Have to cancel son's reservation b/o sports!

[D-Roc]

WOW!

 

To put school sports ahead of a family commitment during a period when there is no school (spring break) shows how priorities in this world are completely out of whack.

 

If this was during the school year then yes I would say the sport that was committed to needs to be the priority, but for anyone to expect a child to give up family time during a period that school is not in for a sport and then to place an ultimatum on that child (and family) is pathetic. Sports is not everything. Oh and I would feel the same way if this was any other activity, such as dance, etc.

[Warm Breezes]

WOW!

 

To put school sports ahead of a family commitment during a period when there is no school (spring break) shows how priorities in this world are completely out of whack.

 

If this was during the school year then yes I would say the sport that was committed to needs to be the priority, but for anyone to expect a child to give up family time during a period that school is not in for a sport and then to place an ultimatum on that child (and family) is pathetic. Sports is not everything. Oh and I would feel the same way if this was any other activity, such as dance, etc.

 

The reality is that sports demand a commitment for the duration of their season...whether school is in session or not. The reality is if you don't want to/or can't make the commitment, then either don't join the team or take the consequences if it means sitting out some games or losing starting positions. The reality is there is always another kid out there who is willing to make the commitment and is willing to take your kid's spot on the team if he/she can't commit to the team. The reality is that the sports schedules are usually posted well ahead of time and if its not you can always look at last years schedule or contact coaches when planning your vacations. OP did not take this into account when planning her vacation. She admitted not taking the responsibility to do so. The reality is, when you are a sports parent, you need to know your childrens sports schedules because you are committing them to the team when you allow them to play.

 

No sports is not everything. But it is a commitment to a team for a certain period of time. If you can't commit during that time period, then don't allow your child to join. When your child joins a team, then yes it does become a priority that they be there. No one has to give up family time if they plan accordingly. In fact, I consider the time we spend at my kids games and competitions as family time.

[MissDiva1]

WOW!

 

To put school sports ahead of a family commitment during a period when there is no school (spring break) shows how priorities in this world are completely out of whack.

 

If this was during the school year then yes I would say the sport that was committed to needs to be the priority, but for anyone to expect a child to give up family time during a period that school is not in for a sport and then to place an ultimatum on that child (and family) is pathetic. Sports is not everything. Oh and I would feel the same way if this was any other activity, such as dance, etc.

 

 

To alot of us family time is year round whether it is sports, dinner together, movie night or vacation.....we plan accordingly......not sure how you find that out of whack:confused:

[MissDiva1]

The reality is that sports demand a commitment for the duration of their season...whether school is in session or not. The reality is if you don't want to/or can't make the commitment, then either don't join the team or take the consequences if it means sitting out some games or losing starting positions. The reality is there is always another kid out there who is willing to make the commitment and is willing to take your kid's spot on the team if he/she can't commit to the team. The reality is that the sports schedules are usually posted well ahead of time and if its not you can always look at last years schedule or contact coaches when planning your vacations. OP did not take this into account when planning her vacation. She admitted not taking the responsibility to do so. The reality is, when you are a sports parent, you need to know your childrens sports schedules because you are committing them to the team when you allow them to play.

 

No sports is not everything. But it is a commitment to a team for a certain period of time. If you can't commit during that time period, then don't allow your child to join. When your child joins a team, then yes it does become a priority that they be there. No one has to give up family time if they plan accordingly. In fact, I consider the time we spend at my kids games and competitions as family time.

 

Indeed..........

[D-Roc]

To alot of us family time is year round whether it is sports, dinner together, movie night or vacation.....we plan accordingly......not sure how you find that out of whack:confused:

 

I never said anything of the sort. You are twisting my "words".

 

To cancel a long planned trip that is not during school time (spring break, summer, holidays, etc) because of a threat of being booted off the team is out of whack. I guess other families just like to teach that sports come before family.

[MissDiva1]

I never said anything of the sort. You are twisting my "words".

 

To cancel a long planned trip that is not during school time (spring break, summer, holidays, etc) because of a threat of being booted off the team is out of whack. I guess other families just like to teach that sports come before family.

 

Nobody cancelled a trip. It wasn't long plan and the op said she should have checked the schedule BEFORE she booked.......I'm not twisting anyones words:rolleyes: Nobody is teaching that sports come before family? In our house sports is a family event...........

[abisha]

I can relate 100%. My son plays Varsity baseball and football. V-baseball just started and then as soon as that's ending, he plays summer baseball (not as strict as they can always find fill-ins if you tell them when you are on vacation). But football practice starts 2nd to last week of August, and my son said if we cruised then, the coach would "make him pay" for it by not playing him, etc. It makes me mad that he'd only be missing practices, but that's how it is in high school sports. So we booked for early Aug., even though I could have saved a little more money if I cruised at end of August. I agree with those who have said to let the child decide.:)

[D-Roc]

:rolleyes:You are twisting.

 

I was responding to those many posts where clearly sports is a priority over everything else. Being and showing committed to a tema is great and should be done, but it should never dictate or run a family to the point of threats if a practice or a game is missed. This is what is so out of whack and if you don't get it then well.....just sayn'.

[MissDiva1]

:rolleyes:You are twisting.

 

I was responding to those many posts where clearly sports is a priority over everything else. Being and showing committed to a tema is great and should be done, but it should never dictate or run a family to the point of threats if a practice or a game is missed. This is what is so out of whack and if you don't get it then well.....just sayn'.

 

 

LOL! I believe they were talking about commitment not that sports are a priority;) Nothing is out of whack with being commited......if you don't want to commit then don't sign up.......why is that so hard to understand:confused:

[friedshrimp]

Nobody cancelled a trip. It wasn't long plan and the op said she should have checked the schedule BEFORE she booked.......I'm not twisting anyones words:rolleyes: Nobody is teaching that sports come before family? In our house sports is a family event...........

 

Excuse me, the son is not going and therefore his part of the trip is cancelled and the OP will not get any money back from her son's portion of the trip. And in my opinion, what is being taught is that the wants of one person's desire to play sports outweighs the wants of the rest of the family.

[halos]

Excuse me, the son is not going and therefore his part of the trip is cancelled and the OP will not get any money back from her son's portion of the trip. And in my opinion, what is being taught is that the wants of one person's desire to play sports outweighs the wants of the rest of the family.

 

:eek:

Wow.

 

I'm glad you all think this situation is so simple. :rolleyes:

Nothing about being a parent OR A KID and making decisions when things like this occur is as black and white as some of you make it out to be.

[MissDiva1]

Excuse me, the son is not going and therefore his part of the trip is cancelled and the OP will not get any money back from her son's portion of the trip. And in my opinion, what is being taught is that the wants of one person's desire to play sports outweighs the wants of the rest of the family.

 

That is their business how they choose to solve their dillema because they didn't check the schedule.......that's called taking responsibility.

[Shelbyjane56]

You should also give credit to yourself who foster such an environment that your daughter had the tools and guts to choose, and knowing that she will always have your support.

 

Thank you so much for your kind words!! We are happy that Sammy worked so hard to accomplish what was once her dream! We are even more proud that she made the deans list at Ball State both in the fall and just found out also for the spring. I find it sad that some parents dont think their kids would be able to play in a division one school, if a student athlete wants to try to play in college it starts well before they are much older than middle school and THEY must want it, not the parents!

[Warm Breezes]

Excuse me, the son is not going and therefore his part of the trip is cancelled and the OP will not get any money back from her son's portion of the trip. And in my opinion, what is being taught is that the wants of one person's desire to play sports outweighs the wants of the rest of the family.

 

And what if the wants of the rest of the family is to support the wants of the one who desires to play sports??? Which sounds like the case here.

 

The OP did not check the schedule before booking their vacation. This created a conflict with her son's sport. She decided to support him in his decision to stay home and play ball. There is nothing wrong with that. You may have decided to make your kid say no to playing ball and go on the cruise...there is nothing wrong with that either.

 

This is totally a family decision based on whether or not the kid really wants to pursue their sport and whether the parents really want to support the kid in their sport. There is nothing wrong with the decision made either way. Your priorities may not be their priorities, but that doesn't make either one of you wrong for chosing different priorities to follow.

[friedshrimp]

That is their business how they choose to solve their dillema because they didn't check the schedule.......that's called taking responsibility.

 

And what if the wants of the rest of the family is to support the wants of the one who desires to play sports??? Which sounds like the case here.

 

The OP did not check the schedule before booking their vacation. This created a conflict with her son's sport. She decided to support him in his decision to stay home and play ball. There is nothing wrong with that. You may have decided to make your kid say no to playing ball and go on the cruise...there is nothing wrong with that either.

 

This is totally a family decision based on whether or not the kid really wants to pursue their sport and whether the parents really want to support the kid in their sport. There is nothing wrong with the decision made either way. Your priorities may not be their priorities, but that doesn't make either one of you wrong for chosing different priorities to follow.

 

Y'all are right, it is their business. And so if it's only their business and if the entire family is so behind their son playing sports, even if it means giving up a cruise, then why bring it here? What is the purpose of the initial post? I've had great successes and great failures in life, I sure don't post them on a public forum unless I'm looking for someone's input on how to fix a problem.

[MissDiva1]

Y'all are right, it is their business. And so if it's only their business and if the entire family is so behind their son playing sports, even if it means giving up a cruise, then why bring it here? What is the purpose of the initial post? I've had great successes and great failures in life, I sure don't post them on a public forum unless I'm looking for someone's input on how to fix a problem.

 

Somebody need to get away:confused:

[Warm Breezes]

Y'all are right, it is their business. And so if it's only their business and if the entire family is so behind their son playing sports, even if it means giving up a cruise, then why bring it here? What is the purpose of the initial post? I've had great successes and great failures in life, I sure don't post them on a public forum unless I'm looking for someone's input on how to fix a problem.

 

I think she was looking for input. She got input from parents who would support their kids and she got input from parents wouldn't...along with a lot of commentary on the rights/wrongs of sports in America. She decided to support her kid. Even though she asked for input from parents on a cruise board, she still had to make her own decision on what she felt was best for her family.

[Mooder]

I respectfully disagree. Let my CHILD decide between a cruise or baseball? As the parent, I feel it is my job to make important (esp expensive) family decisions. And the main difference between little league and high school sports? Puberty and that's about it...Unless this team is this child's primary chance of a career or college, 20 yrs from now this team will be equally important as little league. It's time for mom to step back when mom isn't paying the bills anymore. THEMS my breaks...lol. But to each their own, in their own family..

 

Thank you. First, that is a big decision for a boy that age. Not sure why a parent would lay that responsibility on him. Discuss the decision with him - he's old enough to have an opinion - but lay it on him, no. Second, when will he be taught priorities if not now? Family is family is family. And will be long after baseball is forgotten. If the boy had made a commitment to the team and THEN a cruise was planned that would be a different thing. In that case, it is a chance to teach about keeping commitments. And I respect those who have chosen to schedule vacations around their kids' sports. But this is entirely different IMO.

 

Editing because I see the OP has come back and taken responsibility for not reading the schedule in advance. If the schedule was available at the time the cruise was booked, then I say the son should keep his commitment to his team.

 

But for those of you who think sports are so important, I hope you are also making family time as much a priority. Read the stats on family dinners. That is what will keep the kids out of trouble. Nothing against sports, but it can be taken too far. It is frightening to me how few families make it a priority to have dinner together because of all the activities the kids are involved in.

[MissDiva1]

Thank you. First, that is a big decision for a boy that age. Not sure why a parent would lay that responsibility on him. Discuss the decision with him - he's old enough to have an opinion - but lay it on him, no. Second, when will he be taught priorities if not now? Family is family is family. And will be long after baseball is forgotten. If the boy had made a commitment to the team and THEN a cruise was planned that would be a different thing. In that case, it is a chance to teach about keeping commitments. And I respect those who have chosen to schedule vacations around their kids' sports. But this is entirely different IMO.

 

The boy did sign on and the mother admitted to not taking the responisblity to check the schedule before she booked the cruise........

Family is family is family.........what in the heck does that mean?

[Mooder]

[/b]

 

The boy did sign on and the mother admitted to not taking the responisblity to check the schedule before she booked the cruise........

Family is family is family.........what in the heck does that mean?

 

I have edited my post since reading her admission.

 

I think it's obvious what I mean about family. It is, or should be, the #1 priority. Learning to be a good citizen who lives up to commitments is also a big priority. This is not a black and white issue the way many on this thread seem to think.

 

ETA: Thanks, Halos. I must have read your mind.

[MissDiva1]

I have edited my post since reading her admission.

 

I think it's obvious what I mean about family. It is, or should be, the #1 priority. Learning to be a good citizen who lives up to commitments is also a big priority. This is not a black and white issue the way many on this thread seem to think.

 

Of course family is number one..........most child atheletes have their families there to support them.......thus family time. We play together, eat together and vacation together......but we work around everyones schedules.......not just mom and dads vacation.....

[Warm Breezes]

Thank you. First, that is a big decision for a boy that age. Not sure why a parent would lay that responsibility on him. Discuss the decision with him - he's old enough to have an opinion - but lay it on him, no. Second, when will he be taught priorities if not now? Family is family is family. And will be long after baseball is forgotten. If the boy had made a commitment to the team and THEN a cruise was planned that would be a different thing. In that case, it is a chance to teach about keeping commitments. And I respect those who have chosen to schedule vacations around their kids' sports. But this is entirely different IMO.

 

Editing because I see the OP has come back and taken responsibility for not reading the schedule in advance. If the schedule was available at the time the cruise was booked, then I say the son should keep his commitment to his team.

 

But for those of you who think sports are so important, I hope you are also making family time as much a priority. Read the stats on family dinners. That is what will keep the kids out of trouble. Nothing against sports, but it can be taken too far. It is frightening to me how few families make it a priority to have dinner together because of all the activities the kids are involved in.

The family dinner table is not the only place to have "family time". It might be in your house and that's ok. We make family time a priority too...we just don't specify that it has to be at the dinner table.

 

I can admit that Sept - June, Mon-Wed this year we do not sit down to a "family dinner" because I am driving DD(14) to dance classes (1/2 hour there, 2 + hours of class, 1/2 hour home). The quality time I spend with my DD is riding in the car. I can guarantee I find out more of her life in that 1 hour riding than most parents get sitting at the dinner table. I get my arrends run and my personal down time while she is in class. I've been doing this 7 years, on top of DS(16)'s soccer/basketball games and I can tell you my family is a lot closer than many I know.

 

DS goes to his sisters dance competitions and she goes to his soccer/basketball games, and DH and I go to both. We go to church together and spend most time not at work, in sports, in school....together. When we vacation we do almost all of our activities together and eat every meal together...because we all want to. Even though we miss a lot of sit down family dinners....we spend more family time together, supporting each other's activities, than a lot of families do...probably a lot more time than they spend sitting at the table:rolleyes:.

[Mooder]

Of course family is number one..........most child atheletes have their families there to support them.......thus family time. We play together, eat together and vacation together......but we work around everyones schedules.......not just mom and dads vacation.....

 

There is really no need to get defensive since I was not commenting on your situation. Furthermore, it is not just mom and dad's vacation. It is a family vacation. Something the kid won't be able to participate in much longer if he is approx 14.

[MissDiva1]

There is really no need to get defensive since I was not commenting on your situation. Furthermore, it is not just mom and dad's vacation. It is a family vacation. Something the kid won't be able to participate in much longer if he is approx 14.

 

Not defensive at all ..........just trying show how sports is a family event.....which some think otherwise.

And don't under estimate vacation time after 14.........our DS still vacations with us along now with my wonderful DDIL and they are in their late 20's.........we are a close family......

[Mooder]

Not defensive at all ..........just trying show how sports is a family event.....which some think otherwise.

And don't under estimate vacation time after 14.........our DS still vacations with us along now with my wonderful DDIL and they are in their late 20's.........we are a close family......

 

I commend you for that! And believe me I have spent many hours sitting on bleachers and fields. There was a family vacation gap in teen (summer job) years, but then we returned to vacationing as a group of all ages and several generations.