For those w/ Kids - Would YOU feel guilty?

[halos]

BND

. I know they love us but never gave a second thought about leaving. That's the way it should be.

 

What a very true statement!!!!

[waterbound]

Nope... no feeling guilty here!! We cruise with the kids and we cruise without them.. When we go by ourselves we have a nice time by ourselves.. when we cruise with the kids we have fun with them.. but I feel like we work hard for that money and we deserve to spend it how we see fit...

[Quincella]

My kids (2 and 8) went on the last cruise with us, but won't be going on our Hawaiian in October (my parents will be staying with them). Nor will even my husband be going with me on my cruise next February, because it's a "girl trip".

 

I love spending time with my kids, but I also love being away from them on occasion. I think it makes all of us appreciate each other that much more.

 

Have a fantastic time!

[willowcreek1955]

We will be on the Miracle on 6/19. It will be the first time we will be away from our kids ever! Our oldest is 19. We will be leaving the oldest in charge, and the other two are 15 & 17. All three are boys, I am not feeling guilty, just a bit worried. Boys are great kids, but just not used to taking care of themselves. I hope I still have a house when I get back. :)

[Ima_HockeyMom]

My kids are 9 & 7. When they were 7 & 5, we took them on their first cruise. It was a family of 13...7 kids and 6 adults. They had a BLAST. We had a BLAST.

 

Well, this October they will be visiting their Dad for 2 weeks in October. Their Dad is getting remarried (thank goodness). :D My fiancee and I have booked a 7 day to Western Caribbean during that time.

 

I am SOOOOOO not feeling guilty this time. As a very involved parent of two kids that do a LOT of extra curricular activities...I spend about 10k a year on the two of them. We spend a LOT of time together as a family. This will be the first time in a VERY long time that I spend $$$ on something JUST for us.

 

I don't feel guilty at all. :)

[Effie]

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Thanks for all the positive responses.

 

I guess my problem is more of a personal one. My mom wasn't around when I was a kid so in some way I try to make up for that by smothering my own kids. Time with just my husband will be a good thing. All of you who are more seasoned parents with children who are grown have really touched my heart with your responses (especially Cotton). I can learn from your experiences. It didn't hurt you to take all your vacaions with the kids but those of you who did that look back now and think of how you should have taken more "alone/couple" time.

 

Thanks for clearing my view! I'll do everything I can to make this cruise happen now and the kids will be better for it I'm sure.

[cruizinrican]

The kids love to cruise (we have 3 kids 17, 12 and 8) so we bring them once a year for a 7 night cruise. Any other time we feel like the price is right , we book it and Abuelita comes to stay while we play. I like to use this time alone to

re-connect with each other without 50 interuptions. Mommy and Daddy time!;)

[QTgas]

My sisters and I had the best parties when our parents went on vacations!!! We still talk about those more than most family vacations and it's been 30 years.

[Effie]

I can only imagine what type of party two 13 year old girls, a 5 year old boy and an 80 year old great-aunt would have when we leave! LOL Anybody up for a good ole game of checkers??

[gregandamy]

We've taken both our sons (7 & 3) on cruises, the next one we're going alone. We're excited about the 4 days away and they're excited about Grandma taking care of them for a few days. This is the longest we've been away from them and we'll all be fine with the break. We see it as good time for us and good grandma time for them.

 

No guilt here.

[flygrass]

We bring our son on every other cruise, this past one was on the Glory and it was his turn to go with us. I must say, he is loving cruisin more and more. May be harder to skip his round next time.

[mavrik582]

I just wanted to say that I think you should definately go away and don't feel guilty. I'm a 23 year old and my brother is 26 now. My parents made it a point to take some time out for themselves every year while I was growing up. They were closer as a result, which is one of the most amazing gifts you can give your children. As me and my brother went off to college and beyond, my parents although sad to see us go, knew how to be a couple and were so happy. Children do eventually go off. And I can guarantee that your children won't feel left out or anything. Go and have fun!!! (especially since you have two 13 year old girls...they'll give you enough headaches in the future....i know I gave my poor mother a lot) O, and Happy Mother's Day!! :o) Lauren

[Effie]

LOL... thanks Lauren. I can see it from your point of view and it seems clear that we'll wish we'd taken this break later if we don't now! LOL

[HappyCampers3]

Guess I'm alone here, but what the heck...I'm not afraid to go against the grain :) We have taken our son with us almost every time we have ever traveled. We went away one weekend alone and it was dreadful...I missed him so much...all I wanted to do was go home. We love being a family and really don't feel like we NEED time alone. Our son has never been the kind of child that we had to constantly entertain...he's happy going off on his own to find his own fun. That then allows us plenty of time on our own. Time seems to fly by so quickly; in no time at all he'll be going off to college (and if all goes his way, he'll be going off to boarding school in one year). No doubt we'll miss him terribly when he's gone...so I cherrish every minute I have with him now. I see families with more than one child and sometimes think...if I were them, I'd be begging for a break from that! LOL

[PlanningToCruise]

Other parents: do you ever take trips (cruises) without the kids or do you always take the kids with you or a combo of both types of vacations?

We're going on our first cruise in Oct. we are not taking our 6 yr old on this one. We take him on vacations/places ALL the time, AND dh and I take alot of "US ONLY" wkends, ( not vacations) I feel time alone between spouses is important. Plus of course we know we're leaving him in good hands, as he'll be taken care of by grandma and our oldest son (he's 25)

Speaking for us, we do sooo much for the kids,( I say kids but our older boys are 23 and 25, lol) that we deserve to get away by ourselves. I don't look at it likes it's a "vacation" we're just going on a cruise. Our VACATION is with him in July and again in August. I wouldn't feel guilty I say DO IT.

[Nliedel]

Sometimes I take the kids and sometimes I don't. I say leave them behind and have a good time. Honestly taking time for your marriage is one of the greatest things you can gift them with as parents. NOt to the point of neglect, obviously, but showing them that time is balanced and spending time as a couple makes you, stronger and more together and excellent parents. My husband and I have date night twice a month and it is sacred. A sick child will cancel it, but nothing else will. That time recharges us and refreshes us and is a very important part of being a family.

[happyme101]

We are going on the Conquest in July and my kids are Devastated and Im beginning to feel twinges of mommy guilt!:eek: Will this pass!:p

[GrannyJ]

Guilty? Of course, you'll feel guilty. You're parents...feeling guilty is your job. Making you feel guilty is the KIDS' job. Mine have sent me on so many guilt trips over the years that I have enough frequent flyer miles to go to the moon. After our honeymoon, we didn't have another child-free vacation until our 25th anniversary trip to Hawaii. I wandered around in a haze for the first couple of days panicking that I had left a kid somewhere. Nobody tugging on my arm, nobody needing an immediate trip to the bathroom, nobody whining for something...oh, wait, my husband was, but I'm used to ignoring him. Now 10 years later, we're starting over again traveling with the grandkids but those 10 years were really fun while they lasted. Go for the gusto, I say!

[seashell36]

DH & I have booked our first cruise for 10-10 and I am feeling the same about leaving our kids (3 & 8) with grandma. I know they will have a blast. DH & I take a weekend away alone 1-2x a year and we have a date night when we can. But, 6 days seems like a really long time! I know the guilt gifts will make up for it all, but still....;)

[CTMak]

Leave the kids.

 

CTMak

[GoinCruisin]

Effie, I was talking to my parents about this last night... just to gauge their amount of guilt in the past. My parents were married right out of high school and by the age of 19, had 2 small children... financially, they could not have imagined traveling without us when we were young... we always did things as a family... they did not vacation without us until we were nearly teens, and I vividly remember them coming home and realizing how very much in love they seemed to be... I had always viewed them as just my parents, and never really thought of them as a couple... weird, I know. My mother said that of course they had guilt, but in order for them to be the best they felt they could be, they also cherished the time they had to just be husband and wife. Since then, they have traveled many times without us, and my sister and I have always encouraged it. To be married at 17 and have made it 35 years, they are doing something right, LOL. We never felt neglected when they went away, and we were able to get a break away from our parents (yes, kids need a break too!!!!!) It made us appreciate them more, as we did miss them, as they missed us. We always had more family vacations than they had "adult" vacations. They went on their first cruise for their 25th Anniversary... As long as I live, I will never forget the looks on their faces when we picked them up from the airport... it was a look of sheer joy and peace. Don't feel guilty, sure, you will feel anxiety and you will no doubt miss them, but they need to learn to be without you sometimes, just as you need to be without them every so often... I personally think it will be a good experience for all of you. Have a wonderful cruise!!!!

[jckvpa0]

We will be on the Miracle on 6/19. It will be the first time we will be away from our kids ever! Our oldest is 19. We will be leaving the oldest in charge, and the other two are 15 & 17. All three are boys, I am not feeling guilty, just a bit worried. Boys are great kids, but just not used to taking care of themselves. I hope I still have a house when I get back. :)

 

JMHO, that's alot or responsibility for a 19yro. I have two boys, pretty good kids but at that age I would still have someone over see things. The 15 & 17 yro could really give your older son a run for his money. And no don't expect to have a house when you get back, lol!

[PINEVIEW01]

:eek: , I think your making a big mistake!!! Three days what are you thinking? You need at least seven :D !!! Really the best thing you can do for your kids is have a happy & healthy relationship with your spouse. Just about every year we go away by ourselves. Besides the vacations & maybe more importantly, you have to take the time for yourselves all year long. Once a week or so you need to do something special just for the two of you.

So please try to change that three day into something longer, It can only be a win win situation all around!!! ;)

I agree, big misake! You need AT LEAST seven day for grown up bonding. I've done both. My DH and I go off together, land and sea. We also have taken the children. No quilt either way.

 

Go have a great grown up time:)

[halos]

We are going on the Conquest in July and my kids are Devastated and Im beginning to feel twinges of mommy guilt!:eek: Will this pass!:p

 

 

Yes.

From my experience it will pass the minute you actually get in the car to leave....but the guilt and worry hangs on until that minute.

 

One thing that no one has touched on is how GOOD this is not just for you as a couple but for your kids as well. The whole purpose of having kids is to raise them to leave you. This is best if you break them in to being without you in little bits. It starts when they are newborn and you play peek-a-boo....they see you one minute, then you disappear, then you come back! They see that just because you are out of their sight for one minute, it doesn't mean you are gone forever. This is what starts the separation, learning process.....then you have a date and get a babysitter...they you go away fro one night, then a weekend....then a week. This is a lesson you are teaching you kids so there is no reason to feel guilty enough not to do it. If you look at it from this angle it will lessen that guilt quite a bit....and like many have mentioned above, the best thing you could ever do for your kids is work at your marraige and keep in in tact and healthy. Nothing on this earth can come close to that in keeping your children mentally and emotionally secure.

[Janene1]

Go!GO!GO! Hubby and I just got back yesterday from a 7 night cruise on conquest, it was sooo great to be alone. I homeschool my kids so I am with them 24/7 and it was time for us to have a reconnect. We also always do family vacations but this one was so different and so refreshing being alone. :D You are only going to make your marriage stronger and come back and better mom and dad, refreshed and appreicating the little things your kids do. I think it's healthy to take time for the two of you and as long as your kids are somewhere good they will enjoy the time away too belive it or not. I'm going to pick up my kids from my mom and sister's today and they are already talking about doing this again. They are 8 and 10 and we have been prepping them for this get away for a long time.

Here's a GREAT idea that helps the kids while you are away look forward to the next day. Buy a gift for them to open everday while you are gone, I mean cheap dollar tree stuff if you want, but it has helped with trips across America ( one for every state) and this trip also.

Go and enjoy and why feel guilty for building the core of their family, you two!!