Obnoxious Table Mates???

[snwarf]

DH & I are getting ready to go on our first cruise and have asked for a private table (not that I have any expectations of getting it...). He is active duty military (20+ years) and the LAST thing we want to talk about is the military and the war. :( Just because he is in the military does not mean we have a George Bush shrine in our living room! (it's actually in the den...JUST KIDDING!!!);)

[beachchick]

WeBeCruisin': If you reread your original post, you might see that, absent any actual vocal "tone" to imply that you were being humorous, your statement that conversations "sink to the lowest common denominator" could be construed as literary or intelligence "snobbiness." Particularly because you listed Joyce and Shakespeare first in your comparison of authors. I felt your attitude was that most people are essentially uninformed or illiterate.

 

However, we can't "hear" how another poster intends to convey a particular thought. (After all, those little smilies can only go so far.) I am willing to admit that I judged you more harshly than you deserved, but I still believe that your first post implied a superiority over other, less well-read, people. I was trying to convey my opinion that Shakespeare and King are not mutually exclusive. It sounded to me like you were stating your opinion that they are. (That is the only reason I included anything about my background. I have never, not once, on these boards mentioned anything about that in all my time here because I felt it was immaterial to the conversation.)

 

Your response to me was pretty defensive itself. I didn't ask for your entire CV, but thanks anyway.

 

Perhaps it is better that we not be table mates--I suspect that we would not get along any better in person than we do here. Hard to know though because, as you know, the written word and the spoken word are miles apart in interpretation.

 

To everyone else: I apologize if it seems like I hijacked this thread. That was not my intention. I absolutely agree that the best way to determine appropriate subjects to discuss with strangers is to listen to them speak with the people they already know. I also think it's best not to be offended if a table mate doesn't want to discuss a particular subject--it's probably not a personal insult to you. When someone doesn't want to talk about something (whether it's where they are from, what they do for a living, or what their relationship is), I respect that and move on to another topic.

 

beachchick

(who would prefer not to be told to "chill" or [get] "down")

[1corona4u]

DH & I are getting ready to go on our first cruise and have asked for a private table (not that I have any expectations of getting it...). He is active duty military (20+ years) and the LAST thing we want to talk about is the military and the war. :( Just because he is in the military does not mean we have a George Bush shrine in our living room! (it's actually in the den...JUST KIDDING!!!);)

 

LOl, just don't tell them.....say he's a vaccum cleaner salesman....or something. :D I don't think they will just know that if you don't tell them....unless it's obvious in some way?

 

I can relate though, when people find out what I do, they want to know all about it, and how I started it...I got burned out after the first 300 times or so, that people were asking...now I just say, I don't know, I just did, and leave it at that... LOL......

[madforcruising]

I can relate though, when people find out what I do, they want to know all about it, and how I started it...I got burned out after the first 300 times or so, that people were asking...now I just say, I don't know, I just did, and leave it at that... LOL......

 

Ok so what do you do? :D :eek: :p

[Nliedel]

In reference to the Dad who cannot remember his kids names. I often go through the list before I hit the one I want.. "hey you, JJ, no.. Herne, No wait Gene.. Ugh I mean Steven, what are you doing?" Maybe they had more kids at home??

 

Just listen for clues and you should be fine. I will ask some leading questions and see where it goes. I will not ask what their favorite wine is if they both order Coke for example.

[dc-snoopy]

In reference to the Dad who cannot remember his kids names. I often go through the list before I hit the one I want.. "hey you, JJ, no.. Herne, No wait Gene.. Ugh I mean Steven, what are you doing?" Maybe they had more kids at home??

 

Ha! That's my dad for you. He'll have to go through all three kids names before he gets the one he wants...even with two boys and one girl! Steve, no Joyce, no Ted!

 

We've been kidding him about this for at least 30 years!

[1corona4u]

Ok so what do you do? :D :eek: :p

 

LOl, let's just say that I have an internet business and leave it at that. Otherwise, people might think I am advertising.;)

[wherewillIgonext]

I truley can say, that out of the 10 cruises we've been on, only one time I had a problem at dinner every night. We were seated at a large table of 10, one man seated next to us would always be the 1st to grab the basket of buns and go on to finger or handel every one of them before making his decision of which to keep. At the time this annoyed me to no end. LOL

KIM

[ladybuginVA]

A group from work just cruised as a "layoff celebration" using our severance packages. Talk about akward looks when we responded to the question about where we worked! Of course we laughed and tried to put them at ease, but people normally cringed with embarrassment first. Like most cruisers, we wated to have fun, not discuss serious topics. We had one week to live a fantasy lifestyle and we wanted other people to have fun too so I finally learned to either lead conversation away from the subject or to gently explain up front when conversation stated moving towards the topic of "employment". I would then try to find something in common to discuss, sort of like playing a game. I found at least one thing in common with each person. :D Like my mother always said, or might have said if she'd thought of it, "to have a good tablemate, you must be one". :D

[madforcruising]

LOl, let's just say that I have an internet business and leave it at that. Otherwise, people might think I am advertising.;)

 

Of course you knew I was just kiding and I couldn´t resist to ask after reading your post. :D

[snwarf]

LOl, just don't tell them.....say he's a vaccum cleaner salesman....or something. :D I

 

 

TOO FUNNY!!! With our luck, Mr. Oreck himself would be at the table! :D!!

[dustythreads]

It was on our last cruise that one of my tablemates really caused me to do a double take. We were all enjoying our meal, when the lady in question and my cousin were discussing his new watch. He purchased this fine watch earlier in the day and I thought she was admirering it. All conversation ceased after everyone at the table heard her say "My, you have such expensive taste for just a telephone salesman."

The kicker is....she was in our party. She took the position of a last minute cancellation within our family and I do not believe she will be joining us on the next cruise. :o

[1corona4u]

TOO FUNNY!!! With our luck, Mr. Oreck himself would be at the table! :D!!

 

OMG, LOL,, would that be hilarious!! Too funny!!:D

[WeBeCruisin']

The "Dad" was forty tops - my son is older than his son. I think his problem was probably the bottled variety.

 

We buried a dear family member within the last year that suffered with Alzheimer's. I'm not offended by your statement though.

 

I wasn't meaning to be offensive. My grandmother and my dad were both Alzheimer's victims, and I was suggesting that if the "Dad" in question were indeed suffering from that malady, that he deserved compassion rather than scorn.

 

Allen

[WeBeCruisin']

beachchick

(who would prefer not to be told to "chill" or [get] "down")

 

Beachchick, I graciously accept your apology. :)

 

Allen

[WeBeCruisin']

, but I still believe that your first post implied a superiority over other, less well-read, people. )

 

and you're still wrong. :cool: :D

[Polish Falcon]

We had a single woman @ our table who was Asian and spoke no english.

She came to dinner the first night WEARING her life vest. An Asian waiter explained to her that she did not have to wear it through out the whole cruise, but she carried it around with her the entire cruise!

 

She would also pick up her plate and lick it!

 

She was not obnoxious in any way but she was Very Strange!

[vijoge]

I've been on the other side of that situation' date=' though, and it's not pleasant, either. There is somewhat of an age difference between me and my wife (in July we will have been married 19 years).

People also assume that she married me for my money.

Sigh.

 

Allen[/quote']

 

 

Alan,

 

You think you've got problems? :) My husband is 20 years younger than I am. He married me for my AARP card. LOL!

[nimbex1970]

Our first cruise we were seated with the overly tatoo'd biker bunch that had been wild and partying on deck all day... (we're in our 30's, like a few beers as well as having a good time, have had a few biker friends).. but this group had been over the top. I silently went ugh when we first sat down. Within 30 minutes we loved this quirky wild gang (cut off t-shirt sleves on formal night), I had a sequined gown... the whole bit of differences but they were a riot. We wouldn't have missed a dinner with them to stay in port longer, we had so much fun. last day at sea they invited us to be in their group picture of 40 plus bikers... just loved 'em.

 

 

last cruise, well dressed tablemates in their 40's.. plastered fake smiles on their faces...they looked well, constipated. They would answer a question in the briefest form and never asked us anything. Now I'm not saying I gave them the third degree, many long periods of silence... just trying to strike up conversation and continue it if there was a remote sense of common interest. Yet they kept eye contact with these weird smiles... stupid me just thought they were shy or quiet and I'd give it a try. It was painful. You would have thought I had announced that we were swingers and wanted to know their cabin ##;)

 

 

after dinner I elbowed my husband saying "thanks for the help in there (he hadn't said a WORD, nothing!). Husband replied... "one of us had to have the common sense to just shut up and leave those two to themselves... and it obviously wasn't going to be you" LOL!

 

They might be writing a response about some blonde who wouldn't just shut up and let them sit in utter quiet, she actually asked... gulp... their names :eek:

 

 

so I've learned the hard way, ya just never know

[Onessa]

In regard to the "dad who could not remember names" - based upon the behavior you describe, I would agree with Allen that whatever his condition he merits understanding rather than any scorn.

 

My father is in his 80's and suffers from moderate dementia brought on by an injury he suffered at work when he was in his 30's that has now been worstened by a serious of "mini strokes". While he appears very healthy and can carry on great short term conversations, he is completely clueless as to what happened 30 minutes ago. He is living with us and I often explain his condition in private to vistors since most assume that he is "ok" because they really don't know him. But he really can't be left alone, and needs a lot of help.

 

I know also know folks who suffer from mental illnesses or are undergoing other treatments. A lot of medications affect emotions and impact memory. Generally if drinking impacts memory and emotions, it is a sign that it is not a social drinking problem, but perhaps one rooted in a more insideous dependency that may also require treatment.

 

To those of you with family members suffering from dementia from any cause, my heart goes out to you - but let it serve as a reminder to live each day fully and appreciate everything we have while we still can appreciate and understand.

[Nliedel]

To the person who had the "bun Handler"... Gross.. I am pretty obnoxious and would probably say something.. then again less carbs.... hmmm. ;)

[Billmont]

We have been fortunate to never have obnoxious table mates. Some have been a bit boring, but tolerable.

 

The most obnoxious person for us was a guy at the next table, complaining about the children in the dining room. He was louder than any of the kids and we kept wishing his wife would take him out of the dining room for a little walk until he calmed down.

 

We are going to be cruising with our 3 year old daughter on the Vision in May, and am now wondering how she will be welcomed in the Dining Room by other passengers?

 

She is typically well behaved, but known to have the occassional meltdown. So we are prepared to vacate the Dining Room if her behaviour is unacceptable. We didn't indicate a preference as to what size of table, I hope our future table mates are as open minded as some of the posters on this thread.

[Travelgrrl]

They will probably seat you with other folks with small children, that's been my experience anyway.

[WeirdEyes]

We had a single woman @ our table who was Asian and spoke no english.

She came to dinner the first night WEARING her life vest. An Asian waiter explained to her that she did not have to wear it through out the whole cruise, but she carried it around with her the entire cruise!

 

She would also pick up her plate and lick it!

 

She was not obnoxious in any way but she was Very Strange!

OMG! :eek: That's the saddest and funniest thing I've read all day. Poor dear!

[dc-snoopy]

We are going to be cruising with our 3 year old daughter on the Vision in May, and am now wondering how she will be welcomed in the Dining Room by other passengers?

 

She is typically well behaved, but known to have the occassional meltdown. So we are prepared to vacate the Dining Room if her behaviour is unacceptable. We didn't indicate a preference as to what size of table, I hope our future table mates are as open minded as some of the posters on this thread.

 

My experience is that provided you exercise good manners in parenting, then you and she will be received well. Everyone understands that kids have meltdowns. The parents and children that are not tolerated are the parents who do not do anything about the problem. Ignoring the child, catering to the child's spoiled nature by giving them things that may inpinge on other guests needs or refusing to stop the tantrum will not be received well by other pax. However, you sound like you have the right attitude. You bring her and as long as she plays well with the other children from 1-92 YO at the table, then everything is fine. If she has a meltdown, you either stop her or take her away from the DR and you will be admired for handling the situation better than many parents. I remember as a child, my mother had a threat that if we didn't behave she'd take us to the ladies room which is where she would punish us. None of us children ever wanted to be "taken" to the ladies room by Mom!

 

One of the worst cases of this I saw was when desserts were ordered and one mother deaing with a child's temper tantrum took the next persons ordered dessert and gave it to her child to quiet the child down. As she took it she said "you don't mind?" as if it mattered...he did order another dessert, but the fact that she would have the gall to actually take it before asking "took the cake" (sorry for that... couldn't resist).