Would it scare you to go into port leaving the kids behind?

[Onessa]

Anyway I have now decided' date=' Thanks to some great advice, to set some strict ground rules for my two and will allow them some freedom aboard.[/quote']

 

I agree with A&J's reply - at 12 & 13 it is a good time to be looking for controlled opportuntities for your kids to have more independence (and the responsibilities that goes with it).

[kassimer1]

I would never leave my child alone on the cruise ship after the horrible medical care he got on carnival valor. Thank god that when he fell and hit his head and couldnt remember anything we were on board because the nurse refused to believe that he could have passed out when he hit his head hard enough to require stitches. another child had to sit him up and take him down to the infermery because when the other 15 yr old called he was told the nurse couldnt come up there at this time and he should hold pressure on my sons head. She never thought to call for an adult to help. he then sat my son up (this is when my son became aware.) they never took xrays and did not keep him for observation. he was extremely sleepy after they sent him with us to the room and I woke him evey hour to check on him. ( he had only been awake a few hours before the accident and should not have been sleepy) he had a bad head ache for a week. He also said he started to black out in the elevator and she argued with him that he did not- How would she know she wasnt there!!!!! anyway i am glad i was there to keep waking him - who knows if someone had been told to wake Billy Mays or Natacha Richardson every hour they may still be alive. The nurse did not tell me to wake him - 20 years of working in the ER told me. Most kids wont get hurt and most will be perfectly fine if you are not there. it is just a personal choice. no one is right or wrong but for me its NO WAY

[bplazo]

I haven't read the thread and I honestly have no opinion about whether someone should or shouldn't do this; parents have to make their own choices. I just saw the question so I'm going to answer it.

 

I would be terrified to leave my daughter on board when I went into port, and I would also feel like I was missing out on experiencing things with her. That about sums it up. :)

 

My thoughts exaclty. I always vacationed with my daughter because I wanted to spend time with her and enjoy the ports. I did not mind if she went to the kids camp for maybe an hour but I always wanted to do things with her before she got older and did not want to spend as much time with her mom. Darn that day is already here :(.

[lovies]

I used to think it was strange that people would leave their kids on the ship. Then I got over it and it makes total sense. We've cruise several times before and the kids stayed with us. We went on a 10 night Meditterean with Disney a couple months ago and we left our 4 year old for one day while we were in Africa! It was a little unsettling at first and felt strange but then we realized that he was actually safer on board. We were around dangerous ruins with steps, around strange people (sorry to say). Anyway, he was safer then we were and he had a great day. On the ship there are doctors, professional staff to take care of him, etc. We left him for 8 hours which thereagain felt pretty weird but he was very safe!! The staff on those boats are trained very well! My other two older kids were able to enjoy the day with the younger child crying and complaining. We had such a good experience we left him two more times that trip while in Italy!! Sounds daring for some people and we aren't even people who use babysitters but it really did work out great!!!

[mickanddoe]

Are you nuts..it's not up to the ship to babysit your children..Take responsibility, you brought them, you watch them..If you are willing to pay for a babysitter then I would say that is OK but never leave them with a stranger or on their own..:confused::eek: I have a friend who babysit in a large chain of hotels..and she is good at it..I would first look to see what babysitting jobs they have on the ship but never leave them alone..

[junglejane]

Are you nuts..it's not up to the ship to babysit your children..Take responsibility, you brought them, you watch them..If you are willing to pay for a babysitter then I would say that is OK but never leave them with a stranger or on their own..:confused::eek: I have a friend who babysit in a large chain of hotels..and she is good at it..I would first look to see what babysitting jobs they have on the ship but never leave them alone..

 

Gee, it's hard to know where to start with a post like this. So I'll start here: have you ever actually been on a mass market cruise ship and visited that ship's kids' program? Because it sure sounds like you have no familiarity with them.

 

We've used the kids' programs on Princess, Celebrity and Royal Caribbean. They've all been excellent and very professionally run. If you gave my kids a choice between being "babysat" in a tiny stateroom with some babysitter, or hanging out in the dedicated kids center with the professional youth staff, other kids to play with, toys, games, crafts and organized activities, I know which they'd pick. No matter how good the sitter is, he or she won't be able to compete with what they offer in the kids' programs. Mostly our kids go into port with us, but sometimes they'd rather hang out in the Fun Zone/Fun Factory/Adventure Ocean.

[SciFiCruiser]

I am so glad to see cruise ships having such wonderful kids programs. I was on my first cruise in 1979 when I was 10. There was nothing but a small playroom for much younger kids and no supervision. I made some friends the first day and we hung out in the playroom at night after dinner and generally ran a muck (but we were good kids and did not cause any trouble).

 

We are taking our son (who will be 6) on a cruise in April and I plan to make good use of the kids club so my husband and I can have some time together

 

But I agree it is up to the parents and nobody should be made to feel guilty for their decision.

[karatemom2]

Are you nuts..it's not up to the ship to babysit your children..Take responsibility, you brought them, you watch them..If you are willing to pay for a babysitter then I would say that is OK but never leave them with a stranger or on their own..:confused::eek: I have a friend who babysit in a large chain of hotels..and she is good at it..I would first look to see what babysitting jobs they have on the ship but never leave them alone..

 

You are a new poster here, so I will assume that you are still learning the ropes. First, addressing your first comment as "are you nuts" could be considered as attacking the OP which is not necessary. You can still state your opinion, while respecting the opinions of others. Also, it appears likely that you posted your response without reading through the entire thread. In the future, it is a good idea to read all the responses before posting, especially on a thread as long as this one. It might provide insight you did not have in just reading the initial post.

 

CC can be a wonderful resource for sharing information, but you will get the most out of it if you take the time to consider others opinions and be polite in expressing your comments.

 

Many very responsible parents that post here feel confident leaving their children in the excellent and professional care provided by the ship. They are loving and engaged parents who may make different choices than you might make, but certainly are not "nuts".

[Bound4Bermuda]

Yep, very true. But we all like to give our opinions anyway, including me :D.

 

Personally have never and will never leave my child on the ship when I get off of it. If my kiddo needed me, and I wasn't able to even be notified because I was off having fun in port somewhere, I would feel pretty irresponsible (just how i personally would feel). How do you explain why you weren't there to a kid that needed you?

 

And if we missed the ship? I can't even imagine how terrifying it would be for a four year old to be told her parents weren't coming to get her that night.

 

Is it extremely unlikely that this would happen? Yes, of course. But I'm not going to risk it. It just wouldn't be worth it. That is not a message I want to ever give to my child.

 

And as a side note, for me, there is a big difference between this and sending a child to daycare while you work. If they needed me at daycare, I would be in phone communication within minutes and there in under a half hour. And if I couldn't be, daycare could call my husband, mother, or father...definitely not happening on the cruise ship.

 

And the biggest difference is that daycare is a necessary means to make money to pay the bills, vs wanting to do something on vacation that you couldn't do if you had to bring the kid with you.

 

I agree with you. I'm certainly not judging anyone who does leave their children onboard. However, in my opinion, there's no comparison with my child being in daycare 3 minutes away from my work with teachers that I know, in a locked building that no one but parents can access, that they call me for the slightest little injury. Compare that to a cruise ship with COMPLETE STRANGERS watching my kids where they often traipse around the entire cruise ship--easily could wander off or be snatched up by some wacko. And I'm in a foreign land where there's no way for them to reach me if there's a problem? I certainly wouldn't enjoy myself worrying about them. (Quite frankly, I don't think I'll use the kids' club even when I'm ON the ship with them, but I am open to it once they and I see what it's like. ;)) I totally get that there are "adult activities" that some parents want to do and I think it's a great option for those who want to take advantage of it. But for me personally, I'm choosing a family vacation, and I want to do "family" activities. Does it mean we have to pass on some "thrilling adventure"? Maybe. But I'd rather play on the beach with my kids than do some snorkeling/jet-skiing trek, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by scheduling the vacation around my family's needs. But again, if it works for your family to use the service, fantastic! Have a great time! :)

[survivorfan]

Yes it would, but I've done it. I'm afraid for him any time that he is not by my side which is why I don't send him to day care. However, I'm Ok with leaving him for a few hours at time every now and then. I think that if something "really bad" happens when he was there that there would be little difference if I was on the ship or if I was off the ship. (except guilt) If some kid hits him over the head and knocks him out, I would take him to the Dr. I believe that is the same thing the staff would do. I believe that the counselors take good care of them and do everything for the kids safety. If I didn't believe that I wouldn't leave my DS even when I was on the ship.

 

By the way, I don't need to be flamed. The OP was just asking how others feel.

 

Jam82, you have a healthy approach to the kids on the boat question. There are many premadonna moms who think they are a step above the rest because they "would never leave their kid" with a stranger on vacation. You said it well, and so did someone else here. The counselors are well-trained dedicated people, and honestly, the doctor on the boat put the child far closer to medical care than any doctor at a POC. If the child got whacked in the head, you would get medical attention if necessary. That's what they do. Plus if you take an excursion arranged through the cruise line, they have phones to the tour operators and can track you down. Think about it this way... I work 40 minutes away from my child's day care. If my child is really hurt, they will seek medical attention before I get there. The same applies here. If the child can't live without mom for a few hours that is another story of a whole different kind. Also another person brought up a good point about what if something happened to you at POC. Younger children are actually safer on board (under 3). Older ones (7+) I would take with me just for their experience but I if they wanted to stay, I would say OK.

[tcaccamo]

Obviously very strong opinions on both sides about what is acceptable for each of us. This just shows how strongly we all care for our kids and take pride in our ability to parent well. I've always considered myself somewhat overprotective (I'm working on loosening the reigns little by little!), but I have left my son in Adventure Ocean on RCI on several occassions, including a trip into Florence and Pisa when he was 9. He had a fantastic time. We had a chance to look at museums and other things that he would have found incredibly boring. I never worried about not making it back to the ship, just like I try not to worry about other things that are very unlikely to happen. He loves the program, and when he was younger we sometimes had to drag him out because he wanted to stay longer! That lets me know he's enjoying his vacation as much as we are, and we still spend the majority of our time together as a family. I would just reiterate "to each his own".

[giselleacttwo]

Yup, with no guilt whatsoever, provided my kids WANTED to stay. I've also left my (then) 2 & 4 year olds for four days with very close family friends to go to an out of state wedding with my husband. This horrified some parents I knew (on principle alone- they didn't know the closeness of our two families) but, like has been said, to each their own. My kids have been accustomed to being left in the care of responsible non-family adults since birth so it isn't traumatic to them. Both my husband and I have smartphones and will be very contactable in event of emergency. I don't even know if we'll be trying that this cruise. We'll play it by ear and see what the kids want to do.

[GoHuskies!]

Having read through this entire thread, it's very interesting--and telling--to note that it began with looking for and giving opinions on this subject. In fact, it continued on a neutral basis until very late in the thread, when a couple of posters found a high horse to mount and berate others. I think most posters have been objective and accepting, even through the various confessions of guilt feelings, which is pretty normal with parents.

 

The way that some have found accusations of irresponsibility where there are none, reminds me of what an old psych prof told me.

A psychiatrist was giving a Rohrshach test to a patient.

He asked, "What does this inkblot remind you of?"

Patient replied, "Sex."

Dr: "How about this one?"

Patient: "Sex."

Dr.: "And this third one?"

Patient: "Sex."

The doctor asked, "Does everything remind you of sex?"

Patient replied, "Hey, don't blame me. You're the one with the dirty pictures!"

[Liltx31]

Yes, we do. To us it's a calculated risk and we find the danger so low that the couple time we gain far surpasses the what if's. But we also go on cruises/vacations without them and trust them to the care of others when it would be almost impossible for us to get back to them in a short time. We do enjoy family cruises and that is why we take them but we do take 5 or so hours to enjoy an adventure just the two of us.

My husband is the center of my world our children enhance our relationship.

I also think it's fine for someone to not want to do it though. I think some children would not do well being left alone even if there was not an emergency. If your family functions better that way then I think you are making a great decision.

[tcaccamo]

Having read through this entire thread, it's very interesting--and telling--to note that it began with looking for and giving opinions on this subject. In fact, it continued on a neutral basis until very late in the thread, when a couple of posters found a high horse to mount and berate others. I think most posters have been objective and accepting, even through the various confessions of guilt feelings, which is pretty normal with parents.

 

The way that some have found accusations of irresponsibility where there are none, reminds me of what an old psych prof told me.

A psychiatrist was giving a Rohrshach test to a patient.

He asked, "What does this inkblot remind you of?"

Patient replied, "Sex."

Dr: "How about this one?"

Patient: "Sex."

Dr.: "And this third one?"

Patient: "Sex."

The doctor asked, "Does everything remind you of sex?"

Patient replied, "Hey, don't blame me. You're the one with the dirty pictures!"

 

 

That's hilarious---and so true! Chances are if you are looking for something, you'll find it. People have a way of skewing things to match their expectations! I'm guilty of it myself!

[zstell]

My kids are older, ages 17-23. It honestly never occurred to me to leave them on the ship, I always planned activities as a family when they were with us. Now, we're taking my grand-daughter (age 3) in April and I would probably be very anxious leaving her on the ship. I don't think of this as a right or wrong parenting choice. Every parent knows their child and how they would respond to situations and what works for one might not work for another. We have been fortunate to be able to cruise a couple of times a year, so generally we have an adult vacation and a family vacation. When planning family vacations, we usually choose ports we've already visited and do whatever the kids want in port. This works for OUR FAMILY, but doesn't mean it's the right choice for every family. I have no doubt that my grand-daughter will be well cared for if I leave her in camp for an hour or 2. But, as parents with older children know, time goes by so quickly and I just love being with them as much as possible.

[mary_228]

When my kids were younger it worked out well to leave them onboard while we went on excursions with our older child (there is an 8 and 10 year difference).We were able to select shore excursions that were of the most interest to us and matched the activity level we could enjoy without the little ones. It also saved us quite a bit of money on ship excursions. They always were very happy in the youth program.

[JemMonster]

Last July in Juneau we started the port day as a family, but by mid-morning the kids had seen everything they wanted to see and were ready to go back onboard the Rotterdam. Since they are 10 and 14 and often spend time on their own at home, we felt it was OK to let them do so, plus I knew my dad was somewhere onboard and likely to find them at some point. We walked them through security, made sure our older son had his phone if he needed to reach us, told them not to fall overboard and then went back down the gangplank.

 

I'm not sure I'd leave them onboard if we were in a foreign port and/or while we went on an excursion, and we most likely wouldn't plan an excursion unless it was for the whole family. But in Alaska, at a non-tender port and with family around it felt perfectly safe.

 

I guess each parent needs to assess the situation and make their decisions based on the various elements.

[new2cruising72]

I woudn't do it. For one thing, vacation for me is about spending time together as a family. For another...I just couldn't leave dd with (for the most part) strangers and go any great distance away.

[CruisinIsMyThang]

Our cruise in July on the Carnival Splendor will be our first cruise with my DD who is 7. I have struggled with this as well, however, I have decided that the excursion that we plan that will include leaving her in Camp Carnival on the ship, will be our last port, that way she is used to Camp Carnival and she is familiar with it, and less likely to be scared about being left and will have made some friends by this point. I think if I tried it the first port we were in, that she would freak out. Just my thoughts.

[lhwils]

I leave my DD on board. I leave both of our cell phone numbers in case anything happens. We also do excursions that are close to the ship so we can always take a taxi and come right back.

[CariBear]

When my daughter was 3 we cruised with my dad and his wife. My husband and I took a snorkeling trip on a power boat....left my daughter with my dad and his wife....but also told them that it was okay to bring her to the kid's club if they decided to get off the ship. Turns out they decided to get off the ship...as they left us a message in our cabin letting us know what time our daughter went to the kid's club. We then went to check on her....and she didn't want to leave! This was about 1/2 way through our cruise and we knew our daughter was enjoying the club. I don't think I could have left her if I felt uncomfortable with the kid's club staff...or if I knew she was not enjoying herself.

 

We recently went on a cruise in November with my now 8 year old daughter and our 3 year old son. I knew I could not leave my 3 year old on the ship....he is very shy and cried when we would try and leave him at the kid's club. So in this instance...no, I would not feel comfortable leaving my child on the ship. I think it really depends on your child and how comfortable you feel with the care given in the kid's club.

[wcurry66]

I understand why people would do this.

 

For us, we're overly paranoid, selective. Its been 15 months since my daughter moved in at age 5 (foster to adopt; finalized Aug '10). We've yet to find a babysitter!!

 

We did do one date laat Feb. My neice watched her. But we didn't go far and had my cell phone on speed dial. Our life has adapted to revolve around her interests.

 

Since we are not adventure seekers, there are no excursions we'd do that would be inappropriate for DD.

 

The reason for the cruise (besides to get her hooked) is to continue to bond as a family unit and to make memories. As such, we prefer to share our island adventures with her.

 

YMMV

[Raven Days]

I am taking my 4 year old grand daughter on her first ever cruise in 2 weeks. Her mother (my daughter) has told me that I can not leave the ship with out the kid! Seemed like a no brainer to me. I will be traveling alone with her and would not be comfortable leaving her behind. What if something happened to me on shore and I was left behind...what would happen to my grandchild?

 

I just would not do it. Even if my daughter had not asked me to not to, I wouldn't have. I would be worried that she got sick or hurt or cried for me and I wasn't there for her. Nope she goes where I go!

[mommyto2kids]

We did it once, took DS(3) with us and left DD(6) at camp and DS(14) on the ship. We did it in San Juan where we were not going on an excursion and only walking around downtown.

 

The ship was in view our entire time and we got back on hours before the ship was scheduled to leave so in situations like this I was not concerned about missing the boat.

 

Prior to this experience I was also a parent who said I would never do this, but we were literally waiting for the elevator with all of our kids to get off the ship and we ran into another family who had already been off the ship and had to come back because the kids were hot and bored. They came back to drop off their kids at camp. I will say that this decision made it a better day for everyone.