teen's curfew

[Crusin6]

Depends on whether they are coming back to the cabin alone or being escorted. My 17 yr old DD has a 1:30 curfew But she must have one of the other kids she will meet escort her back to our room. I don't sleep well until I know she is back.

 

So who escorts that other kid back now that your kid has been brought to her cabin by her new found stranger..oh i mean friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

t

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

orted someone elses child so that

[Crusin6]

I guess, since I have a 4 year old, I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I hope that in ten years I can trust him to not be stupid, but my worries come from not being able to trust all the OTHER kids.

 

Dont worryso much about the other kids..worry about their parents who think it is ok to let a12 yo roam a city of 3000 strangers until 130 am.

[my3boysmom]

Great thread! We are taking two 12 year olds in two weeks. We have a late seating in the MDR and my thought at this time is that they can stay out IF they are in Circle C activities until they are over.

 

My question is: what else is there for them to do? I know they won't be interested in the shows.

[noleswin]

Kids like to walk around in groups from one end to the other and laugh at adults. Every once in a while they will stop and sit in the stairwells and wait on one or two to check in then they go get pizza or ice cream. Stop at each bar so the one kid with a soda card can get a drink for everyone. Then they repeat the above. At least this is what I have abserved and heard from my oldest son.

[Crusin6]

Kids like to walk around in groups from one end to the other and laugh at adults. Every once in a while they will stop and sit in the stairwells and wait on one or two to check in then they go get pizza or ice cream. Stop at each bar so the one kid with a soda card can get a drink for everyone. Then they repeat the above. At least this is what I have abserved and heard from my oldest son.

 

Dont they enjoy climbing up the funnel as well? I have seen pix posted here..looks like fun

[19snapshot]

I only know what my kids have done with the friends they made onboard. Most of the time they met up near the ice cream, and then would hang around talking and laughing. They played cards. They played games they got from the library or that one of them brought (LCR was popular).

 

When they were younger, they were either in a camp sponsored activity, with us, or in the cabin. That will be the case with our youngest who will be 12 on our upcoming cruise. Unless, of course, one of her older brothers lets her hang around with them.

 

My kids have never been bored on a cruise.

[bplazo]

So who escorts that other kid back now that your kid has been brought to her cabin by her new found stranger..oh i mean friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

t

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

orted someone elses child so that

 

I was thinking the same thing.

[mousey]

Our DS was 16 on our last cruise in Aug. and we also brought along his friend who was 17 at the time. We gave them a curfew 1a and they haggled with us for 1:30a. and we said okay. The second night they explained to us that after the teen club closes (at 1a.) a lot of the kids go to the pizza/deli area and hang out. They asked us if they could change the curfew to 2a and we agreed because spending an hour seemed reasonable to wait in line for pizza and sodas and eating and drinking. They had a ball! But being typical teenagers one night they came back at 2:20a. That led to a stern lecture (and having his car taken away for two days when we got back home) and promises that if they did it again the curfew would be way earlier. That did the trick and they were never late again. And truth be told, some nights they were in earlier because they knew they had to be up early the next morning for excursions in port. They were not allowed to be without one of us at all times while in port except in Key West, because we were able to stay in contact with them by cellphone we let them go off on their own for an hour to do some shopping.

 

To be honest, I don't know that I would let my girls stay out that late without either I or the DS meeting them at a place near the buffet and walking them back to the cabin, but I can't say for sure because we don't have girls. Also, this is not saying that girls are less trustworthy than boys just that their safety circumstances are just a little different than boys. I know 2a probably freaks out some parents, but things are different on a cruise than life at home. At home he would never, except for some very special occasion be allowed to come home at that hour. Thank goodness where we live there is a city curfew for teens of 11p for the first year that they drive. Next year we will probably renegotiate with him. So far, he's never broken curfew at home ever. And it is for that reason that we allow him a little more freedom on the cruise. Before he turned 16 his latest curfew was midnight. Between 9 and 12 his curfew was 11. Anytime there was some special circumstance where he wanted to stay out later we always listened to his reason for doing so and we would negotiate. We have a policy that no matter what the time...he is always able to call our cabin. Most of the time since we stay up late ourselves, we will bump into him and his new friends somewhere along the way, he always stops and introduces us to his new friends and then goes on his merry way.

 

One thing I would advise and this goes for boys or girls. Tell them never to go off and leave their drink and then come back to it. They should always get a new one. That is one of the new rules that came up on our last cruise for the boys that I had gotten off another post. It makes sense.

 

Only you know the level of your kid's trustworthiness. I don't care what other parent's say or do for the most part. I listen to others, but only I have the final say about how much freedom my kid can or cannot have or handle.

 

Most of the time the kids are hanging out by the pool, the Jacuzzi, the teen club, the Karaoke club, the dance club (when allowed as certain times are for adults only), etc., etc. Our boys knew that they were not allowed to go into other kid's cabins or have kids in ours without asking us first. There were plenty of times we could come back to our cabin and see kids waiting outside while the DS and his friend changed into their swim suits or out of them.

 

It was really cute when the DS and his friend got all dressed up one night and told us that they were going with some other kids to the Steakhouse. This was the only time I spied on the boys. We took a peek and saw them (about 8 of them) all dressed up and sitting like real adults at the dinner table. Wow, I choked up thinking how cute they all were just on the verge of becoming adults. I asked the DS afterwards how it went and he said it was okay, but when I saw them they were having a blast! Teens, go figure!:D The DH was choking up because he couldn't understand how these kids were in the Steakhouse and we were eating in the MDR!:D Ha! Ha! They paid for it with their own spending money!

[hikingchik]

mousey, i loved reading about the boys in the steakhouse.how soon they become adults,too soon.i miss mine.

[hannahsmomtoo]

I have a 13 year old daughter that will be with me for our cruise in September so this thread is very interesting to me. Hoping she actually WANTS to spend some time with me.. but also that she makes some new friends and presents me with the curfew question ! :)

[Andoria]

Dont worryso much about the other kids..worry about their parents who think it is ok to let a12 yo roam a city of 3000 strangers until 130 am.

 

 

So it's better to let your kids roam during the daylight hours? Do bad people only prowl for their victims at a certain time of day? In order for kids to become people smart, they need to have practice dealing with people. My son has a pretty good creepo meter and he listens to his instincts. Oh and he'll be a 2nd degree black belt in less than two months.

 

Are these measures full proof? Of course not but my son would not make an easy victim. Statistically speaking, we have a better chance of my brother throwing my son overboard than we do of a stranger trying to harm him.

 

A very helpful book is "Protecting the Gift." http://www.amazon.com/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009

[lablover61]

Last year with my DD (13 years old ) we did a midnight curfew unless specifically approved my either my wife or I to be later. My son started at 1AM but because he was 16 and in o2 , we extended it to 2 AM because that club closes at 1 AM and the kids often get something to eat after. The last night he asked to able to stay out all night. He ended up coming in around 3:30 AM. He was real tired on the plane ride the next day !

 

On our April cruise this year, our DD will be 14 ( almost 15 ) and we plan to have her at a 1 AM curfew ( later with permission ) and DS a minimum 2 AM , also later with permission. He is a senior ( this cruise is a graduation present ) and he will be going to college this Fall out of state, so this will be a good test for him.

 

As others have said it depends on your kid (s). How responsible they are, night-owls, etc. I have been blessed with great , trust-worthy kids. Still I monitor the both of them as much as possible to see what kind of kids they are hanging out with. They tend to associate with other " goody - too shoes " kids like themselves , so normally this works out .

[lablover61]

So it's better to let your kids roam during the daylight hours? Do bad people only prowl for their victims at a certain time of day? In order for kids to become people smart, they need to have practice dealing with people. My son has a pretty good creepo meter and he listens to his instincts. Oh and he'll be a 2nd degree black belt in less than two months.

 

Are these measures full proof? Of course not but my son would not make an easy victim. Statistically speaking, we have a better chance of my brother throwing my son overboard than we do of a stranger trying to harm him.

 

 

 

AMEN ! Couldn't agree with you more .

[arpie05]

My rule for my son (15 last cruise - 16 next cruise) is that if he's at an O2 activity then he needs to be in the room within 5-10 minutes of it ending. I have the activity schedule and several nights on our last trip I would - between 10 pm and midnight (before I went to bed) - I would check the O2 group and make sure he was there. One night they were off doing something so I sat one deck up with a great view of the room and watched them return. he never knew I checked in. I actually check in on him periodically all day (sea days) because he may sleep in until 11 am and go straight there and I haven't seen him since I left the cabin at 8 am for breakfast.

 

We always go through the FunTimes so he knows where to find me OR if he's going to not be in O2, he can go by the room and leave a note. That way, If I go by 02 and he's not there, I can go to the room and determine where he is and not hunt all over the ship.

 

He knows that if I catch him wandering around, he can sit on the edge of his bed until we get home and it's our last cruise.:rolleyes:

[ninneman]

i guess i must be overprotective, but my daughter is 16 and i have twin boys that are 13 and i don't think i would let them be out til midnight without me, especially on a ship, where there are a lot of strangers and many open decks. If they were at the camp, then that is one thing, but out roaming the ship with other kids til midnight? I don't think i could possibly do that...would make me way too nervous!

 

like!

[teddybarehead]

Our DS was 16 on our last cruise in Aug. and we also brought along his friend who was 17 at the time. We gave them a curfew 1a and they haggled with us for 1:30a. and we said okay. The second night they explained to us that after the teen club closes (at 1a.) a lot of the kids go to the pizza/deli area and hang out. They asked us if they could change the curfew to 2a and we agreed because spending an hour seemed reasonable to wait in line for pizza and sodas and eating and drinking. They had a ball! But being typical teenagers one night they came back at 2:20a. That led to a stern lecture (and having his car taken away for two days when we got back home) and promises that if they did it again the curfew would be way earlier. That did the trick and they were never late again.

 

Mousey, this is ridiculous. How hard is it to cut the apron strings and let your kids sit around and eat pizza? If they aren't running around, acting like idiots what is the problem? I'm sorry but i'm not going to let this become some parents circle where you sit around comparing and congratulating each other on how annoying you can be to your kids on vacation.

 

Kids that are below 15, sure keep them in the circle c or wherever they go. Know where they are at all times. 16+ and it gets silly. If you have taught them right they aren't going to stay out till 4 am. They're going to come in to bed on their own. If you've done your job they aren't going to be running down the hallways knocking on doors. They won't be up destroying property... etc.

 

It can be really difficult to establish real friendships with parents interfering on a cruise ship. My first cruise i was 20 and my bro was 17. We were in this intermediate age where we couldn't do much in terms of being an adult on the ship, but we had fun exploring it and meeting people. We weren't restricted by any rules besides the idea of common courtesy. I don't have children, but i still remember what it's like to be one, and maybe you should think about how tightly you hold your "kids" to your side. It would suck if you only ended up alienating them away from you.

 

I do agree with keeping your kids with you on excursions... but not for the reason you stated. During port days it's fun to do things with the family. On the cruise ship we usually tend to do our own thing, if we were at the same activity we would do it together but that wasn't always the case. However off the ship it went back to family time, and going places together because we wanted to be with them. You can disregard what I've said, get upset, gang up on me.. whatever. This is what i thought of when reading your theory on curfews. The bottom line is instead of teaching responsibility and independence you're doing the exact opposite.

[G&TQ]

like!

 

Ditto the like!

[MrsZee]

Mousey, this is ridiculous. How hard is it to cut the apron strings and let your kids sit around and eat pizza? If they aren't running around, acting like idiots what is the problem? I'm sorry but i'm not going to let this become some parents circle where you sit around comparing and congratulating each other on how annoying you can be to your kids on vacation.

 

Kids that are below 15, sure keep them in the circle c or wherever they go. Know where they are at all times. 16+ and it gets silly. If you have taught them right they aren't going to stay out till 4 am. They're going to come in to bed on their own. If you've done your job they aren't going to be running down the hallways knocking on doors. They won't be up destroying property... etc.

 

It can be really difficult to establish real friendships with parents interfering on a cruise ship. My first cruise i was 20 and my bro was 17. We were in this intermediate age where we couldn't do much in terms of being an adult on the ship, but we had fun exploring it and meeting people. We weren't restricted by any rules besides the idea of common courtesy. I don't have children, but i still remember what it's like to be one, and maybe you should think about how tightly you hold your "kids" to your side. It would suck if you only ended up alienating them away from you.

 

I do agree with keeping your kids with you on excursions... but not for the reason you stated. During port days it's fun to do things with the family. On the cruise ship we usually tend to do our own thing, if we were at the same activity we would do it together but that wasn't always the case. However off the ship it went back to family time, and going places together because we wanted to be with them. You can disregard what I've said, get upset, gang up on me.. whatever. This is what i thought of when reading your theory on curfews. The bottom line is instead of teaching responsibility and independence you're doing the exact opposite.

 

I don't think that is ridiculous at all. Are you actually a parent?

 

Edited to add: My point is, you set boundaries for your kids. If your boundary is 2am (which HELLO! That is a fine curfew and rather lenient if you ask me) and they come back at 2:20, you have every right to discipline them. Rules are set on purpose to TEACH them responsibility and independence instead of teaching them to be a juvenile delinquent.

[misstopgun]

I know I may get a bit of heat from some of you but let me start by saying I really do like children!

 

I have read the whole thread and I am so amazed at so many that feel their children are so responsible and can do no wrong and it is okay to allow your tweens and young teens run around without supervision.

 

Are they really at 02? Do you know that for sure? At that age they are allowed to check themselves out right?

 

Are they sitting on the stairwells waiting for someone to check in, or are they deliberatly blocking them creating a hazard? The comment "making fun of adults" should have been a clue. They use it lightly but "making Fun" includes trying to trip them on stairwells and jumping in elvators and passing gas and jumping out.

 

Some poeople just don't realize that a group acting like a pack can prove dangerous if not unpleasent for other passengers.

 

I won't let it ruin a cruise but I have scared a few simply by saying "I know your parents." Most of them belive me.

 

Seriously though folks. I know you want to think your children are above all that, but just like many immature adults you see cruising, Cruising tends to make some of the young ones forget their inhabitions. They don't behave as they would in your home town.

 

My best advice to all parents; "Trust, but verify"

[teddybarehead]

I said i wasn't a parent in my post. I'm not contesting the rights of parents to set rules. Some rules are meant, not to teach kids anything, but to protect them from themselves and others. When does a kid become a young adult. When do the rules that are meant to deter them from harm become useless? If they can't decide things for themselves then their free will has been stripped from them. I just look at the choice they made, they want to stay out and chill at the pizzeria. They aren't talking about finding someone with alcohol in their stateroom. They aren't asking if they can stay out and throw pool chairs over the side of the ship.

 

MrsZee do you know the difference between walking a person across a street, and teaching them to look both ways before crossing by themselves?

[teddybarehead]

I know I may get a bit of heat from some of you but let me start by saying I really do like children!

 

I have read the whole thread and I am so amazed at so many that feel their children are so responsible and can do no wrong and it is okay to allow your tweens and young teens run around without supervision.

 

Are they really at 02? Do you know that for sure? At that age they are allowed to check themselves out right?

 

Are they sitting on the stairwells waiting for someone to check in, or are they deliberatly blocking them creating a hazard? The comment "making fun of adults" should have been a clue. They use it lightly but "making Fun" includes trying to trip them on stairwells and jumping in elvators and passing gas and jumping out.

 

Some poeople just don't realize that a group acting like a pack can prove dangerous if not unpleasent for other passengers.

 

I won't let it ruin a cruise but I have scared a few simply by saying "I know your parents." Most of them belive me.

 

Seriously though folks. I know you want to think your children are above all that, but just like many immature adults you see cruising, Cruising tends to make some of the young ones forget their inhabitions. They don't behave as they would in your home town.

 

My best advice to all parents; "Trust, but verify"

 

I've actually never seen any of this happen. Maybe once i went into an elevator and had all the buttons pressed... Dumb luck or just on the right ship i guess. If someone's kids are acting this way, then sure it's obvious they need a more structured vacation.

[luvtheships]

Kids like to walk around in groups from one end to the other and laugh at adults. Every once in a while they will stop and sit in the stairwells and wait on one or two to check in then they go get pizza or ice cream. Stop at each bar so the one kid with a soda card can get a drink for everyone. Then they repeat the above. At least this is what I have abserved and heard from my oldest son.

LOL...I know you are being tongue and cheek here.....I am sure others think you are being serious!!!!:D

[mlrandpkm]

Very interesting answers. I'm really 'stuck' for this cruise! Our last cruise, DD was 14 and DS was 17. DD, while being a very good kid, is a little less responsible than her older brother. DS is extremely mature and responsible for his age and always has been. We had no concerns about them being out and about, as they were always together--luckily, we were able to get her into the same club as him. They didn't have a 'set time' per se, it was depending upon what events were taking place. But it was always an unspoken rule that it would be a good idea if they were back in their cabin before midnight and would call us to check in (they were directly across the hall from us). Again, I have to reiterate, they are very good, trustworthy kids. This cruise, DS is unable to come with us and DD (now 16) is bringing a friend (17) along. Her friend is also a very good young lady and well behaved also. However, not having a male as part of their duo, I'm a little more apprehensive about having them out. DD has a midnight curfew at home, I don't personally think she really needs to have much later on the ship. However, as I'm reading some of your posts, it's making me think that if the events are ongoing until 1am, that perhaps we are being a little strict in not lettering her partake, considering she is one month away from turning 17. Decisions, decisions...

[MrsZee]

MrsZee do you know the difference between walking a person across a street, and teaching them to look both ways before crossing by themselves?

 

Yes, and I do not think that is applicable in this situation.

 

So... you aren't a parent. Are you the boss of anyone at work? If they are supposed to be at work at 8 but they show up at 8:20, do you say "employees will be employees, I am just teaching them to be responsible". In fact, you are teaching them quite the opposite. If you set a boundary and then let them cross it repeatedly, you are only teaching them that you are a pushover and they don't have to listen to you.

[Kryssa]

As a teen, my curfew was 30 minutes after the last teen events were over for the night. That gave me enough time to say goodbye, make plans for the next day, and head to my cabin.

 

You will not be the only parent to set rules, and the kids always respected eachother when someone said they had to head back to their cabin when I was a teen.

 

However, I think it is unreasonable to set a curfew earlier than the teen events end. That will just get your kid feeling left out. It's their vacation and as long as they make responsible choices, they should be allowed to experience the full range of what Carnival (or any cruise line) has to offer to them.