for a minor's passport. Now, both parents are required to be present, or one parent can send a notarized form authorizing the other parent to apply without their presence. Passport rules change from time to time (and there are provisions made for kids who have an absent parent or in cases where only one parent has exclusive custody and all rights associated with that, etc.), but it still all comes from the federal gov't. A state divorce decree can state whatever it wants, but if it conflicts with federal policy, it's meaningless.

[songbird1329]

All I can say is we are only hearing one side. Mom may have a very valid reason for not letting OP and her Dh take the kids out of the country. I dealt with Dh's ex for years and the things she'd say to try to make us the bad guy were shocking so I won't judge her since I don't know the real facts from her side.

 

All I will say is let the judge decide and do it 100% legally. If it were me and you took my kids out of country on a lie saying you were going somewhere else or snuck them out of country without permission. There'd be an officer waiting for you when you got back and I'd make it my mission to make sure you never had unsupervised visitation again. No one here would stand for their kids being taken like that so they shouldn't be encouraging you to do it. But it's not their butts on the line so I guess it's easy to say.

 

 

You would ask, but you might ...or might not...get unsupervised visitation. didn't happen when my ex took our then-6-year-old daughter on vacation. he told me he was vacationing at home, but an hour after he picked up our daughter he called me and said "I'm leaving town and I'm not telling you where I am going and I will see you in a week." the family court judge made us "work it out for next time", i.e., the judge yelled at him a little bit and then told him that the next time he went on vacation he was required to provide me with the address of the hotel and contact information.

[Newfun4me]

I'm guessing that the divorce papers state that the dad cannot take the kids out of the country without the mom's permission. Is that right? I live in Texas and am divorced. I thought we had pretty standard wording and my papers don't say anything like that. If I wasn't expressly denied that opportunity, I would get a copy of the birth certificate and take them. However, I would not go against a court order.

[nrdsb4]

I'm guessing that the divorce papers state that the dad cannot take the kids out of the country without the mom's permission. Is that right? I live in Texas and am divorced. I thought we had pretty standard wording and my papers don't say anything like that. If I wasn't expressly denied that opportunity, I would get a copy of the birth certificate and take them. However, I would not go against a court order.

 

Divorce decrees can be very different from case to case. It all depends on what the various parties agreed to, the judge who handled the divorce, etc. If the Mom has exclusive custody and the Dad only has visitation (vs. joint custody), it's very possible that Mom really holds most of the cards.

[gone_cruisin]

You would ask, but you might ...or might not...get unsupervised visitation. didn't happen when my ex took our then-6-year-old daughter on vacation. he told me he was vacationing at home, but an hour after he picked up our daughter he called me and said "I'm leaving town and I'm not telling you where I am going and I will see you in a week." the family court judge made us "work it out for next time", i.e., the judge yelled at him a little bit and then told him that the next time he went on vacation he was required to provide me with the address of the hotel and contact information.

 

That's what happens more often than not.

What I am finding is that unless it is something that absolutely detrimental to the child (not don't flame and make statements that leaving the country is detrimental - cause it's not when the full intention is solely for a vacation), like things involving health insurance or possesion schedule adjustments based on child abuse, the courts won't make final rulings. They will make the two parties work out amongst themselves.

 

My case was a perfect example that.

 

I agree - do not take the kid out of the country unless you want to run the risk of a psycho calling the police and reporting a kidnapping.

 

AND YES, ANYONE PARENT THAT AGREES TO AN OUT OF COUNTRY TRIP, RESCENDS IT FOR THEIR OWN PERSONAL GAIN AND THEN REPORTS A KIDNAPPING IS A PSYCHO!!!!! THAT'S MERELY A CONTROL ISSUE!

[comeon530]

All I can say is we are only hearing one side. Mom may have a very valid reason for not letting OP and her Dh take the kids out of the country. I dealt with Dh's ex for years and the things she'd say to try to make us the bad guy were shocking so I won't judge her since I don't know the real facts from her side.

 

All I will say is let the judge decide and do it 100% legally. If it were me and you took my kids out of country on a lie saying you were going somewhere else or snuck them out of country without permission. There'd be an officer waiting for you when you got back and I'd make it my mission to make sure you never had unsupervised visitation again. No one here would stand for their kids being taken like that so they shouldn't be encouraging you to do it. But it's not their butts on the line so I guess it's easy to say.

 

I started to say something similar several pages ago. We are hearing one side of the story. We don't know that she is being vindictive. I can think of several reasons I would be uncomfortable with my child cruising with my spouse if we were divorced.

 

Let's face it: It's not the end of the world if these kids don't get to go on a cruise. They will be adults soon enough and their dad can take them anytime he wants then.

 

I'm glad the OP is going into court to solve this and not just relying on well-meaning but somewhat mis-guided advice here. It would NEVER be a good idea to take a child out of the country when the other parent refuses consent unless you have legal documentation saying you can do so.

[nrdsb4]

 

I'm glad the OP is going into court to solve this and not just relying on well-meaning but somewhat mis-guided advice here. It would NEVER be a good idea to take a child out of the country when the other parent refuses consent unless you have legal documentation saying you can do so.

 

I agree with you. There was a VERY similar post recently on one of the boards. Another CC member stated that she (the stepmother or girlfriend, I don't remember which) FORGED the mother's signature on the NOTARIZED permission slip allowing the children to travel with the father on a cruise. Apparently they were never asked for it and the Mom never knew about the fake paperwork. I just had to shake my head at the audacity.

[spenc]

Wish the OP would give us an update!

[LemurCat]

Wish the OP would give us an update!

 

Chances are you won't hear from the OP until after 4PM local time if they had a court date.

[happycruiser1942]

Just got a copy of the order that was filed at 2:11 this afternoon that states that the kids CAN go on vacation with us! Their mother had no good reason except she didn't want them to go!

 

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW..........................:p

[Mary Ellen1]

Congratulations. Very happy for you & the kids. And VERY glad that you did it legally, through the court system (PITA that it is...)

 

Woo hoo! Get ready to CRUISE!!!

 

:D

[Litewait]

I am so happy for you:D And so happy the judge shot her down!! What happened with the passports? Is she giving them to you or do you have to go thru the bc thing??

 

Have a great cruise~

[nrdsb4]

Just got a copy of the order that was filed at 2:11 this afternoon that states that the kids CAN go on vacation with us! Their mother had no good reason except she didn't want them to go!

 

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW..........................:p

 

Thank you for giving us an update.:D

 

Was the judge matter of fact or did he tell her off?

 

How did she take it?

 

Sorry, NONE of my business, but I hate this kind of manipulation thing after a divorce. I bet the kids are thrilled or will be when they find out. Glad it all worked out for you.

[comeon530]

Great news! I'm glad you went about it the right way and that it worked out so well and so quickly.:)

[Prphan2]

That is AWESOME!!!

 

Thanks for letting us know!

[bplazo]

I can just imagine that the mother of the children is going to be more vindictive in the future and just cause you more problems. Not a great situation for the children to be in.

 

Have a fun cruise.