12 Year old and "wandering" the ship

[AAAMom]

Hi all,

We are cruising in April 06 on the Jewel. Our son will be 12 1/2ish at that point. He has no siblings, so other than making friends on the ship, he will be alone. How have other parents handled letting their kid roam the ship during the day and evening. He is responsible. Any thoughts, suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Thanks

[Suesan Jean]

:) Good Morning AAAMom, I to will be cruising (next month on the Norwegian Dawn) with a 12 and a half DD. She too is an "only" child, she usually enjoys being with us, her old Mom and Dad, but, I am hoping that on this trip, she makes some friends. She has been e-mailing the DD of a fellow CC'er on our "Roll Call". Which I hope is going to help, but you know kids, especially pre-teens and teens, sometimes they get along, sometimes they don't......

Does your ship have a "Kid Zone/Area"? I want my DD to go at least to the first meeting, if she hooks up with some kids, GREAT!!, if not, she will hang with us.

I definitely would NOT let my daughter wander the ship on her own, if she makes friends (hopefully more then two girls) then, maybe she can be with them, but only with some rules, like having a walkie-talkie with her at ALL times, NEVER go into any other cabin, and ALWAYS behave properly.

I do hope you and your family have an EXCELLENT time on your cruise!!

 

Suesan:):):)

[cruizinwithkids]

Reading other threads on this issue make me cringe at the freedom I have allowed my two, who are teenages now, in the past. Just remember there is a large mixed population on that ship. It is a ship full of strangers. Would you let your son hang out with a bunch of strangers at home. With that scary thought being shared, your son may object to the kids program because he is definately at the top end of it. Push him anyway because if there is a big group of kids on the sailing he will meet kids anyway. One thing they are generally pretty strict with is maintaining the age groups within the program. We have gone with groups and fought hard to get the kids into a group with their friends even though they are a few months shy of the age. Sometimes with success and sometimes not. If this is not a school vacation week you may have problems with him hooking up with other kids. We took the kids out of school one week when they were 11 and 12. There were no other kids their age on the ship and the kids program was one combined group where identifying animals was activity one day. Again, please remember as I will on my upcoming cruise that I wouldn't allow my kids to wander the streets where they would encounter strangers and and I'm not going to on the cruise.

[wtevrfltsurbt]

Kudos to you moms that watch out for the safety of your children! I also have cruised w\kids in the past and am going to be on deck the Mercury at the end of this month with a 13 yr old daughter. The fact is many parents just let them run wild. I agree with all said here by the other parents with regard to cabins, and walkie-talkie etc. For the parents who really are taking this vacation for themselves and HAVE to take the kids may I suggest a Big Red Boat?

Happy cruising!

[42trvl]

Our children are also very responsible, and maybe I am a bit overprotective, but so far I have been comfortable letting my 12 year old go alone directly from "point A to point B" (i.e. dining room to cabin or at a set time from kids club back to cabin), but not wander around on her own. I don't really see the environment and mix of people on a ship being any different than anywhere else when it comes to safety and responsibility. So while we like to give the kids some freedom we also want to know where they are at any given time.

[familycruzer]

I am middle of the road on the freedom aspect. On our next cruise my kids will be ..

 

DS 11

and

DD 14

 

 

I will allow my 14 year old the ability to run to the cabin for something and to check herself in and out of Adventure Ocean ONLY when we plan ahead what time and where to meet. I might allow her to hang with a group of new friends if I am comfortable with it at the time.

 

My 11 year old will not be able to run to the cabin or check himself in or out of Adventure Ocean.

 

If they show me at the time they can get along, I will allow them to get food together from the Windjammer or Island Grill and come right back.

 

I would not let them wander the streets on town alone, I wont let them wander a ship alone either.

[alb38]

We just got off the Splendour in February with our 14 year old daughter and our 12 year old son. DD didn't want to participate in the teen activites because it was mainly boys but DS was all over with the new friends he met. We had purchased two way walkie talkies so that we could be in contact and he always had check in times. He really didn't go anywhere other than the teen club and the game room so I felt pretty comfortable knowing that if I needed to find him he would be in those two spots.

[AmyinVail]

Oh dear, my poor daughters! I am freakishly protective of my girls. I have a 10.5 year old and a 2.5 year old. My oldest DD has friends who ride their bikes over to our house, to the pool, etc. I still can't bring myself to let her. I always wonder if I had boys, if I would be more lenient - I am always so concerned about sexual predators. Anyway, my stomach flips when I read about kids wandering the ship alone....on HAL they have a teen's crows nest, which looks WAY too private for my tastes, too - even if my DD were old enough to be in the "teen" group, I still wouldn't let her go!!! :o So, my vote is that it's better to be cautious to the extreme, rather than be extremely regretful.

[kitty9]

The biggest complaint of cruisers is when kids are allowed to "wander" the ship alone, at all hours. Actually, when you think about it, when do young kids get in the most trouble? When they're alone? No, not usually. They get into the most trouble when they're with a group of kids. When you see problems with kids, it's when they're running in the halls, playing in the elevators and behaviors like that. You rarely, if ever, see a youngster behaving that way when he/she is alone.

 

Another thing to remember is, a ship is no different than being in a big city. You have all sorts of people, some good and some not so good. Would you let your kids wander around Chicago, NY, Los Angeles when on vacation, even if it was with a group of kids. For that matter, would you let your child wander around Souix City or any small town? A cruise ship, with over 5000 passengers and crew is the same as any city or town, and there are few, if any completely safe cities or small towns.

[AAAMom]

Thanks to all that responded. It was just as I thought and would do.

 

I think using the word wandering was a little...too much. What I really meant to say was allowing a 12 yr old to go from point a to point b. Or to go to the kid/teen center (after we have checked out the area) by himself with him telling us and checking in with us when he arrives. We would definitely have walkie talkies.

 

For the most part I would expect him to be with us...however, I know there will be times he will want to hang with kids his own age.

Thanks again!

[cruizinwithkids]

Unless things have changed since last April when I was on the crown anyone younger than the teen group has to be signed in and out of the kids program. The first time or two the kids cruised this was not the case but after 9/11 (I don't get the corrolation but that's what I was told by NCL) kids have to be signed in and out. It was a bit of an adjustment because my kids had been used to going to dinner with us, choking down their dinner and then taking off for the kids crew.

[karen2cruz]

AAAmom - I think you need to sit down with your son and make a plan. Give him options, but please don't let him "wander". The kids programs on most ships will have a separate daily patter/note/paper put in your stateroom. It will have all the daily activities. Have him sit down with you and plan out each day. If you get to know the basic layout of the ship upon arrival, you could give him leeway to go to the buffet or hang out at the arcade, etc. Also, he should know where you will be for most of the day. Post it notes on the bathroom mirror as you come and go work out well too.

 

I had 3 teens who started cruising when they were 16,14,11. This worked out very well. We also used 2 way radios with vibrators (so as to not annoy other passengers).

[bplazo]

We took my daughter on her first cruise at 11. I am very over protective and I only let her out of my sight one time when we were on that cruise and then I worried about her and went and found her 10 minutes later.

 

She did not make any friends on that cruise and although she had a good time I felt that she would have had a better time if we had brought a friend along so on our next two cruises we took her friend (it did not cost that much extra) and she a better time.

[seaway]

We cruised in the Mediterranean last summer with our 13, 11 and 9 year old children. I did let them go from point A to point B with the friends they met. Someone suggested that before we go, we bring along Motorola walkie talkies. This worked out great. We kept the volume low so as not to bother other passengers but if I wanted to check on them, they were just a push of a button away. You can get them at any large electronics store, (Radio Shack, Best Buy, Target etc.) Good Luck!!

[nrdsb4]

My daughter was 13 on our last cruise, but because she's very tall, she looks a couple of years older. I let her go from the pool to our cabin alone to fetch her CD player. She complained about a "man" who kept talking to her on her way to the cabin. She finally ducked up the staircase and got to the room fine.

 

My opinion now is NEVER AGAIN. The cruise lines do not check passengers for criminal history. How do you know for sure who is traveling with you? As far as walkie talkies, they do not protect your children from harm. Remember the lovely college student who was abducted and killed WHILE TALKING ON HER CELL PHONE TO HER BOYFRIEND? That phone, while providing her boyfriend with a good idea that something was amiss, did not keep her safe.

 

Maybe I'm too protective, but I'd rather err on the safe side. No children walking through the ship alone ever. I do let my two daughters go from point A to point B as a twosome, but even then I have to make myself relax and know that I can't always hover over them.

 

Knowing when to hold tight and knowing when to loosen the grip is one of the challenges of parenting I never really imagined beforehand.

[Bethwte]

Well, I'm not sayin this is right, but I was always allowed to "explore" the ship when I was 12-17 (I'm 18 now). I am pretty responsible, and can handle myself, but honestly until I read these boards, I didnt realize how potentially dangerous that could have been. Nothing ever happened to me, but I guess it could have. Just remember that a ship is like a cross-section of a city with ALL different kinds of people, and do what you'd feel comfortable with.

[bluehorizonlover123]

I have 3 sons. We have been traveling for years. At 12 and a half they still can not sign themselves out of the kids zone by themselves. so if you walk them to the kids zone and leave them with other kids they should be fine. Then you would pick them up when you are ready. When my kids were 12 I was constantly checking up on them. When they were 13 I let them do there own thing. And now that they are 14 I let them do their own thing. But they quickly make friends with other kids and then spend most of their time with those kids thru out the week. Once there was a man who was alittle strange and following one of them, but he knew not to talk to the man and walked away. But really you don't have to be totally worried. Have them check in to your room all the time. Leave messages from hallway phones or whereever they are and leave messages on your room phone telling you where they are and how long they are going to be there. Then when I go back to the room I have a listing of everything that they have been doing and where they are and when they will be back to the room. Hopefully they will make friends right away, make plans to do things together, meet and then stay with a group most of the day.

[travellady]

I insisted my 11.5 year old son go to the Kid's Club the first night on our Princess Diamond cruise this past Feb so he could hook up with kids his age. Early in the week they pretty much hung out there and did activities but as the week went on, they gravitated to the basketball court. I allowed him to go with his new found friends but he was required to carry his walkie talkie at all times. I do allow him the freedom of meeting his friends at the pool, or at the basketball court, or ping pong table, but he always has to contact us when he moves from one activity to the next and he knows when we buzz him, he'd better answer. And, if he tells me he's playing ping pong and I go to check and that's not where he is, there will be consequences. Also, he was not allowed out of the cabin after 10PM unless he was going somewhere with us.

 

Maybe because I have 3 boys, the oldest are now 26, I don't feel quite as protective as some of you here with early teen girls. I try not to be overly fearful of what could happen; I believe kids need the freedom to explore on their own, gain the sense that we trust them, yet know there are rules to be followed with consequences if those rules are broken.

[Soxfan05]

I think you found a good balance. We'll be travelling with our twin 10 1/2 year olds and a 9 year old friend. Did the walkie talkies work well? We brought them with us last year when we stayed in the Mayan Riviera but found they didnt' work. We weren't sure if it was the heavy vegetation that prevented the signal from working.

[Girlsnightout]

My sons have been walking around on their own for a few years (they're 12 and 15 now) on cruises. My rule is that I always have to know where they are, so if they leave one area (basketball court) to go to another (card room or for ice cream, for example), they have to let me or my mom or sister know. They are always with a group of friends they meet onboard. We stake out a spot on deck and one of us is there or in the cabin so they can find us.

 

With boys their age, it would be beyond embarassing to have mommy escorting them everywhere!

[travellady]

SOXFAN05 - we found the walkie talkies were pretty reliable. There were some places on the ship where the didn't work - in the elevator for example. Also, when my son played basketball, he'd put it down at the side of the court and not always hear it. But, at those times, I'd go to the place where he said he'd be and find him there.

 

When we sailed the Inspiration in December, we didn't have walkie talkies but he hooked up with a friend who did. We had a few stressful moments not being able to find him (on formal night he couldn't get through the picture taking area to get back to the cabin to get dressed and he was 15 minutes late. We were pretty panicked). After that cruise, we decided we would not sail without walkie talkies again.

 

Providing him independence with an "electronic leash :-)" has made all the difference in the world for us. I can honestly say we came home from this last cruise totally rested. And he came home feeling a bit more grown up :-)

[richnorto]

I guess might be the voice of unreason here. My DD cruised with grandparents and a cousin last year (11 &13). Granted, there were not many children on the ship mid Jan., but they were allowed great freedom - as long as they were together. They had a great time and maybe gained some confidence. I felt very comfortable with the situation. I know there are crazies in the world, but on a ship, in public areas - probably safer than the mall!...

[alylee777]

Hi,

 

I think that probably having an only child makes me more protective. I think my son, who will turn 11 on our cruise in May will either be at the Adventure program or with us. That is really the only way I can feel comfortable about his safety. I would not let him wonder around a hotel by himself or a mall at this age so he will stay close by. I imagine if he had an older sister or brother I would allow point a to point b but not by himself. Luckily he is the type of kid who prefers to hang with us or the kids at Adventure.

A:D

[Chucksta63]

SOXFAN05 - we found the walkie talkies were pretty reliable. There were some places on the ship where the didn't work - in the elevator for example. Also, when my son played basketball, he'd put it down at the side of the court and not always hear it. But, at those times, I'd go to the place where he said he'd be and find him there.

 

When we sailed the Inspiration in December, we didn't have walkie talkies but he hooked up with a friend who did. We had a few stressful moments not being able to find him (on formal night he couldn't get through the picture taking area to get back to the cabin to get dressed and he was 15 minutes late. We were pretty panicked). After that cruise, we decided we would not sail without walkie talkies again.

 

Providing him independence with an "electronic leash :-)" has made all the difference in the world for us. I can honestly say we came home from this last cruise totally rested. And he came home feeling a bit more grown up :-)

I look at this as a learning experence. There is a gorup of us going so someone is always around. I let my son 11 go out exploring on his own. No going down the halways of the cabins, just the main decks. We use the walkie talkies and check in often. For the amount of money paid for these cruises, its not high on the list of places to go to do wrong to kids. Beleave me I am very protective of my kid but he knows the rules too. I let him go to the arcade on his own and to go get pizza and Ice cream.

[Guest enjoycruises]

We started cruising with our "only" child when he was abt 10. He stayed mostly with us and a couple of times with the Kid's Club. As he got older, he was allowed to walk more on his own always with a walkie talkie on. We were in constant communication. He is 15 now and when we cruise this summer hopefully he will team up with kids his age. He still will have to check in with us and of course have a curfew. We will still dine together and tour together. I have noticed some familes get on the ship together but never seem to be together once they are on board. How is THAT a "family" vacation?:rolleyes: