Parents, Please control your kids!!!!!

[jckvpa0]

Well, Pat I appreciate your concern for my well being after being traumatized by being on the receiving end of a well deserved slap and all. Thirty years later I feel so traumatized, lost and violated. ( just kidding ) I guess if you lead by example your daughter will grow up to be just as intolerant as you. Just curious how you handle your child when they sass you. You use the reward method when she does good but how do you handle when she tells you to ge to hell or kicks you in the shin or screams at you when you give an order and she tells you what an idiot she thinks you are and that she hates you. maybe you have an angel. Who knows, who cares. Your plan sounds great and all but I'm curious as hell to know how it really works on a real child who's not necessarily in tune with your agenda. Personally I don't care how you discipline your children. They are YOUR responsibility. I did my time as a parent and mine turn out okay considering I'm no child phychologist or activist child advocate. They weren't traumatized or emotionally scarred as you would like to think. Your aversion to spanking makes me think you must have been beaten or molested as a child. You really should try to be more tolerant of people with opinions not the same as yours.

 

Wow if your child is telling you to go to hell or kicks you there has been something wrong going on for a long time!! I do not need to hit my child to make them stand up & take notice, usually one look will do it. Don't get me wrong, my kids hate me & think I'm "queer" because I have to talk to parents when their going over their friends houses, but you know what, they'll get over it. I was never beaten or molested as a child, I just knew when my parents set rules that was that, & if I broke them I was grounded, ( & boy did I spend some time grounded! ) If you do some research I think you will discover that it has long been known that spanking is not good for any child!

[halos]

No matter how young our children are, we have to always keep in mind that we are raising future adults. The most important lesson a child learns is that there are consequences to every action...good consequences for good actions and bad consequences for bad actions....I've tried to instill in mine the old, "what goes around comes around" because I believe whole heartedly in it. All I did was ask them to observe this...to take notice of how what they do will come back to them. They open their eyes a little and saw it themselves. Now when good things happen to them, I look at them and say, "You deserve it!" and they know I mean that literally.

Parents do their children no favors by treating bad behavior as if it's nothing, because it doesn't matter if the parents don't respond to the bad actions, everything their child does wrong that they didn't correct will catch up with those kids and their parents in the long run. Everyone suffers in the end.

[GoinCruisin]

Jck, actually, there are just as many reports out there that say just the opposite... depends on who's report you are reading I guess... What is NOT good for children is a lack of consistency and discipline... and ANY kind of discipline (time out, grounding, spanking) done in anger without communication. There has to be a balance and there has to be communication, but it has to be consistent...

[Cruising89143]

Well if I ever told my mom or dad to go to hell or kicked them I would have been picking my butt up off the floor. People can say what they want but I grew up in the sixties and early seventies and back then parents did not use time out and the other fluff that some parents use today. Also schools were allowed to paddle or at least the ones that I attended.

 

When out in public I am amazed at what kids get away with today. I say that parents who let their kids run their lives deserve what they get in the end. I don't blame kids when I see them behaving badly. You have to blame the no good parents who are just too lazy to do their job. One of our former first ladies made the comment that you need a village to raise a child. Not true. You just need for parents to be parents and not throw them off on others to raise them.

[jckvpa0]

Jck, actually, there are just as many reports out there that say just the opposite... depends on who's report you are reading I guess... What is NOT good for children is a lack of consistency and discipline... and ANY kind of discipline (time out, grounding, spanking) done in anger without communication. There has to be a balance and there has to be communication, but it has to be consistent...

 

Have to say your so right, consistency is the key! I will say out of reaction if my young child were to run out into the street,( & thinking back I think I did this once) out of fear I would probably give them a swat on the bottom. I know I had a bar of soap in my mouth once when I was young, with my kids I threatend pepper, they still joke about it now, quess I wasn't consistent ;) !!!

[kellyccz]

DisneyCruiser- Well, you and i are in the same club - I received the "Quit" message today too - for a different thread - it was for the Destiny Cruisers thread - and the kicker is - all my post said was Thank you toHost Randy for getting rid of a particularly troublesome poster - he made a play on words joking around about it - and I posted only the words "Thank You" to him. Sure enough - I got the exact message you got. That is NOT a post notification message from a subscription. I am subscribed to that thread, and those are not what the notification emails look like. I am a little bothered that the host can make ajoke but I am told to quit for saying Thank You. Just doesn't make much sense.

[GoinCruisin]

LOL, ouch on the soap!!! My mother threatened me with it, and I remember going into the bathroom one night and tasting the soap just to see if it was a "bad thing", needless to say, I didn't push it!! I will say that 2 of my 3 spankings came when I was young (between 5-7), and I deserved them, 100%... I remember my dad had tears in his eyes when my mom spanked me... and it really wasn't a big whoopin, but it didn't take that... but prior to my spanking they sat down with me for what seemed like forever, and explained "you are going to get a spanking... and this is why, yadda yadda", that made it worse! LOL! I just wanted to get it over with!!!! The third time, I was 14!!!! And I was a hellion on wheels... I was in that stage of complete and total rebellion, hanging around with the wrong people, and being a complete waste of space in the world... after mouthing off pretty badly to my mom, I said "I'm not a kid, it's not like you can spank me", she jerked me up and put me on the bed and tanned my hide!!! I guess she told me!! Well, after she finished, we both just looked at each other and laughed!!! Then we both started crying, and talked until 3 in the morning... since that day, she and I have been the best of friends... we were both at our wits end and my adolescent spanking helped, LOL!!!! My parents did the best they could... by the time they were 19, they had two children under 2 and were trying to make a life for us... they will be the first to tell you that they really don't like spanking, it broke their hearts, but they only did it as a last resort... and I don't think any less of them. Spanking your children is not going to turn them into horrible people. People should not judge how others discipline their children, as long as they are doing SOMETHING...

[k9hndler]

Sorry I didn't post reply sooner but I don't have the time post 30 messages a day like Goin'Cruisin or LivtoJump.

I choose to lead by example.

Pat

Running Dad

 

p.s. I couldn't care less how many people don't agree with me. I stand on my principles.

 

The only "Abuse" going on here is having to read your self righteous posts. Are you really BELIEVING all that Nanny 911 gibberish you espouse, or are you that Super Nanny lady masquerading on this board?

 

Your posts are so condescending they can’t hardly conceal a hostility that’s hard to fathom, an is evidenced clearly by your blatant attack on Liv and GC. Of course you denied doing that, which also impugns your integrety as well.

 

Standing on Principle or riding a high horse Pat? My angle is a bit different from yours.

[Cruising89143]

The only "Abuse" going on here is having to read your self righteous posts. Are you really BELIEVING all that Nanny 911 gibberish you espouse, or are you that Super Nanny lady masquerading on this board?

 

Your posts are so condescending they can’t hardly conceal a hostility that’s hard to fathom, an is evidenced clearly by your blatant attack on Liv and GC. Of course you denied doing that, which also impugns your integrety as well.

 

Standing on Principle or riding a high horse Pat? My angle is a bit different from yours.

 

Oh no not the super nanny!!!!!!!!!:eek: I tried watching that show one night. Could not make it more than fifteen minutes.

[futaba951]

The only "Abuse" going on here is having to read your self righteous posts. Are you really BELIEVING all that Nanny 911 gibberish you espouse, or are you that Super Nanny lady masquerading on this board?

 

Your posts are so condescending they can’t hardly conceal a hostility that’s hard to fathom, an is evidenced clearly by your blatant attack on Liv and GC. Of course you denied doing that, which also impugns your integrety as well.

 

Standing on Principle or riding a high horse Pat? My angle is a bit different from yours.

 

I was going to make a comment about tolerance, but like I said in an earlier post this subject will never be resolved on this post so I will refrain from adding to the controversy. Good luck to all you parents however you choose to discipline and hope all your kids grow up to be really great people just like you would hope for them.

[LadySpoilt]

I was going to make a comment about tolerance, but like I said in an earlier post this subject will never be resolved on this post so I will refrain from adding to the controversy. Good luck to all you parents however you choose to discipline and hope all your kids grow up to be really great people just like you would hope for them.

 

I agree with futaba. Its NOT going to be resolved on this board, so why clutter up the board with it. This is no longer about cruising. To borrow a "suggestion" from another post.... take it off the board to email or whatever.

Sandra

[L2J]

Geez....I thought this was a message board where people were free to express their own opinions and ideas?

 

GC - CONGRATS DOLL!! We've graduated from the 15 Post Per Day Club to the 30 Post Post Per Day Club....WOOHOO!! I wonder what kind of goodies we're gonna get from "Mommy"?

 

Anyone else feel like they need a cruise?

[halos]

Anyone else feel like they need a cruise?

 

I certainly do....and I won't be getting one any time soon :mad: , so someone hand me some whipped cream and chocolate syrup!. :p

[L2J]

I certainly do....and I won't be getting one any time soon :mad: , so someone hand me some whipped cream and chocolate syrup!. :p

 

Gonna make that PP (Peppermint Patty) drink? ;)

 

October just seems to far away :(

[halos]

Gonna make that PP (Peppermint Patty) drink? ;)

 

October just seems to far away :(

 

Please...you know how long I'm waiting. October seems like tomorrow to me. :p

[Randy & Carmen]

I've been meaning to get over here and read some of this.....This thread may have slipped off the main subject but I can see why....The way you discipline your kids at home reflects on a cruise with some of us that can't stand out of control hellions running loose on a cruise ship.......I've see well behaved but more bad ones on a ship than anything but I'd prefer to sail with an adults only if given a chance.....Oh?:confused: ......looky there I'm doing an adults only cruise!;) (what a cheap form of advertising):p ......Ok....seriously, you adult chillin play nice on here and keep it geared toward original topic or we'll have to remove this thread.

[halos]

......Ok....seriously, you adult chillin play nice on here and keep it geared toward original topic or we'll have to remove this thread.

 

Sure thing Randy...let me just go back and see what the original topic was...... :confused:

 

OK.....

PARENTS: If your kids are rug rats then keep them underfoot...YOUR feet!! ;)

[L2J]

Sure thing Randy...let me just go back and see what the original topic was...... :confused:

 

OK.....

PARENTS: If your kids are rug rats then keep them underfoot...YOUR feet!! ;)

 

I think the OP was making a comment about a toddler during the show?

[GoinCruisin]

I'd prefer to sail with an adults only if given a chance.....Oh?:confused: ......looky there I'm doing an adults only cruise! (what a cheap form of advertising):p ......

 

Nice way to slip that one in ;)

 

Liv, I was thinking it was more like 60... we must be slipping ...

 

And to the OP (back on OT), I agree... parents should control their children :D

[TPFilm]

Yes I am resurrecting this post. Sorry.

 

As a proud first time father of an adorable (other people's opinions... I might be a bit partial! :) ) 14 month old I have to say this about a child's behavior in public: it is the parent's responsibility to educate their child in the ways of polite and modern society - relative to their country's accepted standards. Other countries and cultures have different standards. We, as Americans, can not and should not impose our standards on a day to day basis of other nationalities and cultures.

 

That being said, we as Americans are encouraged to respect and honor the ways of others when visiting their homelands. We as Americans expect the same respect and courtesy when you visit our country, our home.

 

Back to my daughter. We do not take her to places that you would not expect to encounter other children. We would never take her to a fancy, suit and tie type restaraunt. That is not the place for a 13 month old, or, in my opinion, any child under seven years old. We take our daughter to Applebees, Chilis, etc because those are family places. While waiting for our table at these places we will wait outside if the weather is good. We will allow her walk around and usually entertains the other people outside waiting, too. However, she is not allowed to roam freely. I am always right there with her, ready to stop her if she ventures too close to parked cars etc (around here in Wilmington most of these places have a front 'yard' of sorts with grassy areas between the front doors and the parking lots) Once inside she is placed in a high chair and we entertain her. We offer pieces of vegetables. We give her toys to play with. If she starts to make a fuss we tend to her. We try to respect everyone around us and try not to allow our daughter to ruin their dinner. At the same time we arre amazed at our daughter and allow her a little freedom to be 14 months old.

 

We always clean-up under her high chair and attempt to wipe off the tabe area where her chair was. I was a waiter back in college and that is one of my pet peeves!

 

We have taken her to the symphony. It was a symphony concert aimed at kids. She even 'performed' with a soloist. The event was packed with children from a few months of age up to teens. The MC even thanked my daughter for her participation: "That was so-and-so on the cello with baby accompaniment in the key of ga-ga!" It got a great laugh from everyone. We would never take her to the regular symphony (besides the fact that they usually start around 8P - her bedtime!) out of respect for the artists on stage. Along those same lines, we do not take her to the movies either. It would be a safe bet that she would sleep through it if we went to a 9PM show, but I don't want to be those parents.

 

My daughter will be taught manners and respect. She will know right from wrong (I hope!) She will be a good child citizen who will grow into a good adult citizen.

 

You want to know why she will become those things? Good citizens? Because she has parents, family and adult family friends who care.

 

It takes a village to raise a child.

 

As far as other people's unruly children: my wife doesn't like me to say anything. However, if my daughter is causing a problem I would want people to tell me (just don't tell me how to raise her and we will be fine!) that my daughter is interrupting or ruining your experience at the (insert event here.) However, if we are at the beach, at the CHILDREN's museum or some other event child oriented event don't bother me unless my daughter did something aimed directly at you or your family.

 

That older woman in front of the parents should have turned around and said something. If people pretend other people's children don't bother them, the parents will stay in "isn't my child so cute mode" and the world will have another problem teenager!

 

Just my two cents as a fellow parent (who will not be taking my daughter on any cruises until she is at least 6 years old... that's what grandparents are for - especially when all the grandparents live two states away... unfiltered access to their granddaughter for a week... My mother is still giddy and the cruise is not until September :) )