Traveling with Teens in Love ??'s

[Shercara]

thanks again for all your replies. They have been dating for about a year, so it's not likely they'll split before the cruise - my DH and I are childhood sweethearts (15 & 17 when we met) and will be celebrating our 22nd anniversary later this year. Don't know if this is "it" with them -but they think they're "in love."

 

I do trust them - but don't want to hand them an "opportunity" or a challenge and have them make the wrong decision.

 

Ok all you teens - how do you think this "old" mom should handle this?? What kind of rules or talks should we have before the cruise that they might listen to?

 

<font color=blue>WDW 11/3/02 - 11/8/02</font>

<font color=#FF9900>7 day MAGIC 11/9/02 Western Caribbean!</font>

<font color=red>7 day Magic 7/28/01~Our First Taste of the MAGIC!</font></center>

7/16/04 Voyager of the Sea NYC Cruise

 

[I Love BBC&apos;s]

Make 'em feel guilty.

 

I would tell them your personal feelings about sex and how irresponsible it is to have it at a young age, and make them watch movies like "KIDS" and "For Keeps" to scare them...

 

However, let them know that if they have sex in the room, which you paid for, you would be contributing to the delinquency of two minors and could go to jail. And tell them the Caribbean FBI is way more serious about this that the US is. And if they are caught, you will wind up in an un-airconditioned Belizean jail with only dirty water and rotting fruit to eat.

 

And if that doesn't work...

 

Sorry, I have taken some heavy migraine drugs and I appear to be deluded...

 

 

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[Shercara]

any other ideas folks?

 

<font color=blue>WDW 11/3/02 - 11/8/02</font>

<font color=#FF9900>7 day MAGIC 11/9/02 Western Caribbean!</font>

<font color=red>7 day Magic 7/28/01~Our First Taste of the MAGIC!</font></center>

7/16/04 Voyager of the Sea ~ Bayonne, NJ Cruise

 

[I Love BBC&apos;s]

I kind of liked my suggestion

 

 

<a href="http://messages.cruisecritic.com/2/OpenTopic?a=tpc&s=927093444&f=1683059817&m=290103261">

RCCL Serenade 1.15.05 <font size=1>--->CLICK for our Roll Call!</font size></a>

CCL Inspiration 3.7.2004

RCCL Adventure 7.6.2003

CCL Destiny 6.30.2002

CCL Imagination 1.16.1999

CCL Fascination 3.17.1998

[kryos]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>If they were my kids, I wouldn't give them a key. Maybe take along two-way radios so they can easily find one of you if they need to buy something. Just don't make an issue of it.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Maybe I'm missing something here, but why would the kids need to buy something so urgently that they couldn't wait until dinner to ask mom and dad if it's okay?

 

If they have a soda card to cover their soft drinks, there should be nothing urgent they would need requiring a room key to purchase.

 

Look, I'll be honest here ... I don't have kids ... I'm 48 ... but I know that my folks sure as hell wouldn't have trusted me as a teenager with a "blank check" I could run up. Mom would have been controlling the spending. No question. Let's just say my mom would have been more concerned with having the shopping privilege deactivated if I were to have a room key.

 

I say there is no reason they need room keys at all. But ... what's to say you won't end up having no choice but to leave one of the kids in the room on a given day? What happens if one of them gets seasick and needs to stay behind to lie down?

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[Shercara]

OK BBC - I "kinda" like your idea too! LOL!

 

kryos - if they gave out a seperate soda card - this wouldnt be an issue - but as I understand it, on RCCL, they put a sticker on your "sign and sail" card, for the soda program, and it also opens your room.

 

I don't have a concern about my son over spending. I can check the room charges everyday, and he really isnt a shopper.

 

I think we will hold on to their keys at first, and bring walkie talkies, and see how it goes.

 

thanks all for your thoughts and concerns!

Sher

 

<font color=blue>WDW 11/3/02 - 11/8/02</font>

<font color=#FF9900>7 day MAGIC 11/9/02 Western Caribbean!</font>

<font color=red>7 day Magic 7/28/01~Our First Taste of the MAGIC!</font></center>

7/16/04 Voyager of the Sea ~ Bayonne, NJ Cruise

 

[kryos]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shercara:

kryos - if they gave out a seperate soda card - this wouldnt be an issue - but as I understand it, on RCCL, they put a sticker on your "sign and sail" card, for the soda program, and it also opens your room.

 

I don't have a concern about my son over spending. I can check the room charges everyday, and he really isnt a shopper.

 

I think we will hold on to their keys at first, and bring walkie talkies, and see how it goes.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

Oh, okay. I didn't realize the soda cards weren't separate. Then, yeah, my idea wouldn't work.

 

Well, however you decide to work it, I'm sure you'll all have a great time. And, hey ... just tell the kids that when they get married, you'll buy them a cruise honeymoon. Then they can spend as much time as they want in the room.

 

Blue skies and happy cruising!

 

--rita

[FCOWHER]

How did it end up? Were the kids able to have a secret rendezvous? My cousin was 16 and in a lifeboat on our first cruise when his parents found him "entertaining" a young lady.

[MrsPete]

Since they've been dating for a while, here's an important question: What rules do you impose upon their dating activities at home? If they are accustomed to "strict parent rules" at home -- for example, no car dates, you can watch TV in the family room but the door stays open, or whatever works for your family -- then they're likely to accept them without question.

 

I strongly suspect that if nothing's going on at home, then nothing will go on during the cruise. Of course, the opposite is true too: if they're already intimate at home, then they will find a way on the ship. If they're really looking for a "spot", they'll find plenty of dark hidey-holes on the ship in the evening.

 

I agree with the other poster who suggested that BOTH sets of parents sit down together with the children (and any other children you may have) and lay down the law. Explain consequences too. We go on a trip every year with a large group of friends who have children of all ages. One mom missed one of our "big" social events one year because she'd grounded a child and had to stay in the hotel room with her. She told me later that she hated like everything to miss that event, but that she had never had to ground that child since. She proved to her that she would follow up, even if it was painful to her too.

 

I would suggest allowing them to be in one another's cabins ONLY if an adult is present. I'd say the balcony would be okay IF an adult is in the room. I would make a point of popping in and out of the room unexpectedly just so they know you'll do it.

 

I think you're on the right track. I'm sure they're good kids, but it's a parent's job to look out for good kids who may give in to a moment's temptation. Hollywood and the media tell our kids all day long that sex is just something casual, and it's okay to do it with just anyone. You have to protect them from that message.

[Ta421sBtrHalf]

Don't forget they can always get the room steward to open the room for them too. All it takes is the girl to say "I need in the room I have a problem" and the boy can be waiting around the corner. There are way too many places on the ship to be alone too. Your best bet is to have quarterly hour checks (one per hour for each parent) or a long dog leash LOL.

[MrsPete]

Check on teens every 15 minutes? That doesn't sound particularly practical, and I'm a pretty strict parent! Plus it sends the message that you do not trust them.

[ny grits]

excuse me for asking, but why are you going on vacation with your son's girlfriend and family anyway? sounds like wedding bells and honeymoon to me.

[ladycaveat]

Love this site . . . reminds me of what I when through when my son was 17 and we went on a cruise with his girlfriend (16) and her parents. Of course that was 11 years ago (my son is now a 28 year old Coast Guard pilot). Both her parents and my husband and I had many long talks before the cruise about "young love." We decided to just trust our kids and let them each have keys to the cabins. But . . . the number one rule for each was that neither were allowed to have "anyone" in the cabin unless their parents were there. There were so many activities on board (it was a cruise to Alaska) . . . for the most part . . . they were always with us. I know things are probably a little different now days but . . . I still think if you've raised your kids to know what is expected of them . . . they will "try" to do what is right (and keep them busy every waking minute). My son is still single (engaged) . . . his "girlfriend" is married with two kids and the two of them are still "best friends." It was one of one best cruises I've ever been on . . .

[TERRY223]

Shercara, if, up to now, they have not given you "cause" to distrust them- give them a key with an explanation of the rules for 'use' of the key. Your worrying, will not deter their "urge to merge", with or without a room key. Let's hope they will honor your wishes and make good choices.

[babsee101]

Apparently this cruise took place in July 2004....wonder how it went.