I'm a paranoid parent.....

[momof4boys]

A different opinion here (no flames, please). I don't think you're paranoid at all.

 

My life's work is educating young adults. As a mother of 4 sons (all in their 20s), and as a professional who works with literally thousands of college students each year, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to her again about being safe (alcohol consumption, hooking up, protecting her drink at all times, never walking alone, having a way to contact you in case something happens, etc).

 

The ship is a small town. In small towns all over this country, young women are assaulted every day. It's not the "weirdos" who assault young women--it's the ones who appear to be perfectly normal, most often someone with whom they are acquainted. Where there's alcohol, there has to be the assumption that bad decision-making goes along with it.

 

There's no such thing as "too many times" when it comes to reminding our young adults how to have a great time in responsible ways. Our young adults today know how the evening will begin, almost always know what they plan to do during the evening, but rarely do they plan how their evening is going to end.

 

 

 

Totally agree!

[jbanana1]

After I had my own kids I understood why my mom said that she could never get to sleep until I was home safe and sound even when I was 20-21 yrs. old.

 

All your kids need to be cautious but that doesn't mean not allowing them to roam and have fun nor does it mean you won't still worry. Go over the things they need to do to be safe (stay with another person if at all possible; don't let your drink out of your sight; don't go into a strangers cabin or have them in yours, etc) and hopefully you'll be in the majority of people that nothing bad happens.

[TahoeBob]

We will be cruising for the first time in October. We are taking, our DD - 21, DD boyfriend - 21, DD - 18, DD friend - 18, DS - 17 and DS - 12. There is no such thing as being paranoid when it comes to your kids safety, no matter how old they are. All of our kids will be required to check in, and never go anywhere alone. They are all responsible and great kids, but I think I would be a little nervous, even if they were all 30! They will not be required to stay with us all of the time, but we need to know that they are safe and making good choices....at home or on a cruise ship.

Your are making a 21 year old check in, that is way over the top. I guess its just a different way of parenting than I am use to. By the time my kids hit 21 they were all on there own, doing there own thing. My youngest daughter about 3 weeks after she graduated high school told me and her mother that she was moving. At the time we were living outside of sacramento california. Lisa informed us that she was moving to New York city and she did, she has been back in NYC for 10 years now and loves it.

 

I guess I trusted my kids to make the right decisions and live there own lives, and the last thing I wanted to do was try to run my kids lives after they became adults. I tried to do my best as a parent and I think I did a fairly good job, sometime you just have to trust them and not try to continue to control every move. a 21 yo is a adult not a child try to treat then as such.

[stargate fan]

that's too bad for them

 

That was rude. :(

I'd be pretty angry being woken up by a knock on a neighbor's door every night of a cruise.

 

Our kids have cruised in their own cabin since they were 14 and 16.5. We had rules that they were expected to follow: They had to stay together at all times. They could not push elevator buttons or run down hallways. They had to be courteous to everyone they encountered. Anything posted on CC about rude children was prohibited behavior to our kids.

 

They had free reign of the ship because we trusted them. We read them the riot act before each cruise-any violation of our expectations would automatically nullify their freedom for the remainder of said cruise. Turns out we never had to speak with them because they behaved well. Were they perfect angels? Of course not. But their behavior never violated our trust.

 

We had walkie talkies and every night they would let us know when they were in their cabin for the night. This way, we didn't disturb other cruisers who might be sleeping, and it gave us peace of mind.

 

Perhaps the OP can purchase walkie talkies to keep tabs on her kids.

[babyher]

Your are making a 21 year old check in, that is way over the top. I guess its just a different way of parenting than I am use to. By the time my kids hit 21 they were all on there own, doing there own thing. My youngest daughter about 3 weeks after she graduated high school told me and her mother that she was moving. At the time we were living outside of sacramento california. Lisa informed us that she was moving to New York city and she did, she has been back in NYC for 10 years now and loves it.

 

I guess I trusted my kids to make the right decisions and live there own lives, and the last thing I wanted to do was try to run my kids lives after they became adults. I tried to do my best as a parent and I think I did a fairly good job, sometime you just have to trust them and not try to continue to control every move. a 21 yo is a adult not a child try to treat then as such.

 

 

 

How great to hear .

 

As my kids get older and take on more responcibility in life , it amazes me and really makes me proud to see them spread their wings and go. Of course I love them and will always worry about them , but I would never ever do anything to stifle them (Unless they were doing something really dangerous and illegal)

 

We raise our kids to go out in the world and become productive , not so they end up living in our basements until they are 50 like Clliff Clavin on "Cheers" *LOL*

 

My 21 yr old DS moved out last year , DW and I were sure he would be living like Oscar Madison *LOL*. He lives in a beautiful condo and he keeps it immaculate (Not just clean for some kids apartment, clean for anyone's home.) This is a kid who 3 years ago would have left a sock and his underwear hang off the ceiling fan until hell froze over *LOL*.

 

This year DD is off to college, of course we will miss her, of course we will worry, but we know she will make good choices because we taught her that, and she is a good level headed kid .

[momof4boys]

Your are making a 21 year old check in, that is way over the top. I guess its just a different way of parenting than I am use to. By the time my kids hit 21 they were all on there own, doing there own thing. My youngest daughter about 3 weeks after she graduated high school told me and her mother that she was moving. At the time we were living outside of sacramento california. Lisa informed us that she was moving to New York city and she did, she has been back in NYC for 10 years now and loves it.

 

I guess I trusted my kids to make the right decisions and live there own lives, and the last thing I wanted to do was try to run my kids lives after they became adults. I tried to do my best as a parent and I think I did a fairly good job, sometime you just have to trust them and not try to continue to control every move. a 21 yo is a adult not a child try to treat then as such.

 

I trust my kids....it is other people I don't trust. :eek:

[BeeBeeCee]

I trust my kids....it is other people I don't trust. :eek:

 

ditto ;)

[laumicmah]

As someone who has worked in the public school system recently, I find it very curious that so many folks say they trust their teen-21 year old children...that they raised them well and trust they will make good decisions. Hmmmmm....really?

[Crusin6]

I trust my kids....it is other people I don't trust. :eek:

exactly!!! However, many here just don't understand that is the point.

[Crusin6]

As someone who has worked in the public school system recently, I find it very curious that so many folks say they trust their teen-21 year old children...that they raised them well and trust they will make good decisions. Hmmmmm....really?

again...exactly right........it is the others I don't trust

[chickie_mite]

As someone who has worked in the public school system recently, I find it very curious that so many folks say they trust their teen-21 year old children...that they raised them well and trust they will make good decisions. Hmmmmm....really?

 

As someone who teaches college students, speaks to college students across the country, and writes about sexuality for a living, I can guarantee you that there are countless reasons not to trust preteens, teens, and college students. ;)

 

Sorry for the hijack.

[wentworth]

That was rude. :(

I'd be pretty angry being woken up by a knock on a neighbor's door every night of a cruise.

 

 

 

 

 

I agree. However, I would be happy to return the favor around

6-7 am when I go out for my morning walk.

[winddawn]

Nothing wrong with discussing the "what if's" before the cruise and having her know exactly how to react on a ship if she gets into an uncomfortable situation. Have a plan before you go. Have her find the ship phone locations in major public areas soon after embarkation, make sure she knows the layout of the ship so she can find her way around quickly if need be, etc. Although cell phone rates are high at sea, have her keep her cell phone with her at all times. Keep yours on and with you at all times. You don't have to use them unless it is an emergency, but she could use hers to call you if she gets in trouble. Have a plan, prepare, but relax and enjoy your cruise. Many kids make long distance friendships while cruising that last long after the cruise and she may make some great friends too.